by Debra Kayn
“I’m the last person you want around your daughter.” Now that she’d said it aloud, she couldn’t stop the anger that followed his rejection. “You don’t think I notice how you’re willing to listen to me when we’re alone, like now or on the circuit? Yet anytime I’m around Sarah, like this evening, you close yourself off as if I’m a bad influence and you have to be on guard. You didn’t even trust me to watch her alone last night. Of course, if my sisters are around, everything is fine, Sarah’s safe from the bull rider.”
“You have—”
“Forget it.” She shook her head. “I understand. I do. I’m just a bull rider to you.”
He stepped up in front of her. “No. You don’t get it.”
“Then what?” Her voice rose higher. “Am I so flippin’ one-dimensional a dog could do a better job at babysitting than me?”
“Stop.” Cole seemed about to grasp her shoulders but slipped his hands into his pockets. “I was wrong.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean?” he said.
“Why were you wrong?” She shrugged. “I want to know why my career is reason to treat me like I’m pond scum anytime bull riding comes up.”
Cole didn’t budge, and she thought for several long seconds he wasn’t going to answer. She glanced away. How could she explore this attraction between them if he wasn’t going to be honest?
“My wife died. It bothers me that in a split second, she was gone from my life and Sarah doesn’t have a mother to love her.” Cole paused. “I will do anything to make sure I never lose Sarah. I know I’m overprotective, but she’s my child.”
“You’re not going to lose her.” She softened her voice. “You’re a great dad, and she knows that. I promised you I wouldn’t talk about bull riding around Sarah, and I’ll keep my word. There’s no reason to worry if Sarah spends time with me. If I’m guilty for enjoying your daughter’s company, then I’m sorry.”
“No.” He cupped her face with his hands, his thumbs stroking her cheeks. “The only thing you’re guilty of is making me want you.”
“And that’s wrong?” she whispered.
“Yeah.” He leaned closer and placed his forehead on hers.
He pulled her against him, and his embrace soothed her bruised ego. How was he able to calm her when everything else seemed only to aggravate her?
“You don’t understand. I’m the only one Sarah has. Everything I do affects her. She comes first in my life.”
“You’re an adult, Cole. You deserve to be happy, too. Besides, what’s Sarah learning when you don’t let yourself enjoy life?” She wrapped her arms around his waist.
“I know.” He pulled her down to sit in his lap on the swing. “I can’t seem to ignore you. You make it impossible.”
“So, what are you gonna do about it, cowboy?” She ran her hand down his jawline, turning him to face her.
“The only thing I can do. Go back to the ranch and concentrate on expanding Turner Grain. I’d like to open two granaries in the Midwest soon. I’d also like to breed my prize thoroughbred with a new mare I purchased earlier this year.” He gave her a lopsided grin. “Sarah needs to work on her spelling more before school starts.”
She ran her thumb down his chin. “Now tell me what you really want?”
He glanced away, but she guided him back. She covered his lips with her finger. Before he left, she wanted the truth.
“Don’t tell me what the owner of Turner Grain wants, or the cowboy from the Double R, or Sarah’s father.” She lowered her voice. “Right here. Just for tonight. Tell me what Cole wants.”
He stared at her lips and seemed to struggle with his answer. She waited, not saying a word. When several seconds had ticked by, she wondered if she’d pushed him too far. Then he exhaled a deep sigh.
“It’s only me here, and I won’t tell a soul.” She leaned against him.
Cole ran the back of his hand down her face. “You.”
He loomed over her, so close, but she wanted so much more. She caught herself staring at his hands. Working man’s hands, rough, strong, and yet she’d seen how gentle he was with Sarah, with herself. His control impressed and frustrated her. If only he would let loose, and show her what drove him to keep coming back to her.
Her attraction simmered below the surface, burning her. She shouldn’t get involved with him. Cole could only bring heartache—they were too different, and their paths should never have crossed. Yet she couldn’t make herself move.
Her pulse ran hot. She wiggled and straightened in his lap. If ever she wanted to throw caution to the wind, it was right now.
Instead, she knew what she ought to do. “You should probably check on Sarah. I’ve kept you too long.”
“Stay put.” He put his arms around her and pulled her back against his chest. “She’s probably asleep again.”
“She might wake up and need you.” She pushed against him, but he tightened his arms.
He kissed the side of her head. “She’s safe. Chantilly said she’d set her up on the couch and watch her until you came inside.”
“Really?” She laid her head on his chest and smiled. A spark of hope ignited. “You’ll let her stay with me?”
“Mm hm.”
She ran her fingers over his knuckles. They were so different, and she found herself enjoying the way he held her. His arms were bigger than hers, his body harder, and he was relentless to the point of being uncontrollable. She liked that about him.
It was the same reason she enjoyed beating a bull. No matter how hard the bull fought to get her off his back, when she stayed put for eight seconds and landed on her feet, she had everything she wanted in her grasp. With Cole, it felt so similar. His admission that he wanted her fed her confidence.
He stroked her hair. “You drive me crazy.”
She squirmed in his embrace until he repositioned her. Reaching up, she caressed his cheek and traced his beautiful cheekbones down to his full lips.
“Can I tell you something?” she whispered.
“Anything.”
She kissed his lips gently. “I want you, too.”
She’d walked around dazed and off-kilter for the past few days, and she couldn’t blame it on her concussion. She wanted to lie naked with this man and learn what it would feel like to have his weight atop her and his body inside, outside, and around her. She wanted to know every secret about him. What made him sigh, laugh, moan. She wanted to absorb his energy and confidence and know that whatever happened when they left Montana, she’d be okay.
He seemed to know what she was asking because this time he didn’t back away. “Are you sure this is what you want? I can’t promise you anything past tonight.”
She leaned in close and let her lips trace the rough edge of his jaw. “What’s happened to make you afraid of loving someone? Why are you so reluctant to let anyone close to you?”
“Hell.” He grunted. “Somewhere I never want to go back to. If I were a better man, I’d go right now and leave you alone.”
“Stay.” She stroked his whiskered cheeks. “No promises, just one night together…”
He focused on her mouth. She licked her bottom lip and caught it between her teeth. The heated passion in his gaze didn’t steal her breath away.
She managed to force out one breathless question. “Kiss me?”
He nodded. “Damned if I can walk away. You’ve left me sleepless more nights than not lately. I’ve tried to tell myself over and over that you were part of my job and to keep my distance, but nothing–”
“Cole.” She laughed softly. “Shut up and kiss me.”
He moved in slowly. He caressed her lips with his mouth, taking his time, while his fingers curved around her waist. She swayed. Her equilibrium unbalanced, her body heated, and not just to his touch, but in anticipation of more.
She slipped her fingers into his hair and gave herself over to the delicious sensations battering her body. Being with Cole felt as new and astonishing as those first te
nder moments of exploring the opposite sex. She trembled under his touch, nervous, giddy, and excited. Her first time with Cole might as well be her first time ever.
“Tell me yes.”
“Yes.” She shivered.
He growled and dropped a kiss on her nose, and then on her lips, her neck. “The cabin is too far away. I can’t wait that long to have my hands on you.”
“Mm…” She gripped his shoulders. “The house is full of my family.”
They spoke simultaneously. “The barn.”
She didn’t care where they ended up. The only thing that mattered was being with Cole. When he took her hand and guided her off the porch, across the yard and through the barn doors, her every muscle felt rejuvenated, alive, and wanting. Suddenly, being with Cole left no doubts, no worries, only a carefree sensation she wanted to explore.
She led him the rest of the way inside the barn, up the ladder and into the loft where bale upon bale of hay took up the entire space. He shucked off his shirt and spread it atop the straw. She smiled at his gallantry, and the hungry grin he returned caught the air in her lungs on fire.
“You deserve a bed, but hell if I can wait any longer to be inside of you.” He kissed her, long and deep.
Cole created a small space between them and worked his way down the buttons of her blouse. She opened her mouth to encourage him. Afraid if he stopped, he’d change his mind and she’d never have this moment with him.
She wiggled her shoulders back and forth, helping him remove her shirt without letting go of his kiss. An eternity later, he’d freed the material. A thrill swirled through her when the cool night air brushed her uncovered skin.
He pulled back to gaze down at her. “Shit…that’s about the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”
She lowered her gaze to her bra and giggled. “I love lace. I’ll explain later. Right now, I want to be naked and underneath you.”
He ran his fingertips lightly across her midriff. At once, her center clenched with silent squeals of delight, and another shiver of longing passed through her.
In the shadows with only a light from the aisle below, Cole towered beside her, half-dressed. His hard, muscled chest revealed the body of a man who did manual labor for a living.
He ran his fingers along her shoulders and down her arms, taking her bra straps with him. Faster than she could comprehend, he’d unhooked the front clasp, and her breasts were free. “Perfect,” he murmured, and he swooped her up in his arms and laid her down on the makeshift bed.
He took one of her nipples in his mouth, sucking, nibbling, caressing. He drew a moan from her, a wordless plea to feel his tongue on other parts of her body.
The room tilted. He popped the snap on her shorts and tugged them down along with her panties. “You’re even more beautiful than I imagined. I’ve tried so hard to stay away from you, and right now I can’t even think about walking away.”
She lay naked before him while he stood over her. A kind of acceptance washed over her. They might not have a future together, but tonight was all theirs. She could live with one day as long as he stayed with her now.
He pulled a condom out of his back pocket and undid his jeans, then pushed them past his hips.
“Did I wear you down or did you come prepared, cowboy?” She smiled up at him.
“Does it look like I’m worn down?” He grinned. “I’m damn lucky I stashed a handful of condoms in my suitcase months ago.”
She lowered her gaze. The sight of him hard, ready, and beautiful gave her another enjoyable thrill. She held out a hand, and Cole at once lay on top of her.
Skin against skin. Was there a more glorious feeling in the world? Every cell in her body responded to the differences in their bodies. Big against small. Soft against hard. Every brush of him against her sent her moving underneath him. From head to toe, her body conformed to his until they were locked together, melting into each other.
The trail of his lips painted her with a low, burning fire, moving along her neck and lower as he discovered her body. She clawed at his shoulders when he sucked her to a near frenzy. His hand wandered over her stomach, over her mound, and found the moist heat between her legs. Soft moans escaped her, and the most delightful frustration filled her.
He stroked, teased and promised, but held her back from finding release. She arched up against his fingers, silently begging him for more. Her legs clamped around his hand, rocking against him, trying to reach for the explosion she knew would come.
Finally, he shifted into position between her legs and thrust into her. Pleasure shot through her, confining her as he plunged, withdrew, and set the rhythm. Helpless to do anything but hold on and let the feelings consume her, she moaned his name.
With a cry, she unraveled, and a few seconds later, Cole followed her with a deep groan of his own satisfaction. Her body trembled underneath him as the aftershocks of her climax hit her. She clung tightly to Cole, realizing she’d lied to herself and to him when she said she’d be satisfied with one night with him.
She wanted more.
Chapter Sixteen
Instead of the storm he expected to wake up to outside the small foreman’s cabin, the sun shone and the ranch yard remained quiet. The closer he drew to the main house, the farther the sound of chirping birds escaped his hearing. In the exposed yard, the early morning heat warmed Cole’s shoulders. He slowed his step. If the McDougal family were aware of what happened between him and Florentine, they weren’t ready to lynch him yet.
So why did he feel guilt?
He’d clung to everything Florentine offered him last night in the kind of desperation that came from a man who believed he’d never see the sun rise again. Yet, he’d seen proof this morning. He lived, and instead of reassuring him that he could face the day, the sun woke him up to reality.
Florentine would never be his. No matter how much he wanted to believe she’d be satisfied with the kind of lifestyle he lived, she was on a mission to ride in the PBRA. That left her off limits to him, and he had better get used to it.
A girlish laugh came from the barn. He pivoted and smiled. Florentine must’ve taken Sarah down to help with chores.
The excitement and companionship Sarah found on the McDougal ranch would make it hard for her to readjust to the lonelier life on the Double R. She had all the adult attention she wanted here and new experiences to enjoy. He strolled along the gravel path, following the happy sounds. Most of all, he suspected Sarah would miss Florentine the most. He couldn’t fault his daughter. He’d miss her, too.
He searched the empty barn, then strolled through the open back doors and stepped out into the side pen. Giggles came from his left, and he headed around the corner. He pulled his hat down to block the rays of the sun and peered around for his daughter.
Sarah sat atop a horse with no adult, riding at a trot. The bottom fell out of his world. One tumble, and she could break her neck. He forged a wide path, making his way toward Sarah. The last thing he wanted to do was spook the horse.
Sarah spotted him and lifted her hand off the saddle horn to wave. “Dad! Look at me.”
“Sarah bear, listen to me.” He glided across the distance separating them, keeping a safe distance from the horse. His heart pounded against his ribs. “I want you to talk to the horse, real softly. Can you do that for me?”
“Okay.” Sarah dropped down over the horse’s neck, putting pressure on the reins as she bent forward. “You’re a nice horse, and pretty too. I think…”
Florentine came up to him. “What’s going on?”
He ignored her and continued walking along the side of Sarah’s mount. “Now I want you to say whoa, without moving your body. Stay low and keep your feet in the stirrups.”
“But I don’t want to stop.”
“Sarah.” He wanted to snatch her off the horse, but he had no idea if he would set the horse off. “Say whoa.”
“Whoa, horsey, whoa.”
Almost instantly, the horse stopped and held h
is position. Cole took up a litany of praises as he approached and grabbed hold of the bridle. Without taking his gaze off the horse’s ears, he held his arm out.
“Off, Sarah.” The second he felt her touch his arm, he had her tucked securely against his shoulder.
He let go of the horse, and backed away. At the side of the barn, he put Sarah on her feet and leaned down. He wanted to yell at her, to tell her how dangerous it was for a seven-year-old to ride a horse she wasn’t familiar with, to remind her she knew the rules. No riding alone. There must be an adult with her at all times.
“I want you to walk through the barn, and go up to the house. You’re to sit on the porch and wait for me. Do not move an inch, and wait for me.” He tipped her chin. “You know better. I make the rules for a reason, and that’s to keep you safe. You’ve disobeyed me.”
“But—” Sarah pointed to Florentine.
“Not a word.” He motioned for her to go. “I’ll be there in a few minutes, and we’ll talk.”
“Yes, Dad.” Sarah dragged her feet and walked off.
Once Sarah moved out of sight, he braced his hands on his knees and let his head fall, willing his heart not to give out. This never would’ve happened if he’d stayed home and kept Sarah on the Double R.
A pair of beaten red boots landed in the dirt in front of him. He straightened.
“She was perfectly safe. Plaid is a bombproof horse.” Florentine hooked her thumbs in her belt loops. “Sarah wanted to ride, and I knew better than to ride with her so I wouldn’t break my contract.”
He opened his mouth and stared at her. “Do you honestly think I give a damn about you breaking the contract? That’s my daughter you risked on that horse. I don’t let her ride alone.”
She flinched. His anger rose, but it pleased him to see his words hurt her.
Florentine stuck her nose in the air. “She’s seven. I rode the range with my dad, since I was five…alone. I was right here the whole time. Plaid was in my control. She couldn’t have been safer if I was sitting behind her myself. You’ll have to trust me to know what Plaid is capable of and that I’d never do anything to harm Sarah.”
