In the Darkness

by Charles Edward

He steeled himself and glanced sideways out of the corner of one eye.

  He saw a face. Like a person’s face, not the ravening beast he had feared. He turned his head and tried to get a better view despite the shadows racing over them in the night. The eyes were there—and yes, they were awful—and very dark skin and darker hair. He was big, this creature, with wide, solid features. But he wasn’t a creature. He was a young man about Evin’s age.

  Relief flowed through Evin’s body, relaxing him enough to make him feel almost buoyant. Burning curiosity soon followed.

  “Stop. Put me down and let me see you.” The stranger did stop and gently set Evin on his feet.

  Evin found he had to look up into the face revealed by the moonlight. The stranger’s skin was perfect and smooth, as if carved from some kind of deep green stone. A mop of wavy dark hair framed his face, and his eyes burned down upon Evin with a shy, shamed expression. He had wide cheekbones and a dimpled chin. A thin strip of the same dark hair traced along the underside of his jaw.

  He was terrifying and he was strange. But he was beautiful.

  Evin touched his cheek. It was soft and very cold. He closed his eyes, seemed to relax a little at Evin’s touch, and exhaled a long breath.

  “What’s your name?” Evin asked softly.

  “G-Gareth.”

  “Gareth. I’m Evin. Thank you for trying to help me.”

  Evin saw pitiful gratitude in Gareth’s strange eyes, but all Gareth said was, “I was stupid. I’m sorry.”

  “No. It was a mistake, just a mistake. And—listen to me, okay?”

  The yellow eyes fixed on Evin’s face.

  “You’re not a monster, Gareth. Not a monster at all. I think—”

  “No,” Gareth said, as if Evin’s gentle words were too much to accept. The baying of hounds sounded in the distance.

  Without another word, Gareth scooped Evin into his arms and raced toward the river.

  Chapter Six

  The upset in the village over Tyber’s wild story lasted for several days, but because the dogs could find nothing and Evin steadfastly denied ever having been kidnapped, it all finally settled down and life returned to normal.

  Except that Evin wanted to see Gareth again. Evin wanted to learn more about what Gareth was and where he came from. Where he lived, and how long he had been there.

  In truth, Evin could make some guesses. He didn’t want to upset Gareth by asking about them too soon, but…

  There was only one forbidden place near the village. The mountain where the trapper, Rhyd, lived. Everyone knew Rhyd was adamant about keeping people off his land. Villagers said there were different kinds of traps all over the mountain, and that some of the large game traps could be dangerous. So everyone stayed away. Mostly.

  The way Gareth spoke about his parents, he must be very different from them, which could mean that the parents were normal-looking, like Rhyd and his wife. What was her name? Evin didn’t know if he had ever heard it.

  Gareth was fascinating because he was so different. It was exciting to have such a fantastic secret. Evin understood that Gareth had to remain hidden away, because his parents were right: People wouldn’t understand. They would kill him.

  But Evin could keep secrets better than anyone.

  There was something more too. He watches us. Wants to know things. Gareth needed to know someone different, not like the parents who said those mean things to him. Mama and Papa love me. And Madame Tabeau. Gareth doesn’t have anybody.

  Evin began to go out regularly at night with the pretense of walking around the village. Each time, he carried his lantern and tried to make sure that anyone else wandering about would see him just strolling. Out for some exercise, nothing strange about that.

  But whenever it worked out that he could move unobserved a little farther into the woods, he would take a detour to get as close as possible to Rhyd’s land without straying far from the village. And when he wandered out that way, he would say Gareth’s name in a low voice, as if he were only mentioning it to a tree or passing light bug.

  Tonight, as he came to the low stone wall surrounding the inner part of the village, the moment seemed right to move farther into the woods. He put his lantern atop the wall, scrambled over it, then hooded the lantern and struck out closer to Rhyd’s land, stepping carefully until his eyes adjusted to the darkness.

  When he said Gareth’s name, a soft voice answered, “I’m here.”

  Evin stopped walking and looked around. “Where?”

  Glowing eyes appeared, peeking around a tree in the darkness ahead. Even though seeing Gareth was what he had hoped for, Evin’s blood ran cold, and it took a moment to regain his composure. He glanced around again to make sure they were alone, then approached and said, “Hi.”

  “Hi. How did you find me?”

  “In truth, you found me. You already said you watch us whenever you can.”

  “Oh. Yes.”

  Their conversation seemed to have run its course. Evin tried to find something else to talk about.

  Gareth said, “You didn’t tell them nothing about me.”

  Evin smiled. “I told ’em I was chased by a wolf. Tyber had everyone worked up with his story of the demon that took me, but then I showed up all safe and the dogs didn’t get you. Now nobody believes him.” The smile faded. “Tyber won’t forget this. He’ll hurt me when he can, and he’ll try to get the townsmen to find you and kill you. You have to watch out for him.”

  “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t let him hurt you no more.”

  Evin touched his arm. “I know. You were being stupid. But it was for a good reason, and I’m glad. Otherwise we were never going to meet, eh? You were just going to keep watching us all from far away.”

  “Yes,” Gareth said. “Nobody’s supposed to know about me. They’d hurt me because I’m ugly. Even you’re scared.”

  It was an accusation.

  Evin tried to come up with some half-truth that might make Gareth feel better, but he couldn’t think of one. “Where can we go talk?”

  “Over here.” Gareth led him to a thicket where they could sit unobserved even if other townsfolk happened to wander about for some reason. The center of the thicket had a bald patch of ground and opened to the sky, so Evin could see a little better. He sat with his legs in front of him and leaned back on his hands. Gareth sat beside him, cross-legged.

  Evin said, “You’re right. Your eyes are scary in the dark, and it’s weird that you’re all green. Your parents were right to hide you to keep you safe. But that stuff doesn’t make you ugly, and it doesn’t mean you can’t have friends.”

  Gareth looked down at his hands twisting in his lap.

  “Okay,” Evin said, “maybe you can’t have a great lot of friends and keep hidden. But I can be your friend.”

  “I can’t tell my parents I have friends, and you can’t tell nobody nothing about me!”

  “So we won’t tell anybody. I promise. But even though you’re a little scary, I want to be your friend.”

  “Why?”

  Evin scooted over to face Gareth and crossed his legs so that his knees were touching Gareth’s shins. Despite the clothing they wore, Evin noticed again how much cooler Gareth’s body was. Evin reached into Gareth’s lap, took a hand, and held it between both of his own. “I don’t know how to…well… You came from nowhere to help me when Tyber was hurting me. I needed help and you were there.” He held Gareth’s unresisting hand to his chest. “But you need help too, don’t you? You’re not a monster. You’re good, aren’t you? But you don’t have anybody, any friends. You’re hiding and you’re alone.”

  Gareth seemed to struggle to control his breathing.

  “When we were in the cave, I could hear how sad you were. You don’t have to tell me stuff you’re not supposed to talk about, but you can talk to me if you want, tell me how you feel.”

  “No, I—” Gareth’s voice cracked.

  “You told me some mean things your parents said. Yo
u need someone else to tell you—”

  “Please, don’t!” Gareth snatched his hand away as if Evin had stung him. He leaped to his feet and darted out of the thicket.

  Evin called in a loud whisper. “Gareth, wait!” The footfalls stopped. “I’m sorry. I wanted to help.”

  Gareth stalked back into view. “You’re just like him. You just want to make me feel bad.”

  “No, I said it wrong. I want to help.”

  “I said no!”

  “Okay then, but please don’t run away. We won’t say anything at all if you don’t want to. Just tell me what you want.”

  Gareth stood before Evin for a while, breathing heavily, saying nothing, and flexing his hands.

  “I won’t pry anymore. You decide what we talk about.” Evin took a step back and gestured at the ground, hoping Gareth would sit again.

  Gareth didn’t sit, but he didn’t leave, either. The set of his shoulders slowly relaxed, and the restless movement of his hands stopped before he spoke again.

  “In the woods…why did you do this?” Gareth put a hand to his own cheek. He touched it lightly with his fingertips, imitating the way Evin had done.

  His parents never comfort him. Evin searched for the way to explain to someone who had never been taught anything. “When people are sad…people who like them touch them. Like that sometimes. To help them feel better.”

  Gareth still wouldn’t look him in the eye, but he did nod. “People. Who like.”

  “I like you. You’re kind. And you’re not ugly, not to me. I think…I think you’re beautiful.”

  “No.”

  In a soft voice, Evin said, “Nobody touches you because they like you, do they? Nobody tries to make you feel good. But I will. If that’s what you want.”

  Gareth stared at his feet and said nothing. Maybe he was afraid to ask for what he wanted, afraid the offer was a trick. Evin eased in close, took Gareth’s hand, and with his free hand reached to stroke Gareth’s cheek again. “Is it okay?”

  Gareth closed his hand lightly over Evin’s.

  Evin pressed their bodies together and put his head on Gareth’s chest. After a moment’s hesitation, Gareth laid his free hand across Evin’s neck, barely touching, as if afraid Evin might break. They stood together for a while.

  When they parted, Gareth finally met Evin’s eyes with nervous glances. “Can I come back?”

  “I’ll come out to look for you every night I can. But be careful.”

  Gareth nodded. “A ghost.”

  He turned to leave, then turned back and lifted his hand to Evin’s face. His fingertips were large, his touch gentle. Not warm, but soothing and sweet in a way no friend had been for a long time. He stroked Evin’s cheek once and sprinted away into the forest.

  * * *

  Tonight Evin came even closer to Rhyd’s land as he wandered and whispered his calls to Gareth. He picked his way through the forest, but it was becoming too dense. He would have to turn back soon or unhood the lantern. Bats emitted their faint squeaks in the darkness above, and he tried to imagine what it was like for Gareth, to be able to see everything here. The path, the trees, and the bats dodging through them.

  He heard no noise of approach before a shy voice said, “Evin.”

  Ice ran down his spine. He sucked in a quick breath, which he let out in an exasperated laugh. “Well! Thank you for trying not to startle me.”

  Gareth said, “I’m sorry.”

  Was that a little bit of a smile Evin heard in the words? He hoped so. He turned to find eyes shining in the darkness, and this time he wasn’t scared at all. Evin smiled for Gareth and went to him, reaching out to touch cool flesh but finding instead the rough linen chemise. Beneath it, Gareth’s heart pounded.

  “Please don’t be afraid of me,” Evin said, knowing how ridiculous he sounded echoing Gareth’s plea from in the cave. “It’s too dark for me here. Can you lead us somewhere else?”

  “Okay.”

  His hand was taken into another, surrounded by it. Cold. Soft. Thick. Strong.

  He was pulled along like a child behind his father, little hand clasped in big. But it seemed to Evin that the big hand was the innocent, unsullied one.

  Gareth paused at the edge of the woods. Evin saw him in silhouette, how he carefully scanned the night landscape before leading Evin out into the open and then to a brushy depression between two hills. It was the sort of place that might hold a small pond during a rainy season, but now, in the heat of summer, it was dry.

  He could see better here, but Gareth still held on to him. Evin said nothing because he wanted that contact to last. They walked down into the depression. Gareth let go of his hand, and they sat side by side to look up at the shapes of the bats wheeling above.

  Evin decided to wait Gareth out this time. If I push him, he’ll panic.

  When the silence grew long, Gareth said, “I like bats. I wish I was a bat.”

  “Why?”

  “Because…they’re free, I guess. Nobody wants to trap them or eat them or nothing. They can fly away.”

  Evin thought about that, about being free to simply fly away into the sky where nobody could touch him and nothing mattered anymore. Nothing people on the ground worried about, anyway. “Yeah, but they eat bugs. And they have to come back, don’t they? They have families and places to live.”

  “Caves.”

  Hoping he wasn’t going too far, Evin said, “Where they hide from the day.”

  Gareth’s gaze dropped to the ground. “Last time, why were you trying to make me sad?”

  “You know I wasn’t.”

  “I’m not a baby. I’m not supposed to cry. So I don’t talk about sad stuff.”

  You want to. You need to, but I bet nobody listens. Do they punish you if you’re sad? Evin took time to choose his next words with care. He pitched a stone and pretended to watch where it fell. “Tyber tells younger kids things like that. ‘Don’t be such a baby!’ he says—after he’s picked on them. He makes ’em cry, then mocks ’em for it.”

  Gareth was silent for a long while. Were his parents like that? Evin was almost sure. Gareth didn’t reject the veiled accusation outright, but would he understand?

  Evin knew how it felt to have something inside, something painful and terrible and sad, but nobody to talk to. Like a storm always brewing. There was a storm inside Gareth. Evin heard it in everything he had said in the cave, and saw it in the way he fled when his feelings got too big.

  “He’s mean to them,” Gareth said, “because they cry…because he was mean to them.”

  “Some people do that. Tyber’s father does too. People like that, things bother them, and they feel better if they can make kids feel bad. But everyone gets sad sometimes. When you were young, did someone try to make you ashamed of being sad?”

  They sat for a while in silence. Evin could sense the tension, but he let Gareth think. Evin hoped the storm would gather enough strength to break. Don’t be afraid. Talk to me.

  His voice a child’s whisper, Gareth said, “I don’t know what I did.”

  Say it! Evin took his hand.

  “What did I do?” He glanced at Evin, his eyes wet. Their glow made unshed tears look like liquid fire. “Why was I born wrong? Why? They hate me for it…but what did I do?”

  “Nothing. It’s not your fault.”

  “No…I…” Tears spilled out. “Something… Evin, do—do you think I’m cursed for something I haven’t done yet?”

  Evin’s vision blurred. He knelt beside Gareth and clasped Gareth’s head to his chest. “No, no, you never did anything wrong.” How long have his parents let him believe this? “You helped me and didn’t hurt Tyber. You didn’t want anybody hurt.”

  He bowed over Gareth’s head, stroked Gareth’s hair and back. How could they do this to him, who should’ve loved him? “You’re not bad. It’s not your fault.” They keep him in darkness and tell him he’s a monster. Evin’s tears fell as he bowed over Gareth. For years, all his life. Surely
they know he’s not… “You’re not a monster. Not ugly. Not cursed!” They were supposed to love him! “You’re good, I know it.”

  Gareth clung to him with a crushing strength, sobbing into his chest, trembling against him until the storm passed.

  When they were done, Gareth pulled away and looked up at him. Moonlight glinted off the wet face. He is so beautiful. Evin used his fingers to smooth tears away from the dark cheeks.

  Gareth reached up, gently touched Evin’s face, and said, “I made you cry.”

  “No, you made me happy,” Evin said, and a drop fell from his chin to make him a liar. “I’m helping you feel better. This is good.”

  Gareth watched him.

  Evin leaned in slowly, lowering his lips to Gareth’s cheek. Gareth stiffened but then relaxed when Evin merely kissed him there. Evin tasted the salt of sweat and tears, smelled the strange wood scent of Gareth’s skin. He trailed kisses along the jawline. Gareth sighed, and the muscles in his shoulders slowly released their tension.

  Evin pulled away to look at him. “Is this okay, kissing you like this? Can I do more?”

  Gareth nodded.

  Evin put a hand on his neck, leaned in, and began to kiss him on the lips. At first Gareth just allowed it without responding, but then he tried to imitate what Evin was doing. Evin licked across Gareth’s lips, pressed in, touched his teeth. Gareth opened, and their tongues met. The kiss grew hungry, and the remaining tension in Gareth’s body slowly drained away.

  He had to stop for breath. Gareth sniffled and said, “You taste good. Kissing.” The corners of his mouth quirked up just a bit.

  “You too. I like to see you smile.” But that must have made Gareth self-conscious; his smile vanished, and he didn’t meet Evin’s eyes. So Evin kissed him some more until he forgot himself again.

  Evin’s breeches were uncomfortable now, constraining his hardness. He moved to straddle Gareth’s thighs and settled his weight firmly into Gareth’s lap. This brought them level, face-to-face. Big hands stroked across his back. Evin kissed him once more, then leaned back into those hands, letting them hold him up.

  “See, I can make you feel better,” he said.