The Dancer

by Jordan Silver

  “You sure you want to leave tonight Max? You seem troubled by the decision.”

  “Of course I’m sure, why are you asking me that?”

  “Oh no reason. Other than I’m your best friend and I know you better than anyone else. If you like her, don’t run brother. You know your instincts better than anyone.”

  “Who says I like her?”

  “Bruh, if I wasn’t there last night you would’ve broken down the door to Kenny’s place and dragged her out yourself.”

  “As long as I’ve known you I’ve never seen you act like that over a female. You went all caveman! If you can tell me honestly that you don’t feel anything for her, I’ll leave it alone…”

  “I don’t know what I feel okay. The shit is all fucked up. I don’t know if I see her as a little sister type or someone I want to fuck. What the fuck are you grinning at?”

  He stepped back out of the way like he thought I was going to hit him. I just might flatten him to alleviate some of this frustration that was burning a hole in my chest.

  “You might want to have a talk with Arlene before you leave. Word is she’s been very interested in your little bird.”

  “If she touches her or fucks with her in any way I’ll bury her.”

  “Uh-huh, you’re not interested, I can see that clearly now.”

  “Don’t think because you’re my brother I won’t knock your ass across the street. What exactly did you hear?” Fucking girl is a nuisance. Now I have to worry about her when I have shit to do on the other side of the damn country.

  “It wasn’t much but it was enough to catch my notice. According to Celeste she was trying to get information on your girl. It’s strange because she has nothing to do with the waitresses so it makes me wonder.”

  I knew Celeste was his little snitch. He usually sat at the bar picking her for information, getting a feel for the place and what was going on when I wasn’t here. He had one like her in each of my clubs.

  I could go back through the tapes if I wanted to know something, but nothing beats having a warm body you can trust to keep their finger on the pulse of what’s going on.

  “I kinda knew that she’d do something like that. Let’s wait and see what play she makes if any. I hope by now she knows it’s a bad fucking idea to cross me.”

  “Yeah, but if you don’t make your feelings known who’s to stop her or one of the others from doing some shady shit?”

  He knows of what he speaks. When I first took over the place there were more than a few of the dancers who’d shown an interest in getting in my bed.

  Since I don’t shit where I eat that shit never went anywhere, but that hadn’t stopped the in house fighting and misunderstandings.

  That was one of the reasons I’d gotten rid of quite a few of them in the beginning, and though I never addressed it, the word had spread that I wasn’t interested and never will be.

  Is that why I hadn’t wanted her to be a dancer? Because I didn’t want to break that particular rule of mine?

  That makes no damn sense Max, she’s still working for you isn’t she? Accept it, you didn’t want her dancing because you didn’t want anyone else seeing her body.

  “What is it now? You’re as twitchy as a fucking virgin in a whore house.” He looked me up and down.

  “I’m fucked if I know.”

  I played with the change in my pocket and kicked at nothing on the sidewalk. He was right, I felt unsettled, but then I’ve felt this way ever since I met her.

  I don’t like being blindsided, don’t like not knowing my own mind. The shit feels almost like I’m going insane.

  “Stop stressing it so hard, the answer will come to you soon enough.” Why does he keep talking like he knows what the fuck this is when I don’t have the slightest clue?

  My phone rang and I answered when I saw it was my mom. “Hey pretty girl how are you?”

  “Never mind that, who’s this new girl I hear have you tied up in knots?”

  I turned to glare at Tony who had a sudden renewed interest in the sky. Blabbermouth. “What are you talking about momma?”

  “Oh it’s like that is it? Do I need to come home?”

  “Why would you do that? You still have weeks left on your vacation.”

  “Yes, but it isn’t every day I have the prospect of a daughter in law lurking on the horizon. I hear she’s a real beauty but nothing like your usual fare.”

  Damn Tony, what the hell did you tell this woman? His ass was keeping his distance as he pretended to play with his phone. Nosy ass!

  Chapter 7

  I did my best to convince my interfering mother that the girl meant nothing to me, but I don’t think she bought it. She just kept fishing for information that I didn’t have.

  I guess the fact that my best friend found it necessary to call her halfway around the world and tell her about Annabelle was enough proof for her that I was more interested than usual.

  I didn’t say shit to him after hanging up the phone and if I didn’t respect his mom, I would’ve gone ahead with my threat to tattle on his dumb ass. He knows it too the jerk.

  That night I took my private jet back to Miami and for the first time didn’t feel the excitement I normally did when looking down at the city from the air.

  South Beach reminds me of old New York. The bright lights and late night revelers. Stores and restaurants that stayed open until all hours of the early morning, and nightclubs and luxury hotels on every corner.

  I went straight to my place on Fisher Island as soon as we landed. I’d bought the five million dollar mansion because it was right on the water and more importantly because there was a guesthouse that was perfect for my shadow to live in while we were here.

  “I know you won’t do it out of sheer stubbornness, so I did it for you. The girl did fine on her first day. The manager’s already singing her praises and Celeste says she’s a natural.”

  “Who the fuck are you all of a sudden, Dear Abby?” I hid my smile as I walked through the door and slammed it in his face. He knows me too damn well. Maybe I should ask him what the hell is up with me.

  I was proud of her and didn’t know why. It’s not my habit to keep such a close watch on my floor staff. I doubt I know half of them other than to say hello and goodbye.

  By the time I dropped my tired ass into bed I knew I wasn’t fooling anyone. My anger had already worn off somewhere over the water and I was already regretting my hasty departure.

  That fact bothered me more than a little bit since it had never happened before. Not since my teens have I allowed a female to plague me as much as this one.

  It might be the fact that she was such a mystery still. A Colombia student who wanted to dance half naked on stage. Nothing about her fit.

  Her mouth for one didn’t quite fit with her small angelic like stature. And she had way too much damn attitude for someone who seemed to be in need.

  Or maybe I’d become too accustomed to people kowtowing to me. It was a safe bet that she never would. She’d as soon spit in my eye is my guess.

  With that attitude of hers she reminded me more of the boriquas on the block I grew up on. Those fierce Puerto Rican chicks who would as soon cut you as look at you.

  She had that kind of fearless force about her. But underneath, if you look into her eyes long enough, you’d see the vulnerability.

  That must be it. That vulnerability I saw in her that reminded me of my young mother and the

  struggles she’d gone through. But with the vulnerability there was also an inner strength and an independent streak a mile wide. Just like mom’s.

  Maybe that’s why I feel this connection to her, this need to protect her. If only that was all it was. But I knew deep down that there was something else going on here. Something more than I was willing to admit.

  The next day I went to the club first thing in the early afternoon and locked myself away in my office. I’m usually more relaxed here, but not today.

  I kept wanting
to call and check up on her, but I was sure she’d accuse me of stalking her or some shit with that mouth of hers.

  I gave serious thought to finding a way to keep track of her and asked myself what the fuck I was thinking. She had me bent.

  I wasn’t in love with her, that much I knew. I would know if I was, wouldn’t I? Sure I found her attractive, but instead of a wild need to take her to bed and fuck her into the hereafter, my feelings

  were of a gentler nature.

  Not that I wouldn’t fuck her, she was more than desirable in that aspect. But all the women I’d been attracted to in the past had ended up in my bed not long after we first met.

  Lust would burn hot and quick, and die just as suddenly. And my lust never came with any other emotion. I never kept anyone in my thoughts, it was always out of sight out of mind.

  There was a nagging little voice in my head telling me that maybe that was the difference. I never kept any of the others around for more than a few weeks if that. Somehow I couldn’t imagine not seeing her again. The thought left me cold.

  I had that knowing feeling deep down inside, that she was someone I wanted to keep around. Like Tony! In just a short while she’d come to matter. That at least was nothing new. I can usually tell within the first few minutes if I like someone.

  But this felt like way more than that and that was the problem. After beating myself up again I told myself that the fact that I had no name for whatever this is wasn’t important.

  All that mattered was that she was on my mind and refused to leave. That for whatever reason she was now under my skin. But more importantly, I realized that I didn’t mind having her there.

  Instead of an annoyance, she was more like a puzzle I couldn’t wait to solve. And if there was just a tinge of fear mixed in with these new feelings, so what?

  I’ve faced fear before. Besides, what can a little thing like her do to me anyway? Other than make me lose my senses and occupy my mind at inconvenient times? Like now when I’m supposed to be working.

  By early evening, just about the time she should be clocking in for her second day of training I felt sick. My pulse was too fast and my stomach hurt like I had caught some type of bug.

  I called Tony who was in his office doing who knows what. “Get in here.” He took his sweet time getting here and I glared at his ass.

  “You rang.”

  “I think I’m coming down with something.”

  “What are your symptoms?” He came around the desk and put his hand on my forehead, like I couldn’t do that shit myself.

  “I don’t know, my heart feels fucked up and my stomach is upset. Feel my pulse.” I knew he would know what to do since he was trained as an EMT in the service among other things. Murdering fuck!

  “You don’t have a fever. Your pulse is a little fast, but your eyes are clear. Why don’t you just pick up the phone and call her before you give yourself a heart attack? Idiot.”

  “What? What the hell are you talking about? Never mind.” I held up my hand when he opened his mouth to tell me some shit that I didn’t want to hear.

  “Hey, you’re the one who called me in here. I was just about to get off this board on Candy Crush that’s been kicking my ass for a week.”

  “Is that what I pay you for?”

  “Nope, you pay me because no one else would put up with your shit and you need me to keep the dogs away tough guy.”

  He had a point, I have more than a few enemies and I don’t have eyes behind my back so he picks up the slack.

  The fact that I wouldn’t trust anyone else to do it has a lot to do with why I’m not gut punching him now for getting on my damn nerves.

  “Get out of my office jackass.”

  “You want me to check on her for you?” I gave him the finger and pointed towards the exit. He grinned all the way out the door, leaving me to think over what he’d said.

  Was I really feeling this way because of her? Did I miss her that much that it was affecting my body like this? Shit made no sense.

  I’ve never missed a female in my life. There was always another one to take the last one’s place. Tony’s full of shit.

  I left the office and went out on the floor, which had everyone in a titter. They always act like they couldn’t get shit done unless I was here. Like they’d been storing up all their complaints for when I returned.

  I wasn’t in the mood and let that fact be known in my no nonsense way. I was short with the manager who wanted to gab about some shit that wasn’t necessary and the rest of them got the message and left me the hell alone.

  I lasted fifteen minutes before I went back to the office and did something I’d been fighting hard not to. It was as if I knew that if I did this, it would be very telling, and I wouldn’t be able to hide the truth from myself any longer.

  I was scared as fuck to open that door, afraid of where it would lead. I was sure that I wasn’t ready for this. It wasn’t part of my life plan, not now anyway. Not for a long time.

  But telling myself that shit didn’t have any affect as I dropped down in the chair behind my desk. I booted up my computer and went into the security screen that allowed me to see the New York club.

  I told myself I was just going to see how she was doing, or if she’d even bothered to show up. I held my breath until I saw her on the screen. The relief made me light headed.

  My heart took off racing again and I felt the way I did when I threw my first touchdown pass in a professional game. Like king of the fucking world.

  I drank her in like a man dying of thirst and felt the regret of not being there. How was it possible to miss someone this much? Someone that I barely even know?

  I watched her move around the restaurant already looking like she belonged. Her movements were fluid, sensual. As if she glided on her toes. A dancer’s moves.

  I noticed more than a few eyes noticing her and felt a rush of jealousy that was new to me. It didn’t seem to matter that her clothes weren’t revealing, men still seemed to find her appealing by the way some of them followed her with their eyes.

  Just like the day before she was very businesslike on the floor and it was obvious apart from the leering that the customers liked her. They sure liked chatting her up.

  I’d chosen this particular server to train her because I liked the way she did things. She didn’t just tell her trainees what to do, but allowed them to take orders and put them in the computer on their own.

  To me, that was the best and fastest way to learn. It also allowed her to interact more with the customers. But I’d forgotten that this early in the evening it was mostly businessmen in for a quick bite before heading to the other floor where the girls danced on stage.

  I could’ve switched off after the first ten minutes, but then I noticed a funny trend in her movements. Something that made me sit up and take notice.

  Each time she went to the bar to pick up an order, her eyes would go to my closed office door, which was directly down the hall from the bar.

  I got a warm tingle in my chest from this minute action and knew that whatever this was I had it bad. Now I was just staring at the screen, waiting for her to do it again. I’m so totally fucked.

  “I see she has the same problem as you do.” I almost jumped out of my skin. This motherfucker.

  “What the fuck? When did you come in here?”

  Fucking Tony was standing behind me looking

  over my damn shoulder.

  “It says a lot that you didn’t hear me come in. Why don’t you call her and put her out of her misery? It’s obvious she’s looking for you. Damn girl’s about to get a crick in her neck.”

  He slapped me on the shoulder and left the way he came in. Damn nuisance. Since I’d been caught I felt a little off watching any longer. I was a little annoyed at him for interrupting just when things were getting interesting.

  I turned off the computer and sat there lost in my damn head. I stared into space for a good ten minutes trying to get my thoughts toge
ther.

  I tried to figure out why this particular female was staying on my mind when none other had in the past. Why something as simple as her looking towards my office door as if looking for me should mean so much?

  I wasn’t yet convinced that my interest in her was for any romantic reasons at all. It was more that something about her tough exterior with the solemn eyes had reminded me of so much of my youth.

  Something about her had tapped into memories of my childhood and watching my mother struggle. Even just thinking about it made my heart ache.

  The fact that she was all alone in the city, willing to do whatever it took to survive. The hard shell that shielded the softer, gentler inner core.

  They were all a perfect mix that tugged at my heart strings is all. It had nothing at all to do with me wanting her as my woman. Just as a song or a certain scent can trigger memories and make you melancholy, her similarities to my mother is what was fucking with my head.

  That was the conclusion I came to at the end of my inner reverie. I wasn’t losing my mind and my freedom wasn’t at stake. Mom is gonna have to wait a few more years for that daughter in law and grandbaby she was hankering for.

  I felt better after drawing that conclusion, like I could breathe again. With my head back on straight I was able to concentrate on other things, though she was never far from my mind. At least she was no longer taking it over completely.

  Chapter 8

  I was able to get what I needed done in Miami in just a few days. Though I found myself rushing in order to get back to New York. I pushed myself until I dropped into bed at the end of each night, too tired to think.

  I spied on her a couple more times over the next few days, and worried about her safety when it was time for her to leave at the end of the night once her shift was over.

  I didn’t see anything that needed my attention, no one was messing with her as far as I could see, and I was able to relax. I was still telling myself that my interest in her was strictly that of someone who cared for the wellbeing of another human being and nothing else. At least it made the time go easy even if I missed her for no good damn reason.