Chaser

by Miasha

  The next day I woke up early, as if I was going to work, but instead I made plans to go to the spa. I was mentally drained, physically exhausted, and emotionally torn. I needed a hot stone massage and milk bath so bad. I went to Millennium and used the gift certificate that I had gotten from Nasir. It made me think of him the whole time I was getting pampered. I wanted to see him.

  After taking the day to relax at the spa, I showed up at the shop at a quarter after four to get my personal belongings and my paycheck. Everybody was cheerful as they were every Friday. Not only was it the start of the weekend, but it was payday as well. The minute I stepped foot in the office, Joe approached me.

  Removing the mask from his face that protected him from inhaling fumes while inside the paint booth, he said, “You’re late as hell today. I thought you wasn’t comin’ in. I thought I was goin’ have to go to the check-cashing place after work.”

  “I wasn’t gonna come in, but I had to get my stuff,” I told him, putting my crossword-puzzle book into my bag.

  “What you mean you had to come get your stuff? You leavin’ us?”

  “I got fired,” I said honestly.

  “Whyyy?” he asked, a concerned look on his face.

  I smirked. “It had nothing to do with what we got goin’ on. Don’t worry. You’re not next,” I assured him. “It’s a personal issue between Vic and me. But,” I said, taking a few envelopes out of my pocketbook, “I still wanna keep our deal. In this envelope are instructions as to where and when to meet me every Friday. And can you give the others their envelopes as well? I don’t wanna be seen giving shit to people on my way out the door. And tell them to take the instructions home and throw them in the trash. I don’t need somebody stumbling across them here.”

  Joe nodded. “Yeah, sure,” he said. “Damn, I hate to see you go, though. What happened?”

  I shook my head. “It’s a long story. And I really don’t wanna tell it. Besides, you better get back to work before Vic walk up in here.”

  Joe looked at his wristwatch. “Yeah, he’ll be walking in any minute now,” he said. “Well, good luck. And I guess I’ll see you next Friday.”

  I nodded and continued packing my things. Vic came in the shop at about four thirty-five. He made payroll, getting to me last. He didn’t say anything to me. He just handed me my six-hundred-dollar paycheck and let me go about my business. I got in my car and drove around the corner to the 7-Eleven. I parked and waited in my car. At about five fifteen a few workers from the shop came pulling up into the parking lot. We exchanged checks and cash and then parted ways. My nerves were so jittery that I had to drive around awhile to calm them before driving to Nasir’s post on Fifty-second and Spruce to see if he was out chasing.

  I was waiting for the light to turn green when I noticed Nasir’s truck speed out of the gas-station parking lot. I called him to let him know that I was pulling up so that he would slow down.

  “Hey,” I sang as soon as he answered his phone.

  “What’s up?” he said plainly.

  “You don’t sound happy to hear from me.”

  “Naw, I am. I’m just tryna get to this hit, that’s all.”

  “Well, I’m behind you. I got a little bit of time on my hands, so I thought I’d get up with you.”

  “Oh word? Well, I’m about to go to this hit right now. What you doin’ later?”

  I called myself surprising Nasir, but it was him and his nonchalant attitude that surprised me. I didn’t expect an answer like that. I thought he’d be happy as hell to spend a little bit of time with me, especially since our time together was limited. But, instead, it seemed he was brushing me off. I hoped he wasn’t on some other shit since his dad had caught us yesterday.

  “I’m not goin’ be available later. That’s why I’m here now,” I said.

  “Yeah, well, I’m goin’ to a—”

  “A hit, I know, I heard you. I can follow you, and then after you finish up we can go somewhere,” I pressed.

  Nasir was silent for a minute.

  “What’s the problem?” I probed.

  “Nothin’. Let me call you right back.” He hung up.

  Something was goin’ on with Nasir, and I was about to find out what that was. I continued following until I had the opportunity to pull up beside him. I rode alongside the curb and stopped at the red light beside his truck. Once aligned with him, I saw what the problem was: he had a girl in his passenger’s seat. I beeped my horn.

  The girl looked over at me. She had light brown skin, hazel eyes, and blond hair. She reminded me of Eva Pigford from America’s Next Top Model, except she had a fuller face and was older-looking, and instead of a short cut her hair was pulled up into a loose ponytail. She was pretty.

  The girl said something to Nasir, then he leaned up in his seat to look over at me. I shook my head at him and asked, “Is this a result of us being caught by ya dad yesterday? Or did you have this goin’ on all along?”

  Nasir had an angry look on his face, and he responded, “What? What are you talkin’ about? You drawin’ right now!”

  At that point the girl had a question. “Who is that?”

  “She work at my dad’s shop. She’s the secretary,” he answered in a frustrated tone.

  “He’s right,” I said with much attitude, “I’m just the secretary at his dad’s shop.”

  “Leah, what is wrong with you, dog? You trippin’!” Nasir told me, clearly upset.

  “I’m trippin’?” I quizzed. “You trippin’! Why you ain’t just tell me you had somebody from the rip, and this wouldn’t be goin’ down right now!”

  “Wait a minute, hold up,” the girl butted in. “Why does she need to know that you have a girlfriend? What’s really goin’ on with y’all, Nasir? Is she the one that’s been distractin’ you lately?”

  Nasir went to speak but the light turned green, and all the cars that were lined up behind us were blowing their horns all crazy so I couldn’t hear him. All I knew was that right after he said whatever he said, the girl started swinging on him. He managed to pull off and drive up a block but rather erratically. And the next corner was as far as he got before having to pull over. I was right behind him, too. I wanted an explanation.

  I was so mad. And don’t get me wrong, I was not mad that Nasir had a girl with him. No! What pissed me off was the fact that he hadn’t been up front with me about her. And then on top of that, his reaction toward me was like I was a flea or somethin’. I mean, had he told me he had somebody from the beginning, I woulda never said anything when I drove up and seen her in his truck. I woulda known what it was and kept it movin’. But he put me in a fucked-up position to have to find out some shit and be caught off guard.

  I pulled up behind Nasir. He and the girl got out of his truck. I got out of my car as well.

  “I’m goin’ ask you one more time, and that’s it, Nasir. Who is this girl?” she snapped. Her attitude and anger had gone up some notches since her first question about who I was.

  “I told you a million times, Tara!”

  “But not one of them times you told me the truth!” she accused. “Now what the fuck is it?”

  “Fuck it, then,” Nasir said, his attitude turning nonchalant, “Why don’t you ask her?”

  Meanwhile I was leaning against the passenger door of my car watching Nasir and the girl go back and forth, waiting for my turn to drill the nigga.

  “Excuse me!” the girl turned around and started the short walk to me. “Who are you to Nasir?”

  Before answering, I looked past her and glanced at him. He had a pitiful look on his face. And I actually felt bad for him in that brief moment. I took a few seconds to gather my composure, and I decided that I wasn’t goin’ to tell the girl the truth and hang Nasir no more than I already had done.

  But before I spoke, Nasir hung himself and said, “Go ’head. You might as well tell her the truth now.”

  Then the girl just lost it. She turned around and ran up on Nasir, swinging on him
again.

  All the while she was screaming, “I KNEW IT! ALL THIS TIME! YOU FUCKIN’ LIAR! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU, NASIR!”

  The girl was wailing on Nasir, hitting him in the face and everything. She was crying and screaming, just hysterical. I started feelin’ bad for her at that point. I had been in her shoes before. I knew what pain she felt. And at the moment I wished I could have turned back the hands of time and erased everything that happened after I finished collectin’ checks at the 7-Eleven.

  Nasir finally grabbed hold of both the girl’s hands and held them still. After a few attempts to break free she gave up. Still crying, she pretty much collapsed in his arms, burying her face in his chest. I approached them slowly, and said, “Look, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

  “Fuck you, Leah,” Nasir said to me, cold.

  I was confused, and my facial expression said so.

  Nasir proceeded, still holding the girl close. “You ain’t have to draw like you did. I mean, you got a dude! How you think I feel, every day you go home to that nigga, laugh and joke with ’im, eat dinner with ’im, and every night I know you layin’ up with that nigga! You don’t think that shit hurt? But I ain’t never said shit! I ain’t never put no pressure on you to give that up! And I damn sure ain’t make it obvious to the nigga that we had our thing! And trust me, I had plenty opportunity, but naw, I let you do you! I let you keep ya home base! But you roll up on me on some jealous school-girl shit, causin’ all this mayhem!” Nasir let me have it.

  He was right about how he played his part throughout our short-lived relationship, but there was one thing he was wrong about, and I wanted him to know it and understand it. I wasn’t lettin’ him off the hook.

  “That’s all true, Nasir, but the difference is like you said, you knew all along I had a dude! You walked into this knowin’ that! Me, on the other hand, I had no idea that you had a girl! It ain’t like I ain’t ask you! And you told me before you spend time or money on a girl it had to be somebody you planned on being with for a while or whatever! You remember that? You coulda told me right then and there I got somebody ya kna mean, and that woulda been that! This wouldn’t be happenin’ right now! But you didn’t do that! You didn’t keep it real with me!”

  At that point the girl stopped crying and pulled away from Nasir. She stepped out of his arms and said, “I can’t do this. Nasir, it’s over. Miss, whatever ya name is, you can have ’im.” Then she walked off.

  “Let me take you to ya car, Tara,” Nasir said, following behind her.

  “No need!” she shouted back at him. “I can’t stand to be in ya presence right now! I’d rather walk to my car!”

  “Naw, come on, Tara!” he pleaded.

  She put up her middle finger and kept walking.

  He eventually stopped chasin’ her and walked back down the street to where his truck was parked and where I was standing.

  He shook his head at me and asked, “You happy?”

  I nodded slowly, looking him in the eyes. “It’s sad, and it may even be fucked up on my part, but yes, I’m very happy!”

  Nasir leaned up against his truck and said, “You full of shit.”

  I walked over to him and took the spot that his girlfriend had just left. I wrapped my arms around his back and leaned my head against his chest. I squeezed him. And I said, “I think I’m in love with you, Nasir.”

  “Then why all the games? Huh? Why won’t you leave Kenny today if you in love with me? Huh? What’s keepin’ you at bay? And don’t talk that financial security shit to me. That counts for nothin’ no more,” he said.

  I lifted my head up and looked at him. I wanted him to believe every word I was about to say. “I swear on my life if I could leave Kenny right now, I would. I woulda left him months ago if I could have—”

  Nasir cut me off. “What’s all this ‘if I could have’ shit? That’s what I’m not understandin’! That’s what’s soundin’ like game to me!” Nasir stood up straight and pulled his jeans up on his hips. Then he leaned against his truck once again. “All you gotta do is move ya feet and walk. I don’t get you!”

  “No, no,” I began to explain. “It’s not a matter of me just leavin’ him! I can do that with no problem! But I got this case I’m fightin’ with him right now. And if I leave him today or tomorrow, he goin’ stop payment on my lawyer, and I’ma be left on my own tryna beat this thing with a public defender. It ain’t about me and him! My freedom is on the line!”

  “What a lawyer cost? Five stacks? All right, let’s say I give you that. Would you leave the bull?”

  I was silent for a minute as I thought about a way to explain my true dilemma to Nasir without giving away too much. I was even contemplating telling him the truth about my being an informant. But I had been told precisely not to let anybody know that I was a CI. Not even my family. All it took was for the information to get in the wrong hands and I could be discovered. I took that seriously, too, because that was the one thing I dreaded happening—being found out. That meant life or death to me. So I decided against telling Nasir after all.

  “So I take that as a no,” Nasir said, referring to his question about my leaving Kenny if Nasir would pay my lawyer tab.

  “All right, listen,” I said.

  Nasir put his hands up and looked away. “Here come the bullshit,” he mumbled.

  “It’s not bullshit!” I said.

  Nasir grew aggravated. “It is, man! I don’t understand why you just made that big-ass scene, fucked up shit between me and my girl…for what? What was the point?”

  “You know what, you’re right. I shouldn’t have done that! I shoulda just let you be with ya girl. Go ’head. Be with ya girl. If that’s what you wanna do,” I said stubbornly, backing away from him, as if I was giving him permission to leave.

  But instead of his leaving, he shot back, “No! See, that’s where you wrong! I wanna be with you! That’s where I wanna be! But you can’t get that through ya head!” He poked me in my temple with his pointer finger. “You ain’t tryna leave the bull! Every time I offer you a way out, you shoot it down! But you don’t want me to be with nobody. You full of shit, man.”

  I was getting frustrated, wishing I could tell Nasir the real deal. I liked him so much. In fact, I had love for him. “Nasir, I need you to understand, it’s not that I wanna be with Kenny! I don’t! I just got a complicated situation goin’ on and I need you to trust me when I say that! I wanna tell you the deal so, so bad, but it’s a lot at stake!” I started getting emotional, and tears began to surface. “You think I go home every day with a smile on my face? You think I like layin’ up with Kenny every night? Fuck no!” Tears fell down my face. “I hate Kenny! If you only knew what he did to me and if you only knew why I was still with him, this would be so simple right now! But it’s not! It’s complicated! And at the end of the day I’m the one carrying the most burdens around! And I’m not askin’ you for sympathy! I’m a big girl. I got myself in this mess, and I’ma get myself out, God willing! All I’m askin’ for from you is trust, understanding, and time. Trust that I got my reasons for stayin’ with Kenny right now. Understand that I got a lot of shit I’m battlin’ right now. And give me time to get to the finish. Once that happens, I’m free! I’m yours! I give you my word! I love you, Nasir! You been my rock through all of the shit I been goin’ through, and you don’t even know it! If you wasn’t in my life right now, I’d probably be goin’ crazy! That’s why I know God put you in my life for a reason! I value you for that! And in due time I’ll be able to show you. I just need you to ride it out with me until then,” I poured.

  Nasir didn’t say anything. He just stared at me. Then he asked, “You love me?”

  I nodded as I wiped my face with my hands.

  “Naw, seriously, can you really say that you love me?”

  “With all my heart,” I said sincerely.

  “Come here, man,” he said, pulling me to him again. “I don’t know what it is about you, Leah, but you got me. You do
somethin’ for me that no other girl has. And no matter how hard I try, I can’t shake you.”

  “You tried to shake me?” I asked him in an innocent whisper.

  He chuckled and said, “See. Just the little shit you say and do draw me to you. I don’t know, man. I can’t explain it.” He took a breath and exhaled, then he said, “I’m goin’ ride with you, Leah. Just don’t end up hurtin’ me, man. I’m puttin’ a lot on the line for you. And I need it to be worth it in the end.”

  I lifted my head, reached up, and kissed Nasir on the lips. How he felt about me was unreal. Nothing short of magical. In his arms I felt like a princess who had been rescued by her Prince Charming. If only I was living a fairy tale.

  Nasir

  After my fight with Leah last week I realized just how much I felt for her. I wanted a serious relationship with her. No more sharing her with another nigga. She didn’t know it, but I had plans for her to leave Kenny sooner than she thought.

  I’d been grindin’ hard, chasing all day and all night, tryin’ to build a nice stash not only to hire Leah a lawyer to beat her case but also to be able to hold me and her down once she left Kenny.

  I was seeing the fruits of my labor, too, when payday rolled around. Not only did I get three grand in commission from my pop, but I had a nice amount of money waiting for me at the lawyer’s office and the medical center that day.

  “Hi, how you doin’, Cara? I have a ten o’clock appointment with Anthony,” I told the woman at the front desk.

  “Good morning, Nas. Have a seat. He’ll be out shortly.”

  “Thanks,” I said, walking over to one of the antique chairs that decorated the expansive reception area.

  Anthony was the injury lawyer to whom I referred bodily injury cases. Basically, whenever I got a hit, not only did I refer the customers to my dad’s shop to get their cars repaired, but I also referred them to Anthony to represent them in their lawsuits for medical and rehabilitation expenses. So just like I made a commission off people’s cars, I also made a commission off their injury cases.