Hollow of Treason

by Lainy Lane

  "An alternative?" Calandra screamed at Drake and flailed her arms in the air. "You had to go there, didn't you? Had to put the idea in his head?" Drake seemed surprised at her outburst, but he didn’t fight back. He watched her as she threw her temper tantrum. He stepped aside to allow her to continue.

  "And you!" Calandra turned to start in on Jarreth. "Just stand there like a freaking coward, why don’t you? How noble!"

  Jarreth opened his mouth to make a rebuttal, but Drake waved him down from it.

  The sun picked that particular moment to breakthrough the gray clouds, and it was the final straw to push Calandra over the edge. She didn’t want a break from the darkness at the moment, she wanted to bask in it. She wanted to allow it to overtake her for once. She didn't deserve any of this, and she knew that all too well. She wasn't worth saving, she wasn't worth the sacrifice so why had it now happened twice?

  She glanced around the field of darkness, as she had just decided to call it since she had sucked all the innocence from it. Her arms came up around her against her own will as her anger and hurt mixed into one emotion underneath her skin, and she felt it start to boil over. She caught fire once more, just like she had when Jarreth had first set her off after burning the field in the first place. Now she wanted nothing more than to set everything in the place on fire and watch it all burn to ashes. The field had promised her joy and laughter, she thought that was what she felt from it when she had first stepped into it. Something so beautiful certainly had to bring peace and love. Yet lately it seemed to have done nothing but shatter her dreams and leave her empty. What had once symbolized life and new beginnings was now nothing but lies, deceit, death. It was full of every sin and transgression that had led to it all.

  Her arms flamed higher, and she allowed the heat of the fire to fill her and fuel her rage. She walked over to the only living and beautiful thing left in the field. The tree that she had given life to again, the very tree that she used to think was some symbol of how to overcome trials. She stood several feet away from it and threw her hands toward it. One single fireball flew from her and into the large trunk of the tree. The entire casing caught fire and blazed down to a pile of ashes in an instant. Calandra's arms extinguished immediately, and she collapsed onto her knees at once, with her arms still searing bright fire engine red.

  She could still see Tristan's body from the corner of her eyes, and it reminded her of exactly how wrong everything had gone. Memories of the people she and Tristan used to be flashed through her mind, one by one, and tears streamed from her eyes as they each played out. At one point, he had been her paradise, her everything, her lifeline, but apparently, the sun had set, even in Paradise. She allowed the sun to set on her world for the time being and collapsed onto the ground with no one close enough to stop her this time.

  ***

  Pain didn’t even begin to describe what filled Calandra's heart in between the replaying of the event. She closed her eyes and saw the flash of light coming toward her. Tristan's voice screamed in her head, and then his body lay in front of her; unmoving, not breathing, lifeless, dead. An innocent sacrifice had been made, and once again she was able to live. But what was the point now?

  Drake's bedroom filled her eyes when she finally opened them. She only decided to do so to force the memory to fade away. As soon as it disappeared, she closed her eyes once more her eyes and filled her head with darkness.

  "Calandra?" Drake's voice was there. He was beside her and his touch let her know just how close he was sitting to her. "You awake?"

  She could feel his stress radiating through her. Her mind tried to voice a response. Her arm wanted to reach out and touch him, to let him know she was awake, but still not okay. Her heart refused to allow it to do so.

  Instead, the world slipped away once more.

  ***

  "So, the flame cleanses it?" Calandra still found herself confused by the entire process, even though Drake had already described it several times.

  "Yes, and it also intensifies the effects of the emotions." He smiled wickedly, obviously pleased with her curiosity.

  The silver contraption sat directly in front of her on the table. She had poured the crimson liquid into the shot glass and placed it in its triangular holder at the top. She held the long, silver lighter in her hand, the top was flicked back, and all that was left to do was to push the button to ignite the flame and light the burner under the shot.

  "It's not going to light itself." Drake laughed from beside her.

  "Yes, I'm aware of that thanks." She rolled her eyes. She had found herself to be far more irritable than she had ever been when her body hadn’t allowed her to continue sleeping through life any longer the way she wanted to.

  Jarreth sat in the corner of the room with the shadows falling over him and he was biting his tongue to keep quiet. Calandra didn’t expect that to last much longer. However, she dared him to contest her.

  "So, are you gonna do it?" Drake's smile was mischievous as he watched her shaking hands move slightly closer to the contraption. "You are the one who said you wanted to try it."

  "Once again, Drake, I am aware." Her annoyance built up, but she wasn't annoyed with him. In actuality, she was annoyed with herself and the fact that she was being an absolute coward. Just as she was finally about to light the burner once and for all a voice startled her, and she pulled away again.

  "Ok that's it," Jarreth spoke.

  Here it goes, Calandra thought as she rolled her eyes to herself, wondering what kind of scene he was about to make.

  "I won't sit around and watch this. If you go down this road then you make Tristan die in vain Calandra, you realize that right?" He rose from the chair he had cowered in.

  Without even thinking twice of it, she tossed the lighter right at his head. He ducked just before it hit him and it slammed into the wall. It fell to the floor in several pieces. Jarreth stood, his back against the wall, stunned from her reaction.

  "Get out... NOW!" she screamed at him and pointed to the door. She felt her temper at a level she wasn’t sure it had ever reached before. She stormed out of the room. She slammed the door to Drake's bedroom behind her and threw herself into the bed again. She screamed into the pillow as she pulled the covers over herself and faded into the darkness once more.

  "Good going, Jarreth," Drake scoffed as he picks up the pieces to his lighter. "Just as I'm on the way to fixing her, you have to go and break her again by bringing him up."

  "You're not fixing her, and you know it, Drake." Jarreth's eyes cut into him as he walked passed him and opened the door to leave.

  "Personally, I like her better this way!" He smiled. "Oh, and Jarreth, this was my favorite lighter, I'll expect you to replace it." Drake winked as he tossed the broken lighter on the table and turned to go to his room.

  Jarreth slammed the door behind him.

  EPILOGUE

  My Own Stars

  When the leaves begin changing colors, it means a new beginning is coming. They fall and start anew — all over again. And while they are multicolored, everyone knows what will be coming. Eventually, we all see what grew. As of now, I am done with the pain, and so I will begin the fall of me.

  My past has been full of lies – plundered by people who have only used me. For too long I’ve carried the pain in my eyes, I refuse to do so any longer, for now, I can see who has been true. I stand beside those that I love — for they are the ones that have watched me rise above everything that my past has done to me.

  Once upon a time, I would have sat around and allowed everything to maul me over. But things must change, and I refuse to let that happen ever again. You can think what you want, Jarreth, but my attitude will remain nonchalant as I embark on a new start. Although, you’re still invited to watch me make this change. I’ve finally learned from my mistakes. I’m walking away for my own sake. I feel a fresh new air around me, and I can now see who I’m supposed to be. It is something I must embrace, as it will be my new place.<
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  So, I will take my soul in my own hands, take full control, and watch my colors change. For so long now, it has seemed like the stars were against me. Now, I can look up at them and smile. For today, I take things into my own hands, I am taking my stand. I will live out my own destiny, the one I’m taking control of. You may think I will fail, but I say I will write my own stars. With my chin held high, you will see, what I will make myself become...

  As I write my own stars.

  Calandra placed the note she had written, between her nightmares, on the nightstand before she walked out of Drake’s cabin and into the night. The nightmare still played on repeat through her mind, and she searched helplessly for the stop button, but quickly discovered there wasn't one. Yesterday was gone and over and today was a new day, it had to be. A day where she would settle into the darkness that was becoming her once and for all. Happily ever after’s didn’t exist, if they did, Tristan would still be there fighting dearly for her, even though she didn't deserve it.

  I still love you and will forever. If there's anything I can do to truly save you, do let me know because, despite everything I've said, I'd still give up my life to fix you. The words from Tristan's note were seared into her mind, and she sighed as they whispered to her again. He had found a way to give up his life, but Jarreth was right, it had been done in vain. It hadn’t fixed a single thing, if anything, it had only made it worse...

  Every bridge had been burned. Every line had been crossed. The ashes had cooled and scattered. A resemblance of all the mistakes Calandra had made over the last several months. She might not be perfect, but no one was. A Phoenix rising was what she had allowed herself to become. Recreation wouldn’t be easy, but she had come to the end of all she knew. Now, she had only two options. Either new earth would rise up and give her a new path or she would need to grow wings and find a new path of her own. Calandra had chosen the latter.

  Finding a new path was the only option she saw fit now. The world made less sense with Tristan gone. But she refused to give in and giving up wasn't an option either. Light and darkness were counterparts. One couldn’t live without the other. But there was always going to be more of one than the other. Calandra had lived far too long in the light while the darkness did everything it could to try and overtake her. She had fought it for entirely too long. It was time to stop fighting and simply give in. Time to see what would happen if she allowed the darkness to overtake the light. This was her new path. This was where her new wings would take her.

  The world was a crazy labyrinth of pathways that interlocked, yet didn’t connect at all. There were a million different outcomes depending on which walkway you took. One wrong turn could lead you all the way to the other side of the world, and you wouldn’t even know the difference. This was what her life had become, but she was finally able to accept it. No more complaining, no more whining. It was time to be a big girl and simply deal with things.