Sunsets and Shades

by Erica Lee

  “How’s work going?” Grace asked as soon as I sat down. This girl and all of her damn questions all the time.

  “Work is fine. It’s work. Any other questions or can I enjoy my pizza?”

  Grace’s face immediately turned red, and for a moment, I felt bad for giving her attitude. “Nope. No questions at all, Kinsley. Forget I even asked. Sorry for caring,” she snapped.

  “I never asked you to care, so that’s your own problem,” I laughed.

  Before I could evaluate Grace’s reaction, Leah cleared her throat on the other side of me. “So, Liam and I had an idea.”

  “Actually, it was your ide….” Liam began, but Leah put a hand up to stop him.

  “Liam and I had an idea. We think that the four of us should go camping this weekend.”

  “The four of us? Is that like a thing now?” I mocked.

  Leah made a face at me in response to my joke, and I couldn’t tell whether it was amusement, annoyance, or a little bit of both. “OK, Kins. Two things.” She held up two fingers to make a point. “One… I’m going to need you to stop being a big old bag of douche. And two… for this weekend, the four of us are a ‘thing’ and we are all going camping whether you like it or not.”

  Grace looked between Leah and I, then hesitantly spoke up. “I’m not sure if…”

  “I said….the four of us are going camping this weekend whether you like it or not,” Leah interrupted.

  Grace and I reluctantly agreed. We both knew Leah well enough to know that once she made up her mind about something, there was no turning back, which was exactly how I found myself crawling into the back of Liam’s Jeep not even 24 hours later.

  “Any music requests?” Liam asked once we were on the road.

  At the exact same time that I said, “EDM,” Grace answered with, “Something relaxing.”

  Liam and Leah gave each other a look, at which point Leah turned on the radio. “Top 40 it is.”

  The four of us were mostly quiet as we drove the rest of the way to the campsite. Once we arrived, Liam started pulling supplies out of the back of the car. “So, where’s the third tent?” I asked, after only seeing two in the pile.

  “Liam only has two tents,” Leah answered nonchalantly. “Since you and Grace have shared a bed a few times, I figured you’d be fine sharing a tent.”

  “Sounds great,” I responded through gritted teeth.

  Since we had arrived late, we decided to spend a few hours around a campfire before going to bed. I volunteered to start it even though I had no clue what I was doing. Camping really wasn’t my thing, but I just wanted some time away from the group. Unfortunately, that time didn’t last too long. As soon as Grace noticed me struggling, she joined me by the fire pit. “Could I help you?”

  “I’m fine,” I snapped. “I got this.” I continued to rub sticks together the way I had seen it done in movies.

  “I just think there’s an easier…”

  “I don’t care what you think. I said that I’ve got this.”

  As I continued to struggle, Grace reached for something in her pocket. I didn’t notice that it was a lighter until she had the whole pile of leaves and branches in front of me up in flames. A cocky smile came onto her face as she put the lighter back in her pocket. “You’re welcome.”

  “I didn’t say thank you,” I growled.

  Grace slammed her fist on the ground, then quickly stood up. “You know what Kinsley?! Maybe you wouldn’t be so freaking miserable all the time if you actually let people in.” Before I could respond, she stormed back to our tent, zipping it up fully once she was inside.

  Leah watched the scene, then walked up to me with both hands in the air. “What the heck just happened?”

  “Same old, same old,” I replied. “Turns out, if we’re not bumping vaginas, we’re butting heads.”

  Leah mockingly gagged. “Ew. I’m going to pretend you didn’t just put that visual in my head. You do realize why you guys fight all the time though, right?”

  “Because she takes things too personally, and I’m kind of an asshole?”

  “Well, this is true. But there’s also the fact that you both have feelings that you’re trying to suppress. You want to fight those feelings so badly that you’re fighting each other instead.”

  “That’s ridiculous,” I fought, joining Liam who was now sitting by the fire.

  Liam looked between Leah and I. “What happened to Grace?”

  Leah pointed one thumb toward me. “Asshole over here struck again and did something to upset her.”

  To my surprise, Liam started to laugh and shake his head. “You guys really need to just admit that you have feelings for each other.”

  Really? Liam too? What had Leah been saying to him? The last thing I wanted was to deal with people trying to tell me how I felt, so I stood back up. “You guys have fun. I’m just going to go to bed too.”

  As I walked away, Leah began to snicker. “Make sure you guys keep the noise down during the make up sex. We don’t want to scare the wildlife.”

  I shook my head at her. Of course there wouldn’t be any make up sex. There wouldn’t be any more sex period. It didn’t matter how good it was or how much I wanted it. It couldn’t happen. Clearly, Grace was getting the wrong idea, and I wasn’t going to let it continue.

  At least, that’s what I told myself. As soon as I was in the tent, staring at Grace’s sleeping form, all of my previous convictions went out the window. If Grace would wake up and ask to have sex with me, I’d be naked in about a half a second. I found her aggravatingly irresistible. I scolded myself for letting her have this effect on me, as I changed into pajamas and crawled into my sleeping bag. The tent was way too small for two people who were trying not to touch, so I could feel every movement Grace was making in the sleeping bag next to me. Soon, I realized she was shaking.

  I put a hand on her bare shoulder and tried to ignore how my stupid heartbeat picked up from this one simple touch. “Are you OK?” I whispered.

  “I’m fine.” Grace’s words were short. She was clearly still annoyed from earlier. After a few beats, she sighed in defeat. “I’m just freezing. I didn’t pack any warm clothes. I totally didn’t think about the fact that it would cool down so much once the sun went down.”

  I scooted my sleeping bag even closer to hers. “I know one way we could warm ourselves up real quickly,” I breathed into her neck and was happy when I saw goosebumps form in response.

  Grace was still for a minute, then turned to look at me. Unfortunately, she gave me a look of annoyance rather than desire. “Seriously, Kinsley? You can’t just treat me however you want and then expect that I’ll have sex with you again. You ignored me all week, and whenever you did talk to me, you were a jerk.”

  “It was just sex, Grace. I never claimed that I was going to ride into the sunset with you.”

  “And who says that’s what I want?” Her question took me aback. I wasn’t expecting that response, and for whatever reason, I didn’t like hearing it. But why would that bother me? It’s good that she doesn’t have any expectations. I don’t want expectations. I hate expectations.

  “If I had to guess, I’d say your Laurel Lake fan page probably does,” I attempted to joke.

  Unfortunately, as usual with Grace, my joke fell flat. She rolled her eyes and quickly turned away from me. “Goodnight Kinsley,” she mumbled.

  As I laid there contemplating why I seemed to get under her skin so much, I noticed she was still shivering. I reached out a hand and placed it on her arm. Even with the way my hand seemed to burn from the contact with her skin, I could still tell that she was freezing. I moved closer and wrapped my arms around her from behind. I could tell by the way that her body stiffened at my touch that she was still awake. “I’m sorry about my joke,” I whispered into her ear. “Please let me hold you. I want to help warm you up.”

  I couldn’t believe these words were leaving my mouth. Who had I become around this girl? But then again, I wasn
’t going to just let someone die of hypothermia. Not when I had plenty of body heat to provide. I would do this for anyone. The fact that she was a pretty girl just made it more enjoyable. Grace simply nodded in response, and I crawled into her sleeping bag with her, easily slipping into a deep sleep.

  I awoke the next day to the sound of Leah and Liam talking outside of our tent. I opened my eyes to see Grace still snuggled up against me and thought about prolonging this moment as long as I could. But why would I do that when I could spend the day outside? I really had to shake this feeling, but first I had to shake myself loose from the girl I strangely had no interest in leaving. I carefully extracted myself, careful not to wake her, then headed outside. “Hey! How is my favorite grumpy pants today?” Leah teased as soon as she saw me.

  “Ha very funny,” I mocked. “What’s the plan for today?”

  Liam held up his fishing rod in one hand and a can of beer in the other. “Welp, I already caught our fish for dinner. I thought the rest of the day could be spent drinking and swimming.”

  “You woke up super early to fish, and you’re already drinking? I can’t handle you early risers.”

  Liam scratched at his head and looked down at his watch. “I mean I woke up at 10:30, so I wouldn’t exactly call that early. I guess someone who wakes up at two might have different ideas though.”

  I grabbed his wrist to look at his watch and was shocked to see that he wasn’t lying. I don’t know if I had ever slept that well. Must have been something about the great outdoors.

  Within a half hour, Grace was awake, and we were already down at the lake swimming and drinking. Leah and I sat on the edge, while Grace and Liam jumped right in and began messing around like a bunch of kids. I watched in envy as Liam fought to dunk Grace, wishing it was my hands that were touching that barely covered body.

  “Aren’t you jealous that your boyfriend has his hands all over some other girl?”

  Leah chuckled at my words. “He’s far from being all over her, plus she’s not just some other girl. She’s my childhood best friend who is also a big lesbian. Also, even if he was all over her, I wouldn’t care. I’m not the jealous type.” She looked over at me as I continued to watch them intently. “I guess the same can’t be said for you though,” she laughed.

  “Why would I be jealous of your boyfriend getting handsy with some other girl? In case you missed it, he’s not my type.”

  Leah rolled her eyes at me. “Clearly I’m talking about the fact that you are jealous that someone else is enjoying time with your lady right now.”

  I jumped in the lake and joined Liam and Grace in order to avoid acknowledging her nonsense. The rest of the day was filled with chicken fights, rope swinging, and lots of drinking. By the time we were done eating dinner, we all had a pretty good buzz going. “I can’t decide if I want to throw up or have a bunch of sex with my boyfriend, but either way, I’m going back to the tent, and I suggest you should come with me,” Leah slurred, while pointing to Liam.

  Liam stood and wiggled his eyebrows at Grace and I. “There’s a 50% chance that this is going to turn out really well for me, so I’ll see you ladies tomorrow.”

  I turned to Grace who had started to shiver. “Maybe we should call it a night too,” I suggested. “You look like you could use your sleeping bag now that the fire has died down.” I reached a hand out, and Grace graciously accepted it. We continued to hold hands as we stumbled over to our tent. This time, I automatically crawled into Grace’s sleeping bag with her, immediately pulling her into a tight embrace from behind. I was almost asleep when I heard soft whimper come from Grace’s direction. “Hey now. What’s wrong?” I whispered into her ear, while pulling her even closer to me.

  “Sorry, it’s really stupid. I wouldn’t be crying if I wasn’t drunk right now.”

  I ran my fingers up and down Grace’s arm. “Shhh... It’s OK. You can tell me.”

  Grace took a few quick breaths, and I could tell she was trying to fight the tears. “It’s just… you’re holding me, and the last person who held me like this was Becky, and it just brought back a bunch of memories, and I started thinking about how much I miss having someone that cares about me snuggle up to me every night.”

  I forced Grace to turn and look at me, then ran a finger along her cheek. As I stared into her green eyes, a slew of emotions rushed through me, and all I wanted to do was make her feel better. “It’s going to be OK. You’re going to be OK,” I soothed. Without thinking, I leaned down and connected my lips with Grace’s, then continued to kiss down her chin and neck. Grace sighed and lifted her neck to allow me access. I delicately placed kisses along every square inch, then moved back to her lips, every cell in my body on high alert from this simple contact.

  Grace gently pushed me away. “I’m not in the right place to have sex tonight, Kinsley.”

  I moved a stray hair behind Grace’s ear and looked back into her eyes. “I don’t need to have sex with you. I just want you to know that I do care about you. It might not be in the same way Becky did, but at least that means I can’t hurt you. Just trust me when I tell you that you are being held by someone who cares about you.”

  With this confession, Grace wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me back into her. The kiss was tentative at first, but soon her tongue was gliding along my bottom lip, begging for entry. I opened my mouth to hers and moaned as our tongues wrapped around each other. The kiss was slow and sensual and remained this way for hours, until we were both too tired to continue and fell asleep in each other’s arms.

  I was disappointed when I awoke the next day, and Grace was no longer there beside me. The events from the night before replayed in my head, and for once, I didn’t regret them. I was starting to realize that this was just the type of friendship that Grace and I had. It was fun, and real, and hot as hell. I moved toward the front of the tent and was about to unzip it when I heard Leah and Liam playfully teasing Grace. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I figured it probably had something to do with me, so I put my ear against the front of the tent to listen. Grace’s voice was the first that I heard. “Alright guys. Drop it. Kinsley and I are just friends. That’s all we’re ever going to be. I mean, come on Leah. You met Becky. Clearly Kinsley isn’t my type.”

  Her words made me feel like I had just been punched in the gut. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt like this. Actually, I could, but it had been years, and I had vowed that I wouldn’t let myself feel like this ever again. Luckily, it wasn’t too late this time. It wasn’t like I had actually fallen for her. I sat in the tent for a few more minutes, before throwing on a t-shirt, shorts, and sneakers.

  “Going for a morning jog,” I announced as soon as I left the tent.

  Grace looked over at me, and a smile lit up her face. “That’s a great idea. Just let me get changed, and I’ll come with you.”

  “Did I say you could come?” I snapped. “We don’t have to do everything together, Grace.”

  Before she could respond, I took off jogging in the opposite direction. I had never been much of a runner. Track had been one of the many sports that I quit after less than a year. Even though I was competitive, I couldn’t commit to anything, even intramurals. But today, running felt good. It felt liberating. I hadn’t been running too long when I came upon a camper with a big rainbow flag on the front. A girl wearing just a pair of daisy duke style shorts and a red bikini top was sitting outside reading. Her long blonde hair was blowing in the slight breeze, and when she looked up from her book, her stunning blue eyes caught me. The smile that came across her face told me that she also liked what she was seeing. I pointed behind her. “Nice flag.”

  She looked toward the flag and smiled. “We call this thing Ol’ Gay.”

  “We, as in you and your girlfriend?” I teased.

  The blonde shook her head slowly. “We, as in me and my friends. Unfortunately, I’m still single.”

  “I don’t see anything unfortunate about that,” I flirt
ed back.

  An even wider smile spread across the blonde’s face as she stood up and reached out a hand toward me. “I’m Serena. It’s nice to meet you…”

  “Kinsley,” I finished, taking her hand in mine. “So, Serena, this may be way too forward of me, but how would you feel about spending some time at my campsite today? That is, unless you think your friends will miss you too much.”

  Serena looked toward the camper and sighed. “Turns out they’re all coupled up at this point, so I’d say they won’t miss me one bit. Let me just grab a t-shirt.”

  “T-shirts aren’t required.” I ran my eyes the length of her body, showing my appreciation. And what a nice body it was. Sure, my own body didn’t react the way it did when I looked at Grace, but that was a good thing.

  The two of us talked and flirted as we walked the rest of the way back to my campsite. Once we arrived, three sets of eyes were immediately drawn to my new friend. I put an arm around her waist and smiled proudly. “This is Serena. She’s going to spend the day with us.”

  My friends’ greetings were cordial, but forced. Grace looked toward the ground, refusing to make eye contact with me. She seemed upset by my actions, but I wasn’t sure why she would be. I wasn’t her type after all. There were only four chairs set up outside our tents so I sat down in the remaining one and pulled Serena onto my lap, happy to see that she wasn’t shy at all. “So, what’s the plan for today?” I asked, looking past the girl on my lap.

  Leah looked from me to Grace, who was still staring down at the ground. “Well, I thought the four of us were going to do something today. No offense, Serena.”

  “Yeah. The four of us are just kind of a thing,” Liam added.

  Serena looked between all of us, then awkwardly stood from my lap. “Sorry to intrude. It was really nice to meet all of you.” Before I could say anything, she was walking away.

  “Seriously guys?” I growled. “Way to be a cock block.”

  Leah only glared at me in response. “Just because you’re a dick doesn’t mean you have one. Therefore, it can’t be considered a cock block.”