Cozy Mysteries Women Sleuths Series: Box Set III: Books 9-12

by Hope Callaghan

  She hadn’t heard of Ernie committing any crimes. He was mostly harmless, except for the time he broke a bar patron’s leg with a baseball bat because the man claimed Ernie was watering down the tap beer.

  There was also the time, not long ago, when Ernie caught his on-again, off-again girlfriend, Lutrelle Quinn, making out with the health inspector out behind the bar.

  She claimed the inspector was about to write Clink and Drink up for a minor infraction and she was trying to “sway” the inspector to toss the report.

  Either way, Ernie was madder than a wet hornet and proceeded to pour hot fryer oil on the hood of the inspector’s state issued vehicle. Ernie’s impulsive actions caused him to be on the receiving end of a hefty violation fine.

  The inspector never returned, and Ernie and Lutrelle parted ways for a good month. It didn’t last long. Soon, Lutrelle was a fixture at the bar once again, although not so much these days since Ernie seemed to have a fixation for Savannah.

  Lacy looked Savannah up and down. “It might help. Let’s go.” She grabbed the door handle and stepped outside.

  Savannah followed Lacy and Loretta trailed behind.

  It was a quick walk to town and Loretta slowed her steps as they passed by the dark library. It was such a shame the poor woman had died. The police still hadn’t said what had caused Molly’s untimely death.

  If the blood on the library book had been Molly’s, then it had been a traumatic death for sure. The thought of the bloody print caused Loretta to shiver violently. A killer was in their midst. What had been the killer’s motive? Would they strike again?

  Loretta heard Clink and Drink before she saw it as the moan of a lonesome country song penetrated the small windows located near the top of the building.

  The smell of stale cigarette smoke escaped through the crack in the front door and Loretta wrinkled her nose. “Gross.”

  “This shouldn’t take long.” Lacy grabbed the door handle and yanked it open. She held the door for Savannah and Loretta, and followed them in. The trio hovered near the side as they looked around.

  In the far right corner were two men wearing baseball caps, shooting a game of pool. Loretta shifted her gaze. On the other side of the pool table was an empty dance floor and in front of the dance floor, a raised platform where Loretta guessed the local band played on weekends.

  She had only visited the bar a handful of times and only when absolutely necessary…like today.

  “I see Ernie.” Savannah headed along the bar area and toward the far end where Ernie Sapp sat nursing a beer.

  “Hi Ernie,” Savannah said.

  Ernie spun around, his frown slowly turning to a lecherous grin as he eyed Savannah. “Hello beautiful.” He quickly whipped off his ball cap and smoothed his hair. “You look lovely today. Did you get the flowers I sent yesterday? I heard yellow daffodils are your favorite.”

  Savannah lifted a hand and cut Ernie off. “The flowers are lovely but I’m not interested,” she said bluntly. “We’re here,” she waved her hand at Lacy and Loretta, “to find out what we can about Molly Crisco, specifically who she was dating just before her death.”

  Ernie scratched his forehead and then rubbed his uneven beard. “You are – are you? How does it feel to want?” he sneered.

  Lacy elbowed her way past Savannah and leaned in so she was looking directly into Ernie’s eyes. “You either tell us what you know or I’m gonna tell your girlfriend, Lutrelle, that I spotted your hearse parked in front of Grace Woodyard’s trailer last night,” she threatened.

  There must have been some truth to Lacy’s threat because Ernie’s demeanor changed in the blink of an eye. “No need to be sticking your nose in where it doesn’t belong Ms. Busybody. Sides, I was just giving Grace a ride home on account of her feeling a little tipsy and I was making sure she made it home safely.”

  Loretta snorted. Ernie Sapp was one of the worst drivers in all of Misery, and possibly all of Collier County. The town’s big joke was that it was a good thing Ernie drove a hearse. He wouldn’t have far to go after he killed himself with his reckless driving.

  Ernie gave Loretta a dark look and she clamped her mouth shut. If she wanted Ernie to spill the beans, she needed to keep quiet, so she let Lacy do the talking, which may not have been much better.

  “Tell us what you know,” Lacy prompted.

  Ernie patted the gleaming wood bar top. “This is a paid establishment. Maybe if you ordered something to support my business, I’d be willing to talk.”

  “Fine.” Lacy rolled her eyes. “Three sweet teas please.”

  The bartender, who was standing nearby listening to the exchange, nodded and grabbed three frosted glasses from the freezer.

  “So whatcha’ got?” Lacy asked.

  Ernie took his sweet old time as he sipped his beer, slowly set it on the bar and spun the handle. “Well, as luck would have it, after I dropped Grace off at her place last night, I decided to take a little spin around town. I spotted Molly’s red scooter parked near the front porch of Frank Baxter’s house. It was kinda hidden in the bushes so I had to slow down to make sure, but I’m almost one hundred percent certain it was hers.”

  Chapter 5

  Loretta’s mouth fell open. “You mean Chief of Police, Frank Baxter?”

  “Yep.” Ernie nodded, lifted his beer and took another sip. “I thought Molly was shacking up with Bo Theroux in his trailer out on the edge of town but maybe not.”

  Loretta’s head was spinning. Frank Baxter’s wife had recently been charged with the death of another Misery resident. She was an evil woman and Loretta had not liked her from the moment she had met her.

  Rumor had it she had cheated on her husband but they were trying to work things out. Perhaps it had worked both ways. Caroline Baxter had cheated on Frank and Frank, tit for tat, decided to turn the tables.

  Loretta was still trying to absorb what Ernie had said when he dropped another bomb. “That Frank, he’s quite the player. First Vernice LaConte is keepin’ ole Frank company and then Molly. Whew! He has more energy than I do.”

  Ernie jerked his gaze and stared at Savannah. “I mean…I have a lot of stamina. Why, I could probably run circles around Frank in the bedroom,” he leered.

  Savannah rolled her eyes. “Please! Save your stamina for Lutrelle!”

  Ernie frowned but kept talking. “Well, Bo. He was none too happy when he saw Molly’s scooter out at Frank’s place and came in here last night fit to be tied. After a few Jack and Cokes, he calmed down and swore he was through with Molly.”

  Ernie leaned back on the barstool. “There are plenty of fish in the sea I told him. No sense in wastin’ his time on the likes of Molly Crisco.”

  Loretta took a step back. Molly was seeing Chief of Police Baxter. She was also seeing Bo Theroux. Vernice LaConte was seeing Chief of Police Baxter. The list of suspects was growing by leaps and bounds. Frank Baxter, Vernice, Bo Theroux.

  Ernie eyed Lacy. “I heard you had a little cat fight with the deceased yourself.”

  Lacy’s eyes widened. “Me? Why I…”

  “Don’t deny it.” Ernie cut Lacy off. “Lutrelle said Molly was hot after your stud muffin, Colton Sheffield, and she saw you and Molly shoving each other out in front of the fire station late yesterday afternoon.”

  Lacy crossed her arms and frowned. “Lutrelle is nothing but a motor mouth and needs to mind her own business.”

  Loretta had yet to meet Lacy’s new love interest, Colton Sheffield, but if all these women were chasing after him, he must be something else. She made a mental note to ask Lacy to take her by the fire station to meet the new boyfriend. “That doesn’t make Lacy the killer.”

  “Doesn’t mean she isn’t, either,” Ernie said. He shrugged. “The fact that Molly was clutching your headband and you two were seen arguing out front of the fire station should make you suspect.”

  It was true, and soon the police would be hauling Lacy down to the police station for questioning.

&
nbsp; Ernie leaned over and leered at Savannah, who stood quietly listening. “How ‘bout you let me take you down to Sunset Cove for dinner tonight and we can feast on oysters, God’s aphrodisiac?”

  Savannah curled her upper lip and took a step back. “Over my dead body,” she said bluntly and turned to Loretta. “I think it’s time to go.”

  Loretta couldn’t agree more. “Thanks for the tidbits of info Ernie. I appreciate your time.” She pulled a five and a couple ones from her purse and placed them on the counter to cover the cost of the sweet teas and the girls headed out the door.

  Lacy waited for the door to shut before speaking. “Someone needs to sew Lutrelle Quinn’s mouth shut. The woman has no idea how aggravating stupid Molly Crisco was.”

  “Spill it, Lacy,” Loretta said.

  Lacy sucked in a deep breath. “O-kay!” She explained how she had made a batch of slice and bake chocolate chip cookies yesterday, and then took them down to the fire station, knowing her beloved, Colton, was working a 24-hour shift.

  When she arrived at the fire station, she found Molly Crisco inside, wearing leopard print, skintight pants and a cleavage revealing fire engine red silk blouse. She was fawning all over the men at the fire station and Colton in particular.

  Lacy was enraged. She dragged Molly out of the fire station and proceeded to tell her in no uncertain terms that Colton was off limits. Molly laughed in her face and told her it only made her want to “hook” Colton even more.

  Lacy claimed Molly shoved her first and told her to mind her own business, which angered Lacy. She shoved her back and the two brawled. Sometime during the melee, Lacy’s headband fell out and she didn’t realize it was missing until later.

  She couldn’t find another and her hair was messed up from the altercation so she borrowed Loretta’s headband. “That’s the honest to God truth,” Lacy finished. “It was also the last time I set eyes on Molly Crisco.”

  Loretta mulled over Lacy’s confession as they made their way back to the house. It was only a matter of time before police the showed up on the doorstep looking for Lacy. She only hoped it wouldn’t be Officer Phil Gatlin, who had a thing for Lacy in the past. Lately Lacy had been avoiding him like the plague, ever since she had become fixated with the firefighter.

  The women passed by the First Baptist Church of Misery and Loretta noticed the front door was ajar. She slowed when they reached the front of the church. “I think I’ll stop in here for a few moments. You two go on ahead.”

  She didn’t wait for an answer as she made her way down the sidewalk, onto the covered stoop and lightly pushed on the entrance door. “Hello?”

  The interior was dark and quiet. Loretta knew Pastor Jessup was somewhere nearby and she didn’t want to bother him.

  She tiptoed down the center aisle and settled into a pew near the front. Uncle Ichabod and she occupied the pew every Sunday morning.

  A glimmer of light beamed through the side stained glass window and lit the altar front and center. It was as if the finger of God was touching the cross. A lump formed in Loretta’s throat at the sight.

  Loretta squeezed her eyes shut. Get a grip.

  Lately, she’d been down on the dumps and wasn’t sure why. She should feel just the opposite. Loretta loved living in Misery. She loved her job, renting teepees at Take Two Teepee Rental and all of the wonderful people she’d met.

  Loretta had her friends and even Lacy wasn’t such a pain in the rear these days. She should be thankful…and she was, but something was sinking her spirit.

  She had volunteered to help at the library, hoping it would give her a sense of purpose. The only thing it had given her was a new set of problems, namely Molly Crisco’s sudden death.

  Maybe it was because she was now 30-something and no closer to settling down and having a family and children than she had been ten years ago. She thought of Pastor Jessup. They had gone on a couple dates and sparks had flown, but she wasn’t sure she was “good” enough to marry a man of the cloth.

  It was as if she felt like the other shoe would drop, his eyes would open and he would see her for the person she was – and that person wasn’t particularly saintly.

  All of the pastor’s wives she had ever met seemed so “good” and, in comparison, she would never measure up. The relationship hadn’t gotten serious and the “m” word had never been mentioned.

  Still, she tried to protect herself and not become too attached, believing it wasn’t going to end well and her heart would end up broken.

  “Beautiful, isn’t it?” Pastor Jessup’s voice echoed from the back of the sanctuary and Loretta turned to look behind her.

  He pointed at the ray of light illuminating the cross.

  Loretta shifted her gaze. “Yes, Pastor Jessup, it is. I never noticed it before. Of course, I’m never usually in the church this time of the day.”

  “Alex when we’re alone.” Pastor Jessup walked to the front and settled in next to Loretta. “Perhaps you should stop by more often.”

  Loretta’s face warmed. Was that an open invitation? “Maybe I should.” She smiled.

  “Heard they found Molly Crisco’s body in the bushes behind the library,” Alex said. “The gossip mill is in high gear ‘round here and it seems once again, you and your sister are right in the thick of it.”

  Loretta rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I can’t believe it. Here I am trying to help out at the library and next thing I know, the police are hauling me down to the station for questioning.”

  “Molly had an unsavory reputation.” Alex said. “She was a troubled woman. I tried to counsel her a few times and for a while she seemed to be turning over a new leaf but it looks like she fell back into her old habits.”

  “Even if she was running around with half the men in Misery, that’s no reason to kill her,” Loretta said.

  “Jealousy is a strong emotion.” He shrugged. “Course I talked to Molly not long ago and I’m wondering if her death had something to do with the fact she’d recently inherited a whole pile of money.”

  Chapter 6

  “You’re kidding,” Loretta blinked rapidly. The tidbit of information put the whole situation in a brand new light. Perhaps the motive for her murder hadn’t been jealousy but money. “How much money?”’

  Alex shrugged. “She didn’t give me a dollar figure but said it would be enough to live comfortably for the rest of her life if she played her cards right. The thing that struck me as odd was she seemed nervous about the inheritance and kept talking about moving away from Misery and starting over.”

  Alex patted Loretta’s knee. “Now I shouldn’t be gossiping about poor Molly.” He changed the subject. “I hear the library is closed until they finish the investigation.”

  Loretta nodded. “Yeah. I’m thinking Iris Huggins isn’t going to be too keen on having me return so I think my career at the library was short-lived.”

  She went on. “It’s okay. I’ve been tossing around the idea of having a cookout and pool party for the Breezy Point residents as well as the teepee rental guests as a kind of thank you.”

  He nodded. “Sounds good. That ought to keep you out of trouble.”

  Loretta rose to her feet and Alex walked her to the door.

  Loretta stepped over the threshold and turned back. “Do you have any idea where Molly’s inheritance came from?”

  Alex shrugged. “No. I hinted around trying to find out but she wasn’t about to spill the beans. The only thing she said was she couldn’t believe someone who wasn’t even family would leave her that kind of money.”

  He gave Loretta a quick hug and pulled back. “Now don’t you try to solve this one, Loretta. There’s a killer out there on the loose and I’m sure he or she wouldn’t hesitate to kill again.”

  Loretta nodded. “I’ll try,” was all she could commit to. The case had taken an interesting turn and she was dying to figure out where the inheritance had come from.

  ***

  “What are you doing?” Lac
y stalked into the kitchen and traipsed to the refrigerator, eyeing Loretta as she opened the refrigerator door.

  “Trying to figure out who died in the last couple of months, leaving behind a pile of money,” Loretta replied, her eyes never leaving the computer screen.

  Lacy pulled out the carton of milk, unscrewed the cap, tipped her head back and chugged.

  Loretta caught a glimpse of her sister’s reflection in the computer monitor. “That is so gross, Lacy. Why don’t you use a glass instead?”

  Lacy swiped her mouth with the back of her hand and screwed the cap back on. “What do you have…eyes in the back of your head or something?”

  She shoved the milk container on the shelf and slammed the refrigerator door. “It’s not like you drink it anyway.”

  “Uncle Ichabod drinks milk,” her sister pointed out.

  “So let him use a glass,” Lacy said. “Why are you looking for rich dead people?”

  Loretta turned in the chair, giving her sister her full attention. “Because sources tell me Molly inherited a large sum of money not long before she died and was considering moving away from Misery.”

  “Remind me to never tell Pastor Jessup anything personal,” Lacy said. “Aren’t clergymen sworn to secrecy or something like that?”

  “I didn’t say Pastor Jessup told me,” Loretta argued.

  “You didn’t have to.” Lacy dragged a chair from the kitchen table and settled in next to Loretta. “You think the police are coming by to question me?”

  Loretta nodded. “Any time now, I would suspect.” She finished scrolling through the local obituaries and closed the search screen. “I have three possible leads. Now all I have to do is find another person who is well-acquainted with the residents of Misery.”

  There was only one person Loretta could think of, who knew the residents of the town and that was her friend, Fancy Gabardine. “I’m going to head down to the Corner Café for a bite to eat. You wanna go with?”