The Dancer

by Jordan Silver

  “Let’s hope there’s never a next time, it takes a lot out of me. Did you mean all those things you said? That this weekend was your last hooray before we get married?”

  “Yes! I decided that I didn’t want a bachelor party somewhere down the line because I don’t want you to ever worry that I might stray. And all my partying from now on will be done with you by my side.”

  “You don’t have to do that. I know you have friends.”

  “But those friends were part of my old life. The way we used to party isn’t nowhere near what you’d be able to accept.”

  “I respect that and my friends are still going to be my friends, I just have to find a new way to hang with them that includes you.” And I’m sure like Tony they’ll all give me grief, but anything for her. Damn nut!

  She scooted over and put her head on my shoulder, apologizing again. I was just happy that we were over that hump. I felt like I could breathe again, like my world had tilted and was now back on firm ground.

  Back at the house everyone was waiting with a table full of food. Mom and aunt Jess had been busy. No one asked any questions, mom just gave me a questioning look which I answered by kissing my girl’s temple.

  We sat around the table eating mash potatoes and steak with vegetables and fried chicken family style, and I say that tongue in cheek because the conversation got bloody.

  Both mom and aunt Jess wanted to go after Arlene after the whole story came out. Sherrie nursed the baby and bitched that she’d driven all that way and didn’t get to lay hands on anyone, and Travis was way too quiet for my liking.

  I got them all to calm the hell down with threats and browbeating because that’s what we do. Tony was on his phone the whole time which wasn’t good and I realized this is what the next sixty years of my life was gonna look like.

  Chapter 40

  By the time the place emptied of guests I was over the day. My well planned homecoming was shot to hell but it was all good. As long as she was here with me at the end of all that shit I could deal.

  “So you’re good now?” I rubbed her shoulders as we headed into our room.

  “Nope!” She waved her hand in my face and I remembered the ring.

  “Where is it?” She pointed to the night stand. My heart started racing for some fucked up reason as I picked up the box and opened it. I closed it again and she freaked.

  “What, you don’t want to give it to me anymore? I said I was sorry, it all just hit me out of nowhere and I didn’t have time to think. I’d just been sitting there thinking how great my life is now that you’re in it and then the picture came through and…”

  She started hyperventilating. “Shh, come ‘ere. Of course I want to give it to you, but I wanted it to be special. I wanted to plan a whole thing.”

  “Really? That’s nice but after the day we had I just want your ring on my finger. And I plan to make some changes myself. I’m going to try not to jump the gun, but like Sherrie said, you’re fine and I expect women to always be after you.”

  “Hey, just remember whoever is after me, I only have eyes for you. If I’d wanted anyone else, I wouldn’t be here with you. And believe me when I tell you, I will never hurt you.” I pulled her into my chest for a much needed hug.

  “Remember, I told you, I saw what that shit did to my mother, I will never do that shit to someone else. Besides, she’d have my balls if I even think of doing that skeazy shit. Add the fact that she’d be disappointed as hell if I turned into one of those assholes, and I never disappoint my mother.”

  “Thanks Max. I’m going to try really hard to hold onto everything you’ve said and done in the future.”

  “That’s all I ask. Now let’s go take a shower, I want to wash this damn day off me.”

  Of course I nailed her in the shower. It was fast hard and hot, but it was nothing in comparison to what I did to her once I got her back to our bed.

  Raw emotion hit me out of nowhere when I put her beneath me and slid into her heat. My hands trembled and I think my heart did a little bit of that as well when I thought of all I could’ve lost.

  “I’m sorry that you were hurt because of me. Sorry that something that was supposed to be beautiful got fucked up, again, because of me.” She lifted her lips for a kiss and I felt the tremble in them.

  It took me a minute to realize she was crying as I fucked her. “I was so scared Max.” She grabbed onto me and cried into my chest and I stopped moving.

  “Stop crying, you have nothing to be scared about. Look.” I reached for the ring I’d placed back on the nightstand and lifted her finger.

  “This, says that you’re mine, that all your fears and worries now belong to me.” I slid the platinum and diamond ring on her finger and felt something inside me settle.

  “Put it away baby girl. Know that I’ll always stand between you and whatever life throws at us but we have to do this shit together.” Her tears dried up and she looked at her ring with that light in her eyes that I’d been hoping for.

  “I love you. I love you in a way that’s never gonna go away. I don’t care what you think you know about marriage and family, I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you how it’s supposed to be done.”

  “Oh Max, thank you. Thanks for always knowing what to say.” I surged into her hoping that I could keep that promise wishing that for the rest of my life I never have to watch her go through anything like she did today.

  I paid a visit to Arlene’s husband a few days later with a nice restraining order and a warning. As it turns out he’d already kicked her out of the house and was thinking divorce; not my problem.

  The cops were still trying to figure out who put Ray in the hospital but no one had come knocking at my door, and Cox was back to being an asshole.

  I tried asking him about that shit and that fool blew cigar smoke in my face and acted like he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I almost like him. Asshole!

  Around my place things were back to normal. The women were into the holiday season that was right around the corner, my girl was happy and smiling all the time and I was having more sex than I did when I was a horn dog. Her teenage ass is horny as hell.

  Life had smoothed out nicely, my only worries now were where to hide her gifts that I was hording because I couldn’t pass a store window without seeing something that I liked for her.

  I would’ve chosen Tony’s place but he has bitch teeth in his head where the women in our family are concerned, and mom’s was a solid no. In the end I chose aunt Jess because she’s worst than that damn KGB.

  I was keeping my eye out for any sign of pregnancy but that shit didn’t look like it was gonna appear anytime soon, even though I counted and she hadn’t had a period. I figured she’d know and since she wasn’t saying anything…well.

  Holiday season in the city was just what I hoped it would be. We did all the kitschy shit people who have nothing better to do-do and she loved every minute of it.

  I had a tree in my apartment for the first time since I bought the place, and stayed the hell out of her way when she decided to decorate the place like a freaking department store. She’d taken over my shit.

  I didn’t care, no one was messing with my shit. Her school was going the way she wanted and our life was settling down to something resembling normalcy.

  Xmas morning she woke up puking and I finally got my gift. I ignored her grouching in between bouts of sickness and nailed her in the walk-in closet while the others were cooking in the kitchen. She was not amused.

  Mom, the baby hound got wind of that shit the second time she made a run for the bathroom to throw up and that quick Xmas was forgotten and wedding planning was in full swing.

  That night when we went to bed you’d think her life was over. She was afraid that she wouldn’t be able to teach with a baby onboard, but some quick research soon put her mind at rest. I did some quick talking and pretty soon she was riding my dick and all was forgiven.

  Of course that wasn’t the en
d of it. But because I was so excited, she soon followed suit and it only took her until the new year to lose the hunted look from her face.

  Every morning we jumped on the rollercoaster in her head until she calmed the hell down and then life went on. Meanwhile I was looking forward to her gaining weight so that I didn’t have to fret every time she walked out the door. The struggle is real.

  Of course with my luck she fucking glowed and was even more beautiful and I was giving serious thought to becoming her personal bodyguard.

  We had one hell of a fight when it came to choosing a doctor because she didn’t think it made a difference whether it was a male or female, I beg to differ.

  We ended up with a female in her fifties who thought I was cute because of all the questions I asked. Tony was on a new kick, reminding me that

  I wasn’t the first father to be in the universe. Asshole.

  And yet the night she went into labor at her damn studio he was as nervous as I was. Sherrie drove us all to the hospital, keeping everything calm, as she yelled out the window at New York city drivers to get the fuck out of her way before she mow them down. Good times.

  I made it through labor, I don’t know how and promised never to do that shit again. She was supposed to be the one in pain, but I swear I felt every twinge. That shit’s for the birds.

  But I do know in that room my life came full circle. I was a dad, I was a husband. I had the family that I never expected to have and I knew there was no way I would ever leave them. Because me without her, was something I never want to know.

  Epilogue

  I heard the pitter patter of little feet two minutes before a heavy weight landed on my head and another half minute before one hit me in the chest. I lifted my arms up and around so that the little canons didn’t fall off the bed and crack their skulls.

  Two minutes later I heard the waddle. “Shh, boys you’re gonna wake daddy.”

  “Too late.” I cracked an eye open and watched her sit gingerly on the bed.

  “Were you sick?”

  “As usual.”

  “And you didn’t wake me why.”

  “Because I already had my hair in a ponytail. I prepared from the night before.”

  “Do you think that’s all I’m doing, holding your hair while you’re sick?” I sat up and put my sons in the middle of the bed out of danger. Her belly was round as a butterball and almost as big as it was when she was carrying the twins, even though there was only one in there this time.

  I didn’t need the ultrasound to tell me this one was

  female, shit, everything about her screams I am woman hear me roar. With the boys she was sick for a couple months in her first trimester, with this one she’s been sick since conception and we’re hitting month nine.

  With the boys her mind was still in tact, relatively, with this one she’s a raving lunatic half of each day. She cries at the drop of a hat and I’m public enemy number one.

  With the boys sex was still on the table, but I respected her space and let her call the shots. With this one she wants sex on tap and I’m just a walking dick that she takes out to play with whenever, wherever, true story.

  She’s sick as soon as she opens her eyes in the morning, for about half an hour and the rest of the day she’s on speed. I can’t keep up. And I love every minute of it.

  After the initial shock of hearing I’m pregnant, when the boys were barely a few months old I’ve been onboard. I like pregnant Annabelle. For one I get more time with her, she relies on me more, which makes me feel all manly and shit, and she needs more cuddles.

  I have no problem reassuring her that she’s beautiful because she fucking glows, so except for the moments of insanity here and there throughout the day, she’s perfect.

  I’d barely gotten used to being a new dad when her pregnancy was confirmed. I thought she would freak for sure, but she took it in stride and since I was the one who got her that way in the first place, I was there every step of the way.

  I didn’t pawn her off on mom or any of the other women in our lives, but stayed by her side throughout the whole thing just like I did with the first one.

  Every doctor’s appointment, every crazy craving, every crying jag, I was the man. I juggled the twins and their crazy mother like a pro. That’s why I’m not pleased that she didn’t wake me when she was being sick.

  “Who’s downstairs?”

  “The whole gang.” I’d given into her bullshit and bought a house on the island not far from mom’s. Tony and I had put together and bought aunt Jess her own place around the corner and before we knew it Sherrie and Trevor had followed. Now we own practically the whole block.

  The only one missing was Travis who had gone off to college a little after the boys were born, but he comes home every chance he gets and had promised to be here for the birth of this one.

  Every morning I have a houseful of people because her due date was around the corner and everyone wanted in. Still with all the help around here, our kids won’t let anyone do shit for them except me or their mother.

  Ergo the early morning wakeup call from the twins. “They been fed and watered or are they waiting for daddy to do that?”

  “You know the drill. Grandma Sophie already have their oatmeal ready we’re just waiting for you.”

  So why was she telling them not to wake me? Her hormones must be out of whack again. “Are you sure you’re doing okay?” She’d been rubbing her tummy the whole time we were talking with that constipated look on her face.

  “I don’t…” She flew off the bed and made a mad dash for the bathroom leaving me with a dilemma.

  I grabbed the boys and put them on the floor, closed the bedroom door and made it into the bathroom in less than a minute.

  “I’m here baby.” I held her hair which she’d let down because she thought she was out of the danger zone and talked to her calmly while she spilled her guts.

  This is the only part of this shit I hate. If I could do this for her I would in a heartbeat, well this and the actual labor. That shit is all kinds of fucked up. In fact if I could sleep through this one that’ll be great, but that wouldn’t be fair.

  I still have nightmares of watching my sons being born, could still hear every scream and if my career wasn’t already over I’m pretty sure what she did to my hands would’ve ended it.

  People say you never remember because of the joy of having a baby, that’s true to a point. But watching the woman you love in that kind of pain is a game changer.

  Had I not already promised to protect and love her for the rest of my life. To never do anything to bring her pain, that shit would’ve cinched it. Any

  man who can watch his woman go through that shit and still hurt her is a certifiable asshole.

  “Come on baby, let’s get you back to bed.”

  “I can’t, I have to head into the city.”

  “No, you don’t. The others are already there and Sherrie’s going in later.”

  I lifted her and took her back to bed. “Where are the kids?” I looked around the room at her question. The little shits were nowhere to be seen. I didn’t panic, I’ve learned not to do that after the third or fourth time they pulled this stunt.

  I looked under the bed, behind the bed and behind the bureaus with no luck. I heard a noise in the walk-in closet and headed in that direction. “Found them.”

  They were sharing one of my belts between them. “Okay boys, let’s get you fed. The meat’s already off that one.” I lifted one bruiser under each arm which they found hilarious.

  Their raucous laughter made my heart skip a beat, almost the way their mother’s still does. She was fast asleep on my pillow and the love welled up inside me so strong it almost took me to my knees.

  How did I become this person? How had I become so lucky, or what great thing have I done in my life to deserve this euphoria? Some days I sit and look at them and a sudden fear hits me in the gut.

  The fear of ‘what if’. What if I hadn’t
stopped her that first day? What if I’d given up in the beginning when she was being such a hard ass? What if she’d walked away from me when Arlene was trying her best to break us apart?

  I can’t imagine life without her, can’t picture what that would look like. And because of that I’m a whole lot over protective, over bearing and downright out of my mind, but I wouldn’t change a thing.

  In the past couple of years I’ve watched her grow and though some people may find something wrong with a twenty-two year old working on baby number three, it works for us.

  She’s taken to motherhood as well as she did dancing and because I stay on top of shit, she hasn’t had to lose anything, didn’t have to give up her dream to fulfill mine.

  She’d aced her classes at Colombia which she

  didn’t plan on using. Her school had expanded to the point that she was talking about opening another one here on the island, something I was behind one hundred percent.

  We spend almost all day together everyday, something that I would’ve thought would make me nuts, but I literally break out in a cold sweat if she’s gone for more than a couple hours.

  It’s the running joke among the family, my attachment issues. And everyone knows I don’t like sharing my wife with anyone but our kids.

  She’s the one who reassures me while I’ve become the bitch. I’m borderline obsessive and all the way possessive and I don’t give a damn how much Tony laughs at my ass.

  I love that my love makes her glow. I love that her faith in me and my love for her has allowed her to spread her wings. Because she knows that no matter what I have her back.

  I do everything to assure her that I’m not going anywhere and it’s not a drag because it comes easy. This love shit is the best racket going. Because while I’m reassuring her, I’m falling more in love

  with her.