In the Flesh

by K D Grace

  “Michael, what are you doing? We’ll figure this out. It’ll be okay. He’s not in you now. I can feel He’s not.” I tried to fight Magda, but her grip on my arms was like iron as she turned me toward the door. “Michael,” I called over my shoulder, straining against her hold. “Don’t push me away. Michael, I can help.”

  He pulled himself to his feet with an effort that looked as though it hurt him and, for a moment that was all too brief, his gaze locked on me. “I’m sorry, Susan. I’m so, so sorry.” Then he turned his back and hunched against the battlement, shoulders rising and falling as though each breath were a desperate effort.

  “What’s he going to do? What the hell is he going to do?” I fought for all I was worth, but Talia flanked me on the other side and the two women maneuvered me to the stairs.

  “It’ll be all right,” Talia said, but there was very little conviction in her voice. Inside, she slammed the stair door behind us, effectively shutting Michael on the roof.

  Alonso waited for us just beyond the daylight. He took me in his arms and bodily carried me, kicking and screaming, down the stairs as Magda turned back to the roof.

  At the bottom of the stairs, Alonso pushed me up against the wall, pressing one forearm across my shoulders, just above my breasts so I couldn’t move. With the other he took my chin in his hands and forced me to meet his gaze. “Susan, he’s not going to jump. Magda would never let him do that, and it’s hardly his way. Calm down.”

  The sheer force of him prickled over my skin like electricity, and I relaxed.

  When he was sure I was calm enough to hear what he had to say, he smoothed the rain-soaked hair out of my face and spoke. “Michael’s right. He’s not safe, as you just saw, as we all just saw. It isn’t safe for you to be with him right now, not until Magda figures out what to do.” He gave the succubus a nod and she disappeared down the hall. “Talia will bring you some dry clothes, and then she’ll stay with you until Magda can sort things out.”

  “I’m not any safer than he is,” I said, fighting back a sob.

  He wiped an escaped tear with the tip of a cool thumb. “Then I shall stay with you. Not that I’m exactly safe, either, but I’m probably your best bet at the moment.”

  Once I had changed into a dry, if rather oversized, tracksuit, Talia informed me that Annie was safely back in her bed, this time with stronger magic to protect her.

  Though I had little confidence in any form of magic after all that had happened, I still held the stone heart that Magda had made for me in a suicide grip every second that I was alone.

  Alonso dismissed the succubus and led me back to his study. There, he pointed me to a roll-top desk in one corner where my Mac sat. “My good sister was a writer, and a fine one, indeed.” He chuckled softly. “Of course that was long before the days of computers, but I know a writer’s mind. I know that sometimes the only way to make sense out of the chaos is to write it down, and if you are a scribe, as Magda says, then it’s even more true for you.”

  “Thank you,” I managed as he pulled out the chair for me and settled me at the desk.

  “Not at all, my darling girl. We all work out our demons in different ways.”

  Right on time, Cook delivered tea and homemade shortbread.

  “Allow me,” Alonso said, pouring the tea into a porcelain cup from a matching tea service that I suspected would have brought a fortune on Antiques Roadshow. As he did so, he inhaled deeply. “Though I can no longer enjoy a good cup of freshly brewed tea myself, I may still take pleasure in the scent, in the warmth, and in the sharing of the experience with those who can enjoy it.” He offered me a steaming cup.

  I sipped and felt the heat curl down deep in my belly, where everything had turned to ice from the incident on the battlement.

  “What about your demons, Alonso?” I asked, as he settled onto the sofa with a battered copy of Marcus Aralias’s Meditations. “I’m sorry, I know it’s none of my business. I guess I just needed to know that I’m not the only one doing battle, though clearly you haven’t failed so miserably in you efforts as I have.”

  “Oh, I’ve had more than my share of failing miserably, darling girl.” He laid down the book and stroked his chin. “In the old days, anything that stood between me and what I wanted—I simply drank its blood, then killed it.” He offered a little chuckle when I shuddered. “That obviously didn’t work too well in the end, and I had to find a way to live with who I am, what I’ve done, and what I must do to survive. Talia has been a friend and companion to me for a very long time, and her help in sorting my dreams, in offering me solace, has been invaluable. Of course now Reese is the delight of my heart, and wise far beyond his years. But in truth,” he shifted on the sofa and held me in a dark gaze, “it was Magda Gardener who saved me from my worst demon, and that was none other than me and my own self-loathing.”

  “But not without a price,” I said, tasting the bitterness of my words.

  He shrugged. “Everything has a price, my darling girl. It’s up to each of us to decide if it’s a price worth paying and, in my case, it’s not a price that I have ever regretted.” His chuckle was almost a purr. “Of course the woman can be a bloody nuisance at times, but I can overlook that. If she needs me, I’ll be there, and she knows it and is quick to return the favor.”

  We sat in silence for a moment, both lost in our thoughts. I wondered how it was that, though everyone feared Magda Gardener, and no one was ever particularly happy when she showed up on their doorstep, everyone always willingly did for her whatever she asked of them, and they seemed to do it out of respect for her, rather than fear. “May I ask you a question?” My voice sounded overly loud in the quiet room.

  “Of course.”

  “Magda says it’s because you’re a vampire that the Guardian can’t get to you?”

  He nodded. “He must feed on the living just as I must, so I am of no use to Him.”

  “And what about Reese? Why haven’t you turned him into a vampire? Aren’t you afraid the Guardian might take him?”

  “Oh, I’ll bring Reese over if he wishes it one day. But only if I’m certain that he wishes it. There’s no undoing the deed once it’s done, and the price is a very high one, indeed. Never to see the light of day, never to taste the pleasure of a good cup of tea, always to feel the insatiable hunger for blood. Always to live in fear that you might be found out, and worst of all, the fear that you might hurt or even destroy the ones you love. It isn’t a decision to be taken lightly, and Reese knows this well. But you see, Reese sups regularly from my heart’s blood, and he is the lover of a vampire, my familiar. He is… polluted, if you will. Oh, the Guardian could still take him, but only as a last resort.”

  “And Talia? She drinks from you.”

  “She’s also less vulnerable because she’s under my protection. Everyone who works in my household is… I suppose you could say… tainted by my blood. The Guardian would find that very distasteful, and of no interest as long as He has His mind set on you. Nonetheless, Magda is wise to do all she can to protect what’s mine. You see, what’s mine is also hers.”

  “So in a way you’re her familiar.”

  At this, he laughed out loud. “I suppose you could say that. Though I’ve never quite thought of it that way, and I’m sure she would no more approve of that parallel than would your angel.”

  The mention of Michael made my throat tighten and the room blurred as my eyes misted. “Michael! Dear God, what he’s been through.” I laid my hand against his mark, which still stung as though I had abraded the skin somehow. “How can this be happening to him again?”

  Alonso was instantly at my side, offering a pristine handkerchief from his pocket. “I don’t know, my darling girl, but I do know that Magda defeated the Guardian before and brought Michael safely away from Him.”

  “And I released the bastard to torture him again.”

  He knelt in front of me and lifted my chin so I was forced to look into his bright eyes, which instantly mad
e the world seem slightly askew before it righted itself again. “Do not think for one moment that this is your fault. You were deceived. You were deceived!” He took my face in his hand so I couldn’t look away. “You know your heart, Susan. You must trust what you know. You’re a scribe, for God’s sake! You know your own soul better than any other mortal can, and I’ve been around long enough to be a very good judge of character. It’s in the nature of the Guardian to deceive. It’s what He does, and it’s in the nature of a scribe to reveal the hidden and release it into the world, to unlock secrets. He knew that as you never could, and He took advantage. The laying of blame is always easier than facing the truth, my darling girl, and there are times when one needs an unbiased eye to lay the blame where it properly belongs. I shall be that for you, Susan Innes, if you’ll allow me the honor. I shall tell you without bias that you are not to blame for the release of the Guardian into the world. The blame for all that He’s done, all that He has ever done, lies squarely at His miserable feet, and no one else’s. You must believe me in this if you, or any of those you love, are to survive, and if there is to be any chance of returning this monster to His prison.”

  Before I could respond, the door to the study swung open. Talia came in, followed by Reese, and not far behind him Magda. Michael brought up the rear.

  “Michael! Thank God! Are you all right?” When I tried to go to him, he glanced at Alonso and shook his head.

  Alonso nodded his understanding and gently but firmly settled me back at the desk.

  For a second Michael stood, as though he wasn’t certain what to do next. Whatever it was that crossed his face in the split second before he regained control of his emotions both terrified me and broke my heart. Feeling me tense, the vampire’s grip tightened gently around my wrist. For a second longer, Michael stood at the door. Then he squared his shoulders, took a deep breath and pulled it shut behind him, moving to take a chair on the far side of the room, carefully avoiding my gaze.

  “We need to talk.” Magda settled in the big wingback chair near the fireplace. “Clearly the Guardian has forced our hand, and it’s time to end this before more damage can be done.”

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  It was the first time I’d seen Magda Gardener looking anything but calm and relaxed and only just slightly this side of laughing at a good joke. She looked tired. She didn’t just look tired, she looked downright worried, and that scared me. Clearly it scared everyone in the room, although after what had happened on the battlement, Magda Gardener’s countenance was probably just the icing on the shit-storm cake we were all facing. That sucked, but it was Michael sitting across the room, doing his best to avoid my gaze that shredded me.

  Alonso offered me his hand and gently guided me to the loveseat to sit next to him, the battered copy of Marcus Aralias falling to the floor with a muted thump.

  Everyone settled, then waited expectantly, all eyes on Magda Gardener—all eyes but Michael’s. He only stared at the floor, looking pale and drawn. There were dark circles under his eyes that hadn’t been there before we’d all made our mad race to save Annie.

  With an icy shiver I realized he was showing the same symptoms Annie showed, the result of the Guardian’s attentions.

  But before I could dwell on Michael’s situation, Magda spoke. “I’ve done what I can to protect Michael from another invasion, but with magic there are never any guarantees, especially not in dealing with the Guardian.”

  “I don’t see that you have much choice but to return me to Chapel House,” I said, and I was surprised to find that I had no ulterior motive this time, other than wanting Michael and Annie free from this horror and everyone else safe.

  “You’re right. There is no other choice.” It was Michael who replied. He lifted his gaze to me. “You’ll be returned to Chapel House and me along with you.”

  Magda cut in. “He wants you both. Having you both is His way of proving He can do whatever He wants, and we can’t stop him.” She ran a hand through her windblown hair, which settled around her like a writhing halo. “It’s a good bet that once you’ve both been returned to Him He’ll see to the death of your friend, then begin working away on Alonso’s people as well. It’s His way to punish us for thinking we can best Him, to punish me for having done so before.”

  “Jesus! You can’t let that happe—”

  “Shut up, Susan. The time for negotiation is over. I’m telling you exactly what He’ll do because He doesn’t negotiate. He has no feeling of human emotion, no understanding of compassion or empathy.”

  “I won’t give up people under my protection, Magda. You know this,” Alonso said.

  “I know you’re a fool, Alonso, driven by your heart to the bitter end. That’s why you’ll do exactly as I say. That’s why you’ll all do exactly as I say, because your humanity is your strength. It’s the one thing He doesn’t understand. We can use that against Him.”

  “You have a plan then,” Talia said.

  “I do.” Magda bit her lip and squared her shoulders, taking in everyone in the room with a gaze that was made all the more impressive by the dark glasses she always wore. “And if you all do exactly as I say, exactly as I say,” she emphasized the words as though our lives depended upon them, which was more than likely the truth, “then I’ll have the Guardian safely back in His stone prison by this time tomorrow.”

  She raised a hand when Alonso started to speak. “There will be no negotiation, no second guessing, no questioning. Is that clear? Susan?”

  I felt as though her gaze beneath the glasses was turning me to ice. I nodded mechanically.

  “I mean it. I’m the only one who knows how to deal with this bastard and I’ll tolerate no interference.”

  “So what’s your plan then?” Reese asked, moving to sit on the arm of the loveseat next to Alonso.

  “Tonight, Michael and Susan will steal a vehicle and slip away, back to Chapel House, where they’ll fervently negotiate with the Guardian to release Annie and everyone else in exchange for them.”

  “Why a night escape? In case you’ve forgotten, this is a vampire lair,” Talia said. “The place will be far less vulnerable when the vampire is able to move about freely.”

  “I’ve forgotten nothing,” Magda replied. “Didn’t you just hear Alonso say that he would do whatever it took to protect his own?” She nodded to Michael and me. “They’re not his own. They bring danger into his house. The Guardian will have no trouble believing that Alonso will turn a blind eye, even possibly leave the keys in the getaway car. Remember, He has no concept of loyalty or compassion. He’ll believe it, trust me.”

  “And then what?” I asked. I didn’t realize I was trembling until Alonso slipped a comforting arm around me, and the look that crossed Michael’s face as he watched was raw anguish.

  “And then I invite Him in,” Michael said. “That’s what He wants more than anything, to experience the sensations of being in the flesh. That’s what I can give Him. He wants to experience taking you with my body.” The muscles along his jaw twitched, his lips thinned to a grim line and I could see the pulse in his temple hammering a rapid staccato. For a second he struggled, as though the power of speech had suddenly left him. Then he drew himself up to his full height and his eyes locked on mine. “I… I have to let Him if we’re ever to end this.”

  I nodded, for a second losing my own ability to speak as my throat constricted and I felt as though the room were tilting around me. “I understand,” I said. I didn’t. I never would, but I certainly had no idea how to fight this bastard, especially not when most of the time what I wanted on a visceral level was for Him to fuck my brains out. “And then what?” I finally managed.

  “Once He’s inside Michael, He’s vulnerable,” Magda said. “It’ll be your job to hold His attention, which shouldn’t be too difficult since you’re the object of His lust and He’ll be enjoying you physically, something He won’t be able to resist. You just need to hold His attention until I give the word.”<
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  The room was deadly silent. I would wager everyone was holding their breath. I certainly was.

  “And this is very important, Susan.” She turned her full attention on me again. “When I give the word, you close your eyes, you close them as tightly as you can, and you don’t open them for anything. Not for anything, until I say it’s okay.”

  “I don’t understand. How’s that supposed to help me or Michael? If I’m lying there helpless with my eyes closed and—”

  “Michael knows what to do. And everything hinges on you keeping your eyes closed. I don’t care if you understand or not. That doesn’t matter. What matters is that you do exactly as I say, that you close your eyes and keep them closed until it’s over.”

  “Susan.” Alonso gently squeezed my hand. “Please don’t argue. Do as she says. Magda knows what she’s doing, and if you do as she says, you’ll come back to us safely.”

  Michael, who still held me in his laser gaze, nodded his agreement with Alonso and Magda. “The plan will work, Susan. It’s the only plan that will work, and you have to trust Magda. You have to trust me.”

  I nodded. But I didn’t trust either of them, not really. I didn’t trust anyone against the Guardian. He didn’t think like a person would, and while He might not understand human emotions, He was incredibly intuitive, and He did understand human actions.

  It wasn’t just that, though, it was the way Magda and Michael were behaving—the furtive glances, the stiff upper lips. Something wasn’t right. I wasn’t being told what would actually happen. I was being told to trust in a place where I had not seen any reason to trust—not because people didn’t have my best interests at heart, but because we were all dealing with insurmountable odds and I was being asked to go in blind. But still I nodded my agreement; I nodded my consent and the trust I didn’t feel. There was nothing else I could do at that moment.