Jesse's chest compressed and burned. The days they'd spent together recently were also doing a number on him, not just the horse. Her attentions, even in their cautious and harnessed state, awakened something in him that he thought was broken for good.
It was probably made more noticeable simply because she had no idea she was doing it. She existed, he observed.
And they were both changed.
“You hungry?” he asked.
Ryan slowly turned her head his direction, her smile arriving just before her eyes. He held his breath as she detached herself from the big horse and walked slowly to him at the stall door. Her half-smile, coupled with her dark eyes that spun with swirls of gold in the light of the setting sun, held him frozen in time and space.
“You did it,” she said decidedly. “You did the impossible.”
Jesse couldn't stop his answering grin and protestation. “Not reall —”
“You shut up, Jesse Sullivan Hart, and let me compliment you.”
Jesse's shocked laughter caused Ryan's smile to widen. “How in the world did you find out my full name?”
She shrugged. “It was on your paperwork that got left in Doc's office one day. I've been holding onto it for a while.” She opened the stall door and let herself out, George, Red's groom, smiled at her shyly and took over. Jesse fought back his desire to snag her around the neck with his elbow and pull her into his side. The compulsion to touch her in that moment was so strong, he sobered immediately.
She noticed. Her head tilted to the side, her brow furrowed.
“C'mon, it's eatin' time and Doc doesn't like to wait.”
***
Ryan tried to focus on her glass of water as the words coming at her increased in cadence and excitement. Doc was on a roll.
And apparently so was she.
“It comes with full pay and you'll still get the credit you need for the internship. I've been in contact with the admissions person at UNF. This will actually set you ahead of your classmates.” Doc took another huge bite of his steak.
Ryan's eyes slid over to Jesse, who was watching her cautiously. By his initial reaction, she assumed he had no idea that this would be happening either, but he was otherwise hard to read at the moment.
“What do you think, Jesse?” she asked while Doc was distracted by his meal.
Jesse's eyebrows lifted slightly and his lips twitched. “It was kind of my idea.”
A wave rolled through Ryan's stomach. Her eyes dropped to her glass of water again and she thought maybe she should take a sip. But her hands remained where they were — one clutching her fork, the other fisting in her napkin.
Eight months on the road, give or take. Not counting the weeks where the races hit the Downs and Doc would take over and she'd have a break.
“You're asking me to be the on road vet for the biggest earner in the entire stable. I don't have the qualifications. What if something happens while we're out there?” she asked, very reasonably.
Doc nodded like he was taking her seriously, but she was afraid it wasn't enough.
“Ryan, you have a brilliant mind. You always get to the same conclusion as I would, you just do it faster.” Doc rested his hands on the table and his eyes softened. “I'm proud of you, girl. I wouldn't risk this horse with a novice. You and Jesse work well together, you have youth on your side. Even cranky Caleb agreed with my recommendation. The only one who has any doubts is you.”
“I happen to be very egalitarian in my method of self-doubt,” she responded flatly.
Jesse chuckled and Doc grinned.
“Which is why we trust you. You're not gonna oversell yourself and you don't have enough arrogance not to ask for help with something you don't understand. I'll always be a phone call away, and I can use the company jet to get to you on a moment's notice.”
“Will —” Ryan blinked hard and cleared her throat. “Will we be driving or —”
“No, we'll mostly fly. It's easier on the horses. We'll be using a transport company that I've had a lot of experience with. They use the big transports with air suspension for driving between the airports and the tracks. A couple of grooms ride with the horses the whole time. You and I will have to fly commercial.” Jesse's expression remained composed, his eyes locked to hers.
“That's a lot of travel,” she stated the obvious.
“It's the Road,” he replied, his brows tilting almost imperceptibly.
She got it.
This was huge for Jesse. They hadn't discussed it at all, but it was right there in his silent eyes.
This was his first Road to the Derby. And with a horse like Red... he was sure to win.
For whatever reason, he wanted her there with him.
A weight shifted inside, their friendship no longer felt one sided. She wasn't the one who needed. At least, not by herself.
They both needed.
She decided not to highlight this, though. Lifting a single eyebrow she finally picked up her glass of water.
“To the Road,” she said, lifting her glass.
Jesse grinned widely and he and Doc joined her in the toast.
As she took a sip, she wondered belatedly how Jeremiah would react to this new addition to her job requirements. Or if her being out of town would be an issue with the legal stuff.
And if this counted as fulfilling her promise to her mom.
eight
“Then fall in love with someone worthy. Someone who sees the secret parts of you; to the heart of you.”
Churchill Downs
Louisville, Kentucky
“What the hell, Ryan?”
Ryan frowned hard at the curling wallpaper across from her. She took a breath in through her nose and let it out slowly.
“Are you mad?” she asked unnecessarily. He obviously was mad. Which was stupid. She should be the one who was mad, he hadn't called her in four days, but she'd decided to let that go and move on.
“Yes, I'm mad!” Jeremiah confirmed loudly. “Did you even think to talk to me about this before you agreed to this insane job?”
“Why would I talk to you about it? And when? When you were busy not answering your phone for four days?” she asked. That probably wasn't the best question at this juncture, she surmised belatedly.
“Holy shit, are you serious?” Jeremiah didn't go for the sarcasm too often, and Ryan's face twisted with disgust. She was glad they were having this conversation over the phone. Her facial reactions tended to make things worse.
“Miah, calm down,” she said flatly. “That's not what I meant.”
“Really? Calm down?” Oh, he was really pissed. “You know I don't like you spending time with Hart. You know it. Then you insult me by taking a job that will take you away from me for almost a year without even telling me! You won't move in with me, the guy you're going to marry and let me take care of you. But you'll go on the road with a douchebag that I. Do. Not. Trust.”
“This is for my job!” Ryan finally lost her own temper and yelled right back. “You knew this was a possibility for the future! And you're one to talk! You're gone all of the time!”
“I knew you were going to throw that in my face,” Jeremiah growled. “I knew it was too much to believe you when you said you didn't mind it.”
Ryan pressed her fingers to her forehead as her heart thundered in agitation. “I'm not throwing it in your face. I'm pointing out your double standard. Why can't you support me the way I support you?”
“Are you joking? You really think I'm going to support you spending more time with that asshole who just wants to get in your pants?!”
Ryan's hand came down in a fist on her knee. “It's not like that! I have told you this before! You have to trust me!”
“Right.”
Ryan sucked in a shallow breath at his singular word.
“Miah,” she said softly, hoping to get him to listen to reason. “This is a big deal for me.”
The line was quiet for a long time. Ryan pulled the phone away
from her ear to see if they were still connected.
“I'll just talk to you when you get back,” he ground out finally.
“Okay,” she said, not liking it but not really having a choice. He was already mad, she didn't want to push it and make it worse.
She clutched her phone in her lap long after he'd disconnected and went back to staring at the peeling wallpaper again.
The motel they were staying in wasn't terrible. It was clean and as maintained as well as it could be for the age it was. Small, but that didn't bother Ryan. It was close to the track and that was all that mattered.
Caleb had suggested that she stay in a nicer hotel further towards the city center, but Ryan learned that the jockeys, grooms, trainers, and other vets stayed in the stables, or in the trailers. Or, at the very least, in a motel nearby. She didn't want any exceptions made for her simply because she was a woman, the owner's biological daughter, and inexperienced.
The best way to learn from the best was to imitate the best.
If Jesse was going to stay in the stable, then so would Ryan.
She was fairly certain Jesse had figured that out and that's why he was staying in the tiny motel as well. She was okay with that. She didn't require a lot of amenities to make her comfortable. But a locking door was sort of high on her list. It fell under the umbrella of that whole “doesn't like to be touched” thing.
Still.
If the time came for her to have to stay in an empty stall beside the big red giant, then she would do it. She would just be armed with a cache of pepper spray.
The wall with the peeling paper knocked, startling her.
“Hey.”
She huffed a breath that sent her bangs fluttering.
The clean, cheap motel had paper thin walls. No doubt Jesse had heard the entire fight.
“Yeah?” she asked, resigned to having her friend know more about her life than she was comfortable discussing at the moment.
“I have pizza and beer. And Die Hard is on TV.”
Her lips tilted in a half-smile. She stood up and grabbed her room key, deciding that pizza and beer sounded insanely good at the moment.
Jesse's door was open and she let herself in. His room was exactly like hers, which meant that his back had been pressed against the headboard that was touching the wall she had been staring at during her fight with Jeremiah. Doubtful he missed any of it.
She swallowed and waited for him to ask if she was okay, or if she wanted to talk about it. She didn't.
Jesse gestured for her to sit on the other queen bed where a second pizza box sat. A six pack of what she'd figured out was his favorite beer rested on the nightstand in between the beds.
“I have an all meat something or other over here,” he motioned to the slice he was eating. “The one over there is a supreme.”
“Two pizzas?” she asked, arching an eyebrow as she kicked off her shoes and jumped up onto the bed, glad for his disinterest in her personal life.
“Well, I can eat a whole one, and I figured you'd wanna eat too.” He nodded at the TV. “And Die Hard is just awesome.”
“Die Hard is awesome,” she agreed, flipping the lid open on the box. Suddenly aware of the hole that had opened up right through the middle of her.
“Help yourself to a beverage. I have another six-pack in the cooler.”
“Sweet,” she muttered, backing against the headboard and getting cozy, hot slice of pizza in one hand.
They were still in Louisville, four days after Red had had his first victory. They'd be leaving shortly for Belmont Park in New York. But Jesse wanted Red to rest a little bit before making him travel.
Ryan had explored the historical track and its surrounding area until she knew it as well as the Derby Museum tour guides. She took pictures, notes, envisioned what it would look like with the infield full and a sea of crazy hats on Derby Day.
And she'd been writing. Furiously writing. Any free time she had, she was hunched over her laptop, pounding out another silly story. Something about being surrounded by so much passion filled history, dreams of legends, records of champions — it was inspiring.
“Do you want to get in my pants?” she asked Jesse, her mouth full, eyes pointed to Bruce Willis.
“Nope,” he replied, mouth just as full.
“Cool.” She nodded, knowing that was going to be his answer but happy to have it confirmed. If only she could have recorded that moment and shown it Jeremiah.
“I wouldn't mind getting in your head, though,” he added before he took a long pull of his beer and belched.
“Nah, it's a mess in there. You'd get lost.”
“Still don't trust me, huh?” he asked with a chuckle.
“I trust you,” she argued quickly even as her stomach tightened because she knew she trusted him. But only she knew how much.
***
Belmont Park
Elmont, New York
“How did Caleb even get Red registered in time?” Ryan asked, her eyes trained on the documents in her hands, her short legs struggling to keep up with Jesse's long strides.
“Just did,” Jesse replied tightly. Her head came up and she studied him.
“You're not telling me the whole truth.”
It wasn't a question, or even a guess. It was a statement. She'd been making them all week. The downside to spending so much quality time with Ryan was her increased ability to read his mind.
It was a two way street on that one actually. He was getting pretty good at reading hers, too. But when it came to shit like this, he wasn't exactly pleased that she could look right through him. Especially when he needed to be able to explain things to her and knew he wouldn't have the time it would require.
It had only been nine days since Red's last race and he already had another one in twelve more. That was the main reason behind Jesse's stress level. It was fast. He'd wanted to wait a whole month for another big push, but Caleb had signed up for these races long before they knew whether or not Red would be able to race.
Long before Red was even theirs.
He should have told Ryan this weeks ago, but at the time it didn't seem to matter. He hadn't foreseen this girl becoming his shadow on the Road.
But he wouldn't change it.
If he was going to do this, he wanted to do it with someone he trusted to have his back and Red's best interests at heart.
She was going to be crazy pissed at him once he finally had a chance to tell her the whole story.
The pounding against the old wooden stall made his gut clench. He slowed his pace as they drew closer to Red's holding cell. Maybe he shouldn't be thinking of it like that, but he couldn't help it. The poor beast had been moved away from the other horses to one of the older stalls. His agitation was affecting the other racers. They'd even had to blindfold him to get him moved. It had helped, but only marginally.
Jesse and Ryan had been updated by George as soon as their flight landed and they'd gone straight to the stables. He wasn't even sure what had become of their luggage. All he knew was that his horse needed him, and he went straight there.
Ryan had been stewing the entire flight as she did her research. She'd even snagged a copy of Red's racing documents out of the registration office when they arrived. That's what she'd been paging through, muttering about how Red needed more time to rest.
Jesse stopped and rested his hands on his hips as he focused on calming his heart rate. If Red had sensed them approach, he didn't show it, but continued to kick his box and pace about angrily.
“It's too soon,” Ryan muttered at his shoulder.
She wasn't wrong.
Red had been training as usual in Churchill up until he had been flown to New York so they would have enough time to train before the next race. Normally, that wouldn't be a big deal.
But Jesse and Ryan's flight had gotten delayed. More than once. They hadn't been able to join the horse and check his vitals and provisions until now — more than 24 hours away from their care. By
then, the horse was nearly out of his mind.
Jesse's gut told him something else was at work here. Not just the absence of him and Ryan, because Red still had his grooms and his jockey.
Jesse suspected foul play. Not that he was willing to state it out loud. Of course, with the way Ryan was reading his mind, he wouldn't be surprised if she said it.
“It's an important track, Caleb wanted to make sure he had a chance at running it. He's not expected to place. It's a practice run.” He kept his voice lowered, taking two steps towards the stall. “I hate this track.”
He felt Ryan's eyes on him and knew that confession was going to bite him in the ass later.
Red heard him, his huffing stopped and his head came over the stall door, his nostrils flaring and trying to pull in Jesse's scent.
“Oh, sweetie,” Ryan said upon seeing the horse. She didn't wait for permission or instruction. She went to the large animal, her delicate hands unhooking the blindfold and removing it. She unlatched the stall door and went inside where Jesse joined her. At least they had given him a full box, he observed.
“I need to test his food and his urine,” Ryan said glancing around at their surroundings. “Do you think they have someplace private where I can do that?”
Jesse's mouth hardened into a thin line and his voice dropped to just above a whisper. “Can you test it from your motel room?”
Ryan's dark eyes flared slightly, but she closed her mouth and nodded. She stroked the muscular neck beside her, the horse relatively calm now. “What about...?” She tilted her head towards Red.
Jesse stepped closer to her and lifted a hand to rest along the soft forelock, conveniently blocking his mouth from any casual passerby. He locked eyes with Ryan.
“From now until we leave, one of us is with him at all times. I'll sleep in the bay beside him. You get your samples and don't let anyone else even see them.”
Ryan's breathing quickened and Jesse's eyes dropped to the flutter of pulse at her neck.
“What's going on here, Jesse?” she whispered cautiously.
Stubborn Hearts Page 7
