A Girl of White Winter

by Barb Hendee

  At first, his meaning was lost on me, but then I reasoned we were exposed here in the chute. Anyone up above with a bow and arrow could have easily killed us.

  Though the chute was wide enough for two horses to walk side-by-side, we continued in single file to travel up…and up. The torches grew closer, and a new fear washed through me—that I no idea of where I had arrived.

  Finally, with our horses soaked in sweat and breathing hard, we emerged at the top and rode out onto a plateau. Up here, it was almost as heavily forested as down below, but a wide stretch had been cleared for a settlement—or that was the word that came to mind. I’d read of such places in books. From my vantage point, I could see about twenty wooden buildings or dwellings stretching out before me. There were also several wagons with what appeared to be small homes set on top. The place might have been much larger, but in the darkness, by a combination of the moon overhead and the torches coming toward us, this was all I could see.

  As the torches—and people—drew closer, I had my arms still around Caine’s stomach and did not let go. Raven jumped to the ground, quickly surrounded by men, women, and children offering greetings and asking questions.

  “Oh, Raven, such fine horses!” someone exclaimed.

  “Did you take any sugar?” a woman asked. “We’re nearly out.”

  “Anyone hurt?” another woman asked.

  Two men came walking up from the darkness. One was aging, with long, gray hair. He walked with a slight limp. The other was about thirty and as tall as Caine.

  “Where have you been?” the younger man asked Raven. “We expected you days ago.”

  Raven shrugged. “Pickings were poor until last night. Then we spotted some traveling noblemen.”

  “Noblemen?” the old man repeated. “Did you kill anyone?”

  “No.”

  Tannen and Badger were already on the ground as people hurried to them, inspecting the new horses when a stocky woman with a thick braid spotted me sitting on the horse behind Caine.

  She froze.

  She was silent for a moment and then looked backward.

  “Logan…”

  Beneath my hands, I felt Caine go stiff as the tall man who’d been speaking to Raven came striding over.

  “What is it, Brida? Is Caine injured?”

  At the sight of me, he stopped. “What in the…?”

  Swinging his leg over the horse’s neck, Caine jumped down and reached up for me. Exhausted and sore, I said nothing as he lifted me down and held me on my feet.

  “She’s with me, Logan,” he said.

  Others began to notice my presence and fell silent, staring at my hair. The people here were of the same coloring as Caine and Raven, with dusky skin, dark hair, and black eyes. I stepped halfway behind Caine, pressed against the back of his right arm.

  The aging man with gray hair came limping up, favoring his right leg.

  “What do you mean, she’s with you?” he asked.

  To my surprise, Caine bowed his head in a sign of respect. “She came with me.”

  The woman called Brida stepped closer, looking curiously at my eyes. “Was she lost somewhere? Did you find her, and she asked to stay with you?”

  When Caine didn’t answer, Logan turned his head and barked, “Raven!”

  Raven came quickly through the crowd, but his expression showed clear discomfort.

  “What is this?” Logan demanded. “You brought an outsider into the settlement? Where did you find her?”

  Raven drew in a long breath. “Caine took her from the noblemen, from the House of Capello.”

  “Took her?” Logan’s tone was incredulous.

  Apparently, Caine was finished with this conversation. Grasping my wrist, he walked forward, through the people, but called back over his shoulder. “She was property, not family. I claimed her as property.”

  Gasps and surprised voices sounded from behind us, but he kept walking, dragging me with him. On instinct, I tried to pull away, but he didn’t even slow down. We passed several dwellings, and he cut between two of them, pulling me toward the tree line. Out at the back of these dwellings, I saw a small clapboard shack with no door. He dragged me around to the back of the shack, nearer to the tree line, and there was the door. Opening it, he drew me inside.

  The interior consisted of a single room with no furniture and no windows, but a stone fireplace graced a side wall to my right. The hearth was dead, and though it was difficult to see in the dark, by the moonlight coming in the door, I saw a few musty blankets piled on the floor. When Caine let go of my arm, I hurried away from him, pressing up against the faded front wall.

  Why had he brought me in here?

  The sound of his voice referring to me as property rang in my ears. Is that how he viewed me, as his own? Like one of the horses he’d stolen?

  At my fear, his expression flickered, but then it hardened again. “I need to go speak with my grandfather. I’ll send someone with a warm meal and firewood soon.” He pointed to the door. “This locks from the outside, but you won’t be here long, just tonight.”

  Although I had feared the open lands and open skies, the thought of being locked in this windowless shack brought panic. What if I was forgotten?

  “Don’t,” I begged. “Please. I promise I’ll stay here if you don’t lock the door.”

  Again, his expression flickered, but he turned and walked out, closing the door behind himself. With no moonlight, the room went black. Upon hearing something like the sound of a bolt sliding, I ran across the room, trying the door.

  It wouldn’t open.

  * * * *

  Crouched in a corner, in the darkness, I sat with my arms wrapped around my knees, longing for someone to come and fearing someone would come. The night was cold, and even in my cloak, I’d begun to shiver when a familiar voice sounded out back. “Put down the tray and unbolt the door. I’ll take it in myself.”

  Raven.

  Relief flooded through me. I didn’t know him any more than I knew Caine, but he had talked to me more, and last night, he’d made me a private bed up on the wagon.

  The door opened, and moonlight filtered in. Raven stood there with an armload of firewood. I never saw who was with him because he turned his head and said, “Go home. I can manage from here.”

  Striding in, he glanced at me once before walking to the hearth and arranging the logs. A flint appeared in his hand, and he used it to build a fire. I was even more grateful for the light than the heat.

  Once the flames had taken, he went back to the door and returned with a wooden tray. A savory scent wafted upward as he knelt in front of me. The tray contained a bowl, a spoon, and a tin cup.

  “Vegetable stew with gravy,” he said. “Go ahead and eat. I know you’re hungry.”

  I was famished, but Lady Giselle had always impressed the importance not showing any rush when eating. It was the height of poor manners.

  “Thank you,” I whispered, reaching slowly and picking up the bowl, taking a small bite of potato. Then I took a sip of water from the cup.

  He watched me.

  “I’m sorry,” he said.

  His unexpected apology made me brave. “What does Caine want with me?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve asked him, but he won’t tell me. He’s speaking to our grandfather now.”

  I’d heard the word “grandfather” from one or both of them before. “Is Caine your brother?”

  Raven nodded. “So is Logan. He’s the eldest. I’m the youngest.”

  Absorbing this news, I took another small bite and swallowed it. “Caine called me his property.”

  “I know he did. I heard him.” He studied my face. “But you don’t need to worry. He won’t sell you, and he won’t hurt you. I promise.”

  “Why did he bring me here?”

  Raven
hesitated. “I told you I don’t know…but Caine is a man who believes in fate and in prophecies.”

  “And you don’t?”

  “I believe in choices.” He stood up. “And I don’t like this. I don’t like you being locked in here, and I don’t like you losing control over your own decisions.”

  His words washed over me. I’d never heard anyone talk like this before. I’d never thought about having choices.

  He crouched again. “My people all used to be travelers. We traveled the kingdoms as we pleased, never settling anywhere, but that life grew hard for some of us, and my grandfather founded this place. The location makes it safe, and some of us, like Logan and Caine, prefer to grow food and live here year round.” Tilting his head, he added, “But some of us don’t.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I have a troupe who travels with me from village to town, putting on shows to earn money, living as we please. We come back here in autumn so I can help with some of the raiding parties. Then we leave for a few months and come here again for the hard part of winter.”

  I wanted to ask more about the term “raiding parties” but had a feeling he was trying to convey something more important.

  “My troupe leaves in the morning,” he said.

  For some reason, this news brought a fresh wave of fear. He was the only one who really talked to me. And he was leaving in the morning?

  Standing up again, he walked to the door.

  “But for now, I’m going to head back to the common house and see how Grandfather is faring with Caine.” He paused. “I’m not going to lock the door.”

  Setting down the bowl, I stood as well. Firelight reflected off the side of his face.

  “The way I see it,” he went on, “you have three options. While everyone is distracted, you could slip out of here tonight. No one guards the mouth of the chute. On foot, in the dark, you could press close to the near wall of the chute and make your way down with no one up above on watch seeing you.”

  My breaths quickened in fear at the thought of trying to flee this place and make it back to de Marco lands, to my lady, on my own.

  “Or,” he said. “You can stay here and take your chances and find out what Caine wants.”

  “Or?” I whispered.

  “Or…you could come on the road with me.” He amended quickly. “I mean with us, with my troupe. You’d belong to yourself, but you could travel with us.”

  A wild rush of hope rose up. “Could you take me home, to the de Marco manor?”

  “No. Only small raiding groups of men ever go north into those estate lands. I won’t risk any of my people. We’re heading east. If you want to go back, you’re on your own.”

  Despair replaced hope. His refusal had been swift and final.

  But another thought occurred. “I couldn’t go with you if I wished to. Caine would never allow it.”

  “He would if I asked him. He owes me…or thinks he does. I’ve never asked him for anything, but I’d ask him for this, and he wouldn’t refuse.”

  I was moved that Raven would use up a favor to help me, but I also feared the prospect of joining a troupe of strangers traveling east, farther from my home.

  He watched me a few moments longer.

  “Choices are all that matter in this life,” he said. “And we have to be free to make our own. You think on this, and I’ll be back before dawn. If you’re gone, I’ll know you chose to run. If you’re here, you can tell me what you’ve decided.” He walked out. “I won’t lock the door.”

  But he closed it.

  I was alone again.

  The fire crackled in the hearth, and I looked at the door. Slowly, I walked over and reached down for the latch.

  It opened.

  Peering outside, I saw only the moon and the tree line, not a soul in sight. Stepping out, I looked around. From back here, behind the settlement, there was a good chance I could reach the chute without being seen, and Raven would not have misled me. If he said I could press against the near wall in the darkness and make my way down without being spotted from above, I believed him.

  But then what?

  I’d be alone, in a forest, with little idea how to get home besides to head west until I found the main road and then to head north…alone and under the open sky.

  Perhaps I could go with Raven, at least to gain my freedom in some semblance of safety and try to find a way to send my lady a message? But I would be exposed to one new sight after the next, traveling in the company of strangers.

  Or…I could wait here. Raven had promised Caine wouldn’t harm me. What if I simply bided my time? Could I find a way to send my lady a message from here? If she learned what had happened to me, she would bribe men to find me. Or perhaps I could learn the name of the nearest village or town. I could send a message with the location and then escape this place?

  But what if I could not find a way to send a message from this place?

  Raven said he believed in choices and yet how could I possibly make this one?

  Turning, I went back inside the small dwelling, moving to the hearth. What should I do?

  Suddenly, the air to my left began waver. Alarmed, I whirled and stepped backward, but the motion of the wavering air grew more rapid, and then…something solid began taking shape.

  I went still.

  There, right in front me, a great three-paneled mirror now stood where there had been only empty air an instant before. The thick frames around each panel were of solid pewter, engraved in the image of climbing ivy vines. The glass of the panels was smooth and perfect, but I didn’t see myself looking back.

  Instead, I found myself looking into the eyes of a dark-haired woman in a black dress. Her face was pale, and she bore no expression at all.

  There she was, inside the right panel gazing out me.

  Was I going mad? Had events from the past two days driven me mad?

  “Don’t fear,” the woman said. “There is nothing to fear.”

  I couldn’t help my rising fear, but I also could not seem to speak.

  “You are at a crossroad,” she continued, “with three paths.” As she raised her arms, the material from her long black sleeves hung down. “I am bidden to give you a gift.”

  Could this be real? Was it happening?

  “You will live out three outcomes…to three different choices,” she said. “Three paths await you. Three actions…or inactions you might decide upon. Then you will have the knowledge to choose.”

  I shook my head, finding my voice. “Wait! What are you saying?”

  Lowering both hands to her sides, she said, “The first choice.”

  My thoughts went blank, and the shabby room around me vanished.

  The First Choice

  The Road

  Chapter Four

  I was standing in the darkness just outside the door of the shack, feeling dizzy and disoriented, as if I’d forgotten something and needed to remember. What was I doing out here?

  Then I remembered. I had to make a decision.

  Looking to the left, I saw the long tree line stretching along the backs of several dwellings. I could make my way along these trees far enough to slip down into the chute and escape.

  But instead, I just stood there, knowing I could not force myself to take such an act.

  Ashamed, I went back inside and crouched down by the fire, still feeling disoriented. What was it that I had forgotten?

  I stayed like that all night, even after the logs had burned to ashes.

  Outside, once the sky had begun turning gray, I heard footsteps approaching, and I watched the door. Caine entered first, with Raven behind him. Both men appeared tense, but Raven’s eyes flickered in surprise at the sight of me. Had he expected me to run? Perhaps I should have.

  Caine wasted no time. “Raven’s just asked me
that you be given a choice to go on the road with his troupe. I’m asking you to stay.”

  His voice was tight, but before he’d finished speaking, I’d made up my mind. I didn’t know either one of them. And yet, I knew Raven a bit…more, and leaving with his people would give me the best chance to send my lady a message.

  “I’ll go with Raven’s troupe,” I said quietly.

  Caine’s expression grew desperate as he stepped toward me. “Don’t. Stay here.”

  Quickly, Raven moved in front of him, cutting him off. “You told me you’d let her choose. It’s just for the autumn. We’ll be back in winter, and she might want to stay then.”

  Caine ran a hand over his face. “Don’t take her with you. Please.”

  I had a feeling he rarely said please to anyone, but Raven was unmoved. “I’m not taking her anywhere. She’s choosing to travel with us. And you gave me your word you wouldn’t stop her.”

  After drawing in a harsh breath, Caine walked toward the door. “You’d better bring her back this winter.”

  Then he was gone, and I was alone with Raven, two strangers thrown together.

  “Come on,” he said. “My people are packing up.”

  * * * *

  Walking through the settlement in daylight, I could see it was indeed larger than my initial view in the night. At least forty dwellings were scattered about in no apparent pattern. Several constructions were larger then others, such as the stable and barn and what appeared to be a smithy.

  Beyond the farthest dwelling, I could see more cleared land now growing apple trees. Each dwelling we passed sported its own kitchen garden, but at this time of the year, only potatoes, carrots, turnips, and onions remained in the ground. Chickens pecked in the dirt, and goats wandered loose, eating grass and weeds. There were pigs inside of fenced areas. Even at the crack of dawn, a number of people were up and about, feeding chickens, gathering eggs, and milking goats.

  As Raven and I continued on, people nodded to him and cast surprised glances at me.

  “It’s just your coloring,” Raven said. “They’ve never seen anyone like you.”

  Lady Giselle had often told me the same thing.