by Debra Kayn
He glared. “You’re not qualified to know what is best for Sarah.”
“Apparently.” Florentine sneered. “You’ve reminded me every day how bad of an influence I am.”
“And, you’ve proven it once again.” He walked two paces and spun back around. “Maybe you should think once in a while.”
“I do.” She ground the heel of her boot in the dirt. “It’s part of my job.”
“Bullshit,” he said. “You’re a bull rider, paid to turn your brain off so common sense doesn’t get in the way. Even when the doctor told you not to do anything physical, you took off on the horse, and if that’s not stupid enough, you’re planning on throwing yourself on the back of another bull this weekend.”
She stared him down. When he refused to say any more, she shrugged. “It’s my life.”
They stood assessing each other. He clamped his teeth together. She had no idea. She didn’t have kids. She’d never experienced losing a spouse. Hell, she couldn’t even save herself from getting hurt. Why would he expect her to understand?
His phone rang. He cast her one more look, and answered. “What?”
He tapped his foot, listening to Hudson fill him in on the meeting he missed. Florentine rolled her eyes. “Listen. I’ll call you tonight. I can’t talk right now.”
He disconnected and pointed his phone at Florentine. “I’ve got problems at the granary, and I shouldn’t even be here. I don’t need you causing more trouble for me with my daughter.”
She planted her hands on her hips. “No one is keeping you here.”
He walked away without speaking another word. She called his name, but he kept going. There was nothing more to say.
They came from two different worlds, with different goals. He had one focus: Sarah.
He marched through the barn, and once outside looked for Sarah. She sat on the porch with her elbows planted on her knees, her chin sunk in her hands. He slowed down, letting the anger have time to work its way out of him. She had to understand that he made rules to keep her safe.
Sarah dropped her head in her hands when he approached, and he fought back a sigh. When had everything gotten so out of hand?
Her soft sniffles dove right into his gut. He sat beside her on the stoop, glad no one else was around to witness the problem.
“What’s the rule about riding horses?”
Sarah raised her head. “No riding alone until I have more practice, and always wear my safety hat.”
He nodded. “So, explain to me why you thought riding a horse today without your hat was a good idea.”
Sarah’s lower lip popped out, and she pulled on her shirt. He wanted to drag her onto his lap and reassure her that he still loved her, but she was getting too old for him to allow her to push him into changing his mind.
“I’m waiting.”
“I never get to do anything fun.” She crossed her arms.
He shook his head. “That’s not true. I brought you here with me. You were able to watch your first fireworks show. Last month, we spent three days camping and fishing.”
“That’s with you. I never get to do anything myself. Even Jenny gets to ride her own horse, whenever she wants. I just want to do that, too. I’m a good rider, Daddy.”
Cole rubbed his hands along his thighs. He understood what Sarah meant. Her friend, Jenny, was a year younger than Sarah with rather lax parents when it came to safety.
“Listen, Sarah…you’ll get to ride when you’re older. For now, I want you to mind the rules and be safe.” He put his arm around her shoulders.
She shrugged away and stood up. “It’s not fair! Florentine let me ride.”
“Florentine’s not your parent.” He cleared his throat.
“You’re mean, mean, mean. I wish Florentine was my mom. I’m tired of you thinking I’m a baby.” She ran up the steps to the house, opened the door, and ran inside. To make matters worse, she slammed the door behind her.
He looked up at the sky and shook his head. There were two days until their flight out of here, and he already had two ladies mad at him.
The door opened and quietly clicked shut. It wasn’t his overdramatic daughter. She had a way of making an entrance and an exit lately.
“Cole?” Chantilly sat down beside him. “Sarah’s in the kitchen. I told her she could have a couple of chocolate chip cookies. I asked her to come and get your permission first, but she says she isn’t talking to you. I wanted to let you know, so you won’t get mad at her.”
He nodded. “That’s fine. Thank you. I apologize for her barging in the house without knocking.”
“Daddy should’ve built a swinging door for how many times one of us has slammed our way out.” She laughed. “Sarah might be the first to slam her way in.”
Unfortunately, Cole could understand why Sarah would want to run inside the house. She was at the stage when she questioned why she didn’t have a mother, and pressured him to make them a real family. Fortunately, all the books he bought assured him that this stage would pass.
“I’ll leave you alone. Come in when you’re ready.” Chantilly patted his back and made to stand up.
“Wait.” He took off his hat and set it beside him. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Do you think I’m overprotective of Sarah?” He exhaled. “Florentine seems to think I’m babying her because I won’t allow her to ride a horse by herself.”
“I don’t think a single father can do too much to show his daughter how much she’s loved.” Chantilly watched him carefully.
“That doesn’t answer my question. Do you think she’s lacking? Do you really believe kids Sarah’s age have more freedom?”
She stretched out her legs, and clicked her tongue. “That’s a tough one.”
“Florentine thinks I overreacted.”
“What do you believe?” she asked.
He huffed. “The hell if I know. I seem to question everything lately.”
“You know, some people in Pike thought us McDougal girls were wild and undisciplined.” Chantilly leaned back and braced her hands on the porch. “Daddy took a lot of guff from the women in town for letting one of his daughters ride bulls in the circuit.”
Cole turned to her. “He approved of her riding?”
“He was her biggest supporter.” Chantilly smiled.
“I don’t understand that. I would never allow Sarah on a bull.”
“I didn’t say he didn’t worry.” Chantilly snorted and the gesture reminded him of Florentine. “Hell no! He would stand at the fence, his hands shaking, barely breathing, with his jaw clamped so tight, I thought he’d bust a vein.”
“Did he ever ask her to stop?”
“I asked him that once.” Chantilly sighed. “He said, ‘Sometimes a dad has to stand back and let his daughter do what she thinks is right for her because it’s the only way she’ll figure out what she really wants. It’s a learning experience, and Florentine had a lot of learning to do.’”
He clasped his hands together. “Florentine wants to make being a professional bull rider her career. She thinks the only way she can motivate young girls is if she’s the best in the sport.”
“Yep. That’s what she says.” Chantilly sighed. “It’s no secret that our daddy gave to the community, gave to strangers he met on the street, and most of all, he donated money and set up college funds for less privileged children. Florentine’s a lot like that. She feels good when she’s helping others.”
Cole stared out to the barn, letting Chantilly’s words settle around him. His own dad had a similar way of raising him. He rubbed the back of his neck. Where did he draw the line when it came to protecting his daughter? He wanted her to grow up strong and independent, not scared and leery of every new thing she encountered.
“Sarah will be fine in the house with me. Take a break, and things will make more sense to you.” Chantilly stood up and patted his shoulder. “You’re a good guy, Cole. I like you.”
&nb
sp; When she went back into the house, he stood and walked the length of the house. He tried to remember when his dad put him on a horse for the first time. He must’ve been younger than Sarah because he couldn’t recollect the moment.
Before he’d taken Sarah off Florentine’s horse, he’d seen how proud she was of riding by herself. He could even admit that she’d kept her brains about her, and followed his directions too. He had some serious thinking to do. He slapped his hat back on his head. Maybe he could start teaching her how to ride in the round pen. That way he could watch her while he was doing chores.
He’d make new rules, ones that’d make them both happy. If she promised to wear a riding helmet and always have someone more experienced with her, he’d let her ride if she asked permission first.
Sarah would like that, and eventually she’d gain the skill to ride in the Northern pasture where he could see her from the house and the barn. He breathed easier. Giving her the news she wanted would put a smile back on her face. He glanced at the barn and before he could change his mind, he started jogging in that direction.
Florentine was right. Sarah was old enough to express her desire to ride alone, and the way he reacted to Florentine was out of line. Used to making the sole decisions in his daughter’s life, he’d reacted without thinking about the consequences.
Before he stepped into the barn, Jack and Sam blocked his path. Jack threw his arm around his shoulders, but the serious expression on his face told him this wasn’t going to be a friendly chat.
“I couldn’t help but hear what happened back there with Florentine.” Jack walked him over to the side of the barn, stopped, and dropped his arm.
“If you two think you’re gonna take me to the ground for speaking my mind, do you think you can we go somewhere that my daughter won’t witness the fight? Because I don’t plan on letting you take a free swing at me.” Cole hitched his chin toward the house and Sarah.
The corner of Jack’s mouth lifted. “You really think we’d piss off Florentine for roughin’ up her boyfriend?”
Sam crossed his arms. “He’s obviously never seen Florentine’s right hook.”
Cole eyed them both. “You’re telling me Florentine kicked your ass?”
“Hell yeah.” Jack pushed back his hat. “You can’t do anything to upset one of the McDougal girls without them going after blood. They’ll fall apart over babies and flowers, but don’t let one of them hear you badmouthin’ one of the sisters or mistreatin’ an animal.”
“So, what does it mean when Florentine walks off without talking, and what do I have to do to make her believe I’m sorry?” He cleared his throat. “I hurt her, and I’d like it if she listens to my apology.”
“Be truthful. She’s smart and will see past a phony excuse.” Sam hooked his thumbs in his belt loops. “Florentine has a big heart. She always has, and there’s no changing her. When she’s home, she gives more of herself to others than all the sisters do together. That’s just the way she is…she’s special. All she was doing today was making your little girl happy. To tell you the truth, Florentine’s gone through hell lately, and I’ve noticed that you and Sarah are responsible for putting that smile back on her face. Well, before you blew it by insulting her.”
“I could’ve handled it better.” He turned at the sound of someone calling Florentine’s name.
Bisette walked toward the group. “Where’s Florentine?”
“In the barn, pissed off at Cole.” Jack grinned, thoroughly enjoying his discomfort.
“Oh, that’s great.” Bisette looked Cole up and down, and he had a feeling he came away lacking. “You better make my sister happy, so she can appreciate the trouble I’m going through rearranging my schedule to help her out with the fundraiser.”
“What fundraiser?” he asked.
“Last year she started organizing a yearly entertainment show to raise funds for the low income children in Wyoming after the season was over. It’s a perfect time to make sure all kids have warm coats and gloves for the winter months.” Bisette brushed a bug off her arm. “She’s done the same thing every year for Pike.”
The whole time Florentine spoke of how she wanted to mentor young girls and show them that she believed in them made more sense to him now. Not only did she throw everything into riding bulls, she was serious about helping others. He grimaced. No wonder she always tried to help Sarah. She probably thought he didn’t believe in the good things she accomplished, because he flipped out over Sarah. He fully supported her endeavor to help kids.
“Damn.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m going to go apologize.”
“Good luck.” Jack slapped him on the back. “You’ll need it.”
Inside the barn, he headed to the open stall. He found Florentine on the other side of the horse, brushing him. He leaned against the doorway to wait until she finished what she was doing.
No wonder it bugged her that he refused to support her. She’d worked hard to gain everyone’s respect, and he’d gone out of his way to make her miserable.
“Cole’s a dumbass.” Florentine threw her arms around Plaid’s neck. “You’re the best horse I’ve ever had, and you’d never hurt a rider. I’ll have to check around and see if there’s a young girl in Pike who’d enjoy coming over and riding you when I’m away. You miss that, don’t you?”
Cole held his breath.
“I should never have slept with him.” She rubbed the sweet in the middle of Plaid’s chest. “I screwed up big time. From now on I’m not even going to think about him.”
“Not even if he apologizes?” He stepped into the stall.
Florentine startled but recovered quickly. She breezed past him, hissing, “No.” He turned and gazed after her. She marched down the aisle of the barn, her ass swishing, ignoring him completely. He whistled, and then laughed when she held up her arm and gave him the finger without missing a step.
At least she hadn’t decked him.
Chapter Seventeen
Cole didn’t know whether to laugh or beg her forgiveness. He hated that she was determined to go back to riding bulls, yet he loved her feisty spirit. He was a ball of contradictions, but that didn’t stop him from running after Florentine.
He caught up with her outside the barn. He jumped in front of her.
“Can we talk?” He pushed back his hat.
She stopped and stared at his chest. “There’s nothing more to say to each other. I know what you think about me. You can’t hide behind the darkness and pretty words. It’s daylight.”
“I jumped to conclusions.” He reached out and took her hand.
She pulled away.
“When it comes to Sarah, I don’t seem to take into consideration how she’s feeling. I think of her as my baby, and it’s up to me to protect her and make all the decisions. I guess I don’t want to face the fact that she’s growing up. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. You were only making my daughter happy, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m sorry.”
“Apology accepted.” She stepped around him and continued toward the house.
He jogged a few steps and stopped her again. “Hang on.”
“What?”
“You’re still mad?”
She sighed. “Cole, I was never upset about the way you protect your daughter. I admire you for raising Sarah and being a great dad.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“It’s your warped opinion about me. That I’m a bad person for being who I am. You’ve rejected me by wanting out of the contract, you’ve given me your crappy opinion about bull riders, and you’ve insulted me again by claiming I’m not smart enough to be around Sarah alone.”
“I’ve let Sarah be with you.” He frowned.
“You know how much it means to me to be an example to young girls. I want to make a difference in the world, my way, through bull riding. How can I do that when you don’t even trust me with Sarah?” She looked away. “Most of all, I hate how you make me doubt myself. How can I help
others, when I’ve failed just being a friend to Sarah. A friend, Cole. Nothing more. You’ve hurt me, and your attitude ruins everything wonderful about you.”
“Like last night?” He turned her to face him.
“Yeah. I’ve ridden bulls like you, Cole. They give me a high on the ride, and as I’m dismounting, they swing around and clip me with their horns.” She raised her hands, palms up. “The only thing it does is make me want back on top to show him I’ll survive another round. I thought I could be happy with one night with you, but I want more. I want you, but I won’t let you use me. And it’s not all about sex. I want the Cole Reardon that hides away from me, not the sponsor and not the guy with the dangerous horns.”
His chest compressed, and he sucked more air into his mouth. “I’m a dad, and you’re…”
She lifted her chin. “What’s wrong with me that you can’t trust me with your heart, with being around Sarah?”
He briefly closed his eyes. Everything about this stung. His own heart had healed, but though Sarah couldn’t remember what happened, she still longed for a mother and suffered the loss. Knowing he’d offended Florentine in his selfish attempt to keep their relationship an affair ate a hole in his gut. And now, it looked like he was going to break Florentine’s heart.
The fault lay on his shoulders. Again. He’d tried to accept the sponsorship that came with buying Turner Grain, but now he realized he’d ignored his real reasons for rejecting the sponsorship. He couldn’t accept the fear and distaste that came with thrill seeking.
Maybe if Florentine understood what kind of heartache he’d gone through, and his part in not stopping Theresa from dying, she’d be able to leave him behind and be happy.
“Sarah’s mom…” He waved her off when she stepped forward. “Her name was Theresa. She was a lot like you. Not in looks, but in how she faced life. She was always reaching out to take the world on by herself and believed whatever she set her heart to doing was the only thing that mattered. I found her irresistible at first. I admired her drive, her zest for life.”
Florentine stepped closer.
“She…” He glanced down at the ground. “She was young, carefree, and made people laugh.”
