And she didn't understand why the money had so deliberately kept away from them. Granddad Spore had made certain that they wouldn't ever receive anything, long after he was gone. And he'd instructed his daughter Faith to do the same.
Ryan was wishing someone had explained to her what she was supposed to do with it now. Protect it with her life? Give it away? Buy an island and start an emu farm?
“Are you at risk of losing your house? Can you not buy groceries? Like, what's the crisis?”
Kelly cleared his throat again. “Alexander Spore left a yearly allotment to his wife and remaining children. They would have been quite comfortable.”
Vic hissed and shoved away from the table. Ryan kept one eye on him and asked Kelly, “Would have been?”
“They were offered the choice to get it all at once and they took it.”
Realization dawned on Ryan and a smug smile tuned up the corner of her mouth. She looked back to her grandmother and uncles. “You spent it. You spent all of your money and now you want more.” She leaned forward slightly and whispered, “What was it? Fancy cars? Diamonds? What did you get with your inheritance?”
Amanda's icy stare revealed nothing. She stared back blankly and Ryan grew more curious. Her eyes flicked to Vic, who was staring out the window of the high rise office building. Dennis had the good sense to blush when he had eye contact with her.
“I think now is a good time for a break,” the mediator interrupted. He'd barely finished stating what time they'd reconvene before Vic and Dennis were out the door with Amanda and their legal time on their heels.
Ryan watched them go, still not sure why all the hatred was directed towards her.
Kelly sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Horse track, Ryan.”
She snapped her eyes to him. “What?”
Kelsey stood up and knocked his knuckles on the table. “They lost it all at the track.”
***
Ryan stared out across the pasture, her book momentarily forgotten as Kelly's words came back to her.
They lost it all at the track.
It had been an unfathomably long day.
The meeting with all of the lawyers and bad feelings had taken hours. Ryan was so drained, she was amazed she made it home at all. She'd changed her clothes, taken her book, and left for the stables. Not really knowing why, just knowing she wanted to be there.
Ryan's head never stopped running. It was constantly processing and filtering and placing new and old information where it belonged. As the light breeze drifted across the back pasture, rustling the manes on the herd in her field of vision, snippets of memories came back. Arguments between her parents, her mom's anxiety when Ryan had been drawn to The Downs, the string of texts from Vic's wife asking about which horses were injured or sick.
They lost it all at the track.
And now they wanted more.
Ryan knew they wouldn't get it. The process was designed to exhaust her and try to get a settlement of some kind before the judge could rule in her favor. Kelly had explained, Ryan had no trouble understanding it. But it sucked finding out that her blood was just a bunch of lowlifes.
Sure, they dressed nice and they lived in a gated community. But that wasn't a very good indicator of their insides.
Was it an indication of who she could potentially become? Was she close to falling into the trap of addiction and dissatisfaction? Is that why most of the money was in a trust until she was twenty-eight?
She went back to the book, Buck was just learning the Law of Club and Fang and her skin tingled in discomfort. But she couldn't skip past his pain. It was as if she had to observe it, give him acknowledgment in his suffering and confusion.
“It never stops hurting,” Ryan said to the pages, not expecting a reply.
“Nope.” One came anyway in the form of Jesse Hart joining her in the grass.
His long, jean-clad legs stretched out beside her and she heard the unmistakable sound of him biting into an apple.
Ryan was both startled by his presence and not surprised at all. She'd come with no expectations or presuppositions. She'd simply brought her new favorite book and had journeyed into the field behind the large heard pasture. Needing... something.
Needing to read.
And think.
From her stomach where she lay in the grass, she turned her head enough to look at Jesse. He was gazing out across the pasture, his eyes flicked to hers and he winked.
“You snuck past me.”
She rolled her lips in between her teeth, squinting her eyes in the sun. “I didn't know you'd be here.” She looked back to her book. “I'm not even sure why I'm here.”
“Probably for the quiet,” he guessed correctly.
Ryan settled into the familiarity of Jesse's energy. His presence was so incredibly powerful, the kind that could affect everyone in a room. It was probably good that he was usually so even-tempered. If he wasn't... the damage he could unleash.
She was glad he used his powers for good.
“Isn't it your day off?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she sighed.
“Jeremiah left again?”
“Yep.” She pressed her lips together, remembering the argument they'd had last night when he'd dropped her off at home.
She tried to talk to him about her writing again. He decided to tell her who she could be friends with. They'd argued. He had gone home early.
It was frustrating because it seemed to be so small a thing to be upset about.
“He's not happy I'm friends with you.” She sat up, closing the book and setting it next to her as she crossed her legs.
“I expect not.”
Ryan frowned, her head swinging Jesse's direction. He squinted at her sideways and looked away again.
“Most men don't like their women spending quality time with another man.”
Ryan was already rolling her eyes. “But we're just friends, it's not like that.”
“Doesn't matter. It's just how it is.”
“Well, 'how it is' is stupid.”
Jesse chuckled. “There's that college education I've heard so much about.”
She cracked a smile as she plucked at the grass in front of her. “Shut it.”
“Remind me,” Jesse said, focusing on his apple. “How did you two meet again?”
“I've known him since high school.”
“But you didn't date until recently?”
Ryan sighed and leaned back on her elbows. “Yep. Saw me buying pantyhose for my mom's funeral, asked me out.
“That was just, like, three months ago...”
Ryan grimaced. “I know what you're saying, Jesse Hart, but it is what it is.”
“Well, now you've blown away my entire argument with that mind boggling statement.”
She snickered. “Why don't you like him?”
“The better question is, why do you?”
Ryan shrugged. “He's sweet to me. He's funny. He works hard. I feel safe when I'm with him.”
“I see. And in comparison, you walk around terrified when you're alone?”
She blinked, not having thought about it that way. “No.”
“Hm.” He nodded while frowning thoughtfully. “How's the stuff with your relatives?”
“Uh,” she closed her eyes as her brain scrambled to keep up with the subject change. “Fine. Well, not fine. But not horrible. I had a thing today. I guess I have to make a statement to the judge that I didn't coerce my mom into signing the will.”
Which, obviously, she hadn't. It was insane to even think something like that. Her mom was the clearest thinker on the planet. Even after she got sick and the radiation had taken her youth and her hair and her body.
“It wasn't the cancer, you know,” Ryan said out loud, her eyes and throat beginning to burn. “Everyone thinks it was the cancer that took her. But it was the chemo.”
She lifted a hand and swiped at the wetness on her cheek. “I doubt if she would have even done the treatment a
t all if it wasn't for me.”
“What do you mean?” Jesse asked softly.
“She didn't want me to be alone. And the chemo was her best bet at killing the cancer. So she took that gamble.”
Huh. Maybe gambling did run in the family.
“I'm sorry darlin'.”
“It's not your fault,” Ryan said quickly. “It's just facts. Facts shouldn't hurt feelings.” She said the words even as more tears slid down her cheeks. She didn't bother to wipe them this time, letting the breeze dry them to her face.
She wasn't sure how long they sat in silence. Could have been an hour for all she knew. It was interesting, the time spent with Jesse, it never felt like she was actually with a person. In so far as being with people always left her exhausted and mentally drained. Extended periods of time with people would leave her craving the solitude of her home.
But not Jesse.
Spending time with Jesse Hart was like spending time in her own head.
It was restful.
Reflective.
Calm.
Jesse stood up, disturbing her thoughts and drawing her gaze up to his profile that was back-lit by the sun.
“C'mon, let's take a walk.”
He didn't hold out his hand to help her up. He hadn't done that since their first lunch together. The knowledge that he never made a move to touch her again after her declaration that it made her uncomfortable, made her chest warm with affection. He listened to her the first time and never pushed for her to be anyone else. He sometimes pushed in other ways, like telling her what to read and to listen to Triston.
But, no, that wasn't it either. He wasn't pushing, he was leading. Because he acted like he was taking those steps with her. Or had taken them himself at one time. Maybe he had.
Whatever the case was, Ryan had learned very quickly that listening to Jesse Hart was beneficial to her brain. Which had been pretty mixed up for a few months and having some of the more confusing issues start to settle into solid states, had her trusting him.
She stood up, and before she'd even reached her feet, he was already striding back through the pasture to where she'd parked.
Jesse Hart was tall with broad shoulders. He had the bearing of an older man, someone more experienced. His maturity didn't match those of the men on the ranch his own age, he often spoke with a tone and strength that led others to mistake him for someone ten to twenty years older. She wondered where that came from. As soon as the opportunity presented itself, she was going to ask.
And if it was as interesting as she was guessing it was, maybe she'd write it down.
His truck came into view, parked next to her car. She rounded the back of it as he was settling down in his 'spot' with the cooler already open.
Ryan hopped up on the tailgate and joined him in beer and sandwiches as she told him all about her day. She took all of the confused thoughts and worked them out through conversation, getting her head settled.
They discussed the upcoming race and what time they had to leave for Louisville tomorrow. Jesse told her to pack light but to bring her camera.
Then she went home where she began a new story. A secret story.
A romance.
seven
“Fall in love, get your heart broken. A broken heart is evidence that you've lived.”
Louisville, Kentucky
Churchill Downs
Iroquois
September
Ryan,
I've attached my notes to your short story. Well done. Truly. I was moved and I'm not an easily moved man.
Do you have anything more for me to read? Also, have you thought on a pen name?
My best,
Triston
Ryan clicked on the attachment and read though Triston's notes.
Triston Thomas had critiqued her short story. She was trying not to cry with fandom as she nodded along with his observations and suggestions.
“He's such a fucking genius,” she whispered, her fingertips touching her lips.
Loud voices outside of her motel room door startled her. “Crap.” She closed the lid of her laptop and ran to the bathroom.
It was race day.
Four weeks under Jesse and Doc's care. Faramir's Fire was about to show the world what he could really do. And possibly change all of their lives.
Well, not Ryan's life. But the people around her. They were going to shoot to super stardom in a matter of hours.
She had no doubts that Red was going to blow away the competition. She'd been monitoring his health with Doc, watching Jesse work him out on the track, knew his new jockey, Eddie... They totally had this.
The bulk of the week had been positive for Ryan. Doc had agreed with Jesse in having Ryan accompany the team to Churchill Downs for Red's big race — the Iroquois.
No one was saying it, but it was common knowledge that the Iroquois was the first race on the Road to the Kentucky Derby. Based on a points system, horses that finished in the top four in the thirty-five or so races on the list would potentially be qualified to run the coveted Derby race in May. That didn't mean a horse had to run every single race on the list. They just had to have accumulated enough points from the qualifying races on the list in order to be eligible for the Kentucky Derby.
Faramir's Fire had been written off as a colossal disappointment. He wasn't favored to even place in this race. But the buzz around the track that week had said that everyone was watching anyway.
If Jesse Hart turned a losing race horse into a strong contender on the Road to the Derby, his whole life would be different.
Another positive for Ryan was the travel in general. She had made a promise to her mom to get out and follow her dream, but hadn't made any real plans to go anywhere. This was a good first step. Sure, it was technically for work. But baby steps, right?
She'd been able to bring her laptop and was writing pretty steadily all night long. Nothing she was ready to show anyone, but she was having fun with it. It was like a stopper had been pulled and the words were flowing constantly now.
Jeremiah wasn't the happiest to hear that she was on the road with Jesse Hart. Their fight had managed to continue into every telephone conversation. Although calling it a fight might be an exaggeration. Mostly Jeremiah would get moody and quiet and eventually the conversation would drop off and Ryan would bid him goodnight. She planned on resolving it when he came back to town. Which wouldn't be for a couple of weeks.
One negative this week was that she'd had to go buy new pants before she left town. None of her jeans fit. At all. Again she was thinking it was the beer, and every night she'd resolve to not have one the next day. But then Jesse would hand one over and she'd have it halfway drained before she remembered her previous resolution.
Also, she was on her third chocolate cake. She'd actually brought it along in her own cooler.
The weight gain bothered her. But mostly because it seemed to happen rather quickly, which had her thinking it might be more than beer and cake.
Upon that thought, she pushed the rest out of her mind and moved onto the next thing. Because she was really tired of doctors and hospitals and tests that only gave more questions than answers.
She'd figure out whatever it was eventually.
But today was race day.
***
“And they're off! Pleasant Perfection breaking first and setting the pace for the pack. Gatlin Blue, Heavy Hank, and Risky Day going three wide for second place. Darned Ol' Mary making her move on the inside. Faramir's Fire in sixth and dropping back. No surprise there, folks.
“Heavy Hank on the outside, gaining on Pleasant Perfection. Risky Day sees a hole!”
Ryan tightened her hands into fists as she stood on her toes, her breath frozen in her chest, her eyes on the green and black silks of Eddie and Red.
A hush fell over the crowd that was so unexpected, the announcer overcompensated by shouting even more loudly. “Faramir's Fire is waaay outside in fifth place and making a wild attempt to o
vertake the leaders. He's in fourth, third, second! As they round the backstretch, Faramir's Fire is neck and neck with Risky Day! And he's past Risky Day! Faramir's Fire is in first! Two lengths behind him is Risky Day, Gatlin Blue in third, Heavy Hank in fourth!”
***
Jesse had had horses win big races before. He wouldn't be working for one of the most successful owners in the industry if that wasn't the case. His résumé was light on years and heavy on worth.
But this race was one that had had him not sleeping.
This one was the one that could change everything.
And it looked like it would.
The moment Faramir's Fire crossed the finish line with a lead of eleven lengths on the rest of the pack, he knew nothing was going to ever be the same.
Mostly because now the media was clamoring for a statement, other owners were murmuring their lucrative job offers, and Caleb Zacherson was actually smiling.
Jesse posed for the photos, smiled for the press, gave his ambiguous statements and left Caleb to confirm what everyone was already suspecting — Faramir's Fire was indeed on the Road to the Derby. Making him the star of the racing world, the Comeback Kid, the Underestimated Champion.
Or as his favorite person liked to call him — Red.
Jesse found Ryan in the stall, talking to Red in a soft voice, telling him how proud she was and what a perfect race it had been.
Jesse and Doc would get the credit for Red's win today. But they both knew it was Ryan's sweet touch and gentle voice that had helped Red find the fighter inside of himself again.
She wasn't even aware of the gift she possessed with such a beast. She thought she was just doing her best at the job that had been appointed to her. But she was more wild animal than girl. Her heart belonged among them, and even if she didn't realize it — they did.
Red huffed contentedly, preening in her affection, soaking up her praise. He used his massive head to pull her by the shoulder into his chest as she rubbed his neck.
“Such a champion,” she said. “I'm not even surprised, you know. I knew you had it in you.”
Stubborn Hearts Page 6
