Hoven Quest

by Michelle Levigne

  “And what does that have to do with that disgusting pie you ate last night?” I tried to laugh. The sound caught in my throat. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him in thanks, then pushed away.

  I wanted to stay there in the warmth and safety of his arms, but I knew better. Everyone in our team understood there was no romance between us, but they were sensitized to look for any sign of my approaching maturity, thanks to the ravings and maneuvering of the old guard. For them to catch us together, early in the morning, holding each other—it was just one more problem we didn't need to explain away.

  “We had some guests, refugees, returnees, whatever you want to call them. They stayed with us for a few days and cooked a few Henyaski dishes for us. I was so sick after I ate it, I've never wanted to even try it again."

  “You were already coming down with...” Kel rubbed his hands over his face and took a step back. “How did I know you were already sick when you ate it?"

  “This is getting a little weird."

  “Getting?” He forced a laugh and stepped back to the counter to get the teapot. His hands shook once before he got control of himself and poured two steaming hot mugs for us.

  We sat in silence for a while, sipping, and it was nice to know we were still comfortable together, despite the revelations that had passed between us. That had to mean something. Despite what was happening, we still liked each other, felt safe together.

  “I have to confess something,” I finally said. I put my half-empty mug back on the counter and sat back, forcing myself to meet Kel's gaze. “I've left a few things out of my dream journal."

  “No, please,” Kel whispered. He tried to smile. Some of the color left his face. “Please tell me you didn't dream about us kissing."

  “They're not really in any dreams,” I hurried to tell him. All my stupid pre-adolescent, star-struck dreams came rushing back to me. Maybe hormones weren't to blame for the insanity that seemed to overwhelm girls my age? “Just glimpses. Before I'm falling asleep. When I'm half-awake in the middle of the night. Sometimes ... I don't know. But I get this lovely, warm feeling and it's just exactly like the feeling when you held me a little while ago.” I didn't like the stiff, crooked little smile he wore, and when I reached to touch his hand, he flinched. “Kel?"

  “You're right.” He put his mug down and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I think about kissing you a lot. And I try, I swear, Kendle, I try so hard not to think about it, because I don't want to scare you."

  “Why would it scare me? You're my best friend, even though we've only known each other such a short time."

  “Kendle...” He let out a long, loud breath. “I'm a mixed-blood, remember?” Kel waited until I nodded. “I didn't mature as quickly as normal Human males, but I am a mature male. And even though I keep reminding myself you're still technically a little girl...” He shrugged. “I can hardly remember what my dreams of my ideal Hovenu girl were like, because you've wiped her out of my head.” He reached out and caught hold of my hands again. “It's wrong to want more than what we've got. Those shriveled old nasties in the old guard certainly let me know where I stand, but—"

  “That doesn't matter to me. Or to Uncle.” My tongue tangled. I wanted so badly to tell him that if he wanted to court me, he was more than welcome. But I was afraid. Which was stupid, because hadn't he just told me that I was his ideal girl?

  Three hard raps on the suite door interrupted. Kel yanked his hands back and got up to take a few steps away, his face red, as if we had been caught doing something wrong. I got up to answer the door when the knocking started again. The last thing I needed was for Regina and Soolyn to wake up and join us. Kel and I needed to finish our conversation, as soon as possible.

  Garan was out there in the hall, and he had the rest of our team with him, bringing contributions for breakfast. We needed to meet to plan our day and share the latest information that had come from Scout Central about the Set'ri prisoners. That meeting took us all morning, we were nearly late for our afternoon publicity appearance, and I couldn't hold a single thing in my head. Everything that had gone on between me and Kel made it impossible to think about lesser considerations, like the Set'ri plan to destroy the last remaining Hoveni.

  I think Kel was relieved at the interruption, and I silently called him a coward. Many times. With emphasis, so he could hear me.

  Then I realized that under my pique, I was relieved, too.

  We needed time to think.

  Garan didn't give us much time to think. His report on the Set'ri equipment his Scouts had confiscated and the information they had gleaned caught up our imaginations. It caught the attention of the Scout Corps, to the point that Commander Kern intended to come to Gemar in another lunar to oversee a sweep for Set'ri nests.

  “The problem with that is, it lets the Set'ri know there is something here to protect,” Garan added, looking around the table. “As far as we can tell, no one was ordered to attack Kel and Kendle that night. Those men were acting on their own and were waiting to report in after they finished up and had something definite to report. We were able to slip bits of information into the news portals, to explain their disappearance. Flitter crashes are commonplace, especially when the vehicles in question were seen racing away from Megavissy Carnival after Kel's flitter was bombed."

  “But that will let them know I did something to make their men suspect,” Kel said. “Won't it?"

  “We have people watching around the Warren, in case someone did get word to their superiors they were hunting you there. And we have people tapping the data stream in Peacer headquarters, to catch anyone trying to get information on the wounded, comatose men who are currently in custody. So far, nothing."

  “It sounds like they write off their failures just like they tried to write off our ancestors,” Soolyn muttered.

  “Good for us, though,” Garan said. “For a while. I know your master plan doesn't allow for revealing the existence of the Hoveni for another generation or two, but consider that the Set'ri are getting close. You can't afford to wait to have the populace of Gemar thoroughly indoctrinated. You can't even wait for the history lessons written into next season to be broadcast."

  “That's why your uncle is coming to Gemar, isn't it?” Kel said. He was remarkably steady since the shock of our private conversation. Maybe nothing more could bother him, after so much happened between us. “He's bringing the Scout Corps and the Leapers and anyone else who can help, to evacuate us if necessary."

  “If necessary.” He nodded. “Uncle Bain always told me that the first Spacer rule of survival was redundancy. Always have more safeguards in place than you think you'll need. Always be prepared for the worst disaster. Better to be prepared for something that doesn't happen, than to be complacent and get trapped with no way out."

  That thought stayed with us throughout the publicity appearance that afternoon. I searched for the exits when we walked out onto the stage at the university, where more than three hundred theatrical students of all possible ages had gathered to talk to us about the behind-the-scenes work of producing Hoven Quest. I was distracted at times, but hardly anyone noticed. The students were so busy flinging questions at us, at everyone on the team, it was hard to tell when anyone hesitated because they were stumped or distracted. When I didn't answer immediately, someone was always ready to jump in to answer.

  Kel noticed. No matter how uncomfortable his little confession that morning had made him, he didn't hesitate to link his arm through mine and guide me offstage when the two-hour presentation was finally over. He kept his arm linked with mine all the way to the long passenger cart with the tinted windows and scanner shielding that Garan had obtained for us.

  “Wouldn't this alert our enemies that we know they're around?” I said, as soon as the thought occurred to me. I gestured at the cart and the robot controls—which Garan had disengaged—by way of explanation, when the others gave me questioning looks. All except Kel, of course. He understood wh
at I was thinking.

  “Every precaution we take is just another visible sign that we have something to worry about,” Kel said, nodding. “But do you really want to take a chance on someone attacking us? What if these Set'ri are the old-fashioned ones who want to just destroy us instead of kidnap and use us?"

  “You're no comfort at all,” I grumbled. But Kel grinned at me and I smiled back, and I didn't mind that he rested his arm along the back of the seat we shared. He didn't touch me, the whole long, silent ride back to our hotel, but he was close enough that it didn't matter.

  * * * *

  I couldn't sleep that night, which was frustrating, because I suspected that meeting in our dreams was the only way to have a private conversation with Kel for the next few days. In the morning, we were scheduled for a day-long symposium with anthropologists from several distant planets, including an academic institution in the Conclave and a handful of doctors from the Commonwealth Upper University.

  When I gave up on trying to sleep and stepped out onto the balcony that faced the inner courtyard, I found Kel leaning against the railing of his balcony, looking up at the moons. Maybe that was why I couldn't sleep? Maybe, somehow, we had become so attuned, when one couldn't sleep, neither could the other?

  I couldn't decide if that was a comforting thought, or a problem.

  Kel stood there, just looking up, his face quiet, unreadable in the moonlight. I didn't make a sound. I just stood and waited, watching him.

  What if this link between us was two-way, a bond forming between us that we had no control over? I liked the idea.

  Maybe this was what fixation was like?

  What I needed to understand was how could fixation occur when I was still several years away from maturity? It wasn't like we had any medical textbooks for Hovenu physiology, but enough information had been passed down, I knew fixation didn't take place until full physical maturity occurred. And that included sexual maturity, the ability to have children. Some philosophers among the Hoveni had said that fixation was a gift from Fi'in, to ensure that the brightest and best bloodlines were preserved. Breeding for excellence. Others said that fixation was a manifestation of choices made by our souls before we were even born, that the souls waiting for bodies were able to communicate and reach out to each other and choose their perfect match.

  I liked that idea. But it still didn't explain how Kel and I were linking, mentally, in our dreams, while I was, as he put it, technically still a little girl.

  Did Kel mind that we were sharing dreams and even some thoughts? I hoped not. I didn't want to lose someone who had already become my best friend.

  Maybe we were so close, so attuned, because this mental linking had begun from the moment we first met?

  “I'm sorry,” he said, and turned to lean against the railing so we faced each other.

  “For what?” I laughed a little.

  “Keeping you awake."

  “Maybe I kept you awake, did you ever think of that?"

  “I used to have this daydream ... when the show first started, I wanted to meet you. Get to know you. I couldn't get you out of my head, ever since that night at Megavissy when Amaxus approached me about my contract with FAN.” He shook his head. “I kept telling myself that it wouldn't look good, chasing the niece of the executive producer."

  “Who cares how it looks?"

  “You mean besides the gossip sheets across the entire planet, and the old guard?” Kel crossed the balcony and rested his crossed arms on the railing closest to my balcony. He leaned down, his chin almost on his crossed arms. “The thing is, I had this daydream about bringing the Hoveni together through the show and someday turning to you and telling you about my background, and you not minding that I was a freak."

  “Kel—” I choked on the lecture ready to spill from my lips, because Kel grinned, making the word ‘freak’ into a joke.

  “All those panic conference calls at the beginning, when I had questions? I used to dream up excuses, problems, just so we could talk. When I walked into your uncle's office and saw you sitting there, I thought—I didn't know what to think. I couldn't wait to spend time with you."

  “The same here. It's like we've been friends for years."

  “Friends.” He rolled his eyes and sighed loudly. “Do you have any idea how bad that word sounds when I want more than that?"

  “How much more?” My voice broke and I leaned forward, mimicking his pose against the railing. It was a good thing there were two meters of open air between us. The distance and the quiet of the night forced us to stay apart and to speak quietly, and control ourselves.

  “You're a pureblood."

  “Tell me something I don't know. Kel, you see me as a grown woman, don't you?” I muffled a laugh when his eyes widened and he stood up and swallowed audibly.

  It was a good thing I wore exercise clothes to bed while I was on the road, just in case we had to evacuate the hotel. My skimpy sleepshirt would have left nothing to the imagination, and seriously compromised any chance of a sensible conversation between us.

  “You're not ready to think about—well—the future,” he began.

  “Like marriage and sex and having babies?” I bit my lip against grinning even wider when Kel flinched. What was wrong with him, to be so uncomfortable talking about such things?

  Then I knew. Maybe the ideas came straight from his mind into mine. He wanted me, physically, man to woman. And he knew it was wrong because I was immature. And because of all the fuss the old guard had raised. He thought he didn't have a chance with me. He had wanted to get to know me, court me, back when he thought he was a lone Hoven and I was a Human girl. Correction, when he thought I was a Human woman, fully mature and interested in things like love and sex and marriage and babies.

  “Do you have any idea how many family heads and ambitious young men have tried to arrange a marriage in the last twenty years? Back when I was a toddler, people were pestering my parents. I was the heir of Melafyxia. They didn't care if I grew up a spoiled brat or ugly or mentally deficient, it was the political alliance, the power they wanted. They don't see me as a woman. None of them have made any effort to get to know me. I'll bet quite a few haven't even bothered to find out what I look like. You see me as a woman, and your friend. That means more to me than anything else."

  I stood up and gripped the railing hard, suddenly nervous enough to run away. I honestly had no idea if I should tell him about a Hovenu woman's ability to speed up her maturing. Males had to take drugs to speed up or slow their maturing, depending on their circumstances, but females had always had total control over their bodies. If I wanted, I could be mature within in a year. Able to have children. Kel's children.

  “I'll wait for you,” Kel said, his voice choked. “If we're still friends, if you want me—"

  “Oh, for pity's sake,” Soolyn said, her voice rich with laughter and coming through the curtains behind us, “this just will not sell. You're supposed to leap the gap and get down on your knees and promise your undying love, you silly twit."

  Kel and I stared at each other. I'm sure my face was just as red and horrified as his. Then the whole idiocy of the situation struck me as ridiculous. How much of our conversation had she heard? It didn't matter. I snorted, trying not to laugh. Kel hunched his shoulders and pressed both hands over his mouth, muffling the sound. He staggered back against the door leading inside, his eyes watering, his face getting even redder. He caught his breath and swept me a deep bow and vanished into his room.

  Everything was going to be just fine, I decided. I stumbled a little as I retreated into the suite. Soolyn sprawled on the couch in front of the Tri-V pit, tearing pieces off a long strip of chewy confection. She gave me a disgusted look and shook her head.

  “Don't ever try to write romance, Kendle. You're hopeless."

  “Fixation is more important than romance,” I snapped. Which just showed how unbalanced I still was from the whole encounter. And maybe I wanted to get back at her for teasing
me.

  That got her attention. She sat up and nearly choked on her candy. When she demanded the details, she got loud enough to wake up Regina. To hush them both, I gave them an abbreviated version of everything Kel and I had been experiencing, and added my theory about my dreams that had inspired the entire series of Meruk stories. Soolyn wanted to believe fixation had struck, while Regina had her doubts. They both agreed that Kel needed some lessons in courtship.

  “He's afraid to do anything,” I retorted. “Those idiots in the old guard probably got to him and threatened his life. It's blasphemy, don't you know, for a mixed-blood to try to lay claim to the heir of Melafyxia?"

  “The sooner you two have a half dozen little girls to pass the responsibility on to, the better for everyone,” Soolyn retorted. That remark struck her as funny and she went to bed, giggling.

  Regina said nothing as she fixed herself a bowl of bread and milk to help her get back to sleep. Her sympathetic look said it all. She wanted me to be right, but she couldn't get past her doubts. Fixation was a rare thing, and who could really know if my gifts as Melafyxia's heir weren't causing the whole phenomenon?

  Fixation is a rare thing, I repeated to myself after Regina went back to bed with her snack. Very rare.

  How sure were we about all the facts? Couldn't details have been lost in the centuries of hiding and struggling to survive?

  When I finally slept, there on the couch, I dreamed that Kel and I just stood there in silence, holding each other, warm and safe and alone together. We didn't need to talk. I thought about spending the rest of my life with him and I knew it was right.

  * * *

  Chapter Ten

  The academic symposium was much like the one I had attended as a child, when I wrote that paper on Hovenu history and culture that became the guidebook for the series. People still stared at me, but this time it wasn't because I was a little girl attending a serious, highly intellectual, academic function. I was the center of attention, because my paper had become the definitive work on the Hoveni. Kel and the rest of our team were there to help answer questions, but the focus of attention wasn't on the series, for the first time since the publicity tour started.