Fearless (Less Is More Book 2)

by J. M. Lamp

  “When is it?” I say.

  “January first,” Elliot says, smiling. “We wanted to start every new year with a reminder about what we have to look forward to that year.”

  “Jesus,” I say.

  Everyone looks at me and Elliot laughs and says, “What?”

  “You two are just too much,” I say. “So lovey-dovey to the point where no one measures up.”

  I sit down on Cody’s lap and he says, “Don’t mind him. He needs burped.”

  “I mean,” I say, sporting a huge grin from ear to ear, “that’s awesome!”

  “That’s better,” Cody says, grabbing my chin and planting a kiss on my lips.

  “It’s going to be a little cold, though, isn’t is?” I say.

  “Yeah,” Will says, “but that’s OK.”

  “Where’s it going to be at?” I ask him.

  “The bench where we first met,” Will says, winking at me.

  “Isn’t that cute?” Elliot says.

  “To the happy couple,” Sam says, raising his plastic cup. “May your wedding be beautiful and every day after be just as beautiful, if not more beautiful, than the day before.”

  ***

  “How was the party?” Hadley asks me at breakfast the next morning.

  “Nice,” I say. “A lot of gays in one place.”

  “Glad I had to work.”

  “Their house is gorgeous, by the way.”

  “I know,” she says. “I was with them when they went and looked at it.”

  “What the fuck?” I say. “I told him I wanted to go with them.”

  “You were at work, baby brother.”

  “Whatever.”

  “I did see a picture of Cody from last night,” she says, smiling. “I wasn’t aware of what you got to go to bed with every night.”

  “That reminds me,” I say, “I need to apologize to El about his bathroom upstairs. I spilled my beer and forgot to clean it up.”

  “Were you that drunk?”

  “It was when we first got there,” I say. “Me and Cody went up and I just forgot.”

  “Why did you both…never mind. So, how’s living with him going?”

  “Fine,” I say. “I almost want to get a house and play family now that Elliot and William are.”

  “There’s been more robberies on your old block,” she says. “They all have had stuff stolen, though.”

  “I really don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Something is off, Ethan,” she says. “I tried to trace that number of that text and it was a burner phone. I looked into where Rick is now and it says he left the city earlier this year. He’s the only person I can think of that would be fucking with you.”

  I feel relived when she says that he’s left town and I smile.

  “Why are you smiling?”

  “Because you said he’s left town.”

  “That doesn’t mean he hasn’t came back,” she says.

  “I’m not going to worry about it,” I say, pushing my plate to the side. “I’m happy right now. I haven’t gotten any more messages and the break-in was just unlucky on my part. If I sit around and worry about him, he wins.”

  “What if he does come back, though?”

  “Then I’ll be ready,” I say. “I’m not as weak as I used to be. Besides, I have Cody now.”

  “I hope you’re right,” she says.

  I hope so, too.

  Chapter Twelve

  Cody

  A FTER WORKING A DOUBLE AT THE hospital, all I want to do, as I clock out and make my way towards the exit, is go home and lie down next to Ethan on the couch.

  I make my way towards my truck and arch my head back, looking up at the sky. It’s cold tonight, but I don’t mind. The breeze feels good and the fresh air is welcoming.

  I hear footsteps behind me as I make my way to the truck, but think nothing of it. The hospital’s parking lot is huge and there’s bound to be at least one person making their way in or out at this time at time.

  When I get to my truck, I pull out my keys and try to focus on unlocking it. I’m beyond tired and I notice the footsteps getting closer and closer as I look at the reflection on the driver’s side window and see a man coming up behind me. As I go to turn around, I slam against the truck window, breaking the glass in the process.

  My vision is blurry as I try to focus on the man in front of me.

  I fall to the ground and hear, “You feel safe now?”

  ***

  “Cody,” I hear, as I open my eyes. “Cody. Okay, he’s awake.”

  Carrie stands in front of me with her hands clasped together. I can tell she’s been crying as she sits down in the chair next to my bed.

  “What—“

  “They found you in the parking lot,” she says. “Your head was bleeding and you were out cold.”

  “I don’t remember,” I say. I go to sit up and instantly lie back down as my vision blurs and a pain shoots up to the left of my forehead.

  “Your window was shattered,” she says. “Did you slam your head into it or what?”

  “No, Carrie,” I say.

  “I didn’t figure,” she says. “A crowbar was found in the seat, Cody. Did you see anyone before you fell?”

  “I don’t remember anything,” I say. “I do know that I don’t own a crowbar.”

  “They’re checking the security tapes. I don’t know if they’ll be able to catch the person, but we’ll at least know what happened.”

  “Can you call—“

  “I already called him,” she says, grabbing my hand. “He’s on his way.”

  “Okay.”

  “You’re OK,” she says. “You got hit in the head, but I think that’s all that happened. They didn’t find any other injuries.”

  “Why would someone jump me?” I ask her.

  “I don’t know,” she says. “They should let us know here soon what happened. I’ll be right back.”

  She makes her way out of the room and I look up at the ceiling. I remember leaving the hospital, but once I get to my truck, it’s a blur.

  “Hey,” Ethan says, as he enters the room. He sits in the seat next to the bed and grabs my hand.

  “Hey,” I say.

  “Do they know who did this yet?”

  “I think Carrie went to find out.”

  “Good,” he says. “Are you—“

  “I’m fine,” I say, smiling. He squeezes my hand tighter and looks down at the floor. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” he says. “I just don’t get it. Why would someone attack you? So much for feeling safe here, right?”

  You feel safe now…

  My eyes grow wide as I hear it in my head on repeat.

  “What?”

  “The guy who attacked me,” I say, “he asked me if I felt safe here now. I think it was that guy from the other day.”

  “The guy who interviewed you?”

  I nod my head up and down as Carrie walks in and says, “They have the attack on the tape, but from the angle where it happened, you can’t see his face. He didn’t drive away either so we can’t get any info about that. I’m sorry, Cod.”

  “It’s OK,” I say.

  “He thinks it’s the guy from the other day who interviewed him.”

  “I asked around about him the next day,” she says. “No one knows what you’re talking about.”

  Ethan looks from Carrie to me and walks out of the room. I look at Carrie, who looks confused, and shrug my shoulders.

  “Don’t fall back asleep,” she says. “I’ll be right back.”

  ***

  “It’s healing pretty quick,” Ethan says, taking off the bandaging on my forehead. I’ve spent the last few days at home and I’m just now starting to feel normal when I go to stand up. “You’ll be beautiful again soon.”

  “Well,” I say, “that’s good.”

  “Are you still feeling nauseous when you stand up?”

  “No,” I say. “Today has been better.�
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  “Good,” he says. “Carrie told me today that they found the guy you were talking about in the security tapes from the other day. He kept his head down the whole time, though, so they can’t figure anything else out. No one gave him a second look because he was in the waiting room. He knew when you got off and he waited.”

  “I just don’t know who it could be,” I say. “I haven’t done anything to anyone that I know of.”

  “Maybe he’s just a gay-hater,” he says. “I don’t know. We’ll find him.”

  “I doubt it,” I say. “I don’t want to think about it right now. I’ve never been attacked before.”

  “Lucky you,” he says. “It’s not fun.”

  “I mean in a mugging situation.”

  “I know,” he says. “I was attacked last year, actually.”

  “What?”

  “It was before I met you,” he says. “I was out one night and had been drinking and some guys from the bar I was at didn’t like the fact that I was gay. How they even knew I was I don’t know because I don’t remember seeing them there. They got me in the alley by the bar. It wasn’t this bad, I just had a messed up face, but it brought up some stuff.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t let it get to you too bad.”

  “You need anything?” he asks me.

  “For you to relax,” I say.

  “Okay,” he says. “I have to go into work, but I’ll be back in a few hours. I’m doing a half-day today.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “It’s fine,” he says. He kisses me on the forehead and makes his way towards the door. “Take a shower, maybe?” He smiles and I make my way towards the bathroom as I hear the door click behind me.

  I bend over the bathtub and turn the shower on. A pain shoots through me as I push the shower curtain to the side, but it’s not as bad as it was and I can manage.

  I look in the mirror at myself for the first time in days. I don’t recognize myself with the bruises over my eye and the discoloration on the side of my face. I quickly look away and close my eyes, trying not to think about what happened.

  I know why Ethan left the room now; my attack must have reminded him of his. Along with everything else that has happened to him, I don’t know how he has made it through it all. He’s stronger than I’ll ever be able to realize, but no time to pity Ethan when I’m the one currently in pain.

  I step in the shower and flinch as the water touches my head. The pain dulls after a while and I lay my arm against the shower wall while the water steams off my body. I look down at the drain and see all the dirt wash away from my body. I realize that I haven’t showered in days because of this and I close my eyes.

  I get out of the shower and walk straight to my bed. I dry off quickly and pull the covers over me as I let out a heavy breath and look up at the ceiling.

  My phone starts to ring and I roll my eyes as I lean over and check who it is.

  It’s Nathan.

  “Hello,” I say.

  “Hey, little brother.”

  “What’s up?”

  “I’m coming to town next weekend and I’m hoping we can have dinner.”

  “Nathan,” I say, sighing, “now’s not a great time.”

  “It’s never a great time, Cody.”

  “It’s really not a good time right now.”

  “Okay,” he says. “I’ll call you when I get in and see if you change your mind.”

  He hangs up the phone and I let it fall out of my hand as I roll to my side.

  ***

  “Wake up, beautiful,” I hear as I open my eyes and see Ethan standing by the bed. “I got you some food.”

  I sit myself up and stretch my arms out on top of my head.

  I yawn and say, “How was work?”

  “I ended up staying,” he says.

  I look over to the clock by the bed and see it’s five in the afternoon.

  “That you did,” I say.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry,” I say.

  “I see you finally bathed,” he says, smiling. He picks my phone up off the floor and sits it on the nightstand.

  “Nathan called,” I say.

  He hands me a burger and says, “He did?”

  “He’s coming in next weekend and wants to have dinner.”

  “That will be nice,” he says.

  “I told him it wasn’t a good time”

  “Cody,” he says, “you can at least have dinner with him. He’s moving here and I’m sure he’d like to talk to you.”

  “Maybe he should’ve made better choices back in the day then,” I say. “I haven’t eaten in days either, have I?”

  “Nope,” he says. “You probably lost some of that muscle tone.”

  “I didn’t even think about that,” I say, frowning.

  “I still love you,” he says. He plants a kiss on my lips and leaves the room.

  I get up and follow him. I lean against the wall as I get to the kitchen and he peaks over the fridge at me. He looks to my face and his eyes quickly dart down.

  “I mean,” he says, “I was gonna give you a break because you’re sick and all, but if you really want it…”

  I look down and realize I’m not wearing any clothes and laugh.

  “Sorry,” I say. “I didn’t even realize.”

  “It’s OK,” he says. He walks over to me and grabs my ass cheeks from behind. “I don’t mind.”

  “Yes,” I say, pulling away from him and making my way back to my room, “but Carrie might if she was to walk in.”

  “Fine,” he says, crossing his arms.

  “It’s fine if we’re in our room, though,” I say, smiling.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Ethan

  “I JUST WANT TO MEET him, Cody,” I say.

  Cody zips his jacket up and checks the pockets for his gloves and says, “Why is this so important to you?”

  “Because it is,” I say.

  “He said he’d call me again once he was in,” he says. “If he calls then we’ll go.”

  “Good,” I say.

  “Can we go for a walk now?”

  We make our way downstairs and he puts his arm around my shoulder as we make our way down the block. The air chills against my cheeks and I deepen in my coat to stay warm.

  “I don’t want to make you resent me from pressuring you to talk to him again,” I say. “I just think that since he’s going to be living up here, you could at least have dinner with him and catch up.”

  “I’m never going to be able to forgive him for what happened,” he says. “It’s just not going to happen.”

  “All wounds heal,” I say. “Trust me.”

  “Like I said, if he calls then we’ll have dinner with him.”

  We walk across the street to the bridge that goes over into the city. At this time of the night, the sun has just set and the city lights have started to light up the sky. We get a perfect view as we make our way to the middle of the bridge and see three more bridges as the water continues in front of us.

  I yawn and lean my head against his shoulder.

  Cody getting attacked brought back a lot of bad memories. Getting jumped myself last year, for one, and Rick’s abuse. I know in my gut that this wasn’t random. If it wasn’t for this mystery guy at the hospital then it might have been, but this is personal and I know it has something to do with me, which makes it even worse.

  “What are you thinking about?” Cody says.

  “How happy you make me,” I say.

  That’s all I feel with Cody: happiness. With him, I don’t have to worry about where my next bruise will be on my body or if I looked at someone too long at a restaurant. I don’t have to wonder which personality I’m getting and I don’t have to feel obligated to be with Cody because I don’t want to be alone. I know now that I deserve better and that I deserve a love better than I thought I deserved before.

  “When my brother didn’t come home,” Cody says, drawi
ng me out of my thoughts, “it felt personal. All he said was that he couldn’t make it back. That’s all he said. No reason as to why and no phone call once she did pass to tell me he was sorry that we had lost our mom. He never asked me how I was doing after the fact, either, or cared that I was eighteen years old and on my own.”

  “Did you ever ask him why?”

  “No,” he says. He puts his hand in my hair and sets his chin on top of it. “I didn’t care.”

  “Do you care now?”

  “Maybe,” he says. “I don’t know. It’s complicated. In the back of my mind, I’m just waiting for him to disappoint me again and leave. He moves up here and I talk to him again and then he leaves.”

  Cody’s phone starts ringing and I feel the vibration against my side. He lets go of me and pulls it out and says, “It’s him.”

  “It’s your choice,” I say, leaning my hands on the railing of the bridge.

  I look out into the water and arch my head back, looking up at the sky.

  “Hello,” he says.

  ***

  We walk into the restaurant and Cody spots Nathan at a booth towards the back. He leads us to the table and, on the inside, I’m hoping that everything goes as planned. Well, that everything goes the way I have planned it, meaning, Cody gets along with his brother and nothing bad happens.

  We get to the table and Nathan gets out of his seat. He goes to give Cody a hug and Cody sticks out his hand instead for a handshake. If it bothered him, Nathan doesn’t show it and he smiles instead and says, “Good to see you, Cod.”

  Cody doesn’t say anything and sits down in the booth across from him.

  “Ethan,” I say, sticking out my hand.

  He shakes it and says, “It’s nice to meet you. Cody has said nothing but good things. The little he’s told me about you at least.”

  “Same,” I say, clearly lying and Cody lets out a small laugh.

  I get into the booth next to him and pick up my menu.

  “I hope you guys are hungry,” Nathan says.

  “I forced him not to eat much today so he would be hungry for tonight,” I say.

  Nathan laughs and says, “Well, good.” He looks up at Cody, who says nothing, and looks back down.