Behind the Scandal

by M.A. Stacie

  “Me, too. You first.”

  Libby shot him a frown before looking back to the road and turning the corner. “Me first, what?”

  “You first to tell me what’s going on in your head.”

  Libby shook her head. “You don’t want to know.”

  “Or you don’t want to share.” Taylor sighed. “I know I’ve been an asshole. I’ve been mean to you, as well as others, but I don’t want you to think that kiss meant nothing. If that’s what you were thinking. I see what I’ve done. I get that I have to make changes. I’m going to start.”

  “What were you thinking about?” she asked.

  Taylor debated ignoring her—after all, she didn’t want to share her thoughts but expected him to confess his. But he realized he needed to be the one to take the first step. He had to show her the other side to him—the side that wasn’t a complete bastard.

  “I was thinking about my mother and brother,” he said. “And how shitty I’ve been. To everyone.”

  Libby gave a light laugh. “Did that kiss give you a moment of clarity?”

  “Something like that. I suppose I never wanted to see the truth. Still don’t. It can be a real bitter pill to swallow.”

  “Why now?”

  Shrugging, Taylor said, “I don’t know. The reality was just there, and the more I think about the past, the more I see. I spoke to Josh earlier. I’m going to speak to my father about getting help.”

  “Oh, like what? Does that mean you’ll be a different man from now on?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Libby nodded, keeping her eyes fixed on the road ahead. He was even more mixed up now then he’d been snorting coke in Sea Pointe. He didn’t have a single clue what to do next, he’d messed up so much. Taylor wondered if this moment of clarity was just due to the lack of coke. He’d been at the ranch for weeks now, enough time for the toxins to drain out of his system. He still longed for the drugs, and his nose still suffered the aftereffects of snorting it, but over the last day or two something had shifted within him. The new awareness sucked.

  “Your turn,” Taylor said, trying to focus on something other than himself.

  “It wasn’t anything important. Just being a little self-absorbed.”

  She turned down a street, heading toward the large building up ahead before parking on the side of the road. Taylor twisted in the seat, facing her and seeing nothing but worry on her face.

  “You’re lying to me.” He lifted his hand and clasped the back of her neck. “You can tell me. I’m not a total fuckup.”

  Libby exhaled, her body sagging as she lowered her forehead onto the steering wheel. Her knuckles turned white from her grip on it. “I know you’re not.”

  “So tell me what’s wrong before Levi’s school lets out.”

  Her red hair fell forward when she shook her head again, blocking her face from view, and he had the distinct impression he was getting nowhere. Keeping his hand on her neck, he massaged the taut muscles with his thumb and fingers.

  Libby sighed. “That feels nice,” she whispered.

  “Nice? I hate that word. What kind of description is nice?”

  She turned to face him, her cheek relaxed against the steering wheel. Her eyes fluttered closed as she inhaled deeply. “Nice is exactly how your fingers feel on my skin.”

  She caught her slip at the exact moment Taylor smirked. “Oh really? You like my fingers on you, huh?”

  “Don’t get too excited. I still haven’t decided whether I like you yet.”

  “So there’s hope for me?” He continued to massage her neck while he waited for her response. It was important to him. She didn’t know yet about the mess Taylor had made of his life, but he needed to believe she thought there was hope. That someone saw pieces of the person he could be. Even though he didn’t know who that person was.

  Libby sat up and glanced toward the school before turning her attention to Taylor. The movement dislodged his hand, so he withdrew it, hoping she would protest and ask him to keep going.

  “There’s hope for everyone, I think. The real issue is what you do with that hope.”

  Taylor scowled. “Huh?”

  “Well, what’s the point in having hope if you waste it by fucking up and hurting people?”

  Pain marred her expression, but just for a second before she locked it down. Taylor hummed, receiving an inquisitive look from Libby. “What?”

  Taylor pointed his finger at her. “You have a story.”

  “Not one I’m willing to share. Now shut up. Levi’s coming out.” She lowered the window and drove into the school parking lot. Levi stood still, watching as she got closer. A huge smile lit up his face when his teacher let him go to her. He rushed forward, jumping with excitement.

  “We’ll resume this conversation later,” Taylor muttered as Levi reached the car.

  “No, we won’t.”

  Libby reached out and touched her son’s face. He grinned, his cheeks rosy from the crisp wind. “Hey, Taylor!”

  “Hey, brat. How was today? Do I need to kick any kid’s ass?”

  “Taylor!” Libby shouted.

  Levi giggled and climbed into the backseat. He buckled himself in and told his mom he was ready before she restarted the engine. Taylor twisted his head around to see whether the bullies had kept away from the kid. “So do I need to go into school, or was today okay?”

  Levi shook his head, tugging his backpack onto his lap. “Aster wasn’t in class today, so all of the kids were fine. I even played with them at recess.”

  “So it’s just that Aster spawn who causes the problems?”

  Levi nodded. “But it’s okay now. Mrs. Banks is watching me, and she told all of the class that bullies are bad people. Do you know that if she catches any of them being nasty they’ll have to go and see the principal? He’s scary.”

  Libby snorted. “I bet he is.” She steered the car away from the sidewalk and into traffic. Levi started to chat about his day and the fun he’d had without the worry of being picked on. Taylor enjoyed seeing the kid so animated, but when he looked at Libby, her expression was serious. She didn’t seem to be listening, and he was tempted to ask what was wrong.

  Something had been off since their kiss, and maybe that was her problem. He considered it for a moment. If their closeness were an issue, he would have expected her to shrug off his touch earlier. But she hadn’t. In fact she’d encouraged it. Then she’d made that comment about fucking up and hurting people. She’d let slip another side to her, one that both puzzled and intrigued him.

  “You okay?” he asked, his voice sounding rough.

  “You ask that a lot.” She looked quickly at him, then back at the road. “I’m fine.”

  “And yet your body language tells me you’re anything but. Tell me.”

  “Not here,” she whispered, cocking her head toward the backseat.

  “Fine.” He placed his hand on her thigh, feeling it stiffen in response. “After Levi is in bed I’ll meet you on the porch.”

  “Let’s just drop it,” she asked, moving her thigh so he moved his hand.

  He considered doing as she’d asked. After all, he wasn’t here for long, so why should he get involved with her issues? Nevertheless, the more he thought about her, and the more he saw the worry etched on her face, the more he knew he couldn’t let it go.

  “I can’t,” he said.

  Libby frowned. “Can’t what?”

  “I refuse to drop the conversation. You will talk to me, Blue, and I’ll be waiting. I’ve been honest with you.”

  Libby didn’t respond. Instead, she struck up a conversation with her son and blocked Taylor out. He let her. She couldn’t run forever.

  Chapter 10

  “Levi, I’m not joking. I’ve asked you at least four times now to get undressed and into the shower.”

  Levi sneered, continuing to play on his game console.

  “I warned you I’d unplug it.”

  “You can’t. It’s not sa
ved.”

  Placing her hands on her hips, Libby glared at her son. “Last chance, Levi.”

  He grumbled and switched off the game. Libby watched him stalk toward the bathroom, his shoulders slumped as he hung his head. Guilt twisted within her. She knew she shouldn’t feel that way—she was the parent. Still, when it came to her son, she felt forever guilty, always pondering if she made the right choice to build a life here.

  “Do you need me to wash your hair?” she asked through the bathroom door.

  Levi didn’t reply. The shower switched on, and she heard his clothes hitting the back of the door. Clenching her teeth, she told herself not to make a big deal, to walk away and ignore his tantrum. He was almost seven. He could shower by himself, and going to help him would only aggravate him further. She’d learned long ago that moody men shouldn’t be goaded.

  “I’ll go and check on dinner. Shout if you need anything.”

  Again, he didn’t respond, leaving her to walk back to the kitchen feeling somewhat mean. Arguing with Levi was the last thing she needed today. After her sighting of Chase, she’d been jittery and panicked. She still was as she tried to work out what to do next. She didn’t want to leave the ranch—to leave Josh—but her choices were limited. Chase was close, scarily close. Self-preservation, along with the deep-seated need to protect her child, urged her to flee. She’d done it before, and without a doubt she could do it again.

  She just didn’t want to.

  She loved living at Lone Tree, adored the bright outdoors of Hunter’s Hollow, and had grown fond of Josh. Levi looked up to him as a surrogate grandfather. But if she stayed, she’d bring trouble here and risk everything she’d built up. Not to mention her concern that Chase might see Levi. But she didn’t even know whether she had the strength to leave. Sure, she’d done it before, but never with a six-year-old in tow. How could she explain it to Levi?

  Swallowing hard, she lowered herself to the kitchen floor and opened the cabinet under the sink. Libby reached past the cleaning products and sponges, fumbling around until she touched the metal box she was searching for. Grasping the edge, Libby started to pull it from the cabinet, but a firm knock on the door startled her. She dropped the box, and bottles of cleaning products fell onto the floor.

  Glancing toward the front door, she tried to hear something over the rapid thump of her pulse. A small whimper escaped her lips, and another knock echoed around the room. Her chest tightened, and her breaths came shallow and quick. She looked across the countertops, searching for her cell phone.

  “Blue?” Another knock. “Are you in there?”

  The air whooshed from her lungs when she heard Taylor’s deep voice. A tear slipped down her cheek, the knot in her stomach unraveling as she stood up. Her legs were a little unsteady, making her feel like a newborn colt.

  “Your lights are on. Let me in, Lib. I just want to talk.”

  Libby swiped the tear away and made her way to the front door. The sound of the shower switching off, followed by Levi’s wet feet hitting the floor, filtered through the bathroom door. Hoping Levi had actually cleaned himself, she waited until she saw him exit the room before she started to unlock the front door. “Put your pajamas on. Taylor’s here.”

  Her son’s bottom lip stuck out as he nodded his head. He was still angry at her, but she didn’t have time to mull over it now. Combing her fingers through her hair, she glanced down at herself and winced. Bleach had splattered her jeans, and the denim had discolored in splashes across her thighs.

  “Dammit,” she whispered as she opened the door.

  “That’s some greeting, babe. I feel real welcome.” He grinned, already starting to unbutton his coat.

  “Sorry. I just noticed my jeans.” Libby ushered him into the house. “Wow, it’s cold out there.”

  “That’s why I wore my coat.”

  Libby walked back into the kitchen, her heavy sense of foreboding dissipating in Taylor’s presence. She reached for a cloth and dabbed at the denim, yet she knew it would do nothing. Her jeans were ruined.

  “Looking for something?” Taylor pointed toward the scattered bottles and sprays on the floor.

  “The source of my disaster. I guess my jeans are heading for the trash now. I liked these ones, too. They make my ass . . .” Libby bit her lip and then clamped her mouth shut.

  “Really?” Taylor leaned his hip against the small island in the center of the kitchen. “Good to know, but I think your ass looks fine in any jeans. Not just those.”

  Libby felt her skin heat, and she was no doubt turning pink with embarrassment. She fumbled for something to say to change the topic of conversation. “Um, wh-what can I do for you?”

  Taylor smirked and touched the tip of her nose with his finger. “Forgotten already?”

  “I must have, because I have no idea.” She turned her back and began to put the products back under the sink. She could hear Taylor shuffling behind her, feel his body near to hers. The hairs on her arms stood up as a small shiver raced down her spine. Her reaction to him was growing by the day, and each time they were together it intensified. She had too much going on in her life right now, and her lust for Taylor made everything more complicated.

  “I said we’d talk.”

  “Oh, no,” she said, shaking her head. “Levi is still awake, I have dinner yet to serve, and I’m not in the mood for confessing my life story to you.”

  “Okay, I’ll shelve it. For now.” He inhaled. “I thought something smelled good. Do I have to beg for an invite? Josh made rocks.”

  Libby looked up and laughed. “What kind of rocks?”

  He passed her a bottle of bleach and squatted down to her level. His words rumbled across her skin. “Josh said they were baked potatoes, but trust me, they were rocks from the yard. I broke my knife trying to cut it, and now I’m famished.”

  Taylor offered her another bottle from the floor.

  “You’re always hungry,” she said.

  “No wonder! Have you tried to eat the garbage Uncle Josh serves up? Please tell me you’ve made something amazing and that I can stay.”

  “You can stay. As long as you keep being civil. I don’t like the angry Taylor.” She took a deep breath when she saw he held the metal box. She tried to hide the tremor in her hand as she reached out, battling to be nonchalant. Taylor rarely missed a thing, so if she acted like it was important, he would call her on it.

  Taylor winked and pulled the box back when she made a grab for it. “Important?”

  “Gimme a break. It’s just a box,” she said, tearing it from his hands and putting it back behind the products. She slammed to cabinet door closed, stood, and stepped over to check the lasagna in the oven.

  “Good freaking Lord, that smells delicious.” To prove his point, Taylor’s stomach growled.

  “Wow, that’s some reaction,” Libby said, laughing. With the help of a cloth, she lifted the hot pan from the oven and placed it on the counter. Ribbons of cheese-scented steam rose and floated around the room, making Taylor’s stomach rumble again. Libby opened her mouth to speak just when Levi came racing into the room, his damp curls bouncing around his face.

  “Taylor!” Levi pulled a stool from underneath the island and climbed onto it. “Whatcha doing?”

  “Pestering me,” Libby said. “Just like you.” Libby glanced at Taylor. “Are you okay to eat here? I could move to the table, but Levi and I normally—”

  Taylor placed his hand on her shoulder. “I’m more than happy to eat here. I need food, Blue.”

  She picked up a knife to cut into the lasagna. “Then you can fetch the plates and forks. They’re on the shelf over there.” She pointed with the knife.

  “If that’s all it takes for you to feed me, I’ll happily pay up.”

  Determined to forget her sighting of Chase, along with the box under the sink, Libby smiled. “I didn’t say that was the cost. I’ll take it as a tip.”

  Her stomach flip-flopped when he grinned at her. “Then you
should name your price, and I’ll keep hoping it’s not too expensive.”

  They all settled around the island, Taylor taking a place on a stool next to her. She dished out the food and poured some dressing onto the salad before serving that, too. Levi’s face contorted at the amount of green leaves on his plate, and to her surprise it was Taylor who told him to eat it. Even more of a shock was that Levi did as Taylor demanded. Her son and Taylor seemed to have bonded.

  His drug use still concerned her, and she was prepared to question him about it, but now wasn’t the time. Levi didn’t need to know about that side to Taylor. All her son saw was someone who was fun, someone who wanted to be his friend.

  “I don’t know, kid. You’re asking the wrong guy.” Taylor shrugged and chewed on a bite of lasagna. He groaned with satisfaction, the sound causing her insides to dance and twirl.

  “What’s up?” Libby asked, enjoying the way Taylor licked his lips and grinned over at her.

  “Levi wants to know about baseball. Told him I have no idea. I’m not the sporty kind. My father wasn’t the type to take us to ball games or enroll us in Little League.”

  “What about your mom?”

  Taylor lowered his gaze to his plate and dragged his fork across the salad leaves. “Mom wasn’t in the picture. She . . . she died. Cancer. I don’t remember her at all, really.”

  Libby placed her hand over his and whispered, “I’m sorry, Taylor. That must have been difficult for you.”

  “Not really. I was so young. I have no memories of her, just pictures Kyran’s showed me.”

  “Just because you don’t remember her doesn’t mean it’s not hard on you. You had to live with just one parent.” She ignored the voice inside her head telling her Levi was in the same situation.

  Taylor turned toward her, his brilliant blue eyes sad. “Not even one. Kyran cared for me when the nanny was busy. Dad worked. A lot.”

  “Oh, I see.” She didn’t know what else to say. It explained why Taylor and his brother had such a volatile relationship. They were confused as to what a normal sibling relationship was. Not that she had any idea. She had no brothers and sisters, and the only parent she had lived so far away her past could never catch up with her.