The Dancer

by Jordan Silver

  “Because!” She looked down at my chest.

  “Because what?” I lifted her chin with my finger. “Is it so hard to believe that I really want to help?”

  “I don’t know what you want from me. I’m not sure I can pay the price for your help.” Fair enough. That’s probably the most honest thing she’s ever said to me. Maybe if I’m honest with her it might make things easier.

  I was surprised to realize that I didn’t know where to start. That was a sure sign that this wasn’t more of the same, that what I felt for her was different. I’ve never had any trouble reeling in a female in my life. My game is on fleek.

  With this one I felt like every word had to be measured. Now that I know more about her history and the heavy weight she was carrying on her shoulders, I need to be even more careful with my approach.

  “What if what I want isn’t something you need to be afraid of?”

  “How would I know? I still have no idea what’s going on in your head remember.”

  I guess she was going to make me put it all on the table while she gave me nothing. I can’t say that I blame her. There was a time she would’ve been right to be this cautious around me. But I had no intentions on using her and casting her aside.

  I pulled her in closer with the hand on her hip and watched color bloom in her cheeks. The words weren’t so hard to say after all, and once they came I felt lighter for saying them out loud.

  “I want to take care of you, and not just for a little while. From the moment I first saw you I’ve had this insane need to protect you. Call it instinct, I don’t know. I just know that you were meant to be mine to protect.” I stopped and let her take that in.

  She didn’t say a word, just looked up at me with fear, trepidation, hope. It was all there for me to see and all I could give her were more words. I couldn’t take her to my bed and comfort her the way I now admit is what I’ve wanted to since the first moment we met.

  It was the basis for the confusion I’d been battling in the beginning. This need to take care of her and wanting to fuck her had been tripping me up. I’ve never dealt with that particular mix before.

  Now that the shit was cleared up, at least in my head, I could admit it to myself. I want to fuck her as much as I want to make all her problems go away. She was girlfriend, wifey territory.

  She’s that one in a million that I never expected to find and never thought I deserved until now.

  My eyes damn near crossed as the reality hit me. It’s going to take more than my usual spiel to break down her defenses. I can’t and don’t want to treat her the same as anyone else.

  But I’m still not sure how to give her what she needs without butting heads with her. She was too damn confusing if you ask me.

  It was true that she’d softened towards me a bit in the days since we’d met. That was evident by the fact that she stood there and let me hold her. But I didn’t trust her not to try to kick my ass if I made the wrong move.

  “I don’t know what to say to you to get you to believe me and the truth is I’ve never had to work this damn hard to win a woman’s trust or anyone’s for that matter. But if you just give me a chance I’ll prove it to you.” Now I’m begging, what the fuck? What’s worse, I didn’t seem to mind.

  I felt her tremble beneath my hand and knew that she was genuinely afraid. Whatever fears were in her mind weren’t going to be defeated that easily. She opened her mouth as if to speak and closed it again. The show of vulnerability touched me and only made me want to protect her even more.

  “It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything, just listen.” As I pulled her head into my chest and wrapped my arms around her, I wondered fleetingly how something that felt so right to me could be a source of fear for her.

  Travis had said she didn’t have much experience and it was evident, but how innocent is she? That’s so far removed from the mouthy brat who walked into my place that I was finding it hard to relate the two completely different personalities.

  Which one was the real Annabelle? The brash no nonsense girl I first met? Or the scared young woman who now stood before me? And where is the middle ground?

  Whichever one it was, she’s still a woman, one I had already begun to see as mine. “You smell nice.” I buried my nose in her cherry blossom smelling hair and inhaled more than the store bought scent.

  She fit perfectly in my arms, but more than that she felt like she belonged. I couldn’t resist hugging her harder as something inside me came alive. I know she could feel me growing hard against her middle, but I didn’t pull away and neither did she.

  We stood there in comfortable silence until I felt her relax a little bit more. She sniffed my shirt and left her nose buried in my chest making me smile over her head.

  “Can you do something for me? I know right now you’re afraid to believe me, but can you try to remember everything I say and do to you?”

  “Why?” She rubbed her nose across the front of my shirt. I doubt she realized what she was doing.

  “Because I want you to remember it one day in the future. One day long after I’ve proven myself to you and you know without a doubt that this is real.”

  “What exactly is ‘this’?” She pulled her head back and looked up at me. There’s my brave bold girl.

  “I don’t have a name for it yet, but I can try to explain what it feels like.” The pain in the ass looked like she didn’t believe me.

  “It’s like I woke up in a whole new world where things look and feel different. What used to matter most has changed. You’re the first thing I think about when I awake and the last the thing I see before I close my eyes at night.”

  I didn’t feel like as much of an asshole as I’d expected and I knew it was because it was her. I was learning this relationship shit as I go. But the one thing I was certain of was that if I wanted her to open up, I’d have to make the first move.

  I also know that it’s because I’d made up my mind that she wasn’t going anywhere no matter what the fuck she says that I found it so easy to say those words to her. I brushed tendrils of hair back from her face and kissed her forehead.

  Instead of feeling like a complete ass, once I started sharing, a weight was lifted from my shoulders and those knots in my gut untangled themselves a little bit more.

  I felt a new sense of excitement, like the feeling you get when you know something good is coming. The only other time I’ve been this excited about something was when I was first drafted to play pro ball.

  Even that feeling hadn’t come close to what I now felt. I never imagined anything in life could matter more than realizing my dream. But as I stood there with my hands on her I knew that what was growing inside me was bigger than even that.

  I had another flashback to early childhood and the feeling of unbearable excitement on Xmas mornings. That was the one time of the year that mom would go all out no matter what else was going on.

  It didn’t matter that the gifts came from the bargain store, as a kid all that mattered was that there was something to open, something new to discover. And I was always happy with whatever I got. She made me feel like that.

  “Don’t you at least want to know where this could lead? Aren’t you even a little bit curious about what we could be together? I know I am.” I already knew we were going to be amazing; I could feel it.

  Now that I finally had my shit together and was thinking straight, I didn’t feel that nagging fear and doubt that had been hounding me. My shit was set and knowing me, once that happens nothing can stand in my way.

  With the decision made it felt easier opening myself up to her. She wasn’t going anywhere, and if she took too long to get her head out her ass I’d just have to drag that shit out myself.

  Either way, my heart had decided that she was for me. Good luck with her ass getting away from me now. I’d already lost one dream, I wasn’t about to give up on another no matter what her hardheaded ass has to say about it.

  “You make it sound so ea
sy. But I think I already told you, I’m not the kind of girl who can just jump into bed with anyone. We just met, hardly know anything about each other. Yet you’re asking me to trust you.”

  She had a point so I took my time trying to put the right words together. In the end I decided that the truth is all that matters. I’m not big on dishonesty anyway, and I’m not about to start, especially not with her.

  “I’m not going to hurt you, I will never hurt you; you have my word on that. I hope you’ll give me the chance to prove it. But just know going forward, my mind’s already made up. I’m just giving you the time you seem to need. Don’t make me wait too long. ” I looked over her head as I pulled her back in, letting those words sink in.

  “How do you know, how can you be so sure?” Typical female, she needed reassurance. I tried to think of the right words to say, no longer afraid of giving her more of me once I realized it wasn’t me she was averse to but relationships in general. That I can understand.

  “Because I think of you more than I’ve ever thought of anyone else. When you’re not around I miss you. It’s like a physical ache, that doesn’t ease until I see you again. That’s why I’m sure.” Because it’s never happened before that’s why.

  And because the more I know about you, the more I want you. Not to mention the fact that I don’t seem to have any control over the shit. I didn’t say all of that to her of course, that would take me into sap territory, but it was enough that I knew it.

  What her brother had shared with me gave me better insight into what was going on with her. I’d learned a whole lot more about what made her the person that she is. And in learning, my feelings for her have only grown stronger.

  I’d wondered before which of the two personalities was the real her, but it doesn’t really matter. I want them both. The brash in your face siren and the gentle almost skittish woman child who needed me.

  She got just a little bit closer and even that small gesture felt like a victory. I was encouraged to open up more even though I still felt slightly like an ass being the only one baring their soul.

  It felt as though I was ripping my chest open and exposing myself to her. This is the sticky part of the relationship game that I’ve always avoided. If I open that door with her there’s no closing it back. Fuck!

  I was even more sure though that if I wanted her trust then I must be completely honest and open with her. I was sure that was the only way to win this one over. Besides, I’d already come this far, what was a little bit more?

  “When I went back to Miami all I did was think about you, worry about you. It’s the first time in my life I’ve ever done that with anyone other than my mother.”

  With all that I’d already said I still hadn’t told her what I knew it was that she was waiting for. With anyone else they would’ve already read between the lines, but she was going to make me spell the shit out.

  Damn, I never thought I’d ever find myself in a situation where I needed to utter the next words that were about to leave my lips. I couldn’t remember ever having to, not even when I was new to the game.

  “I want you!” I said the words that felt like I’d sky dived off a cliff without a harness. “I want you in a way I never wanted before. That’s how I’m sure.”

  “I didn’t know in the beginning that that’s what I felt, no scratch that. I tried convincing myself that it wasn’t, because of all the other confusing emotions you’ve awakened in me, but there you have it.”

  She didn’t pull away from me immediately, which gave me a modicum of hope. But I knew enough not to get too excited too soon with this one. I waited for her response and had to squeeze her when none was forthcoming. “Say something.”

  “What if I can’t give you what you want? What if I’m not interested?” The fuck did she say? I looked down at her blushing face and her eyes, still with that hint of fear and hope, and I understood.

  I felt the little spark of anger fade away as I

  watched her eyes, only her eyes. A multitude of thoughts went through my head in those few seconds, but I kept coming back to the same thing. This is Mine!

  I knew it from the first moment I laid eyes on her and there was no more use denying that shit. I might wait to fuck her, maybe. But all this other shit needed to be cleared the fuck up.

  I pressed her into me so that there was no doubt she could feel my rod. The pulse in her neck went wild and her eyes, those eyes that drew me in, got cloudy with arousal.

  “Oh you’re interested alright.” You’re just afraid. But now that I know I can give you time. I kept the last bit to myself because I wasn’t in the mood for an argument.

  “Even if I was, this is all very sudden. I’m not sure…”

  “Like I said, I’m willing to give you time, but don’t make me wait too long. I’m not known for my patience.” She opened her mouth to argue and I could think of only one way to shut her the hell up.

  I tugged until she fell into me and there was no

  space between us. Her mouth fell open in surprise and I lowered my head and took her lips. She was strung tight as a bow so I had to go slow, teasing her with my tongue as I caressed her back with my fingers gently.

  It wasn’t long before her body relaxed as my lips played over hers. And when I eased my tongue deeper inside her mouth she opened up and let me in without a fight. I felt like I’d won something.

  I wrapped both arms around her tighter, crushing her to me, and deepened the kiss. Her body relaxed into mine as she gave in to me. So soft, so fucking sweet.

  I took her head in one hand and rested the other on her firm tight little ass, keeping her pressed against the swelling of my cock. Before long she was up on her toes rubbing herself against me.

  I felt pre-cum pool at the tip of my cock as my boy got ready to go deep. It was the hardest fucking thing to do to just stand there and let her use me without diving in and taking.

  I fought like hell to keep myself in check and not give her body what it was asking for, because I knew she wasn’t ready. The wrong move here could cost me big. So I let her grind her pussy into my cock and tried not to take her down and mount her on the kitchen floor.

  But it would be so easy, just zip her out of her jeans, release my cock and sink into her. I could see it in my mind, could almost feel how good it would be… No Max you fuck, you can’t have her, not yet.

  I pulled my mind back with effort and concentrated on the other shit I was feeling. I didn’t shy away from the building need inside of me for her this time, I didn’t have to because now she knows what I want from her; we both do.

  More to the point, those needs no longer scare the fuck outta me. It was okay to want her like this, to let myself feel. My cock no longer had to be restrained, thank fuck.

  As much as I warned myself to go slow, that tenderness, the need to care for her, was being overpowered by something much fiercer and more blatantly raw. The need to mate.

  What kept me from falling was knowing that I didn’t just want to put her beneath me and slate my lust. This one I wanted to possess completely, body and soul.

  Now that my mind was no longer plagued with doubts and confusion, now that I’d made up my mind that she wasn’t going anywhere, ever, I gave my hunger free rein, devouring her lips as I rubbed my cock harder into her heat. Letting her feel what was waiting for her.

  The hot little noises she made went straight to my dick, but her soft slenderness and the innocence of her kiss reminded me of just what I held in my arms, just how precious this one being had become to me.

  I wanted to dive into her, to take and take until I had my fill and then take some more. I wanted to bury myself deep inside her until the hunger she’d awakened in me subsided.

  But what I felt the longer I stood there with her held firmly in my arms, her little body awakening beneath my touch, is that as much as I want to get inside her, I wanted her heart even more.

  That had been another source of confusion, I’d never wanted to fuck wi
th a woman’s heart before. The body was as far as I ever got, or ever allowed myself to go. But the choice was no longer mine.

  She’d asked me how I know, this is how. Because I have no control over what she makes me feel. For the first time ever I was not in the driver’s seat. Something bigger and stronger than I was at play here. Only a fool doesn’t know when he’s beat, I’m no fool.

  I had to calm her down when she got too caught up in the kiss and eased off a little before she hurt herself. She truly was an innocent and the thought of all I couldn’t wait to teach her made my cock stiffer between us.

  I endured the pain and discomfort of a hard dick knowing that I wasn’t going to see any action anytime soon. I was willing to go at any pace she needed now that my mind was made up. With my own fears abated I only had to work on hers.

  I’d already made great strides by getting her here. Now if I want her to stay under my roof, I’ll have to take it slow. I can give her a few weeks, okay maybe days, for a lifetime spent with her.

  If it doesn’t kill me, I have a feeling the reward will be beyond anything I’ve ever known. With that thought in mind, and putting her comfort before my own need, I slowly ended the kiss. And just in time too.

  We heard footsteps coming down the hall and she broke away from me with a guilty look. I’d been so lost in her that I’d all but forgotten he was here. The kid came into the room and looked at us with a smirk on his face. We hadn’t fooled him one bit.

  “Who’s up for some TV? I feel like watching something scary. Maybe Devil’s Rejects is on.” He turned to head for the media room, but Anna rushed past him at a dead run.

  “I’m not watching that crap.” He dashed after her and I followed. I got to see a softer, more-gentler side to her as the two of them fought over the remote. I was hoping the kid won, that way I would get to hold her during the scary parts.

  Fuck my life, I’ve regressed back to my teenage years. Even then I never worked this damn hard. But as I watched her laugh and play with her brother as he held the remote over his head out of reach of her short ass, I had no doubt that she was worth it.