Fractured Hearts (Shattered Lives, Book Three)

by Blakeley, Rissa

  “Not now,” I whimpered.

  Drinks on me, Liam.

  I swallowed hard, needing to focus.

  Not going to help.

  “Shut up,” I growled.

  The door to my room opened and Thomas stepped out. He watched my anguish before he asked, “Are you all righ’?” He must have heard me talking to myself.

  I wiped my face on my sleeve. “Yeah. I just need a minute. It’s been a really rough fucking day.”

  My thoughts flickered to Sophie’s cross, then having to make Nick true dead. Then, to top it off, pissing Elaina off when we were on an upswing for a change. I felt like such a fuck up.

  I was a fuck up.

  “I will leave you alone then.” Thomas turned around to go to his room.

  “Thomas,” I croaked. He glanced over his shoulder. “Thank you.”

  Confused, he turned around. “For wha’?”

  “For having the courage to say what you feel. That means a lot.”

  He offered his hand to me. I accepted and, surprisingly, Thomas pulled me to my feet. In turn, I patted him on the shoulder. “She’ll come ’round.”

  “I just have so much shame for what I’ve done. So much anger at myself,” I growled, my fists clenched at my sides. Again, the laugh chimed in from the back of my mind. “I can’t get rid of this fucking craving for a drink.” My hands shook as I brought them up to wipe my brow.

  “You’ll get through this wit’ strength. It’ll take some time. You should try to find an out for the cravin’. Maybe the gym or somethin’.”

  I wondered why I hadn’t thought of that before. I had a newfound respect for Thomas, the scrawny kid that he was. “How did you become so wise, mate?”

  “You,” he murmured.

  I was a little stunned. “Me?” I am a wreck. How can anyone find me inspiring?

  “Yeah. I’ve learned a lot from you. Although, I was a little lost while you were drunk for months at a time.”

  I looked away from him. “I’m sorry for letting you down, mate. Seems to be a trend of mine.”

  “When you’re sober, you make a lot of sense. To me, at leas’. I think you lead us well. Someday, I hope to be a great leader like you.”

  “That means a lot to me. Thank you.” I was still a bit astounded at Thomas’ admission. “Want to come with me to talk with the others?”

  Thomas smiled, nodding. When we walked into the cafeteria, I was glad to see that Ben’s body was gone—I didn’t care where they took him. Thankfully, Nick’s blood was cleaned up, as well. In no uncertain terms would I be able to look at any of it for another second.

  Approaching Gunther, I murmured, “Thanks for getting that fuckface and the blood out of here. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t bear to see either one again.”

  “No problem, mate.” Gunther clapped me on the shoulder. I knew I looked worse for wear. The others focused their attention on me. “How’s Elaina doing? What are her thoughts about the situation?”

  “She’s a fucking wreck and is so mad at me right now for allowing them to stay. She feels like I’m going against her. I really could go for a drink right now,” I mumbled.

  “I can understand where she’s coming from.” I whipped my head around and glared at him. “Calm down and let me finish. They seem sincere with the fact that he was working on his own. You have to lead fairly, which can upset people. Unfortunately, it upset her.”

  “Thanks. I’m glad you understand what I’m doing because she doesn’t. I have no idea where we stand right now.”

  “How did the others take it?”

  “Fairly well. It took a few minutes to get Cora to understand everything, but I think she’s okay.” I refocused my attention on the others. “Listen up. There will be a few ground rules. If any of these are broken, you will be thrown out of here immediately with no regard for your safety. Honestly, right now, I couldn’t give two fucks about any of you.” Jane, Lauren, Eli, and Mara looked at one another. “You will not have any weapons, unless Gunther or I deem it necessary. You will not cause any problems for my people. They are my number one concern. You must be productive members of this community. There will be zero tolerance for lazy behavior. Any rules Gunther and I lay out will be followed, or you will be pushed out. Am I clear?”

  I stared down at the four of them, impatiently waiting for a response. I needed to get back to Elaina.

  “Yes,” Jane said. “We’ll abide by any of your rules.”

  “Consider yourselves lucky. I went against the most important person in my life to allow you to stay. Do not make me regret that decision.” I turned around to walk out, then stopped at the doorway. “And one more thing… Lay low for a while until Elaina begins to heal from this. The last thing she needs is to see any of your faces.”

  I stormed out of the cafeteria and headed back to my room with every hope that Elaina and I were okay. But my doubts were taking over. When I opened the door, she was curled up on the bed again.

  “She was sick two more times,” Quinn murmured into the darkness.

  With roughness, I replied, “Thank you for taking care of her.”

  There was a light knock on the door, and it cracked open just as I put my hand on the handle. “Is Quinn in here? I went to our room and she wasn’t there.” Gunther was trying to look past me as she came up next to me. “I’m in need. Can I get a couple vials?”

  “Yes. Of course.” She looked back over her shoulder. “Elaina, if you need anything or need to talk, all you need to do is come and get me.”

  Elaina nodded in her curled up state. I’m sure she was happy to get rid of everyone, including myself.

  Cora stood. “I think we’ll get going, as well. Come on, Si. Take Kate’s hand.”

  “Momma?” Silas asked.

  “Yes?”

  “Can I give Mr. Henry a hug?” Cora’s eyes flickered back and forth between me and Silas. “I just want to thank him. Please?”

  “Oh, Silas.” I smiled. “There is no need to thank me.”

  “Sure there is. You and Mr. Gunther keep us and Momma safe from the sick people. So thank you.”

  “You are very welcome, mate.”

  “Can I hug him, Momma? Can I?”

  “Yes, I guess so.” Cora wasn’t pleased, but Silas ran to me anyway. I knelt and he hugged me around my neck.

  “I feel safe with you and Mr. Gunther,” he whispered.

  I smiled again. “I feel safe knowing you are here with me. If it’s all right with your mum, and when you get a little older, Gunther and I can teach you self-defense.”

  “Really? Like being a ninja?”

  I laughed. “I suppose you can call it that. Now, off you go. I suspect your mum has some schoolwork for you to finish.”

  “Ugh,” Silas responded, stomping back to Cora as they left the room.

  I stood and turned to Elaina. “Love…”

  I walked toward her, but stopped dead in my tracks when she yelled, “Don’t you love me!”

  “Elaina…” I stepped closer.

  “You’ve made me so fucking angry, I could beat the shit out of you!”

  I held out my arms. “Then do it. I deserve it.”

  She stood and nearly took me up on my offer. But then my heart slammed into my chest when she mocked, “That’s really big of you, Luke…or is it Liam?”

  My arms dropped to my sides. “That was uncalled for,” I growled. I wanted to forget about Luke, my birth name, but I couldn’t. I wanted to tuck Liam, my programmed self, away in a pocket somewhere, only to be brought out when needed.

  “Was it, though? I find you allowing those fuckers to stay pretty uncalled for, as well!”

  “I can’t handle fighting with you right now,” I muttered, turned, and headed toward the door.

  Elaina stormed up behind me. “Don’t you walk away from me, asshole!”

  I stopped, my hand on the door handle. My body tensed and nostrils flared with every inhale. “I’m not walking away from you!”

>   “It sure as fuck looks that way. Your back is to me and your hand is on the door.”

  “You want to know what’s going on? I’m jonesing for a fucking drink. I need to do something to help me move past that. I’ll be back later. By then, maybe you’ll be ready to talk with me instead of hitting me below the fucking belt.” I whipped open the door and stormed out, leaving her standing alone in my wake. She let out a scream so loud, I heard it as I reached the end of the hallway.

  Chapter 19

  After looking at Quinn’s fatigued body, Gunther drew just one vial, not wanting to make her feel any worse. She begged him to take more, but she had been complaining about exhaustion and didn’t look much livelier than he did.

  Even though the fuzziness was building in his brain, and his spine was more than a bit achy, he figured he could go a while longer before he had a big ingestion. Not wanting her to feel bad, Gunther refused to show Quinn how much pain he was in.

  Just as he dumped back the vial, they heard Elaina scream. Within seconds, Gunther bolted out of their room and slammed open her door. “What’s going on? Are you all right?” Then he glanced down the hallway and saw Henry walking away. “Henry?”

  “Just leave it, Gunther!” he snapped, turning the corner.

  Gunther looked back at Elaina. “What’s wrong, besides the obvious?” She shook her head, crying. “Hey…hey. Come on now.” He pulled her into him.

  “I’m losing everyone,” she sobbed into his chest.

  “No, you’re not. You have Henry and you have us.”

  “No, I don’t. He went against me and just walked out on me.”

  Gunther grabbed her shoulders and bent down so she was looking at him. “Listen, he’s dealing with a lot internally right now.”

  “And I’m not?!” she bit back at him.

  “Elaina…do you not see how upset he is?”

  “My brother just died!” she yelled. “How am I supposed to see his sadness when I will never be able to look past my own?”

  “And he understands that, but he’s battling hard against the demons in his own head.” Judging by the harsh glare she was throwing at him, he knew she wanted to throat punch him.

  “Just leave me alone!” She flailed around and pulled away from him, pushing Gunther out of the room. After she slammed the door in his face, he held his head and decided to go back to his room.

  “What’s going on?” Quinn asked, leaning in the doorframe.

  “It’s fine,” he sighed. “They both just need some time to cool off.”

  Quinn held out her hand and yanked him into their room. When the door closed, she stalked to the desk. “What a damn tragedy,” she mumbled. “I’m tired of death, Gun. I really am. I don’t know how much more of it I can handle.”

  Gunther closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the guilt creep in. “Yeah. I am, as well. I feel terrible for her. For the both of them.”

  “I need to refocus to get my mind off of it or that’ll be all I think about.” Quinn stripped out of her bloody clothes and stood in front of Gunther, completely naked. “I mean, it’s not like I won’t grieve our loss, but it just reminds me of how much I need to focus on us. How much I love you… How much I want to spend all the time I have with you… I don’t want to waste a moment because you never know what’s going to happen. There are no guarantees in this life anymore.”

  Lust-filled eyes darted around her body. He was trying to control himself, but it was nearly impossible. She was unbelievably foxy to him. Quinn noticed Gunther staring and smirked at him. “Good god, bird. What are you trying to do to me? You can’t just stand naked and try to hold a deep conversation with me.”

  “I’m just changing my clothes,” she said with a shrug. She rested her hands on her hips. “Did you even hear a word I said?”

  “Of course I did. I feel the same. It’s difficult and tragic. It tears me up, but I also need to press on. I cannot dwell or all those feelings of guilt and let self-hatred trickle in.”

  “I don’t want that to happen. You know how I feel about what those assholes did to you. I say, while we’re in here—in our room—it will be our sanctuary. Our happy place. The place we go to get away from everything and we only think about us and our relationship.”

  “I like that idea. Gives me a place to get away from it all.”

  “Good. It’s settled. No more bad talk or thoughts in this room.” She turned toward the desk again. A groan slipped out of his throat when she bent over the desk, pushing her ass out and swaying it back and forth while she sorted through a pile of clothes.

  An idea struck and Gunther was going to make her focus only on him.

  He peeled off his blood-stained t-shirt and kicked off his boots. As he made his way to Quinn, he stopped at a shelf, grabbed one of her scarves, and tucked it in the back pocket of his jeans. When he approached from behind, he pressed his big body against hers, pushing her into the desk.

  Gunther whispered, “Do you trust me?”

  Already breathing deep, she said, “Implicitly. I trust you with my life.”

  He nuzzled her ear and pulled her lobe into his mouth, nipping at it. “Are you sure?”

  He pushed her further into the desk. She gasped. “Yes.”

  “Yes?”

  “Yes…,” she breathed out.

  He reached back and pulled the scarf from his pocket, moving back just enough to let the edges of the scarf drag up her back. A chill ran over her skin, leaving every hair standing on end. “You sure you trust me, love?”

  “Yes.”

  “Close your eyes,” he murmured. When she did, he tied the scarf around her eyes. “Comfortable?”

  “Yes.” Excitement ran through her. They’ve had rough sex and he commanded her before, but this was something new for them. She only ever read about it in books.

  He reached down and checked to see how wet she was. “Mmm…,” he groaned, feeling her honey slick his fingers. “So perfect.”

  “Gun…,” she moaned.

  He ran his fingertips up her back, down her shoulders, then to her hands. He shoved all of the clothes on the desk to the floor. Then he moved her hands to the edge and curled her fingers around it. “Hold on,” he murmured. “Now, you did all that disrobing, bent over hip swaying on purpose, didn’t you?” She nodded. “You are one naughty little bird, aren’t you?” She smirked and nodded again.

  Gunther chuckled as he ran his fingertips back up her arms, over her neck, down her sides, gently tracing all of her. He rested his hands on her perfect ass. His stiff cock was screaming to get in on the action. He knelt behind his beautiful love and pushed her legs apart. She was more than ready for him.

  She gasped when he ran his tongue over her most sensitive area. “Gun!”

  Gunther stood and grabbed her hair, pulling her ear to his mouth. “I love it when you scream my name.” He pushed her down onto the desk and smoothed his hand over her supple skin. “You are beautiful, love. I wish you could see from my point of view. Amazing.”

  Quinn’s breath caught in her throat. The way he was behaving made her that much hotter for him.

  Gunther knelt and tickled her heated wet folds with his fingertips. She squirmed under his touch and started to pant. Another gasp escaped when he flicked out his tongue, teasing her. That made him chuckle into her heat.

  When he glanced up at her, she was biting down on her bottom lip. Seeing her do that made Gunther change his plans. He was going to take her rough, but he wanted that mouth around him first. Pulling her to a standing position, he spun Quinn around.

  “On your knees,” he commanded. She dropped to her knees—blindfolded, flushed, panting… Such a fucking turn on. “Take off my jeans.”

  Quinn reached out, feeling for him. He hissed when she massaged her way up his already throbbing cock. Her tentative fingers found his belt buckle, fumbling for a split second before she managed to unbuckle it, the rattle making her shudder. As a visual of his fit body engulfed her mind, her lips parted.
The jeans slipped down his hips a bit, exposing that “V” she loved to touch. Trembling, she searched out for the button and zipper.

  When his jeans hit the floor, he rested one of his big palms on the top of her head. His length stood out, ready for her hot, luscious mouth. He ran his knuckles over her cheek, stroking her lips with his thumb.

  “Suck me,” Gunther murmured.

  The tip of her tongue snaked out and licked her lips, almost making him lose control. She drew him into her mouth and he threw his head back, reveling in the sensation of hitting the back of her throat.

  “Fuuuuck.” She had him out of breath in seconds as he watched her move with such grace and finesse. “Oh god, love…” She ran her tongue over every bulging vein.

  Wondering if she would submit further, Gunther stepped back, popping his cock from her mouth. “You still all right? Trust me?” She nodded. He pulled the belt out of his jeans, and knelt behind her. Pulling her arms behind her back, he wrapped the belt around them, just above her elbows.

  Luckily enough for him, he only wore one type of belt—rivets from end to end. He fastened it tight, then headed to the shelf to fetch his only other belt. He wrapped that one around her wrists.

  “You all right?” he asked in a rough whisper at her ear. She nodded. “If you hurt in any way, you need to tell me. Do you know what a safe word is?” She nodded again. “Pick one.”

  “Red.”

  “Perfect. If you say red, no matter what is going on, I will stop. It is my responsibility to keep you safe and I promise you that always. I love you.” He kissed her cheek and a small smile graced her lips. He stood and walked around to the front of her, trailing the very tips of his icy fingers along her body. “Look at you. Sweet Jesus. So fucking beautiful, waiting for my commands. You want me all the way down your throat?”

  “Please…”

  “That’s my girl.”

  Gunther palmed her head and he entered mouth. As he hit the back of her throat, it kicked back, but he pressed on to move her past the reflex. He gripped onto the back of her head and pushed all the way in, pulling her face to his body.