Worth Saving

by W. S. Greer

  “Austin, listen to me,” Jason says, still breathing heavily. “There’s something I want to talk to you about while I have a minute.”

  When I look at him, he looks serious as hell, even though he’s still panting.

  “What’s up?” I reply.

  “How long have you known this girl?” he asks.

  “Uhh, I don’t know. A few weeks—a month, maybe. Why?”

  For some reason, I’m thinking he’s about to say something I don’t want to hear, and I already feel myself getting defensive.

  “It’s nothing bad,” he assures me, trying to catch his breath. “Look, I just wanted to be honest with you real quick. That woman over there, is the real deal, man. You know I’ve met a lot of women in my life, and I’ve done a lot of freaky shit, and I still haven’t found a girl that looks at me the way Layla looks at you. I mean, I know I just met her a few days ago, but she’s pretty cool, man. I also know this isn’t exactly your kind of thing, but it’s just something to think about.”

  “Yeah, I agree,” Jordan chimes in. “She just played basketball with you and two of your friends for nearly two hours. Bro, I’ve been married for almost a year now, and my wife would laugh me out of the room if I asked her to play basketball with me and Jason for two hours. No chance. But this girl is down for you, bro. When a woman has no problem kissing and hugging you when you’re covered in sweat and funky as hell, you know she’s for real. She didn’t even tell you to take a shower first, man. She just kisses you all over. That shit is gross and adorable at the same time.”

  There’s an unshakable smile resting comfortably on my face by the time their done. They’re telling me stuff I already know, but damn it feels good to hear them say it out loud.

  “I know,” I answer, unable to drop my smile. “I don’t even know what to say about her. She’s awesome. The amount of fun we have together still freaks me out sometimes. It’s a trip, but I like her. I like her a lot.”

  “You better,” Jordan says.

  “Yeah. She’s a good one,” I say as I look over at Layla again. At first, I just watch her and marvel at her beauty as she stands in the descending sun light. She’s like an angel—an angel that’s holding a basketball and dripping with sweat. Then, however, I realize she’s standing there with the ball in her hands, but she’s not dribbling or shooting anymore. She’s just staring into the parking lot where her car is.

  I look over and see a black Lexus pull up next to her car, and four men get out. All of them are huge. I watch the group of them as they descend the stairs and make their way towards the court. They have a basketball of their own, so I know they intend to play, but I can’t shake the feeling that one of them looks really familiar, and I can tell by the way Layla is staring at them that she recognizes them, too.

  Suddenly, Layla walks over to the three of us with a serious sense of urgency, and she grabs the towel she brought with her.

  “We need to go,” she demands. “Can we please go?”

  I look over at Jordan and Jason, and they look just as confused as I do.

  “Yeah, we can go,” I reply. “These guys have had enough anyway. But, is everything okay?”

  Layla suddenly looks panicked as she hears the sound of the other men step onto the court behind her and start bouncing their ball.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. I just really want to go, okay? Let’s go.” She grabs me by the hand and starts to lead me away. Jordan and Jason grab their stuff and try to hurriedly follow us as we head for the stairs. I look over my shoulder at the court, and I can see two of the four men have stopped dribbling and are watching us walk away. One of them seriously looks familiar. I know I’ve seen him before.

  “Is that Layla?” I hear one of them say, and I slow my pace. Layla tries to pull me forward, but I’m too strong for her. “Hey, that is, Layla.”

  “Not gonna say hi, Layla?” I hear one of them scream. All of us turn around and face the group. The one I recognize was the one who called out for her, so it’s him I’m staring at. He looks at every one of us, then I see him glance down at me and Layla holding hands, and a smile climbs up to his face. “Ah, I see. So this is what you needed time off for. This is what you needed to figure out? You trapped one, huh Layla?”

  I look over at her, and Layla’s skin is beet red. I feel her clinching my hand with all her might, but I have no clue what the hell’s going on.

  “Are you falling for her, man?” the big bald guy with the thick black beard says with a chuckle that rubs me the wrong way. “I don’t know how you could do it, bro. You’re a better man than me. I couldn’t take that.”

  “Hey, just leave it alone,” the other bald guy says. This guy looks a little older and has a goatee. “Let’s just play,” he says.

  The bearded guy smiles at Layla, then smiles at me and winks, and that’s my last straw.

  “Who the fuck is this guy?” I bark, but not to Layla. I don’t even know who I’m talking to, I just said it loud enough for everyone to hear.

  The bearded guy turns around and glares at me.

  “Who the fuck am I?” he snaps. “Who the fuck are you? Just some nobody who doesn’t realize he’s getting played. Get the fuck outta here before you piss me off.”

  I take a step forward, but Layla squeezes my hand with both of hers to hold me back.

  “Austin, no! Please, let’s just go,” she pleads.

  “Why? Who the fuck is this guy? You know this dude?”

  “I’ll tell you if you just leave with me right now. Please!”

  Then, my brain finally puts it all together, and I remember where I’ve seen this asshole. I saw him the night I met Layla at Stacy’s Bar. He’s the guy who whispered in her ear that night when she had to leave. She told me he was her boss.

  “Wait, I remember him,” I say as Layla starts to pull me away again. “That’s the guy from Stacy’s Bar. Didn’t you tell me he’s your boss?”

  All the blood in Layla’s face drains out, and she’s suddenly as pale as a ghost.

  “Umm. Yes, he’s my boss, Austin. Okay, and he’s a ridiculous asshole, and I really don’t want to get in trouble with him when I get back to work. I mean, I don’t want to be fired. He’ll fire me. So, please let’s just go. Please, Austin.”

  The look on her face takes me aback. She looks terrified, and she has tears in her eyes. Jason taps me on the shoulder and nods for me to just let it go, because he can see the panic on Layla’s face too. So, I swallow my pride and start walking towards the parking lot. Layla still has ahold of my hand and her pace is frantic, even taking the stairs two at a time.

  When we reach the cars, she gives me a quick kiss, and then says goodbye. Just as she’s climbing into her car, I hear the bearded guy speak up again.

  “Bye, Layla. See you back at work in a few weeks.”

  Layla doesn’t respond. Instead, she looks up at me.

  “I’m so sorry, Austin. I’ve gotta go. I’ll call you later, okay?”

  She doesn’t even give me time to answer. She jumps in the car, slams the door, and speeds away. The three of us stand there with puzzled looks on our faces, wondering what the hell just happened.

  Layla

  Forty miles per hour has never felt faster. Cars look like nothing but streaks of colors on both sides of me and the road seems like it’s narrowing by the second.

  Fucking Damien. Why did Damien and David have to show up? What kind of horribly shitty luck must I have for David and Damien to show up to the same park as us, on the same day, at the same time? After such a great day, it had a terrible ending.

  I can only imagine what must be going through Austin’s mind right now. I didn’t mean to leave him standing there with that puzzled look on his face, but I just had to get out of there before Damien said something I couldn’t explain. It was too much, and it was so unexpected that I panicked. I just hope that they’re not talking to each other now that I’m gone.

  When I pull up to my apartment building, my heart is still
racing. As I park, I make up my mind that I’m going to call Austin as soon as I get inside and settle myself down, but as I step out of my car, I’m shocked to see his Camaro come pulling into the parking space next to me. My heart rate goes into rapid fire as he steps out of the car and walks over to me with a strong look of determination on his face. There’s nowhere for me to go now.

  “What the hell was that, Layla?” he says, his brow furrowed. When I don’t answer, he asks again, but this time with more frustration and using his hands as emphasis.

  “I’m sorry, Austin,” I reply, mainly because I don’t know what else to say. I can tell my answer doesn’t make him happy.

  “Sorry for what?” he inquires with a shrug. “I don’t know where that came from.”

  I feel heat building up from the ground all the way up my body and ending in my face. I barely have control over my emotions at this point, I’m unsure of how to react to anything. I don’t know what to say, because I don’t know what I should say. I’m all over the place.

  “God dammit, Austin,” I snap. “Why did you have to follow me? I don’t want to do this right now, okay?”

  “No, it’s not okay. It doesn’t matter that I followed you. What matters is that there’s obviously something going on between you and that guy at the court. You need to tell me what’s up, Layla. It’s really that simple.”

  Austin puts his head down for a second, apparently deep in thought. When he lifts his head, his eyes have a different look to them. He looks fed up.

  “Look, we’ve spent a lot of time together, and I love that. I feel like you’ve told me so much about yourself, even the hard stuff about your childhood and your father, and the abuse. You’ve told me so much, and I understand if you don’t want to tell absolutely everything about yourself. But you have to understand that when you react the way you did today, it’s gonna bother me. It’s gonna worry me because I care about you, Layla.”

  I feel the life drain out of my body and spill onto the street. I never wanted it to come to this. I guess I figured I’d tell Austin everything somewhere down the line, and it’d be okay.

  Or, maybe I never thought it through. Maybe I never expected to tell him what I do for a living because I plan to change it. I don’t know what the hell I thought. The only thing I know is that I’m not ready to lose him yet. I can’t really put a definitive finger on how I feel about him, but I feel something for Austin that I’ve never allowed myself to feel for anybody else, and I don’t think I want to risk losing it. He deserves the truth. I’m just not sure I can give it to him yet.

  “I lied to you before,” I say, looking down at the ground, out of either nervousness or shame. “Damien is more than just my boss. He’s my . . . ex-boyfriend.”

  I can’t do it. I’m not ready yet. Things have been going so well for Austin and me, and I’m just not ready to tell him this yet.

  I see Austin’s brow furrowing again and he tilts his head, almost like he’s trying to look into my soul to see if I’m lying.

  “When you saw us in the bar, that was the night everything changed,” I continue lying, my eyes back to being glued to the ground. “I ended up breaking it off with Damien because he used to hit me. It’s, kind of, another reason I have such a hard time with men. I’ve never really dealt with one that hasn’t been a complete asshole. My issues with Damien are complicated. It goes a lot deeper than just working for him.”

  “So, he’s more than just your boss? He’s your ex-boyfriend who used to hit you?” he says it out loud, but it sounds more like it was supposed to be a thought. “That guy used to fucking hit you?”

  “Yeah, but it doesn’t matter anymore. Damien and I are over.”

  “Yeah, but you still work for him. He’s still your boss, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “What the fuck? Why are you still working there?” he asks, obviously upset. “You shouldn’t be working for an asshole like that.”

  “I know, but I don’t have anything else lined up right now, and I need the money.”

  “Look, I know you dropped out of high school, but maybe it’s time you look into doing something else. You can’t work for that guy.”

  “I know that, and I appreciate your concern, but it’s just more complicated than that. I don’t have a good education or anything . . . it’s just really complicated. I know it’s hard for you to understand, because it’s hard for me to explain, too. I just trying to do the best I can with my life. It might not be perfect, but I’m trying.”

  He doesn’t even look like he believes me. Austin just scrunches his forehead and stares at me. I wish I was inside his head right now. It’d be better than being inside mine and feeling all of this shame.

  “Look,” he begins, as he steps forward and takes one of my hands in his. “I understand, okay? I know your life is different than mine. Yours is and always has been much harder than mine, and I know that what you really need is my support. So, I’ve got your back with this. If you want to keep working for Damien at Majestic, I’ll support you, but if he ever puts his hands on you ever again, I need you to tell me. Okay? If he ever touches you again, we’re gonna have a big fucking problem.”

  I can’t help but smile when he says it. He’s so serious and different from his usual kidding. He has a serious side and I’m grateful he wants to protect me. He’s so sweet, and I know I don’t deserve it, because I’m still lying to him.

  “So, you promise?” he asks, breaking up my train of thought.

  “Promise what?”

  “Do you promise to tell me if that bitch puts his hands on you again?”

  I smile a soft, shame-filled smile.

  “I promise, and I’m sorry I lied about him.”

  “It’s cool. I understand. You’ve been through a lot of shit with men. Hell, I’m surprised you’re still talking to me after all the shit you’ve been through.”

  “Well, you’ve been the exception, Austin.”

  “Look, I know I’ve said similar stuff before, but I really do hope I’m proving to be different. I don’t know how you’ve had such bad luck with men, but I promise you I will never put my hands on you like that. Ever. I would never hurt you like that.”

  “I know you wouldn’t.”

  “I care about you, Layla, and as long as you’re okay with me being around, I’ll always have your back. Okay? I’ll always be honest with you, and I won’t feed you any bullshit. I just want to be someone you can depend on.”

  His words feel like an anchor attached to my legs, pulling me down below the angry waters. I can barely breathe and I’m struggling just to stay afloat, but I’m kicking. I’m doing my best to tread water until the day I can tell him absolutely everything, but I am going to tell him. I’m going to figure everything out, and I’m going to tell him, and there won’t be anything left unknown between us.

  One day, I’m going to tell him.

  One day.

  But, not today.

  Austin

  “Welcome back, Captain Sloan. You look well. Hell, you look like a new man. So, what’s been going on? How did things go this past week?”

  “It was good. Things have been pretty good.”

  “How’s Layla?”

  My smile widens.

  “She’s good. Like I told you during our session last week, things have been great with us lately, and we seem to be heading in the right direction. We’re having fun. She’s a great girl.”

  “Great. Great,” he answers, jotting down something on his yellow pad. Even when I have good news, he always writes notes on the pad that I’m not allowed to see. Sometimes I wonder if he’s even writing anything about me. Maybe he’s just drawing pictures, or playing tic tac toe.

  “Are your friends still in town?” he finally says after the jotting.

  “Yeah, Jason and Jordan are still here, although I’m not sure for how much longer. Jason says he found some sort of loophole that’ll get the charges against his client dropped, so he might be heading back to Sea
ttle soon. His popularity has grown a lot since he won his last big case in Seattle, and he has a lot of people itching for him to represent them back home. I’d hate to see him go, though. It’s been great having him around to hang out with whenever he has time. He and Layla are still picking on each other, too. They’ve hit it off since they met.”

  “That’s all really good, Captain. It’s good to see things coming along for you in the social department. Are you and Layla turning into something serious?”

  I have to take a second to think about that one. While it’s true Layla and I have been doing really well, even after finding out about her ex-boyfriend, I’m hesitant to say we’re serious. I don’t want to jinx it. When I’m with her, it feels serious to me. The way I feel about her is serious, but we’re still getting to know each other.

  “Umm, I don’t know, sir,” I answer honestly. “I mean, on one hand, Layla has this ability to put a smile on my face that feels different than when I smile for any other reason. She’s incredible, and we’re really good friends, and I care about her for sure. But, I’m not sure if I wanna say we’re serious just yet. I mean, we haven’t even had sex yet.”

  “Really?” Major Nelson exclaims, raising his eyebrows like he has truly been surprised.

  “Yeah, really. Not that I don’t want to or anything, but Layla has some hang-ups about it. She’s had a rough life, and her reasons certainly are justified. So, I understand, and I’m patient.”

  “Not that it’s any of my business, but what do you think is holding her back about it?”

  I hate when people say “not that it’s any of my business,” and then proceed to ask an invasive question that’s absolutely none of their business.

  “It’s complicated, Major,” I say with a slightly furrowed brow. This is Layla’s business, and it’s not my place to tell it to someone she doesn’t even know. “She’s not ready yet, and I’m cool with that. I know her childhood was rough, particularly her relationship with her father and her ex. But, it doesn’t matter. When we spend time together, it feels good inside, so I’m cool with waiting for the other part to take off.”