A Girl of White Winter

by Barb Hendee

  “Nothing to concern you,” he answered, “as you’ve never undertaken a duty in your life.”

  I dropped my eyes to my plate, fearing their verbal sparing might worsen.

  “True,” she answered him, her voice brittle, “but we women tend to find other ways to pass the time. How is your dear wife, Eleesa? Is she waiting for you at court…or perhaps, she is elsewhere?”

  Glancing at Alexi, I saw his face harden, and he looked at me. With my eyes, I begged him to stop, but he turned back to Loraine.

  “I still cannot get over how Royce just stumbled upon this beauty of a girl,” he said. “And he is so fond of her. Did you know on my last visit, I offered him five thousand silver pieces for her and he refused me? Can you imagine? Someone in his financial position, willing to take truly desperate measures, and he turns down five thousand?”

  From across the table, Royce shook his head once, and Loraine’s eyes were like daggers. Adina and Trey both appeared at a loss. I half expected Loraine to swoon and order Royce to take her upstairs, but she didn’t.

  Perhaps she did not want Alexi to witness this type of display.

  “Please,” I whispered to him.

  “Oh, all right,” he said to me. Then he smiled at Loraine, but it was cold. “Shall we stop flinging blades at each other?” Turning to Adina, he said, “I do hope your cook made her roast pheasant tonight. She has just the right touch with the herbs.”

  “Yes,” Adina answered, visibly relieved. “By luck, we had a pheasant, and I know how you enjoy her preparation.”

  Somehow, from there, we made it through the rest of dinner.

  When dessert was finished, Loraine stood up to signal the ladies would be leaving for the sitting room.

  “We will leave you gentlemen to your port,” she said.

  Rising, I breathed more easily. Once out of this dining room, I’d be expected to vanish—and relished the thought.

  “I think not,” Alexi said, standing. “I fear that by the time we join you, Kara will have been sent off to the dungeon, and I’ve a mind to play chess.”

  Across the table, Royce’s face darkened. For some reason, tonight he seemed bothered by Alexi’s attention to me. At the last dinner, he’d been flattered.

  Offering me his arm, Alexi said, “My dear?”

  I glanced to Royce. His expression grew darker, but he nodded. What else could he do? He would need to escort Loraine. Alexi swept me through the archway and down the hall. But once we were out of earshot, he leaned close to my ear.

  “You don’t really want to disappear off by yourself, do you?”

  As his question sounded genuine, I answered, “Would you blame me?”

  He laughed. “No, I suppose not. My gods though, would I love to drag you off alone for no other reason than to have you tell me how you’ve been surviving Hurricane Loraine these past weeks. But I fear Royce would not approve.” Patting my hand, he added. “Just come and play a few games of chess with me.”

  “If you promise to stop baiting her.”

  “Do you pity her?”

  “Sometimes…almost. She’s very unhappy, and I don’t think she’s capable of feeling happiness. That would be a terrible way to live.”

  “You are an unusual creature.”

  As we all entered the sitting room, Adina said, “If Alexi and Kara are going to play chess, that still leaves us with a quartet. Perhaps we could play a game of Spades in teams?”

  “Yes, my dear,” Loraine answered her. “That sounds—”

  But Royce interrupted, “Alexi, perhaps you would prefer the game of Spades? I would rather play chess with Kara.”

  A moment of awkward silence followed, and I found Royce’s suggestion a mistake on several levels. Of course I understood that this was my first time down to dinner in weeks, and he felt Alexi was monopolizing me, but Alexi was a royal guest, and Loraine’s mouth went tight with anger.

  “No,” Alexi answered slowly. “You have the pleasure of Kara’s company at your leisure, and I’ve been longing for a rematch. She’ll not beat me again.”

  After that, there was nothing more to be said, but I didn’t mind sitting in the corner with Alexi, playing chess. I was out of Loraine’s way, and thankfully, Alexi ignored her.

  Tonight, he was a different player though, far more careful and far less aggressive. The game took well over an hour. He watched every move I made, and he took more of my pieces than I took of his. In the end, he wore me down and cornered my king.

  “Checkmate,” he said.

  I smiled.

  “Did he just win?” Trey asked from the card table.

  “He did,” I answered. “But he took the game more seriously. Last time, he thought me an easy victory.”

  “Ah, my lady,” Alexi said. “I would never make the mistake of thinking you an easy victory.”

  At this, Royce glared at him, and Loraine said, “She is not a lady, and you do both Adina and myself a disservice by using the term.”

  Her voice was brittle again, and as Alexi opened his mouth to offer a returning barb, I shook my head at him. He sighed.

  Leaning forward over the chessboard, I whispered. “Might I please be excused, my lord? Please.”

  A flicker of sadness crossed his eyes. “You really want to go?”

  I nodded.

  “Go on then. Of course.”

  I fled.

  * * * *

  That night, I thought Royce would come late and dreaded his arrival. He’d appeared almost jealous of Alexi, and I had no idea what type of mood that might bring on. But I left a candle lantern glowing and crawled into bed with Lily.

  Royce never came.

  The next morning, once Abigail had dressed me, I went downstairs to see Alexi off. Trey and Adina were already downstairs, in the main hallway, walking toward the front doors with Alexi. Neither Royce nor Loraine were present.

  “There you are,” Alexi said, offering me his arm. “I hoped you’d come to say good-bye.”

  Footsteps sounded behind us, and Royce came walking from the direction of the stairway. His face was haggard, and he still wore the same clothing from last night.

  “You look terrible, my friend,” Alexi said. “Don’t tell me Loraine kept you up all night with her antics? But I suppose you should have expected some hysteria. I’m probably to blame.”

  Royce’s eyes dropped to my hand on Alexi’s arm, but he didn’t speak.

  Lord Trey led us out into courtyard, where the royal guards had gathered in preparation for departure.

  “Come and see this horse, my dear,” Alexi said to me, leading me away from everyone else. “I’ve just purchased him.”

  But when we reached the horse, his voice dropped low and lost any hint of frivolity. “Kara, I want you to look to your right at the Capello guard with the shorn head.”

  I glanced over and saw one of our own men helping to load luggage.

  “I’ve paid that man twenty silvers and promised him my protection,” Alexi said, barely loud enough to be heard. “If you ever need anything, give him a message, and he’ll get it to me. I swear to you, I will come.”

  Startled, I took a step back.

  “I mean it,” he rushed on. “I know I play the fool, but there’s something building in this house, something…more than family drama. If you need help, send a message.”

  Turning away, he mounted his horse and smiled to Lord Trey, Adina, and Royce. “Farewell my friends, and thank you again. I hope to see you at court in the spring.”

  With that, his entire party was off, trotting toward the front gates. Trey and Adina walked back for the front doors to the manor, but Royce came to me. He did look terrible, with dark circles under his eyes.

  “You need to rest,” I said.

  “What Alexi did just say to you?”

 
He sounded manic, and I needed to defuse this quickly.

  “Oh, he was just being Alexi,” I said lightly. “I never know how to respond to him. You know I’m not good at word play.”

  Royce stood close enough that I could feel his stale breath on my cheek. “I want you at dinner tonight.”

  “With just the family? I can’t. Loraine has forbidden that.”

  He grabbed my wrist. “I want you dressed and in the dining room before dinner. Do you understand?”

  “Yes.”

  * * * *

  The night, I let Abigail dress me for dinner, but I was in dread of what might follow.

  When I arrived in the dining room, Trey, Adina, and Loraine were there, but Royce had not arrived yet.

  Loraine colored at the sight of me walking in. “What are you doing in here? Get out.”

  “No,” Royce said, walking in behind me. He’d bathed and now wore his black, sleeveless tunic. “I want her here. From now on, she dines with us every night.”

  Trey and Adina both watched this exchange in alarm, and I wanted to disappear into the wall.

  “She will not!” Loraine answered. “And you will send her out of here at once.”

  “No,” Royce said again, and I had the distinct feeling that tonight was the first time he’d ever told her no.

  “This was our agreement,” she said, walking toward him with a rustle of silk.

  His eyes glittered, and I nearly cried out to her to stay out of his reach. Could she not see he was on the edge?

  “If you don’t hold to our bargain,” she said, “I will cut off your allowance, and I will not reinstate it.”

  “Good!” Royce shouted into her face, causing her to stumble backward. “Cut it off tonight! I don’t care. I’ll sell family paintings and jewels if need be. I can set us up for years if we change some ways and let half the servants go.” He pointed at me. “But I would rather eat day-old bread and scrambled eggs for dinner with her than eat a six-course meal with you!”

  She stared at him, speechless.

  “And I’m sending you to the cottage in Chèlan,” he went on. “As your husband, I’m ordering you to go. I will be free of you.”

  Fear passed through her eyes as she began to understand what was happening. The only thing she had to hold over him was money. If he cared nothing for the money, she had no way to control him, and in all other aspects, he was her lord. He could do as he liked with her.

  However, even amid this breaking of chains, Royce looked to Trey and Adina. This affected them as well.

  “Father?”

  Trey met his eyes and nodded. “Yes. You cannot go on like this. There are some debts I can call in, and we can economize. We’ll find a way to manage.”

  Loraine moaned and grabbed the back of a chair for support, but Royce whirled and took hold of my arm.

  “Come with me.”

  I had little choice as he dragged me down the hallway toward the stairs.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, trying to pull away.

  He didn’t notice my struggles and kept going, taking me up the stairs three floors and then to my room. Pulling me inside, he closed the door behind us.

  Something inside of him had broken, and pent up emotions were pouring out. Turning me around, he began rapidly unlacing the back of my gown. He’d never done anything like this before. He’d always waited for Abigail to prepare me for bed. He wasn’t hurting me. He was simply moving too fast.

  Within moments, he had my gown unlaced and tugged it off my shoulders, along with my shift. Then he kissed me so hard I couldn’t help trying to push him away.

  “Royce!”

  My feet came off the ground as he lifted me with one arm and walked to the bed.

  Once there, he grasped my face. “I want you.”

  The sound of him speaking filled me with relief, as perhaps he’d partially come back to himself.

  “Yes,” I said quickly. “But you go too fast. I’m frightened.”

  My admission that I was afraid had an effect, and he nodded. Then he kissed me more gently.

  Dutifully, I kissed him back.

  * * * *

  The following day, I hid in my room with no idea what was happening in the house. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. Had Loraine officially cut Royce off from her income? Had he packed her up and sent her away?

  Whatever was happening, I didn’t want to see it.

  In the evening though, when Abigail came to dress me, I couldn’t refuse. Royce had ordered me to join the family for dinners. She laced me into a white silk, but I told her not to bother curling my hair or applying make-up, and for once, she listened.

  Downstairs, when I entered the dining room, only Royce and Trey were waiting.

  “Where have you been all day, my dear?” Trey asked.

  “Hiding. What has happened?”

  “Nothing,” Royce answered. “Loraine has hidden in her room as well, and I’ve not pressed the matter…yet. A short while ago, she asked to see Adina.”

  As if bidden, Adina came hurrying into the dining hall. She went straight to Royce.

  “Oh, Royce,” she said. “I have good news. I’ve been with Loraine, and I think your outburst last night caused her to see things in a new light. She’s sorry for some of her behavior and sees now that she’s asked too much of you. She’s agreed not to alter your finances if you agree to no more than allowing her to remain here at the manor. She’s even reconciled to your attachment to Kara.”

  Royce shook his head. “No. She doesn’t mean it. She’ll wait until she thinks we can’t do without her wealth again, and this will start all over. I want our life here to go back to the way it was in the autumn, with just the four of us. To get that back, I’m willing to live without the money.”

  Adina’s expression grew wistful. “You say that now, and you may still say it in a year. But in two years…three years’ time, when there are no more paintings to sell and you’ve been eating potatoes from the garden for a week and the leaking roof needs repair, you may feel differently.”

  She spoke of these things as if she had knowledge of them, and I realized how little I knew of her past.

  But Royce was listening to her.

  “Just hear what she has to say,” Adina urged.

  A voice came from the archway. “I assure you, you’ll be pleased with my terms.”

  Loraine stood there dressed in a velvet gown of forest green with her hair piled high. She carried a small bottle of wine in her hand.

  Royce walked over to meet her, and I hung back with Adina and Trey to let them speak.

  Loraine touched Royce’s hand, and the gesture was conciliatory. Her voice was low, but I could hear her apologizing to him.

  “And you’ll treat Kara as part of the family,” he asked, “as my chosen companion, while I have no other obligations to you?”

  “Of course. I only wish to remain here, in my home.”

  They spoke a few moments longer, with him making requests and her agreeing. He was surprised by her answers, but his face filled with hope.

  Opening the bottle of wine, she asked, “Are we agreed then? I’ve brought your favorite dark port.”

  She poured two goblets and handed him one. After raising hers, she drank deeply. Without warning, a memory flashed into my mind of Giza setting down the bowl of food for Lily.

  “Royce!”

  But it was too late. He’d already taken a swallow.

  As I never shouted, Royce, Adina, and Trey all turned to me in surprise, but when Loraine smiled at me, I saw only triumph. She’d wanted me to witness this.

  The first sign was a trickle of blood running from her nose.

  “No,” I breathed.

  Trey saw it too, and in horror, his gaze flew to Royce’s goblet.

  Royce
touched his nose. His hand came away with blood on his fingers. “Loraine, what have you done?”

  She laughed. “Did you really think I was going to stand by and watch you leave me for your little mouse of a girl? To quietly accept being married to you in name only? You belong to me. You always have, and now, you always will.”

  Wavering on her feet, she grabbed for a side table.

  I ran forward, taking the goblet from Royce’s hand. “You have to retch! Put your fingers down your throat. You must bring it back up!”

  Loraine fell, dropping to the floor, with blood running from her nose and ears. Her eyes were open.

  Adina cried out, and Trey was at my side, shouting at Royce. “Do what Kara says! Bring it back up.”

  But I could see Loraine was already dead. Whatever she had given them acted quickly. Royce fell to his knees, and Trey grabbed hold of him. “No!”

  Royce looked to me. “Kara.”

  Then he fell and his father could not hold him up and all I could hear was the sound of Trey sobbing.

  * * * *

  Over the next few days, Trey seemed to age ten years. He had lost his son.

  But I kept my head. The situation needed to be both exposed and put to rest, as this was a murder suicide involving a member of the royal family. So I sent for Alexi.

  For myself, I was almost numb. Though I felt regret over Royce’s death, I was not in mourning for someone I’d loved. I’d feared him too much, and perhaps it was impossible for me to love someone I feared.

  When Alexi learned what happened, he brought Francis—who was apparently educated and skilled in the practice of law.

  We gathered in the sitting room, and Adina held Trey’s hand.

  “I’ve located several documents from among Royce’s things,” Francis began. “On my last visit, I helped him make a new will.”

  Royce had said nothing to me of this, but then why would he? However, this was not the line of discussion I’d expected. Why were we speaking of wills? I wanted Francis to pronounce that no one in the house besides Loraine would be held accountable.

  Francis shifted uncomfortably. “The sequence of events here matters greatly. Trey, you’ve told us that Loraine died first, and you have several witnesses who can swear to this. Upon her death, all her money went to Royce.” He paused. “Upon Royce’s death, the money then went to you and Kara. Two-thirds to you and one-third to Kara.”