by Hadley Quinn
From the moment she’d met him, she couldn’t help but feel that she had so much in common with him. He was like the McCallan she wished she could be; open and honest with everything, upfront from the beginning that he was never going to choose sides. At first she’d thought he just didn’t want to make any waves with the big wigs, but Kellie soon realized that he truly didn’t care about that.
Tyse was courageous in a way that she only wished she could be. Teague and Jay had always rebelled against the family openly and never gave a fuck; Kellie was more like Tyse in the fact that she didn’t need that in her life, she just wanted to be comfortable in her own family for once without anyone mad at her.
“Talk to me,” Tyse said when Kellie hadn’t responded. “Thanks for bringing me lunch, and I’m always happy to see you, but this kind of sucks. You’ve obviously got something on your mind. I wish you’d share.”
She made eye contact for a few seconds and it was like that was all that was needed. Tyse was a sweet, sincere soul. She really needed that right now.
“If I tell you some things…things no one else knows…you’ll keep it to yourself, right?”
The corner of his mouth turned down into a frown. “Do you even have to ask me that? Of course I’ll keep it to myself.”
She took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Well…you might be surprised.”
His face deadpanned. “With this family? Are you serious?”
That made her laugh. “Okay, okay,” she nodded, feeling a little bit of tension lift from her shoulders. She paused for about ten seconds as she gathered her thoughts, but nothing ended up coming out of her mouth.
“Is this about Tate?” Tyse asked gently. “I know you guys are seeing each other. I mean Jay mentioned it, Sarah mentioned it because of Rayne…”
“Well, sort of,” she agreed. “It’s about him but…so much more.”
She looked at Tyse again and waited. For what, she wasn’t sure, but for some reason she felt like this conversation was going to change her life. She wanted it to be for the good, but it was that first heavy step she hadn’t taken yet.
However, she just went the direction that Tyse had for now. It wasn’t the only thing she wanted to talk about, but it was a start.
“Tate is…amazing,” she smiled sincerely. “I mean…he’s the kind of guy that I’ve been looking for. Well not actively looking for, but hoping for, I guess.”
Her brother smiled his understanding. “What is it about him, exactly?”
“It’s not really something about him… Well, maybe it is. I don’t know,” she shook her head. “It’s more like…how he makes me feel. I can’t really explain it for some reason. You know when you have someone in your life you don’t really know but you want to, and no matter what they turn out being like, you’re totally okay with it because you’re sure whatever it is, is exactly what you need? Except you don’t really know what it is because—Oh shit, I’m not making sense at all,” she groaned.
“Actually you are,” Tyse lightly laughed. “I know exactly what you mean. The first time I met Sarah, that’s how it was. Yeah I thought she was beautiful, but there was something else there. And then the more I was around her, it was like I didn’t care what she turned out to be like, I knew I wanted her to be with me. Yep, it sounds insane, but I do believe you meet people like that.”
“Even when there are things about them that you know are going to be really hard to deal with?”
He studied her for a few seconds. “Things like what?” he asked evenly, suddenly on guard. There was that protective brother coming out of him, but she could tell he was trying to be patient.
“Tate is a former marine,” she sighed. “He has PTSD. There have already been a couple of…issues because of it. I know it’s something he doesn’t have any control over, but I just want to help him. No matter the cost.”
Tyse took a silent breath of air. “And what cost are you talking about, Kellie? My mind is going all over the place right now. I’ve worked with a few soldiers; they are not just recovering from physical injuries…”
“I know, and it’s probably what you’re thinking. He has night terrors and…things happen.”
“Like what?”
She paused. “Like things that could be harmful to anything or anyone around him at the time.”
Tyse released another breath of air he seemed to be holding. He paused briefly before he asked, “Has he hurt you, Kellie?”
“No,” she shook her head adamantly. “No, he hasn’t. But it’s his fear that he will and it’s already affecting things between us. We’ve been together for a few weeks now but it’s like we can’t even have a normal relationship when it comes to that kind of stuff. You know, sleeping in the same bed.”
“If he’s worried about it, then there’s a good reason for it. Do not take it lightly, Kell.”
“I know, but…” Sarah’s little dog ran across the carpet and hopped up on Kellie’s lap. It was kind of the perfect distraction, so she gave the hairy little thing some attention. “Have you guys talked to Olivia lately?” she asked out of the blue as she pet the dog delicately. It was so little compared to Tucker and Tank, she was always afraid she’d hurt it.
Tyse seemed surprised. “Uh, Sarah talks to her sister now and then—maybe once every couple weeks. Why? And excuse me if it sounds rude, but why would you ask about Olivia?”
Shit. Fuckety fuck and just…shit. She knew very well that Tyse didn’t know what she knew about Olivia Douglas. It’s what she wanted to talk to Tyse about, but she hadn’t decided on a way to do it. Maybe now was the perfect opportunity, especially because Tyse could obviously read she was hiding something.
“There’s something I want to talk to you about, even though I don’t know if I should,” she admitted.
Tyse took a moment to respond but said, “Okay. But just know that you can tell me anything and I’ll be as objective as I can about it.”
“I know, and that’s exactly why I came to you. It’s something that’s been weighing on me for a long time and I think you’re the only one I can come to about it. You’re the only one that’s kind of in the same position as me. In the middle of everything. The situation isn’t the same though. I’ve been dealing with this shit for the past five years or so. I just—”
“Kellie,” he interrupted gently. “Honestly, you can talk to me about anything. I swear.”
She took a deep breath and released it. “Okay. Well, I’m not going to beat around the bush, then. Bottom line, Teague and Jay have been at odds with Max for a few years now, right?”
Tyse nodded his head.
“Well I know why, and you know some of their history, but I’ve never really wanted to accept it or take sides, you know? I feel that everyone deserves a chance, even when we fuck up. Well, especially when we fuck up—”
“I know that you and Max are close.”
Kellie paused with her mouth open. And looking Tyse over, he really didn’t look surprised at all.
“I can tell,” he continued. “It’s the little things I’ve noticed, and your reactions to some of the family drama. And to be honest, I really do get it. You’re right, I haven’t been in the middle of this for long—and I only know of the history by hearing the different versions be told—but I can tell that you’ve never picked a team, so to speak. And there’s nothing wrong with that, by the way. You want friendly waters and I understand that.”
“But you don’t think it’s possible,” she concluded, just from the look on his face.
“Well… Not for some,” he admitted. “But with Max… Yeah, I see it.”
That was truly surprising. Max had been nothing but a total dick to Tyse since he arrived. It wasn’t that he sought out every opportunity to bring Tyse down, but her cousin was naturally defensive when it came to trusting other people. And even though Max never used it as an excuse, Kellie felt he was absolutely justified in feeling that way.
“You barely know Max,” she stated. �
�And you even decked him in the face a few months ago. Why are you defending him?”
“He deserved it at the time, and I won’t apologize for it,” he replied candidly. “And I’m not defending him, just defending him within the general situation. I try to put myself in others’ shoes and Max has some big ones to fill, I’ve learned. I definitely wouldn’t want to be in his position.”
“You don’t even know the half of it, Tyse,” she sighed.
She wanted to tell him so badly, but it was Max’s secret not hers. All she wanted was for people to understand what Max had gone through because of Sarah’s sister. It was a hushed ordeal that her grandfather and Uncle Craig never wanted public, but it had also caused a snowball effect within their own family.
“I think Max has dealt with a lot of things we don’t know about,” Tyse answered. There was something in his eyes that caught Kellie’s attention, almost like he wanted her to know what he knew.
Or…maybe he knew what she knew.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
The dog hopped off of her lap and found her bed in the corner as Kellie waited for an answer.
“I mean that Max has suffered enough in life. We don’t need to make it worse by being heartless, judgmental, and unforgiving. What does that make us?”
Kellie felt her chest burn with warmth. God, she loved this guy. She had needed so much of his personality at the exact time he showed up in California; he’d become such a calming influence in her life when she’d needed it most.
“Max isn’t the kind of person he makes himself out to be,” Kellie said quietly. “He’s misunderstood, especially by people that don’t take the time to put aside their own opinions to see that.”
“I know,” Tyse nodded.
“And he just lets people walk all over him, even though you guys would say otherwise. Yeah, he’s argumentative and can be a total dick, but that’s nothing different than Jay or Teague on any given day. He’s just like that to cover up what has really gone on in his life.”
“I know,” Tyse nodded again.
“If people would just stop bullshitting each other, they’d see the truth instead.”
“Yep, I know that.”
“And sometimes things aren’t always what they seem. What gives anyone the right to treat people like shit? Sure, we fuck up and wrong one another. Hell, I’ve done it to all of them, they’ve done it to me, but why can’t those guys overlook that shit when it comes to one another? Max, Teague, and Jay… They used to be so close,” she sighed, shaking her head. Just the thought of it made her so sad. All those years of having each other’s back and then one chick had to fuck it all up.
“Kellie, listen to me,” Tyse spoke softly. He waited for her to look at him. “I know more about Max than you might think. I would never discuss this because I was asked not to, but I feel like we’re kind of talking about the same thing. Olivia?”
She could feel her heart drop a little, but there was a mixture of emotion she was trying to wade through.
“What do you know about Olivia?” she practically whispered. “I can’t-I can’t talk about that, Tyse, but what do you know? And…how?”
He ran his hand through his hair and then it paused on the back of his neck as he exhaled. It was a classic Tyse move that she was very familiar with. He was frustrated, or conflicted, or both.
“I promised I wouldn’t talk about it,” he replied, and it was not the response Kellie was hoping to hear.
“What the fuck do you mean?” she asked defensively. “Jesus, Tyse! I thought I was the only person that knew about that, and here you are, saying you know too? Yes, you can talk to me about it!”
“I can’t,” he shook his head. “It’s not my business, hon. I’m sorry. If Max wants to talk to me about it, then I will. But I don’t want to talk about it behind his back.”
“Oh, how stoic of you,” she retorted.
Although it didn’t surprise her coming from Tyse, she was still torn from wanting to know. This subject had been such a huge burden to her for the past few years! Now there was someone she could actually talk to about it and he refused?
“Like I said, I’m sorry,” he sighed heavily.
She could tell that he was, but it didn’t make her feel any better. And because of the heartache she’d been through with Max because of Olivia Douglas, it made her angry instead.
“What makes you think what you know is the actual truth?” she challenged him. “Did you hear it from Sarah? How in the hell does she actually know anything that happened? I thought she wasn’t even close to her sister? And if somehow Olivia shared something with you, what makes you think she’s telling the truth!? Come on, Tyse. Do you understand what I’m going through right now?”
“I can only imagine,” he answered calmly. “And I’m truly sorry, but like I said, I am sympathetic toward Max’s situation. Does that not tell you something? Wouldn’t I feel the opposite if she had lied to me about it and made herself sound like the victim?”
Kellie considered his point for a moment, realizing he was right. Which could only mean one thing…
“You talked to her yourself, didn’t you,” she stated softly. With a sigh, she shook her head. “God, why does this family have to be so fucked up.”
Tyse didn’t respond, so they sat there in silence for almost a minute.
“I doubt he’d ever talk to you about it,” she finally added.
“Yeah, I know,” he nodded. “But even though Jay and Teague have ill feelings toward the guy, I haven’t formed an opinion, okay? I still feel like an outsider when it comes to Max. Yeah, I’ve had my issues with him because of Sarah and the recording studio, but I think I see where he was coming from back then. In hindsight, it makes more sense.”
“He’s not as callous as everyone thinks he is. He’s not like his dad.”
“I actually believe that. And from what I gather, he’d rather keep us all distant.”
“That’s kind of true, but only so he’s not vulnerable. He’s tried to reconnect with Teague several times. Teague wants nothing to do with him.”
“Does he have good reason to be wary?” Tyse asked carefully. “I mean the guy wouldn’t let his kid spend Thanksgiving with Teague and Camryn just to get back at me; to send Teague a message because he stood up for me. Max really didn’t make a good impression with that one.”
“Oh, and you preach about not judging other people?” she questioned defensively. “Do you actually know why Chase didn’t make it that day? Do you really know, or just think you know? It had nothing to do with Max, actually. Kate was the one that took Chase with her that week but he didn’t bother to tell any of them that she’d been busting his balls over a bunch of shit. Why would he share any of his personal problems with them? And—maybe the most obvious thing that people might be overlooking—do you not realize how much Sarah looks like her sister?”
Tyse stared at her for a very long time before he sighed and hung his head.
“Maybe you really haven’t put yourself in his shoes,” Kellie continued, “because if you did, you’d see how truly fucking painful that is for him. Do you get that? She ripped his fucking heart out and then walked away! Who does that!?!? Who just walks away from a relationship and cuts off every single form of communication with that person? That is horrible. She wouldn’t even return his texts! She changed her goddamn number! Oh, she made him think she was so in love with him and wanted to marry him, and then she tells him she just got ‘caught up’ in it all and she’s really not in love with him after all? But the money my uncle paid her was sure helpful. Oh my God!”
“Kellie, calm down,” Tyse told her quietly. He put his hand on her knee and added, “I’m really sorry, okay? This whole family… Shit, it’s a clusterfuck.”
“Duh!” she growled at him. “And I’m sorry if I’m being a total fucking cunt right now, but do you realize how much all of this hurts me?”
She was crying by then but it only pissed her off more. She ha
ted crying, especially in front of other people. Lately it had been happening more often, and it seemed like it all started the day she broke down in Tyse’s car and told him how grateful she was that he’d found her. Having a brother like him to balance her life had been an unexpected blessing that she would always be thankful for.
Tyse wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “Kellie… It’s okay to get all of this off your chest. And I’m so very sorry this has burdened you for so long, but maybe it’s time we did something about it, huh?”
She sniffled and brushed the moisture from her face. “What do you mean?”
“I mean it’s fine to talk about stuff that bothers you, but what if there’s something you can do about it that actually fixes the problem?”
“Ha!” she scoffed, pulling away to look at him. “Are you kidding? Do you know how many times I’ve told those boys to quit being such assholes and move on?”
“‘Moving on’ is what they’ve been trying to do,” he told her. “Their way of getting past what’s happened is by not revisiting it over and over again. When you hash out a problem with someone, that’s usually what it consists of. I understand cutting the people loose that have only weighed you down, but if you truly believe there is something to salvage between those guys…then maybe you need to be a little more aggressive about it.”
She blew a strand of hair out of her face. “I’m the inferior McCallan, remember? You know, the one with boobs and estrogen. It doesn’t get you far in this family.”
“Then make it,” he answered firmly.
Chapter Twelve
“I’m super duper excited, you know that right?” Melanie squealed with a huge grin on her face.
It made Kellie smile, too. Melanie had that effect on people so easily. She was so happy all the time, spreading her little flecks of sunshine everywhere she went.
