Want It

by Jennifer Chance

  —

  Erin woke up to find Zander watching her as she lay on the blanket, his lean, ripped body blocking out the sun. He smiled, a little embarrassed, and looked away as she blinked and sat up, but even in the few months they’d been dating she’d gotten used to him just…watching her. Like when he didn’t think she was paying attention, or didn’t know she was awake. They’d only been together officially a little while now, just since the beginning of the summer, and here it was almost August. These two months had seemed like a treasure to Erin, like something she could tuck away in a memory box and pull out years from now, and it would still be fresh and new, pretty and perfect and filled with possibility.

  She leaned back on her elbows, looking out over the edge of the promontory. Like a lot of places along the cape, the rocks here fell away sharply to the ocean below, and the view was spectacular. You could get to the beach by taking a winding trail down the side of the bluff, but it was nice up here with the breeze and the view—a quiet place away from everyone and everything, where it could just be her and Zander.

  He stretched out now on the blanket, and it was her turn to gaze down at him. His happy, relaxed face, his long, lanky body, just now beginning to show some bulk. He was wearing threadbare trunks but expensive water shoes, and that was perfect Zander. He didn’t care about a lot of stuff, but what he cared about mattered. He had a watch that he could dive with, and he lusted over insanely expensive cars. But he would be just as happy hanging out in a tent as living in his family’s nice home, and he never seemed to care about clothes or the newest video-game consoles or any of that. He was just comfortable being himself. Easy in his own skin.

  She wondered what that must feel like.

  “You ever think we could just walk out of here, down that road, and never come back, just the two of us?” he asked, bringing her attention back to him with a snap.

  “What?” she asked, frowning down at him. “You mean, like, just run away?”

  “Sure,” he said, rolling over to look at her. “You like me, I like you. We match. We could go anywhere, and do anything, because we’re together, you know? And as long as we’re together, the rest of it will all work out.”

  He said it all so offhandedly, all Erin could do was stare at him. “You’re not being serious,” she said.

  He grinned. “And you’re not being serious enough. Not about the stuff that matters, anyway.” He leaned up and kissed her, and Erin still couldn’t find anything to say. “So, you don’t ever think about that, I guess?”

  “Well, I mean, sure, I suppose,” she said, though even she could hear the denial in her voice. “I mean, I think about walking off and going somewhere else, starting over, where nobody knew anything about me and I could do whatever I wanted, I just…” She shrugged helplessly. “I guess I never thought I would be going with someone when I did that.”

  As soon as she said the words, she felt her cheeks flush, like she’d somehow given away too much.

  “See?” Zander said, diving for her and rolling with her on the blanket till he had her pinned beneath him. “This is what I’m talking about. You need to think about these things. They’re important.”

  She giggled and squirmed, trying to break out of his grasp, but she knew it was a losing battle. “Promise me!” he said sternly. “Look me in the eye and solemnly swear that from this day forward, you won’t go walking off into the sunset unless I’m right there by your side.”

  “What?” Erin laughed, her eyes wide. This was as close to a declaration of forever as anyone had ever made to her. Hell, not even her own mother had ever promised her such a thing. “Zander, what are you talking about?”

  “Promise me!” he said, giving her a little shake as he grinned down at her. “I’m just gonna hold you down until you do.” He leaned down close, his face inches from hers. “Hmmmm. Hold you down and kiss you, maybe. That’ll teach you.”

  And he dropped his lips to Erin’s, the move so sudden and sweet that he stole her breath away. Then he was up again, his eyes all fake serious as a grin played around his mouth. “Better promise me quick,” he said, waggling his brows. “It’s just going to get worse from here.” And he plunged down again and kissed her hard this time, and then she was laughing and he was laughing and she gasped out “I promise!” before he could swoop in a third time. He halted above her. “Promise what, soldier?”

  “Promise that I won’t go walking off into the sunset unless you’re right there by my side.”

  “Right. No solo sunsets?”

  “No solo sunsets,” she said, and he pulled her up beside him then as he stood, dropping her hands to stretch up into the sunlight. And that’s when it happened—her heart just sort of crystallized in that moment, that moment of Zander and sunshine and endless summer, and she knew she would never stop loving him, no matter how many sunsets they shared.

  “It’s getting hot,” she said, shaking her head hard to keep the sudden and completely irrational tears at bay. “Why don’t we go down for a swim?” She leaned down and pulled up the blanket, folding it quickly in her arms.

  “Ya knowwww,” Zander said, his gaze swiveling from her to the edge of the promontory. “Why don’t you leave that here, and we’ll just jump?”

  “Jump?” She glanced to the edge of the rocks, startled. “No way, Zander, it’s too far!” But even as she stood there, Zander was loping forward, turning around to laugh at her as she hurried to keep up. Jumping off the bluffs was completely illegal, but that didn’t stop Zander from doing it—nothing stopped Zander from doing what he wanted, even if it was stupid, even if it was illegal, even if it was reckless or dangerous, and especially if it scared the crap out of her.

  “Chicken!” Zander shouted, his words floating back to her. “See you at the beach!” And his voice was so full of life and joy that Erin finally stopped and just watched him racing toward the bluff, building up momentum. She knew he was going to jump—he was always going to jump—and at the last minute, as he sailed off the edge of the bluff and into open space, she felt that sickening lurch of her heart and her stomach as a lifetime full of sunsets soared into the sky with him, then disappeared over the edge of the cliff.

  Zander’s exhilarated whoop trailed up with a gust of wind, and Erin was off and running again, but this time for the trail down the bluff to the beach far below, her heart still pounding as she prayed that Zander would be okay, that he would always be okay, and that they’d get a chance to see just one more sunset together before he did the next crazy impossible thing that popped into his head.

  —

  “You doing good back there?”

  Zander’s words brought her back and Erin blinked. “Yes! Yes, all good.” They were approaching a long line of cars at a bridge, and she was struck with how, well, how normal everything seemed. Not that she wanted a big shoot-out at the Mexican O.K. Corral, but if they went through this with no more trouble than a trip to the grocery, she admitted that a small part of her would be…ever so slightly disappointed. She’d read a tiny amount about the drug trade in Mexico, and about people who ran afoul of the dealers. It seemed a lot more scary on the Internet than it did driving around in a rental car.

  She frowned as they drove past the first bridge. “Isn’t that where we’re headed?”

  Rey glanced at her in the rearview mirror, his ever-present smile still curving the edge of his mouth. “No, ma’am. That’s what we call Bridge Number One—a good enough bridge, don’t get me wrong. But the one we want is Bridge Number Two. I have a pass for the SENTRI lane there.” He tapped a small hang-card he’d slung over the rearview mirror.

  “Like an express lane?” she asked, and Rey nodded.

  “Exactly like that.”

  They turned onto the bridge, and Erin watched the sunlight playing over scorched concrete as they made their way across the arching expanse. “So, is it really as dangerous here as I read about? Should I be worried?”

  “You? Not at all.” Rey shrugged. “You
have Zander with you, and he seems like a smart guy. You seem like a smart woman. With two smart people, I have found that there is never much need to be worried.” They bumped off the bridge and down onto the street, Rey handling the vehicle easily to get over to the first exit, heading west. “Now if you were dumb? Well, that would be another thing altogether. Camino Real, yes?” Rey asked, and Zander nodded, while Rey flashed Erin a bright grin in the rearview mirror. “Then your adventure begins, my very smart friends. Welcome to Nuevo Laredo.”

  Chapter 14

  Rey dropped them off a few blocks from the hotel with a promise to return whenever they needed him, and Erin held their bags in the bright, reasonably safe-looking lobby while Zander arranged for their room. He spoke clear, guileless English with none of the hardness she’d already grown accustomed to hearing in his voice. The first room they were offered was on an upper floor, but Zander charmed the blushing young receptionist into switching them to a room on the first floor, with a slider that opened right out on the pool.

  She thinned her lips. That seemed a little dangerous, but then again, they now had two ways out of their room, should they need them. And by his own loud and cheerful admission, Zander just “wanted him and his sweetheart to be closer to the pool.” He appeared to be who he said he was—her harmlessly hot boyfriend, traveling with her into Mexico to see what life was like south of the border. They could have been any young couple on a post-college trip, off on a quick vacation before the cares of the real world intruded. They were the right age, after all—both of them twenty-two. They both were dressed like college kids in light cotton gear and sandals. So what if Zander’s eyes never stopped moving and Erin jumped every time she heard a loud noise? That sort of thing could be easily explained away.

  Despite the last-minute switch, it appeared that their room was ready—not all that surprising, given that the illustrious Camino Real hotel wasn’t even half-full, if the cars in the lot were any indication. Still, Erin found herself holding her breath as they bypassed the elevator and passed a gold sign proclaiming POOL with an arrow pointing down a dimly lit corridor of well-worn carpet and faded walls, everything in varying shades of gold, red, and brown.

  “Really?” she finally asked, as they paused in front of their door. “A room near the pool?”

  “I like to swim.” Zander flashed her a grin, his words light and easy. Then his gaze held hers for a moment longer. “And you know who else likes to swim? Families. Big, splashy families with lots of kids and moms who watch everything and who pick up on who’s staying in what rooms. Families and couples that are up all hours of the night arguing, talking, laughing, complaining. That’s who’ll be in the rooms around us, instead of being stuck on a quiet floor several stories up where we don’t know who we’ll be surrounded by—if anyone, given how full this hotel doesn’t appear to be.”

  He waited for her to nod her understanding, then turned back to the door of their room, sliding in the key card. He pushed the door open, and in just a few steps he was across the open space, pulling the curtain wide in front of the sliding door, checking the lock. “It’s not dusty,” he said. “Means the room has been used recently. That’s good.” He moved over to the bathroom and stepped inside. Wanting to make herself useful, Erin crouched down and checked the underside of the bed, grateful she didn’t see anything clutching the king-size box springs.

  Then she stood, eyeing the bed with a sudden memory of the king-size bed she’d just shared with Zander—and what they’d done in it. That was just sex, she told herself. Like Zander had said, a distraction to keep her mind off what was about to happen next, so she didn’t get overwhelmed with anxiety. Still, she felt vulnerable, exposed, her emotions a little too raw. “With all of those families drawn to the pool area, you’d think they’d have rooms with two double beds, not a king,” she said, trying to keep the comment light.

  Zander glanced up from where he was going through the bags, the blue and pink backpacks now looking a bit worse for wear. They were the kind of packs any college kid would carry down for a jaunt over the border…except one of them was stuffed full of hundred-dollar bills. His gaze went from her to the bed, then back again. He eyed her with sudden awareness. “You got a problem with sharing a bed with me?”

  “Of course not,” Erin said hurriedly. “I was just making an observation. You know, because of what you said about the families and whatever.” She walked over to the sliding door, peering through the glass. The pool was larger than she expected, a concrete rectangle with an additional round pool off of it in the distance, probably a hot tub.

  “What, no tiki bar?” She jumped as Zander came up behind her, and he looked over her shoulder at the sunbaked pool. “Looks like a piece of crap, but I guess it’ll do.” He shifted his gaze down to her, no doubt taking in her rigid shoulders, her hands clenched on her bag. “You okay?”

  Erin sighed, busying herself with her purse. She pulled out her cellphone, glanced down at it. “I just want this over with, I guess. I can’t believe we have to wait two more hours to—”

  Her phone rang.

  She was so surprised that she almost dropped the thing, but as it was she jumped a good foot back, her hand clenching. Zander moved with her, his manner once again tight and fast. “Okay, so now we know that they know we’re here,” he said, speaking quickly as the phone rang a second time. “That’s good. They probably had an alert set up at the front desk, but that’s good. That means they want the money, and that your parents are still okay, you got that? Everything’s just fine. Just answer and hold the phone away from your ear a bit, exactly like last time.”

  She nodded, fumbling the phone on as it neared the end of its third ring. “Hello? Hello!” she managed to say, not even needing to fake the tremor in her voice. “This is Erin. We’re here. Hello?” Zander gave her the thumbs up, as if she was actually acting, but the voice on the phone was warmer this time—friendly, almost gracious.

  “Good. Welcome to Mexico, Miss Connelly. You have a car?”

  Erin’s eyes jumped to Zander. He shook his head furiously and mouthed, “Cab.”

  “No. No, we took a taxi service over, and they dropped us off. We didn’t know…we didn’t know what would be best.” She stretched her face into a “What do I do?” grimace, and Zander gave her another thumbs up, his mouth tight but his expression still even. Okay, she thought. He was okay with this.

  There was a moment’s brief discussion on the other end of the line, then the man was back. “Rent a car, no driver,” he said. “Tomorrow morning at ten A.M., you bring it to this address.” He began to rattle off words.

  “Hold on, hold on!” Erin cried.

  Zander was shaking his head no, but Erin ignored him. She ran to her purse, dumping it on the bed. A pen fell out, but she had no notebook. She fumbled and then spied the notepad, but Zander blocked her grab for it.

  “No,” he mouthed, and she’d never seen him look so angry. It completely transformed his face, turning him into a man she didn’t even know, and Erin faltered, her eyes riveted on Zander as the man started speaking again, repeating the address.

  “Um, I’m not sure that we can do that—,” she finally managed.

  “It is a private residence,” the man said. “You cannot see it from the access road. However, there will be a gate that will open at ten o’clock. You can—”

  Zander’s look was furious enough to sting her into speech. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand!” Erin babbled. “I don’t know…I don’t think…can’t we just meet here? There’s a bar and there’s people and it would be easy.”

  “You want to meet there?” The man’s voice was smooth, unperturbed, but Erin could barely hear him over a sudden and unmistakable cry of alarm from deeper in the room. Speakerphone, she thought belatedly. And it was already too late.

  “Erin, for God’s sake, this isn’t the time to be stubborn.” There was no denying the strain in her mother’s voice, but at least she sounded more indignant than scared.
“Just listen to what the man says and then do it.”

  “Mom!” Erin gasped, and in that moment, all her anger, all her outrage evaporated. “Mom, are you still okay? Have they hurt you?” Zander reached for the phone, but Erin spun away. “Hello?”

  “Erin, it’s all right. We’re okay.” A second voice. One she didn’t recognize. The boyfriend? Had to be, though he sounded remarkably sane compared to her mother’s usual tastes. “They’ve treated us better than we expected, truly. Your mom is fine, everything is fine—”

  “No! She needs to understand that—” Her mother’s voice cut off abruptly, and Erin gripped the phone as Zander also went tense beside her.

  “Hello? Hello! Please, you have to—”

  “You are to bring a car here, Miss Connelly, at this address—”

  Zander moved so abruptly that Erin blinked, wheeling back and almost toppling onto the bed. He shoved a piece of paper in front of her face and jabbed a finger at it, and she was so startled that she just read it out loud. “No! No, we can’t do that. You need to bring them here. I’m too scared. I have the money but you have to meet us here!”

  No sooner were the words out of her mouth than Zander reached out and grabbed the phone, yanking it from her grasp and terminating the call, cutting off Erin’s unfeigned sob of outrage in the process. To the man on the other end of the phone, it would have seemed that she’d just hung up the phone in the midst of a hysterical outburst.

  Which she was just about to have.

  “What did you just do!” she wailed.

  —

  “I just kept us from walking into a goddamned clusterfuck is what I did,” Zander snapped back. He threw the phone down on the bed and spun around, pressing his hands to his temples. “For the love of Christ, Erin, what was that about? You were going to agree to go to some stupid-ass off-site location? In the middle of goddamned nowhere, in a city you don’t know, and a country that’s not yours? Are you trying to get us killed?”

  “I didn’t have any choice!” Erin said, and Zander spun back to her. Whatever expression he had on his face made her back up a step. Good.