Tapping out (A Fighting Love novel Book 1)

by Nikki Ash

  His name is Steve and he’s a no-bullshit kind of guy. He helped me find a location to attend my meetings and it’s only about ten minutes from the house. I received my thirty, sixty, and ninety-day key tags a few days ago. Since I was in rehab during these milestones, Steve wanted me to have them, to remind myself I still chose to stay clean. When I got home, Bella saw them and asked me about them. I tried to play it off like it wasn’t a big deal but she insisted we go out for dinner to celebrate. She also asked if she could attend the next time I receive a key tag. She has no idea how much her support means to me.

  My sister, Chloe, has spent the night a few times on the weekends. To say she is happy to have me back is an understatement, although she might be happier to have her niece close to her. I think I have officially been thrown to the side and replaced by my daughter, but I’m ok with that. I love watching Chloe spend time with her niece.

  Since Bella and I have moved in together I haven’t brought us up once. Not when she walked out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel still dripping wet because she forgot to bring her clothes into the bathroom with her. Not when she insisted we binge watch The O.C. (Because according to her, you can’t live that close to Orange County and not experience Ben McKenzie as Ryan Atwood), and not even as I watched her ice cream drip down the center of her luscious tits. I watched her swipe it up and lick it off her finger while wishing it was my tongue licking it up, but I didn’t say a damn word. And as hard as it was, I didn’t bring us up when we stopped at the ice cream truck while walking around the park where Bella purchased a chocolate covered frozen banana and I was forced to watch her plump lips wrap around the fucking banana like it was a cock. I know she saw me adjusting my junk but what the fuck else was I supposed to do. The woman is sexy as fuck and has no goddamned clue!

  Now it’s her birthday and she’s on her way back from seeing the OBGYN. She had to find a new one for her postpartum visit since we moved. When she called me to let me know her appointment went good, she was rambling off everything she can now do such as driving and having sex. Yep! She mentioned that, and then right afterward got awkward and hurried off the phone.

  Today, Bella turns the big two-one and I want her to have the perfect night. I have moved the kitchen table to the living room and purchased five pounds of snow crabs, Bella’s favorite. I have two potatoes baking and I bought homemade clam chowder from the local seafood market. I even rented her favorite movie, There’s Something about Mary.

  While the fact that she’s now cleared to have sex again will be stuck in my mind, my goal is not to get laid tonight. It’s to remind Bella of the friendship we used to have before I fucked it all up. I’m not stupid enough to think the way back to Bella’s heart is through her pussy.

  Ding! My cellphone goes off. Ding! Ding! I grab it from the end table before it wakes Micaela up. Sure, the little angel can usually sleep through anything, but I am hoping since Bella pumped so I could feed her, and I kept her awake for a while, she will sleep for a little bit so we can spend some time together.

  Daniel: Doc said he cleared you last week.

  Daniel: We need to talk.

  Daniel: I have a proposition for you.

  My heart literally skips a beat when I read the text messages from Daniel West, the President of the UFC. I had a checkup last week, one I didn’t tell anyone about, but should have known the doctor would forward my results to Daniel. It makes sense seeing as he’s the doctor the UFC uses, but since I wasn’t injured during a fight, I didn’t think he would forward my results to them.

  Me: Ok

  My phone lights up and I quickly swipe my finger across the screen to answer.

  “Hey Daniel, how’s it going?” I leave Micaela sleeping in her bassinet and walk into the other room.

  “Marco! Damn, you answered the phone fast,” Daniel laughs.

  “Yeah well I got a sleeping baby.”

  “Yeah, man. I heard you’ve been busy since getting injured. A baby with Bella Cooper, dabbling with a bit of powder, rehab, a move back to Vegas. The gossip rags have been having a field day. It’s cost me a damn fortune to remove half that shit off the internet. So, how are you feeling?”

  When I don’t say anything right away, he repeats his question. “How are you feeling, Marco?” I know where he is going with this. He wants me to fight. The man is all about business. There’s a reason the UFC is worth billions. The man knows how to run a business. And normally I would look forward to these calls but right now I’m dreading it.

  I clear my throat. “I’m ok.”

  “Good, that’s what I like to hear. So, how soon can we schedule a fight for you?”

  “I’m out of shape. I haven’t worked out in over a year. I just don’t know how long it’s going to take me to get back into shape. Plus, Bella’s dad, Cooper, isn’t too thrilled about me being back here and living with his daughter. I’m not sure he’s even going to let me train at the facility.”

  “Look Marco, I’m going to be upfront with you. The people want to see two fights. You and Bella. Your name was already all over the internet from the accident and you showing up to various parties. I was able to keep most of it under wraps, especially since you were out for an injury. But now, it’s gotten out that two fighters—one of which holds a championship belt and is contracted for one more fight—the other had to cancel a huge debut fight because she got pregnant—are living together with a baby. People are gossiping. Women are wondering if you are off the market and they want to see you.”

  “Great. Just what I need,” I mutter. “So, people know I was in rehab?” I probably should have paid attention to what was going on around me.

  “No, and there’s no reason for them to know. I kept that shit under wraps. It would be bad for business but it’s my job to know what’s going on with my fighters. They think you’ve been missing because you are upset over Logan being in a coma, and it will stay that way. One of the paparazzi was around the hospital the day Bella got out and he recognized you. Not sure why it took him so long to sell the photos, but the magazines are going crazy.”

  Fucking Fabulous. “Who would I be fighting?”

  “Antoine Benitez. This past year he’s been fighting his way up and winning all his fights. He’s gained popularity and we want you to fight him for the belt. A comeback fight of sorts.”

  “When?”

  “Well, we are looking at Bella and you fighting the same night. I need to speak to her and find out how long she thinks she will need to train. I’d like for it to be soon while the hype is there.”

  “All right, just do me a favor and don’t mention anything about me to her. I would like to speak to her about it myself.”

  “Whatever you say.”

  I hang up just as I hear the garage door opening and pray she didn’t hit anything. Our vehicles arrived a couple days ago, and when mentioned to Bella I was going to sell both of my sports cars and get an SUV—also known as a dad mobile—she laughed and said I should keep one because she thinks it’s hot. How could I say no to that?

  She also insisted we both park in the two-car garage. She’s excited to be able to park inside with the baby to avoid the rain. The problem is, Bella is probably the worst driver ever given a license and she can’t park straight for shit. Last night when she pulled in, I thought she was going to take out the side of my car. Thank God for insurance!

  I quickly remove the baked potatoes and snow crabs from the oven and place them on the table. Then I pour the soup into the bowls from the stove. I fill our glasses with sweet tea and place the mini bottle of Jack Daniels I bought her as a gift on the table. I know she won’t drink while breastfeeding but I had to get her a bottle of alcohol to celebrate her twenty-first birthday.

  Grabbing the flowers and balloons I bought, I go to the kitchen to greet her at the door. She’s only been gone for a few hours and I already wished her a Happy Birthday this morning but I want her to feel special.

  “Happy Birthday!” I whisper-yell
as she walks through the door. Her face lights up and she gives me a huge smile. Then her dad walks in after her, followed by her mom.

  Twenty-Four

  Bella

  “You did all this for me?” I glance around the room seeing the table set up in front of the television with my favorite foods, complete with two candles lit up in the center. It’s been six weeks since Marco confessed to me he wanted to have his daughter and me in his life. I assumed at the time he meant he wanted us to be more but after all these weeks and not even a mention of us, I was starting to think maybe I misunderstood.

  I know I told him we needed to take things slow, that we need to focus on our daughter, but it was easier to say that when I was in the hospital. Living in the same house as Marco is downright torture. The guy hasn’t worked out in almost a year and still looks hot as hell. Then add the fact that he cooks for us, helps take care of Micaela, and does laundry. A woman only has so much self-control.

  He hasn’t left once to hang out with friends, despite me telling him he can go. He attends his meetings a few times a week but always comes right back. And when he’s home, his attention is focused entirely on me and our daughter. I couldn’t ask for anything more, right? Then why do I feel like there is still this void? When we are watching television and he’s sitting close to me, I feel the butterflies deep inside me. When he smiles at me for no reason, my heart skips a beat. I know I shouldn’t rush things. I know I’m the one who said we need to take things slow but dammit if I don’t daydream about this man pushing me down onto the couch and making my body feel good.

  The truth is, I can count the amount of times I’ve had sex on one hand and they have all been with him. The only pleasure I’ve ever known has been at the hand of Marco or my own. But Marco, on the other hand, has been with a whole slew of women. Lots of hot, sexy women. There’s a reason why he ran from me all those times. Sure, he said he felt it was wrong, but if I was enough, if I was undeniable, unforgettable, wouldn’t he have had no choice but to stay? He was with that blonde bimbo, Janell, more than he was with me. What if I’m just not enough for a man like Marco?

  A loud grunt knocks me out of my insecure inner monologue and I remember my parents are here. They pulled up at the same time I did to visit me for my birthday and to see Micaela.

  “I didn’t realize we were having company,” Marco says. “I’m sure there’s enough for all of us.”

  “Oh no! I have an idea,” my mom jumps in and says, “Why don’t we take Micaela for the night? Do you have some bottles you’ve pumped?”

  “I do but are you sure? What if she wakes up and is scared I’m not there?” I begin to panic. My baby girl is only six weeks old.

  “Bella, honey, I have raised a few kids. I will give her a bottle when she wakes up and you will be over first thing in the morning to pick her up. We can even do breakfast.”

  “Is that ok with you?” I nervously ask Marco, silently hoping he will be the bad guy and say no.

  “I’m sure she will be ok with your mom, Belles.” Damn traitor!

  “Or we can stay and eat here,” my dad says dryly, earning him a smack in the chest from my mom. Marco secures Micaela into her car seat while I pack up her stuff, packing enough for a week when she will only be with them for roughly twelve hours, most of which she will be sleeping.

  After giving our little girl kisses and reminding my parents of things like making sure her diaper is dry and which cry means what—like they didn’t parent three children—they leave out the door, taking my heart with them.

  “I don’t know if I can do this.”

  “What?” Marco laughs out loud, earning him a glare. “I’m sorry.” He wraps me up in a comforting hug, and gives me a chaste kiss on my forehead. “She will be fine and if you really can’t handle it, we will go get her. But for right now, let’s enjoy your birthday. You hungry?”

  “I’m starved.” After Marco reheats the clam chowder and potatoes, we sit down and eat, watching There’s Something about Mary in a comfortable silence. After we both finish, he pauses the movie so we can clean up. Then he brings me out a couple of cupcakes, mine with a lit candle in the center.

  “Happy Birthday, Belles. Make a wish.” The first wish that comes to mind is—well, I can’t say it out loud or it won’t come true. But let’s just say it involves the man standing in front of me smiling.

  After we eat the sugary goodness, we move to the couch to continue the movie.

  “Oh my god!” my hand comes to my mouth.

  “What?”

  “I haven’t seen this movie in years. I had no idea that stuff she sticks in her hair is… is…” Oh my god! How did I not know?

  Marco laughs hysterically. “You didn’t know she uses his cum to do her hair?”

  “I can’t believe my mom let me watch this movie!! This is so inappropriate! Micaela is never watching this movie.”

  Marco continues to laugh. “You were so innocent. Shit, you still are.” For some reason, his comment rubs me the wrong way, reminding me that I’m nothing like the women he’s used to.

  He must notice the sudden change in the mood because he says, “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being innocent. It’s a good thing.”

  I know he isn’t saying this to hurt me but I bite out, “Just not what you were looking for, right?”

  He looks at me incredulously, the movie suddenly forgotten. “Where is this coming from?”

  “Well, it took like three different attempts before you actually had sex with me then you regretted it afterward, and the only reason why you even had sex with me again was because you were high. I mean, you didn’t even remember it. Meanwhile, you were with that blonde model looking chick for like ever. I was never enough to keep you like she was.”

  Marco gives me a look indicating his confusion but I don’t care. It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I’ve been carrying those words and feelings around for too damn long. Marco stares at me for a minute, making me uneasy. Did I piss him off? Did I remind him of Janell? Shit! Does he still want Janell?

  I open my mouth to say something—what I have no clue—when Marco stands from the couch and then leans down scooping me up into his arms, my legs instinctively wrapping around his back. Without saying a word, he looks at me while walking us to his bedroom. Then he sets me down on the bed, sitting in front of me, leaning in so close, his mouth is only inches from mine. I can smell the peppermint he must have popped into his mouth after having dessert. The mint reminds me of the days before everything went to shit. My eyes lock on the wall next to him, afraid of what he’s about to say.

  “Look at me, Belles.” He grabs my chin gently and tugs it so I’m looking at him. “The day I met you I fell in love with you. I might have only been twelve at the time and it was a different kind of love, but I felt it. You were my best fucking friend. For that first year before Caleb and Hayley saved me, you were the bright part of my day.”

  “But that’s….”

  “No, you need to listen. At home, it was drugs and drinking and fuck, so much bad. Yes, I had Chloe but she was a baby and she cried and had needs that a twelve-year-old shouldn’t have had to take care of. But for those few hours when I was with you at the gym, sparring and laughing, they were everything to me.

  “And then one day you grew up. You were still you, but you were more, so much more. And I knew I was well and truly fucked. And then we kissed and I knew it, I knew I could never go back to the way things were before that kiss. I had to leave before I fucked it all up.”

  Marco leans in closer and gives me a soft kiss, his teeth grazing my bottom lip as he pulls away.

  “The night we made love in the cabin, I knew I crossed a line. Your dad has always been so good to me, treated me like his own, and I never should have had sex with his daughter. It was wrong of me and it was a slap in your dad’s face.”

  “We didn’t do anything wrong.” Even I can hear the frown in my voice.

  “Hey, just because
I said it wasn’t right, doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it or want it. Wanting you has never been the problem.”

  “But being with Janell was right?” I blurt out.

  “I thought doing the right thing meant staying away from you. And as far as Janell goes, she was my drug connection. I was in a bad place and she had no problem joining me there. I can’t take back what I did or how I acted. I hate myself for having sex with you and not being able to remember it but I’ve always wanted you. You are all I want.”

  Marco grabs a hold of my hips and pulls me onto his lap, moving us up against his headboard. Straddling him with one leg on either side of him, I feel his dick twitch from under his shorts and my face heats up.

  “See what I mean by innocent? You feel my cock poking you and your face turns the most beautiful shade of pink.”

  “Yeah, like a little fucking girl.”

  “That’s not what I meant. Have you seen your body?” Marco pulls my shirt over my head then expertly unsnaps my ugly nursing bra, taking it off. “You see these full, perky tits?” He gently holds them in his hands, his tongue darting out to lightly lick my pink nipple. I whimper at his touch. “These are all fucking woman, Belles.” He moves to my other one and licks the nipple.

  Keeping my breasts in his hands, he places open mouthed kisses all over them leading up to my collarbone and neck, eliciting chills all over me. Then cupping my ass with one hand, he pulls me even closer to him, changing our positions so I am laying on my back with Marco hovering above me.

  “This neck, all woman.” He sucks on the sensitive skin just below my ear for a second, causing me to let out an embarrassingly loud moan, before he works his way over to my face.

  “These lips.” He sucks on my lower lip first, then my upper lip and then deepening the kiss, Marco’s tongue seeks out mine without needing an invitation, our tongues colliding with such force, it just about takes my breath away. Before I can bring my hands up to touch him, he pulls away. “Fuck, baby. These lips are all woman.”