“Give it some thought, Brody. I can let you take over. For you, I could.”
Brody knew exactly how hard it was for his father to even entertain stepping down, and he knew it was because his father wanted him home. He’d never supported Brody’s dreams of army life, and after his injuries, his father would only worry more, because under all that gruff obstinacy was a heart that beat for his kids. But old dogs didn’t learn new tricks, and Brody didn’t think he deserved a life on the land anyway. He had mistakes to atone for and memories to bury. And that wouldn’t come easy.
His father mounted, and the Mason family heeled their horses forward. An aching heart was a civilian problem. There were men who had given more than he ever had, and if they could have stuck around long enough to face some heartbreak, they’d have been grateful. Somehow, somewhere, he’d atone for his failure, and the next time he promised cover, he’d deliver or he’d die trying.
* * *
THE DAY MATCHED Kaitlyn’s mood. Clouds hung low and tiny shards of snow drifted down from the sky like a mist of frozen tears. The wind was sharp and cold, biting into her knuckles, and she was grateful for the warmth of the horse beneath her. They’d been riding now for nearly an hour, and while being outside in nature was soothing, it hadn’t eased the heaviness inside her. She’d thought that she’d grown used to that particular pain of loving a man she couldn’t have, but apparently not. The burden had shifted, and it was rubbing her raw all over again.
Trees rose on either side, but she could see through the tangle of bare limbs, down a plummeting hill to the creek at the bottom. It burbled over rocks, and a few flat stones that rose above the water were covered in a layer of fresh snow. This was the same trail they rode every year, meandering up the foothills to a clearing that gave them a view of the rolling land. This was tradition. The celebration wasn’t complete without that view.
This year, her heart was sodden in her chest, and even the prospect of that magnificent vista did nothing for her.
He said he loved me, too...
That made it harder, because how much love was enough? How much did he have to love her to overshadow what he’d shared with her sister? The night before, she’d lain in bed and gone over their words, that kiss, tried to remember every detail so she could piece it together, but she’d always come up with the same thing...he’d loved Nina first, and if Nina hadn’t left him, Kaitlyn would be his sister-in-law and a good friend.
And if I didn’t care? That was another question that plagued her. What if she set her reservations aside? Could she love him enough to make up for the past? But even as she entertained the thought, she knew what her deepest fear was...that she’d be the runner-up, the second prize, the one Brody settled for when he couldn’t have his heart’s desire. And no matter how much she loved him, she couldn’t make up for that.
Brody had come for the trail ride with his family, but besides the heavy sadness in his eyes, he’d barely spoken to her. It seemed that their words were used up last night. She could see the tensions playing around him, though. Mr. Mason looked older and sadder, and Mrs. Mason looked like she was trying to cheer them all up, but she wasn’t fooling anyone. Dakota had Andy with her, and they talked in low tones as couples did.
Not everyone shared in the tension, though. Other family members and friends came on the annual trail ride, and the kids were chattering and laughing—weather couldn’t dampen youthful enthusiasm. The older people seemed more inclined to silence or a comment or two as they plodded through the brush, but there was a general sense of satisfaction amongst the rest of the company, echoing the blessing said before last night’s feast: make us truly thankful.
Kaitlyn glanced over her shoulder. Brian rode alone. Nina was at the house with their mother and Aunt Bernice making chili and biscuits for everyone for when they got back.
The snow was falling more heavily now, settling on the rims of hats and then blowing away in a gust of icy wind. Kaitlyn pulled the rim of her hat down to shield her eyes, and she glanced around for the kids.
“Mark! Stay closer to the group!” she shouted to a boy who had ridden farther off.
“I’m in sight!” he called back. Mark was all of twelve, and he wanted his independence.
“It’s snowing harder. One good gust, and you won’t see a thing. Get closer!”
The boy complied and Kaitlyn urged her horse faster as she overtook some of the older people. They were all smart enough to keep to the trail—the kids were the problem.
“Becky! Olivia!”
Two of the girls had ridden down the slope to the creek. It wasn’t deep, but if the snow thickened, it would be slippery to get back up the hill. These were kids who’d been riding since they were toddlers, but they were still kids and thought like kids.
“We’re coming!” Olivia called.
Kaitlyn rode on. Another gust of frigid wind wound its way around her neck and she shivered. They’d probably be smart to turn back now.
“You okay?” Brody asked as she caught up to him, and for a moment, those dark eyes meeting hers brought a flood of relief. But she wouldn’t let herself go—not again.
“I think it might be wise to head back,” she said.
Before he could respond, her father called from ahead, “Let’s turn back!” and Kaitlyn eased her horse into the trees to let the older people pass first. Brody followed her lead.
“I’ll take up the rear,” Kaitlyn said as a swirl of snow turned her world white for a moment, then cleared.
“I’ll stay with you,” Brody said.
“You need to get back to the house,” she countered. “With this cold and your injuries—”
“You aren’t my nurse anymore, Kate.”
She couldn’t make out his expression because he ducked his head against the elements, and she heaved a sigh. He was right, but she still felt responsible for the safety of this group.
“There are some girls down the ravine by the creek,” Kaitlyn said. “I want to make sure they’re back up to the trail. And Mark took off west... Did you see him?”
“There.” Brody pointed and she could make out the kid’s yellow jacket in the group farther ahead. He was with adults—that was what mattered. Brian reined his horse in where Kaitlyn and Brody stood as the last of the riders passed them. Brian wasn’t an experienced rider. He’d been raised in the town of Hope, not on a ranch, and that made a difference in times like these. She felt a little sorry for him, though. He’d been riding alone—attempting to keep up with his new in-laws. He probably had a few hopeful expectations about this trail ride, too, and Kaitlyn was pretty sure it wasn’t exactly living up to them.
“Brian, we’re heading back,” Kaitlyn said. “Just stick to the trail. The snow makes things trickier.”
Brian tugged on his horse’s reins, but the horse didn’t budge. He tugged a little harder, and irritation welled up inside of her. Couldn’t Nina have chosen a guy who could at least handle a horse? Brian was nice enough, but she didn’t have time to babysit her new brother-in-law, either.
“I’ve got to make sure the girls are out of the ravine,” Kaitlyn said, straining her eyes down the slope, but she couldn’t see that far and the snow swirled dangerously. The wind picked up, whisking her words away as she said them. There wasn’t time for this.
“Go,” Brody said. “I’ll take up the rear with Brian.”
“You sure?” He had done a lot of healing but the cold wouldn’t be good for his leg. She had a sudden swell of misgiving.
“Go!” Brody’s voice held an order. “There’s no time. Get the girls and we’ll meet up with you in the pasture.”
Kaitlyn met his gaze and saw steely reserve there. She was worrying about him because she was in the habit of doing so, and this wasn’t the time for sorting through her emotions. Brody wasn’t hers to worry about, and he’d made t
hat clear enough the night before. There were kids that needed to be accounted for, and Brody was right—there was no time.
“Okay...” She gathered up her reins. “I’ll see you there.”
And she kicked her horse into motion.
“Olivia!” she shouted. “Becky!”
There was no answer, and she pushed forward into the ever-thickening snow. She took one last look back and saw Brody’s gaze fixed on her, his expression granite, but his eyes betrayed the turmoil under that stubborn reserve.
He felt it, too.
Chapter Fourteen
A swirl of snow obliterated Kaitlyn from view, and for a split second, Brody felt like he was back on the front lines again. Except Afghanistan was hot, and the wind there whipped up sand instead of snow, but that feeling of isolation was the same—exposed to the elements, blinded by the wind, his shoulder blades tingling, waiting for the bullet of some unseen enemy. There was always the chance that a sniper was patiently waiting, crosshairs on your back...
He could remember several times when he’d made a dash for it as bullets whistled past his head. Three more inches, and he would have been dead. And then there was the time Jeff shot a sniper that had him in the crosshairs while he was relieving himself. He’d survived Afghanistan, but sometimes he wondered how he’d managed it. There was the backup provided by a good buddy, but it wasn’t just that... Of all the men who didn’t make it, why had he?
“Brody—” Brian was looking at him, concern on his face. “You okay, man?”
“Fine.” Brody shot him what he hoped passed for an annoyed look. These moments came upon him unexpectedly, swallowing his emotions in a different time and place. He sucked in a wavering breath and rotated his shoulders, refocusing on the man in front of him. Brian was watching him closely—too closely, and now the annoyance was genuine. He wasn’t a danger to anyone out here. He wasn’t going to suddenly snap, or something.
“You sure? You look...kind of pale.”
Great. The last thing he needed was for Brian to see weakness. Brian’s horse’s ears flattened against its head as a low howl of wind circled around them. Brian should be worrying a little more about his horse and a little less about him.
“Let’s get your horse out of the trees. He doesn’t like being hemmed in.”
Brody leaned forward to grab the bridle, and his leg burned in protest. He still felt vulnerable, his back exposed. Anxiety simmered just under the surface, and he tried to push it back, but that never worked. It wasn’t a matter of sheer mental force. It took self-reminders.
There were no snipers in these woods. There was no enemy. He was on American soil—safe. His brain knew this, but his body hadn’t adjusted to the new normal yet.
“How’s your leg?” Brian asked.
So he assumed it was physical pain? Just as well Brian didn’t guess at how deep all this went.
“Better than it was,” Brody said wryly.
“I heard it was bad,” Brian said. “You said you lost some buddies in that explosion, too.”
“You want to talk about that here?” Brody demanded. That was personal, and Brian had lost all rights to ask anything personal.
“You should talk to someone,” Brian said.
“Not you.” They exchanged a long look, then Brody nodded toward the horse. “Let me take the reins and I’ll lead you out to the path—”
The wind moaned, the sound coming from every direction at once. The horse’s eyes rolled in terror, and it pawed at the ground, whinnying and rearing up. A branch overhead creaked, and Brody’s leg spasmed. His cold fingers fumbled with the leather and he clenched his teeth against the pain, but as he let go of the bridle, Brian’s horse spun and bolted into the trees.
It all happened so quickly that Brody was left staring at Brian’s back as the horse galloped away.
Brody muttered an oath and his heartbeat sped up, but this time it was warranted. Brian was on a spooked horse running pell-mell into a forest in the middle of blinding snow. He had a choice—go back to the trail and hope that Brian’s horse would find its way out of the forest, or go after them.
I’ve got your back, man...
Brody had made the promise as Jeff crept into the empty road, and Brody had sat there in the shelter of the truck’s shade, his gun trained on the shrubs and shadows ahead. If one so much as moved, he’d send a bullet straight into it, but it hadn’t been a sniper that time...it had been a mine.
A soldier didn’t leave another soldier out there alone—no one left behind. In battle, you did what you had to do.
Digging his heels into Champ’s sides, Brody wheeled the stallion around and plunged into the woods in the direction Brian had disappeared.
* * *
KAITLYN SHOOK THE snow from her jacket and kicked her boots against the step. The horses were being groomed by the stable hands, and the kids were already in the living room chattering about their adventure. Mark was telling the story of not being able to see a thing and having to follow the sound of voices to get back to the trail, but the wind kept whipping their calls in every direction.
Yes, quite the adventure. Kaitlyn hung her hat on a peg and shut the door behind her. Youthful enthusiasm didn’t take into account that being caught in a blizzard when the temperature plunged could be fatal.
“Are Brody and Brian back?” Kaitlyn called into the kitchen.
“What?” Nina came to the doorway and looked around the mudroom. “Aren’t they with you?”
A rock of worry settled into Kaitlyn’s belly and she shook her head. “They were coming up behind while I went to make sure the girls got up from the creek—” She rubbed her cold hands together. “I was held up trying to get Becky’s horse over a slippery spot where she couldn’t get footing, so when I didn’t see Brody and Brian at the pasture, I’d assumed they’d come on ahead of us.”
“They aren’t here.” Nina’s voice wavered. “Brian doesn’t know those woods—”
“—but Brody does,” Sandra Harpe countered, coming into the mudroom. “Brody is an army-trained soldier and he knows that land. If anyone is qualified to bring Brian back, it’s Brody.”
But Brody was wounded, and Kaitlyn could see that the same thing had occurred to both her mother and sister. Brody had taken up the rear with Brian, but there was a man recovering from a serious injury with a man who didn’t know the woods...and they hadn’t come back.
“I’m going to find them—” Nina grabbed a coat, and Kaitlyn and her mother exchanged a look. It was a nice sentiment, but a pregnant woman wasn’t going to do much on her own besides harm her baby.
“You’d better stay,” their mother said. “You’re pregnant. Now is not the time to push it. The men will go look, but you’d better stay.”
“I’m supposed to just sit here?” Nina demanded. “My husband is out there, and people die in blizzards, Mom. I’m going!”
For once, Kaitlyn agreed with her sister. She wasn’t about to sit in the house and wait on someone else to find them, either.
“I’m going, too,” Kaitlyn said with a shake of her head. “I’ll take her in the truck with me. Don’t worry, she’ll be fine.”
“Tell the others,” Sandra said, her tone turning brisk. “I’ll keep the kids here, and the rest of you go together. You two aren’t going alone, either. Ron!” She turned away, calling her husband. “Ron! Brody and Brian are still out there!”
The next few minutes were spent with hurried explanations and plans being made for the aunts and uncles to form a search party along the edge of the woods. They’d bring rope to tie around their waists so they could find their way back again, and flashlights—as much use as they’d be in that blinding snow.
Before ten minutes had passed, Kaitlyn and Nina were in the ranch truck, bumping down the gravel road toward the pasture. Kaitlyn
knew this stretch better than anyone, and she could drive it blindfolded if necessary, but still she leaned forward, clutching the steering wheel and squinting to see as much as possible through the swirling snowflakes. Windshield wipers whipped back and forth in a futile effort to clear their view.
“I begged Brian not to go with you,” Nina said bitterly. “He should have stayed with me. I told him it would be no use. All he wanted was a chance to bond with the family...”
Guilt pricked at Kaitlyn’s composure. She’d noticed Brian’s attempts to make nice, but she’d had bigger things on her mind. Nina was right—he’d been on that ride to fit in, make a start with the family, and while a few uncles had chatted with him a bit, he hadn’t made much headway. And Kaitlyn hadn’t done much to make him feel welcome. To be honest, he wasn’t terribly welcome. He’d swooped in and taken something that wasn’t his, and while Nina had married him, everyone else knew the truth. And if there were sides to take, Kaitlyn landed solidly on Brody’s. As ironic as that was, considering that she was in love with the man...
“It’s the timing,” Kaitlyn said. “You two waltz back right when Brody is back from Afghanistan. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I was focused on my own problems.”
“Yours?” Nina snapped. “What problems?”
Was her sister serious? Did she really think that Kaitlyn had no problems of her own? Nina’s problems were of her own making...she stirred up drama everywhere she stepped!
“Brody?” Nina guessed. “Is that it? Everyone’s so worried about how Brody was going to take it? I get it, but what you don’t know—”
“Do you really get it?” Kaitlyn shot back. “Because you didn’t seem to be thinking about him at all!”
Kaitlyn had been, though. Not an hour passed during the last year that Kaitlyn hadn’t been thinking about Brody and praying for his safety. Someone had to...his fiancée sure didn’t seem inclined.
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