Behind the Scandal

by M.A. Stacie

  Josh patted Taylor on the shoulder before walking the front door. Taylor knocked his head back against the wall again, hoping the slight pain would bring about some clarity. It did, but he wasn’t sure it was the answer he sought.

  After he and Kyran had found common ground, it would be foolish and cruel to miss the wedding.

  He had to go.

  Chapter 22

  “Wake up, Blue,” Taylor whispered, kissing his way up Libby’s spine. “I have to talk to you.”

  She murmured and stretched, but his attempt to rouse her failed. He told himself three a.m. was far from the right time to have a chat, but the need to look at her was too much. Soon he would be without her, so he needed to overdose on her first. He needed more memories.

  He skimmed a solitary finger along her back, starting at the nape of her neck. Each vertebra undulated, her ass elevating as she hummed.

  “Wake up, baby, wake up.”

  He gripped her hip and pulled her back to his front and spooned her. Kissing a path along her shoulder, he palmed her breast and grazed his thumb across her nipple as his cock grew hard against her rear. Damn, he was going to miss this.

  He sucked her earlobe into his mouth and flicked his tongue against her flesh. Her sweet taste burst across his tongue, inciting his desire. He nipped at her, ready to ask her to wake again, when she began to stir. He trailed kisses over her shoulder.

  “Is there something wrong?” she asked, her voice scratchy from slumber.

  “I want you.”

  Libby rolled to face him and raised her hand to cup his face. “You woke me because you want me? We only fell asleep a couple of hours ago.”

  “I can’t help it. I feel it closing in, and I need . . .” He gulped. “I have to stop it.”

  “What’s closing in?” She inhaled sharply, pulling her hand away. “Oh God, Taylor, are you wanting the drugs? Is that why you’ve been moody one minute and clingy the next?”

  He grasped her hand before she could recoil and shook his head, hoping she could see in the dim light. “No. I don’t want the coke. It’s not about that. It’s about us.”

  Her body relaxed. “Oh, then wha—”

  “My time is almost up. My six months are basically done, and I don’t know what to do next. I’m confused.”

  “We’ve both known from the start this had an expiration date.” She kissed his lips. “I’ll hate it, but I’ll understand. You do what you have to.”

  “But being without you is not something I want to do right now.” He hugged her close.

  “So what are you saying?” she whispered against his ear.

  He took a deep breath, filling his nostrils with her scent. “That I don’t want this to end.”

  She reared back to see his face, her eyes wide. “I don’t . . . um, are you telling me that you’re staying?”

  “I have no fucking idea what I’m saying.”

  “Then why the hell are you waking me up?”

  He grinned. The knot in his stomach tightening. “I’d forgotten how gorgeous you are and woke you so that I’d remember.”

  “Back to using the charm, huh? Well, it’s not going to help at this hour. Next time have a real reason.”

  Taylor stared at her, his heart aching with each beat. “I am going to miss you so much.” He curled a lock of her hair around his finger, watching the strands smooth across his skin.

  “So come back.”

  Scared he hadn’t heard right, Taylor waited to see if she would elaborate. When she didn’t, he said, “Excuse me? Did you just ask me to stay? Here? With you and Levi?”

  His heart began to beat rapidly as random thoughts began to form in his head. Was her suggestion even possible?

  “Just because the six months are up doesn’t mean you have to go back to Sea Pointe, does it?”

  “Josh said something similar when I spoke to him.”

  “How long have you been working through this?” Libby asked, stroking her hand over his shoulder and along his arm. She tickled her fingers against his before entwining them.

  “Days. Weeks. Then I spoke to Josh, and he looked to be in pain. I thought that was my answer—to tell people I have to stay to help him out. But that’s bullshit, and it’s not really making a decision.”

  Libby tilted her head. “Josh was hurting?”

  “Seemed that way. Not that he’d admit it. He told me he was old, but I’m worried.”

  “So come back,” she repeated. “Help your uncle and . . . and be like this with me.”

  “It’s that easy?” He squeezed her fingers. “And what would that mean for us, if I did come back?”

  “It would mean we’d get to see what’s between us, I guess.”

  “You guess?”

  She giggled when he nuzzled her throat. “That’s all you’re getting. Deal with it.” Taylor nipped along her shoulder and groaned when Libby let go of his hand and pushed her fingers into his hair. “Did I help with your decision making?”

  “I guess,” he said, moving his lips down over her breast and toward her nipple. She arched her back and thrust her chest closer to his mouth. He licked his lips, desperate for a taste but loving the anticipation.

  “Do you want me to stay, Libby?”

  Libby froze and, for a moment, chewed on her lower lip. Her silence wasn’t what he’d expected, and the longer it dragged on, the more he panicked. He started to wonder if he’d read the whole situation wrong. Again. He loved her; he knew that without question. But maybe she didn’t reciprocate. She wouldn’t be the only woman to have shunned him. He had a history there, and right now history could be about to repeat itself.

  “Blue? Talk to me.”

  Libby pushed herself back toward the head of the bed to put some space between them. Taylor clenched his teeth, telling himself it might not mean what he was thinking.

  Hope bloomed when she reached out and linked their fingers together, just as they had been moments before. “I can’t tell you what to do, Taylor.”

  “I’m not asking you to. All I’m asking is whether you want me to stay here. You said so matter-of-factly that I could come back—that I could work out whatever’s going on with us, so did that mean you want me to?”

  Her eyes fluttered closed as she tightened her hold on his fingers. “You’re not playing fair.”

  “This isn’t a game.” He waited until she looked at him before continuing. “All I want is to know what you want. Shit, babe, remember my issue? Reading signals wrong? Well, I’m asking because I’m reading all kinds of stuff from you, seeing a shitload of green lights, but then I second-guess myself. Am I seeing them?”

  She exhaled and nodded her confirmation. Taylor smiled, pulling her closer to him. “That’s good. Real good.”

  “It still doesn’t mean I’ll tell you to,” she said. “I refuse to make demands of anyone. I had that done to me for so long that I know what that’s like, and I won’t put anyone else through the same thing.”

  “It’s not the same thing,” he said. “You’re not demanding, you’re stating what you would like. No one is saying I have to do what you say. Christ, cut me some slack. I’m new to feeling like this. I’m asking for some give and take. Please, babe.”

  Her throat constricted as she swallowed. “New to feeling what?”

  He skimmed his finger along her arm and watched the goose bumps appear. “That. The butterflies, the stomach-fluttering excitement. I know you feel it, too. I can see it on your skin when I touch you.” He took a deep breath. “Never have I had this sort of reaction to another person. Libby Karlin, you rock my world.”

  She snorted. “You’re crazy.”

  “Yup. Totally. The drugs rotted so many of my brain cells I’m shocked I still know my name.” This time when he pulled her closer, she came willingly. He placed his arm across her shoulder, hugged her close, and rested his chin on top of her head. “I mean it. I think about you all the time. You distract the hell out of me. And I realized I’ve been hiding—we
both have. Me behind the drugs and detox, and you behind your past. Both of us should draw a big fat line and move on from that shit. I’m different now. I bet you are, too.” He hooked a finger under her chin and tilted her head upward. “Let’s be new. Let’s be us.”

  Her moss-green eyes narrowed as she assessed him. “Would we need new names?”

  He blinked, her response very different from the one he’d expected. Laughter rose within his chest and roared out when he opened his mouth.

  She smiled. “I used a couple of different names when I first ran from Chase. Strange I never felt the need when I met Josh.” She pondered for moment as Taylor’s laughter died down. “How about Florence? Could I pass for a Florence?”

  Taylor laughed again and shook his head. “I don’t see you as a Florence, no. But why on earth would we need to change our names?”

  “Because we’re going to be the new us. You could be Steve.”

  “The hell I can! I’m rather attached to the name I have.”

  “Bummer.”

  Taylor stroked his thumb over her chin and watched her pupils dilate. Would he ever grow weary of the way she made him feel? Would the passion always be this strong? He hoped it would never fade, even though it would mean making a life-altering decision or two.

  He brought his lips to hers and kissed her with a gentle, slow thoroughness. He scooted them around and pressed her back into the mattress as he hovered above her. She looked up at him, her gaze hooded as she caressed his back. “You can have more of that,” he rasped, pressing his erection against her as he rolled his hips. “So much more. But you’ve gotta talk to me. You’ve got to tell me what you want.”

  “I want you,” she said on an exhale as she scrunched her eyes closed. “I don’t want to, but I do. I’m confused by all of this. I’ve never had these feelings. Shit, I’m a mess.”

  Taylor cupped her face. “Open your eyes. See me. You don’t ever need to be confused or scared. You’ve given me what no one else has. You’ve helped change me, and I want to see where this goes. Me and you.”

  “But you’re leaving.”

  “For three days. Just three days. Okay?”

  Her bottom lip wobbled as she nodded. “Three days,” he said before kissing her again.

  Dammit, he was coming back, and when he did he would tell her how he felt. Taylor would tell her that he loved her. “Now, come on, Flo. Let’s lighten the mood and have a little fun. Then we’ll work this shit out.”

  Chapter 23

  The “shit” Taylor talked about never got sorted out. Instead, Libby counted the hours until she had to say goodbye to Taylor. She’d watched him working on the ranch, wondering how empty the place would feel without his presence. He’d made himself irreplaceable, and he didn’t even realize it. She and Josh leaned on him, not just physically, but emotionally, too. Taylor had used their dependence on him to bury his own issues and help him push through all the pain that racked his body.

  He was stronger than he gave himself credit for.

  She’d wanted to beg him to stay. He meant far more to her than she was willing to admit, but life had a way of biting her on the ass. No matter what she was feeling for him, Libby fought against exposing herself to the hurt that could come. It made her gutless, and she knew it. But having been hurt in the worst possible way, she found it hard to see past the pain.

  Taylor offered her moments of clarity, of pure bliss that had her thinking of the future. He was there in every daydream, holding her close and giving her the strength she lacked.

  “He’ll come back, Lib,” Josh said from behind her, and she startled. She’d been staring at Taylor’s duffel bag, sitting on the kitchen table. “He barely packed anything in that little bag of his. See?”

  Libby scrunched her eyes closed to block it out. “I know.” She sighed and turned her back on Taylor’s belongings to face Josh. “But it feels like the end.”

  “You two should talk.”

  “We have. It doesn’t make this feel any less final.”

  Josh rubbed the back of his neck, grimacing. “What’s Levi said?”

  “That’s the funny thing. Levi thinks it’s one big adventure. Taylor promised to call him every night from the hotel. They even talked about doing a video chat so that Levi can see where Taylor is staying. They’re so close now.”

  “Libby, this isn’t going to pan out the way you see it in that head of yours. Taylor isn’t that scumbag you were running from. My nephew is messed up, but he’s not cruel.”

  “I know. I’m just messed up.”

  Josh smirked. “That’s what love does to you.”

  Libby shook her head. “Don’t, Josh. Not now.”

  “Why not now? You two do nothing but dance around one another.” He placed a hand on her shoulder and lowered his head until she made eye contact. “You may have talked, but I don’t believe either of you were totally honest. If you had been, you wouldn’t be so confused.”

  He had a point.

  “I can’t talk about this now. He’s leaving. Today. I’m worried.”

  “About?”

  Libby shrugged off Josh’s hand and spoke lowly. “He’s traveling alone.” Her breath hitched. “He’s worked so hard to rid himself of that horrible stuff. But what if he can’t control the longing when we’re not around? Wh-what if he—”

  “Not liking the lack of faith here, Blue.”

  Her face burned as she turned to face Taylor. He scowled.

  “I didn’t—”

  “What?” he asked, raising a brow. “You didn’t know I could hear you? That much is obvious.”

  “I’m concerned, that’s all.”

  Taylor nodded, his eyes darting away from hers for an instant to watch Josh leave the room. Her skin prickled with dread. She should have talked through her worries with him. Instead, she’d let the doubt rot away inside and then foolishly blurted it out.

  “I could have found something else,” he said, shoving his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. It reminded her of when he’d first arrived. He would pocket his hands to keep from touching her. She hated that he needed to do that now.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Drugs. I could have found something else. Liquor, online gambling—you get my drift? I didn’t. Every single day I wake up, the longing never really leaves me, but I bite it back and force myself through the day. Every single step takes all the strength I have, so don’t you dare insinuate I’m so weak I can’t keep myself in check. You of all people should know what it took for me. Don’t you have any faith?”

  Her stomach knotted painfully, a lump lodging tight in her throat. “I do. Shit, Taylor, I do.”

  He smirked at the curse she let rip.

  “It’s just, you haven’t been out there on your own. You haven’t tried without Josh . . . without me. I’m scared for you. Petrified.”

  Libby stepped forward and clutched at the front of his shirt. He shot her a pained expression and gripped her wrists.

  “From the start you knew I could get through the pain the detox caused. You knew I was strong enough. Don’t fail me now. Believe I have the willpower to stay the fuck away from that shit. Believe I understand what snorting it again will cost me.”

  She blinked back tears and held him a little tighter. “Cost?”

  “You, Blue.” He pressed his lips against hers in a tender kiss. “It would cost me you. Levi.” He gestured around the room. “This. I’m not willing to do that.”

  “I wasn’t doubting you, I swear. Please don’t be mad at me.”

  “Never.” He smiled. “Well, rarely. I’d rather you spoke to me about it. Walking in on a conversation about me isn’t the nicest goodbye I’ve ever had.”

  Libby gulped. “You’re ready to go?”

  “Afraid so. Kyran and I will end up chewing each other out again if I’m late.” He exhaled. “I still don’t know why you won’t come with me.”

  “Levi has school.”

  “And Josh is capable
of looking after him for a few days.”

  Libby shook her head. “I’m not leaving Levi. No way. And I’m not changing my mind. I should be here. I need to know everything is okay. That he’s gone, and Levi and I are safe. I won’t leave him, or here, until this has all ended.”

  Taylor folded his arms around her, bringing her into the warmth of his body. She was going to miss him every hour of every day. She breathed in his scent, unable to speak without her sadness showing.

  He was tuned in to her in a way no one else ever had. Or maybe it was because she’d finally stopped hiding, she’d opened her eyes to the world around her, and he was the one standing in front of her. Taylor Reese gave her hope, just like her son did. She couldn’t be without either one of them.

  They were hers. Family.

  Inhaling, Libby mustered the courage she needed. She was tired of dipping her toe in the water. “Taylor?”

  “Yes?”

  “Hurry back.” She placed his Stetson on his head and flicked up the brim so she could see into his brilliant blue eyes. “I have something to confess, but you can’t have it until you come back to me. Until you come home.”

  He pulled her closer, hugging her hard. “Home. That sounds pretty permanent.”

  “We’ll talk if—when—you come back. Okay?”

  “You’re still doubting me, Blue.” He stroked her cheek with his knuckles. “I don’t like it.”

  She was about to defend herself when Josh came in, jangling the keys to the truck. “I hate to be a burr in your butt—”

  “But it’s time to leave,” Taylor said, never taking his eyes from hers. The kiss that followed took her breath from her lungs and left her toes curling. His lips were firm, desperate, and left their mark long after he pulled away. “Three days,” he whispered, lifting her hand and kissing the center of her palm. “Three days.”

  “That’s six,” she replied, offering him a watery smile.

  “Funny.” He groaned, pressing his forehead against hers. “I’ve gotta go.”

  “I know. I really fucking know.”

  He chuckled. “It’s got to be bad if you’re using the F-word.” He pulled back but kept a hold of her hand. “Say it again. Say fuck for me, Blue.”