by Hadley Quinn
He jolted with a yell, but the next thing he knew, a soft, sweet voice was hushing him, telling him everything was okay.
“Shh, shh, Tate, I’m here.”
Something was softly rubbing his chest, over his right pec where the next stabbing pain would have come from but didn’t. That was the bullet that was going to go straight through his body into Shane’s face, right before he got shot up with a dozen more.
He gripped whatever was touching him but didn’t pull it away; however, it twisted slightly, trying to get free.
“Tate, it’s Kellie. Babe, that hurts, okay?”
Kellie.
His eyes flew open. His breathing was out of control and he could feel the sweat had already collected on his body. The only difference this time was that he had a beautiful pink-and-brown-haired female nestled beside him on the couch. She didn’t look scared, but extremely concerned.
He practically flew off of the couch and took two steps away.
Kellie sat up, now looking completely confused. “You’re safe. It’s just me and you and we’re in my apartment.”
His mouth was so dry right now. Instead of responding, he walked across the room for the kitchen and helped himself to a bottle of water in the refrigerator. He drained it in a matter of seconds.
How in the hell did he let himself fall asleep like that?
Somehow Kellie knew he just needed some time to compose himself. She didn’t ask questions and she didn’t seem impatient for any explanation, but he could also tell she was worried about him.
Coming across the room again, he returned to the couch. He stood behind it and leaned his hands against the back of it while he thought of the right words to say.
“I don’t know if we should do that, Kellie,” he said softly. “I’m not sure if it’s safe for you to sleep so close to me.”
“Tate, I understand you have nightmares—”
“It’s not just the nightmares,” he sighed, hanging his head. “I…I can’t always help how I react to them.” He lifted his head to look at her. “What if I hurt you, sweetheart? I couldn’t live with myself if that ever happened, okay?”
Her face softened but she still looked concerned. “You didn’t even move. Your body just tightened up all of a sudden. You didn’t make a peep, either. I could just tell you were having a nightmare.”
Well that was a bit surprising. It felt like his body had been thrashing all over the place. And he could have sworn he was yelling. “Maybe that time,” he replied. “It’s not like that all the time, though.”
“I’m not scared of you, Tate—”
“Maybe you should be,” he growled harsher than he intended to. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “You should be,” he repeated softly. “This whole relationship thing… I’m not sure it can work for me when it comes to… You know, the sleeping together thing. Not sex, but actual sleeping. I can’t do it. I just don’t sleep well. I don’t want you to have to deal with that or anything else. You’ve seen what happens when I wake up like that.”
“Tate, I’m perfectly fine,” she smiled. “Look at me,” she motioned to herself.
She was so sexy in his t-shirt, but just the sight of her like that made him sad. He’d give anything to see that every morning, but this was territory he wasn’t used to being in. On his own, sure. But when it came to someone else’s well being, he didn’t know how to proceed. It was definitely something he needed to bring up in his next session.
“This time everything is fine, yes,” he answered, shaking his head.
She didn’t say anything for quite a while. He could feel her watching him, but he refused to make eye contact.
“I’ve already hurt you once, Kellie. The time you came into the office and woke me up. I don’t think I can do this with you. At least not yet.”
A single tear slid down her cheek but she stood from the couch and walked around it. “How do other people get through it?”
He couldn’t hold her innocence against her. It was a silent disease that not everyone could understand. And treatment? It was different for each sufferer.
“The things I’ve tried haven’t worked,” he told her. “I don’t know why, but my body reacts adversely to sleep meds. They make my body go crazy, like I want to climb the walls and rip my skin off. Besides, I don’t want to be dependent on that shit.”
“But what if it will help and… I mean, maybe situations like this,” she motioned to the couch. “Maybe you’ll have to accept some help to get you through it for now. Maybe after some time, this will gradually pass.”
“And what if I’m dependent on it for the rest of my life?” he asked. He decided to be completely honest with her. “Kellie, I had an issue with painkillers for a while. I don’t want to be addicted to anything like that again.”
Shit, he was having flashbacks to this same conversation with different doctors. It was frustrating, and he didn’t want to take it out on Kellie. He didn’t want her to see how anxious this had made him. The doctors and the shrinks… All of those had invaded his life for the past two years and it had worn him the fuck out.
He stepped closer to Kellie and pulled her to his chest. He could feel her exhale as she wrapped her arms around his body, and he loved the way she gripped him so tightly, it was almost like she could literally hold the pieces in place for a bit.
He glanced at the crazy clock in the kitchen. It was later in the morning than he’d expected—almost eight—and he needed to get home to shower and change. “How ‘bout I take you to breakfast before I head into work?” he asked, kissing the top of her head.
“I can’t, my shift starts in an hour-and-a-half. But what about lunch?” She leaned back to look at him, those dark blue eyes sparkling as she studied his face. She took a hand and softly brushed her fingers over the stubble along his jaw. “Will you meet me for lunch?”
He knew he had a two-hour gap at noon, so he nodded his head. And he also couldn’t turn down that beautiful face. “Twelve-fifteen?”
“Perfect,” she smiled. “I’ll text you the address before then.”
***
He’d been watching the clock all morning. Usually he never cared what time it was—one day just rolled right into the next—but he was looking forward to both hands hitting the twelve. The ink on his last client hadn’t taken as long as he’d calculated, so Tate had spent the past twenty minutes clock-watching.
Finally it hit noon, so he grabbed his keys and left out the back door. Lila knew he was checking out for a couple of hours, and since both Matty and Ponch were in the shop, there was plenty of help for walk-ins.
Traffic was a pain in the ass, but once he made it to the café that Kellie wanted to meet at, his impatience turned to excitement again. Tate walked straight to the back of the restaurant like she’d texted him. Apparently she had a “special” table she always sat at and she promised it would be empty. But as he slowed, the only private table was already occupied, and it wasn’t the gorgeous female he’d been looking forward to seeing. Instead, there was a dark-haired guy sitting at the table, preoccupied with a pile of papers in front of him.
Tate’s phone buzzed in his pocket, so in order to avoid an awkward encounter with a stranger, he turned away to read a text from Kellie.
B there in 5, sorry! Hang with my cuz for now xoxo
Tate glanced back over his shoulder just as the guy looked up. Recognition sank in as he briefly studied the familiar big-screen face looking back at him, and Tate tried to assess the situation quickly.
Kellie hadn’t mentioned they were eating lunch with Max McCallan.
“She’s on her way,” Max called to him, indicating the spot across from him. “Please, have a seat.”
Tate slid into the booth and held out his hand. “I’m Tate.”
Max shook it and smiled. “Max. Nice to meet you. Kellie’s told me a lot about you.”
Tate raised his eyebrows with surprise. She didn’t tell her brother jack shit, but she was fine sh
aring with him?
“Don’t worry, nothing bad. Yet.” Max smiled again, but it wasn’t a huge, debonair smile like the McCallans were known for. It was actually pretty relaxed and casual, maybe a bit reserved.
“Well that’s sweet of her,” Tate replied almost jokingly.
Max only nodded, but he was looking him over like he knew some sort of secret that Tate was unaware of. He didn’t give a fuck that Kellie’s family owned Hollywood, but here he was sitting with Max McCallan in an average restaurant and the guy looked like he was the one star struck, staring at Tate like he had something to say but couldn’t.
“I’m sorry, am I missing something?” Tate finally asked. He took a long drink of the water that was placed in front of him. Even the waitress stared at him longer than he felt she should before she walked away.
Max sighed and then lightly laughed, almost like he was still in awe of something. “Nah, man. I’m sorry.” He shook his head again and smiled. “It’s just…no one is used to seeing any guy that Kellie is dating. She doesn’t bring ‘em home to meet the family, you know?”
“She didn’t have to this time. Her family came to me.”
Max raised his eyebrows. “No shit? What do you mean?”
Tate briefly explained Jay’s random visit to the shop, and although he had no idea if he should be sharing that information with Max, he got the impression he already knew.
“Jay is a special guy,” Max stated.
Tate had to chuckle. All he knew from Kellie was that certain family members didn’t get along, and that sounded like sarcasm.
“No, no, I’m not being a dick,” Max corrected when he noticed Tate’s expression. “I really mean he’s a special guy. He looks out for Kellie like you wouldn’t believe. He’s definitely one you want on your side.”
“But you don’t get along with that family, right?” Tate took a chance asking. He knew that much about it, but nothing more that involved details.
He didn’t think Max would answer him. He was sitting there in thought, like he was deciding the best way to tell him to fuck off. Who knows, maybe the family had some kind of gag order that prevented any of them from sharing stuff.
But Max eventually shrugged. “Yeah, the family dynamics have changed a bit over the years. But I’m not gonna talk to you about that. No offense, but I hardly know you.”
“No offense taken,” Tate shrugged, just as the waitress returned and asked if they’d like to get started.
“No thank you, we’ll wait for Kellie,” Max smiled. “Coffee would be fine, though.” He faced Tate and asked, “You want some coffee or something?”
“Just water, thanks.”
The waitress smiled at them both and returned to the counter.
“Kellie’s from the family she’s from and she can’t help it,” Max continued. “But she doesn’t want it to play a part in any of her relationships. And she’s protecting the rest of us, too. She’s careful who she lets into our circle, if you know what I mean. That’s why this is weird,” he motioned between them. “I’ve never actually seen her with a guy that she chose to be with.”
“And do you give her shit about it too?” Tate asked. “I mean she basically has to hide it from everybody. Is it because you’re all on her ass about her social life and how it looks to the public?”
Max actually gave him an impatient frown. “Don’t get the family members confused, pal. My dad and grandpa? Yeah, they care. But the rest of us just want her to be happy. And Kellie doesn’t like media in her business, but you learn pretty quickly that it doesn’t matter if you do good or bad, people are going to judge you anyways. It can be a pretty lonely place a lot of times. But when it comes to making someone unhappy in the friends and family department? Yeah. She’s got issues with trying to please everyone, wishing we’d all get along. She’s kind of in the middle of it and always has been. Even the most accredited shrink couldn’t figure this family out.”
Kellie had said something similar. She hadn’t talked about her family much but she did say a little bit about how she wished some of them would get along.
“Well maybe she’s got a point,” Tate said. “What’s getting in the way? Pride?”
Max looked him over carefully. “What’s getting in the way of me getting along with my brother?”
Tate had to think for a second. Max’s brother… Kellie’s other cousin… He couldn’t even remember his name at the moment. “Sure,” he shrugged. “Why can’t you get along with your brother.”
“You’re biting off more than you can chew,” Max answered with a pleasant smile. “Stick to the basics first, like getting to know Kellie. She’s what matters here.”
“For sure, but I can tell that’s a huge part of her life. There’s a lot there in the past that has made her who she is today. I intend to get the real Kellie McCallan, not the one she displays for everyone else to see.”
Max was about to take a sip of coffee but paused. He didn’t respond at first as he looked at Tate over the brim of the mug. “Well I’m happy to hear it, but good luck with that,” he finally answered and then took a sip. “I mean you’ve got a good start if you’re here, but she’s got reasons that might change that pretty quickly.”
“What reasons?”
“Those are personal but it’s not a secret. She likes you but she doesn’t want to get hurt. There’s no special McCallan code to it, you feel me? It’s human nature. But there is a special McCallan penalty if you fuck her over, understand?”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it—”
“Don’t ‘yeah yeah’ me. I’m serious.”
“I get it because I have a sister,” Tate narrowed his eyes. “No one fucks with my sister, so I understand the protective code, okay? Now are you done with this? Because I really think you guys are wasting your time threatening me. I’m not backing down from something because someone tells me to, and I’m sure as fuck not afraid of any of you.”
“Noted,” Max replied. He took another sip of coffee before he set it down. “And I’m not threatening you. I love her like a sister and she’s really the only friend I trust. So being here with you—someone I absolutely know nothing about except Kellie’s approval of your character—this is hard for me.”
Tate could actually understand it, but before he could revert the subject back to Kellie, she appeared at the table with a huge smile on her face.
“Hey guys,” she greeted as she slid into the booth next to Tate. She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the mouth. “Sorry I’m late. Had to help with an emergency at the salon.”
“Someone get their eyebrows entirely waxed off?” Max asked dryly. “Please tell me it was a Kardashian.”
Kellie laughed out loud. “Um, nope. Just a hair color fix that another salon fucked up. Anyway, what’d I miss?” She smiled at both Max and Tate and waited for an answer.
“We were just talking about how you fart in your sleep sometimes,” Max answered with a straight face.
“You’re an asshole!” she gasped as she glared at Max, but her hand swung against Tate’s chest to backhand him.
“Ow,” he smirked at her. “Why am I the one getting punished?”
Her cheeks were a very cute shade of pink because of Max’s comment, but under her breath she replied, “Oh you just wait, you’re gonna get punished later on.”
Well okay then, he wasn’t going to argue with that…
Chapter Eleven
Sometimes things just happen when you’re least expecting it, and all the doubt and worry that you once had seems so insignificant all of a sudden.
At least that’s what Kellie had learned from Camryn several months back. It was during a conversation about Teague and how truly happy Camryn was with him. After she had lost her fiancée, Zach, she could never see a future with someone else. Not until Teague came along. Then life seemed to shift so naturally, all of her doubt and reservation slowly dissipated with every day she was with him.
Kellie was finally starting to feel th
at way with Tate. For the past few years, she’d closed herself off to feeling anything for a single person besides certain members of her family. Yep, she’d gone out with a lot of guys if they were within her grandfather’s realm of approved suitors, but it was out of obligation and never with any true interest.
It wasn’t just to temporarily please that side of the family every time; it was useful for other reasons as well, reasons she never wasted time trying to explain to anyone. She didn’t want to get close to anyone for fear that they’d use what they knew about her against her or her family. It was less complicated that way. Jay and Teague had always been upset whenever she’d go out with a celebrity their grandfather wanted her to be seen with, but she never really cared to justify her “compliance.” Sure, she was pleasing Grandpa, but she was also protecting herself.
Nobody ever seemed to realize that neutrality was way harder than choosing a side. There was a certain amount of peace she’d always tried to keep in the family, even when it made her extremely unhappy. For the past five years it had been one half of the McCallans versus the other, and to be honest, all of them had done something wrong one time or another. No one was entirely faultless in the least bit, but that fucking McCallan pride had become one detrimental son-of-a-bitch to all of them.
There were too many obstacles anymore.
Something tiny bounced off her forehead, bringing her back to reality. Tyse had flicked a balled up straw wrapper at her face from where he was sitting on the couch and was waiting for some kind of feisty reaction.
When she didn’t give one, he shook his head with a sigh. “Wow, you are somewhere else entirely today. What’s going on, Kell?”
She had specifically stopped by her brother’s house to talk to him about it, but now she wasn’t sure if she should. Even though Tyse was fairly new to the family, she had never felt that way about him. He was such a different personality than the rest of them, most likely because he hadn’t grown up in Hollywood like they had. He wasn’t so paranoid and closed off. He wore his feelings on his sleeve and was never afraid to speak the heartfelt truth. Maybe it was because he was a natural healer; the type that liked people to overcome physical limitations because of the job he held, but he also liked to make sure individuals were at peace with their lives.
