The Prince of Punk Rock

by Jenna Galicki

  Her sister Ella picked up one of the shirts. “You made these?”

  “I designed them. I didn’t construct them. I just don’t have the time. They’re silk screened by a supplier.” She held up the embellished corset top. “These are the ones I make. I sew them myself. They’re our best seller.”

  Ella fingered the metal studs, turned the top inside out and examined the hem and the stitching. She was Jessi’s toughest critic. “This is impeccable, Jessi. I’m really proud of you.” She held it up to her chest. “I want one. You’re wasting your time at that small house you work for. You should be with a major design label.”

  Ella was right. The label she worked for didn’t give her the proper credit she deserved. They were always telling her to edit, edit, edit. They said her garments were too avant-garde and weren’t marketable. She knew she belonged at a trendier house with edgy designs, but without her degree she was outshined by her competitors.

  Maggie stared up at the display board behind the merch stand. “Are those guitar straps?”

  Jessi had two guitar straps hung on display, both riveted with studs. One said “Immortal Angel”, and the other said “Your band name here”. She took one down and handed it to Maggie. “I make these. They’re a big hit with local bands. I’m really behind on orders.”

  Maggie turned it over and saw Jessi’s name branded into the leather. “What’s this?”

  “My name. It was Angel’s idea. He said every designer puts their name on their merchandise.” It was a proud moment for her. She felt like a real designer.

  “He’s very smart.”

  “Yes, he is. And wait until you hear him sing and see him perform. He’s incredibly talented.”

  The show was scheduled to start soon, so she closed up shop and brought Maggie and Ella to the front of the stage.

  “Is it always this crowded?” Maggie asked.

  “Yeah. The band has a big following.”

  “And all these people know you by name?”

  “Yeah. Pretty much. I see them at all the shows.”

  The purr of Tommy’s Les Paul ripped through the room announcing the band’s entrance onto the stage, and the crowd screamed in unison. Ella and Maggie jumped at the unexpected uproar that surrounded them. As soon as Angel started to sing, Jessi’s sisters were mesmerized. Any amount of glowing praise she boasted about Angel couldn’t be conveyed by words alone, and they were unprepared for his stage presence. Angel had a charisma that reached into the audience and grabbed hold of you. It sucked you in and wouldn’t let you out until the music was over. Maggie and Ella were helpless victims.

  Angel saw Jessi and smiled at her through the lyrics. He recognized her sisters, even though he hadn’t met them yet, and strutted to the front of the stage. He knelt down and he made direct eye contact with Maggie and Ella as he sang. He leaned over and stretched his hand out. They both reached for it, but Maggie grabbed it first. Angel held onto her hand, leaned closer, and delivered the heart-thumping lyrics directly to Maggie. When he let go of her hand and sauntered back to the center of the stage to belt out the last half of the song in a pristine growl, Maggie grabbed her chest.

  “Oh my God, Jessi! My heart is about to explode out of my body! That was such a rush!”

  “Does he always perform like that?” Ella asked. “It seemed effortless.”

  “That was just Angel having fun. I don’t think he’s aware of the effect he has on people when he sings and performs. When he really lays it on, half this room is practically on their knees and the other half is jumping up to the ceiling.”

  It was Tommy’s turn at the front of the stage, only he didn’t play for Ella and Maggie. He played for Jessi. He always did, and it made her feel like a queen. He sat back on his knees, nodded at her and they shared a smile. The spotlight was on the two of them as he rattled off the intricate guitar solo, and she felt every pair of eyes gravitate toward her. Gooseflesh rose on her arms and the pitter patter of her heart made her feel like a teenager. She needed to cover her lips with her fingertips in order to suppress the jubilant emotions that bubbled up inside her. Every time he played for her, it felt like the first time. The thrill of being serenaded by the man you adored was a dream in itself, but it was her everyday life because of Tommy. When the guitar solo was over, he mouthed the words “I love you” clear enough for the world to see, then he leaned into the audience and gave her a tender kiss.

  The high-pitched screams of fan girls rang through the room. Ella threw her arms around Jessi and bellowed with excited laughter. “That was amazing! Did you see the way everyone was looking at you?”

  “I was only looking at Tommy.”

  Maggie was stunned by the guitar solo. “I’ve heard Tommy play before, but nothing like that. I knew he was talented, but that was beyond anything I ever expected. The band, Angel, this whole place. I didn’t expect it to be such a rush of energy. I feel like I just paid top dollar to see an internationally acclaimed rock band perform. Look at how many people are here. They pack this place with this many people every month?”

  Jessi nodded. She was beaming with pride.

  “Why don’t they have a record deal?”

  “It’s not that easy to get the attention of a record producer, but we keep trying. We’re not giving up.”

  “Are you two going to talk through the whole show?” Ella asked. “Look at this band perform!”

  Ella was right. That’s why Jessi asked them here tonight. She wanted her sisters to witness the show. They returned the attention back to the stage.

  Tommy slid on his knees and landed at Angel’s feet. His fingers raced over the neck of the guitar with ease. Angel grabbed a chunk of Tommy’s hair and pulled his head back so Tommy was forced to look at him. He leaned in close, so the only thing between them was the microphone. Their eyes were locked on each other. Nothing, not the stomping feet or unruly screams from the fans, nor the loud pounding of Jimmy’s bass drum, could break the connection that bound them together.

  It didn’t take much explaining for Jessi’s sisters to figure out what was going on between Tommy and Angel, and why she asked them to come to the show tonight. Their reaction was wide-eyed provocative laughter, mixed with a bit of envy.

  It was a wonderment how their conservative, uptight parents raised three very uninhibited and outspoken daughters. And they all agreed that telling their parents about Angel and Tommy and their polyamorous relationship, was out of the question.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  When Angel lingered at the kitchen table and let Jessi clear the dishes without protest, it meant something was on his mind. The crease in his brow, the pensive look in his eyes and the coffee cup held tightly in his hand, told Tommy it was something important – and he knew exactly what it was.

  Angel told his parents about their relationship with a casual phone call. It wasn’t exactly a surprise to them, so there was no drama. Angel’s parents embraced Tommy and Jessi into their family the moment they met. But Tommy still couldn’t find the courage to tell his own parents, and Angel, ever patient and supportive, didn’t pressure him.

  Angel felt his stare and met his eye. The wrinkle in his brow softened and a small smile appeared on his lips. “Why are you staring at me?”

  “I know what’s bothering you.”

  “Oh really?” Angel rested his chin on his hand. “So what am I thinking about, my prince?”

  Tommy couldn’t suppress the smile that spread across his face.

  “Now why are you smiling at me?”

  “Because I’m planning to tell my parents about us. I want to tell my brother first, though. I invited him to the show tonight, so he could see first hand, like Jessi did with her sisters.”

  Angel’s smile could have lit up the block. “I’m so happy, Tommy. I didn’t want to push too much on you at once. I didn’t want you to get overwhelmed, so I waited until you were ready.”

  “Well, I’m ready.”

  Tommy didn’t look for Robert

in the audience at The Quadrangle. He tried to forget that Robert was watching the show. But when Angel grabbed him on stage and placed a hard kiss on his mouth, he felt a sense of relief because it meant that he wouldn’t have to hide behind the lie that he’d been keeping from his family since he was an adolescent.

  When the show was over, he went to the room backstage and waited. It took almost 30 minutes before Robert showed up.

  “I was beginning to think you bailed on me tonight.” Tommy tried to sound relaxed and upbeat, even though his heart was about to leap out of his chest.

  Robert’s hands fidgeted inside the pockets of his hooded sweatshirt. “Well, to tell you the truth, I almost left.”

  His biggest fear was that he’d loose the respect of his little brother. “Do you hate me now?”

  “No. But, I’m really uncomfortable. I always looked up to you.”

  “And now you don’t? Because of what you saw on stage?” He wasn’t self-conscious anymore. He was defensive and forthright.

  “I looked up to you because you’re a rock star. But I didn’t know you were gay. You’re my brother. I should know something like that. These people know. Why not your own brother?”

  “I didn’t know how to tell you. This isn’t easy for me, you know.”

  Robert held out his hands, palms facing the ceiling. “I’m gay. That’s how.”

  “You’re OK with it?”

  “Well, it was a surprise. More like a shock. But now that it sunk in a little, I’m getting used to it. But what about Jessi? Are you getting divorced? I don’t want to lose my sister-in-law.”

  “No. I love Jessi. I’ll never leave her. I’m not gay, Robert, I’m bisexual.” He realized it was the first time he said the word out loud. He didn’t burst into flames. The earth didn’t stop spinning on its axis or come to a screeching halt and fall out of the sky. The world didn’t end. Robert didn’t even flinch.

  “So you get to be with the both of them. That’s pretty fuckin’ cool. Who’s better than you, big brother?”

  A giant wave of relief rained over Tommy. “Thank you. I knew I could count on you. How do you think Mom and Dad’ll take it?”

  Robert’s eyes widened a little. “They won’t take it so well. They’ll be shocked, especially Dad, but they’ll have to deal with it, I guess.”

  “I’m not looking forward to it, but I know I have to tell them. Soon. Angel waited so long. It’s not fair to him. It’s not fair to me.”

  “I’ll back you up. Just tell me when.”

  Tommy’s stomach was a massive knot of apprehension as he sat at his parents’ dining room table. This was where all important family matters, good or bad, were discussed. His parents thought his visit was simply to enjoy some time with Robert while he was home from college, but Jessi and Robert knew the truth. Tommy’s parents had no idea that he was about to give them the shock of their lives. It may very well fracture their relationship, but it was a chance he had to take. He wasn’t hiding the truth from anyone anymore – not even his parents.

  Tommy made eye contact with Robert across the table, while the ball of his foot bounced on the hardwood floor. Robert returned a supportive nod of the head. Tommy watched Jessi, engaged in a conversation with his mother about the new roses in the front garden. Without averting her gaze or skipping a word, Jessi’s hand found his thigh under the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

  Tommy’s father finally joined them, pushing the heavy oak chair back with his foot as he sat down with his coffee and the sports section. He studied the paper for a few minutes, and then threw it on the table. “How’s that band of yours, Tommy? Any interest from record producers yet, like that cocky singer bragged about?”

  Jessi slowly turned in his direction. “He’s not cocky, Martin. He’s very sweet and very talented. And his name’s Angel.”

  He waved a flippant hand. “I was just making a point. There aren’t any offers coming in, are there?”

  It wasn’t exactly the ideal opportunity to bring Angel into the conversation, but Tommy needed to use it to his advantage. “That’s the real reason we’re here today.”

  “Don’t tell me you got a record deal?” The surprise in his father’s voice almost mimicked pride.

  “No. I meant, Angel. I came here to talk to you about Angel.”

  His parents waited to hear what he had to say. The air thickened as silence fell over the table.

  Tommy averted their expectant stare, as the room slowly closed in on him. A dog barked outside and it echoed through the open window.

  Robert was the one to break the silence. “I hung out with Tommy and Angel last night. He’s cool. I like him. You should get to know him, Dad.”

  “And why would I do that?” He stirred his coffee. “He’s not a part of this family.”

  “Actually, he is part of this family,” Tommy said. “He’s my—”

  “He’s your what?” Deep wrinkles permeated his father’s forehead. “He’s your friend? You each have dozens of friends. I don’t have time to get to know all of your friends.”

  “He’s more than my friend. He’s my boyfriend.”

  The word dropped out of the sky like an atom bomb and detonated right in the middle of Martin and Barbara Blade’s dinner table.

  The horror that passed across his mother’s face couldn’t have been less dramatic if she saw an apparition of the devil himself. Then she burst into tears.

  Tommy’s father wore a mask of disgust and confusion. “What the fuck are you talking about? I do not have a gay son.”

  “You’re right. I’m not gay. I’m bisexual.” Jessi’s hand was on his thigh again, crushing it with encouragement. Her steadfast loyalty gave him the strength to continue. “Angel and I have been in a relationship for a few months, now. It’s time you knew the truth about me.”

  His father’s fingers gnarled into the wood on the edge of the table as he slowly pushed his chair back. He stood tall, all six foot three inches of him. “Are you trying to tell my you’re a faggot?”

  Indignation boiled in Tommy’s belly. He knew it was going happen sooner or later. He just never expected his own father to be the first one to call him a faggot. He pushed his chair back with the same resolve his father did a few seconds prior. He may have been two or three inches shorter, but his chest and shoulders were just as wide. Tommy gritted his teeth. “I’m not a faggot. And don’t you dare try to call Angel one.”

  They shared the same imposing stare as they stood chest to chest. It was a test of wills. Blade against Blade. His father’s nostrils flared and his mouth was rigid, but he said nothing. Their eyes deadlocked into one another. Blue ice against blue fire. Neither one backed down.

  “No son of mine is going to be out in public displaying that kind of lewd behavior. Rethink your declaration.”

  “There’s nothing to rethink.”

  His father’s face turned fire engine red and his voice boomed through the house. “I swear to God, Tommy, if you embarrass this family I’ll forget you’re my son!”

  Tommy leaned forward so they were almost forehead to forehead like two rams butting heads. “Stop trying to humiliate me! I’m not ashamed of who I am!”

  “Well, you should be ashamed! And I don’t want that . . . that . . . man in my house!”

  “I love that man!”

  “You disgust me!”

  “You disgust me!”

  Tommy’s mother stood up at the table. “Stop it!” she screamed. Her face was soaked with tears. She’d been crying since he blurted out the news about Angel. She fell back into her chair and continued sobbing. Jessi crouched at her side, stroked her arm and offered soothing words.

  “Do you see what you’re doing to your mother?”

  His father was trying to guilt him into . . . what? Changing? “I’m not doing anything except being myself! Why can’t you accept me for who I am? Why am I never good enough? I played college football! I’m a successful musician! Why can’t you be proud of me?”