by Debra Kayn
“What happened?”
“One of her friends wanted to treat her to a weekend away. I didn’t like her friend. Laura always caused trouble among their circle. All that mattered to her was having a good time, and the hell with everyone else. One time Laura convinced Theresa to go skydiving. She snuck off early one morning after I’d left the bed to go do chores. I came home to her on this…high from jumping out of a plane.” Cole shook his head. “She didn’t understand why I was mad. I couldn’t get her to see how scared I was that something could’ve happened to her, and I wouldn’t have known anything was wrong. She laughed at me.”
Florentine remained quiet.
“Anyway, her risky behavior whenever she hung out with Laura seemed to drop off when Theresa found out she was pregnant.” He shrugged. “I thought she’d finally understood that she had a family to think about. We’d talk about what having a family meant to both of us, and I thought we were on the same page…”
“But it didn’t stop?”
“No.” He tightened his mouth. “When Sarah turned two months old, Theresa told me she decided she needed a break from motherhood and planned to leave for two days to go with Laura to some day spa and get pampered. They were going to spend the night in the city and go to a concert before they had to come back to their boring lives. But, I knew Theresa. Things weren’t always so simple with her.”
Without saying a word, Florentine moved beside him. A wave of emotion came over him at the slight brush of her arm, but he forced it back.
“I was mad. I told her I didn’t want her to go. I didn’t trust Laura not to talk Theresa into doing something stupid, but Theresa had known Laura since they were children, and she laughed off my concern. The morning she left, I stayed in the nursery. I didn’t want to fight again. She was going no matter what I said, so I let her know my disapproval by ignoring her. I got fed up with fighting all the time. On the way to the city, their car clipped the divider on the interstate. Witnesses said Theresa was going more than eighty miles an hour and both of them were waving their arms outside the windows as if they had no care in the world, just out to get a thrill from speeding down the highway.”
“Oh, Cole.”
He glanced down and dug his boot heel into the dirt. “I hated Theresa for so long. If it wasn’t for her and her wild ideas, Sarah would still have a mother. I’ve come to terms with what happened, but my daughter is going to go through life missing out on a having a mom.”
“We can’t predict when we’ll lose someone we love.”
“No.” He looked at Florentine, expecting to see shock and disgust that he hadn’t been able to make his wife see reason and couldn’t protect her. Instead, he found acceptance and support that gave him the courage to go on. “For a few years afterward, I was angry. Theresa threw our love away for a thrill ride. Sarah lost a mother all because Theresa needed an adrenaline rush. My little girl wants a mother more than anything, and the problem is, I want you.”
Florentine slipped her fingers into the palm of his hand. He squeezed and held on to her tight. “When you think long term, past today, it scares you? Because I’m a bull rider?”
Seconds ticked by without Cole answering her. Finally, he pulled the answer out of his gut and handed it to her. “Yes. I won’t put Sarah through the pain of losing someone else she loves.”
“Oh, Cole,” she whispered.
He stared at the ground. “I’ve tried to figure out what’s going on between us. I’ve spent nights awake, staring at the ceiling, hoping things were different than I was imagining. The truth is, I want you, and I shouldn’t. I’m a dad first, and I have to protect Sarah.”
Florentine leaned her head against Cole’s arm. She didn’t say a word or try to talk him into changing his mind. She made no excuses for being a bull rider. She quietly listened without arguing, and that surprised him. He expected her to talk him out of his decision. Deep down, he wanted her to convince him that everything would be fine, to reassure him that nothing would happen to her.
Instead, she simply held him.
Chapter Eighteen
Three acres past the barn, in Section D, Florentine stood in the river. The glare off the sparkling clear water blinded her. She squinted, holding tight to Sarah’s hands while she stretched out along the surface of the water, kicking her feet. A spray of droplets rose up in the air and came down on Florentine. She shrieked and pulled Sarah over to the rock.
“Let’s take a break.” Florentine scooted over and patted the spot beside her.
Sarah sat down. “I wish we had a river at our house. I’m not hot anymore.”
“What do you like to do at home?”
“I have a dog. Her name is Daisy, but she doesn’t like water.” Sarah rubbed her lips together. “She comes in the tree fort though.”
“You have a ladder climbing dog?” Florentine grinned. “Now that’s something special.”
Sarah put her wet hands on Florentine’s leg. She brushed the hair out of Sarah’s eyes. In the direct sun, her freckles seemed to multiply.
“It’s a good thing we put sunscreen on you before we got in the water.” She tapped Sarah’s nose.
“Look!” Sarah’s arm popped up in front of her face.
Florentine turned and held her hand over her eyes to shield the sun. “Looks like we have company coming.”
“Maybe Dad changed his mind.” Sarah stood.
“Whoa, cowgirl. Hold your horses. You know the rules. You have to hold my hand.” Florentine took hold of Sarah. “Until you learn how to swim, it’s better to use the buddy system in the water.”
“I like being your buddy.” Sarah pulled her closer to the bank.
Cole, Chantilly, Jack, and Craig pulled to a stop at the water’s edge. Cole slid off his mount and motioned for them to come out of the water. She helped Sarah traverse the slippery rock bed.
“Are you going swimming?” She reached down and cupped a handful of water.
He shook his head. “The others are riding the horses over to Roy Lee and Margot’s place to do evening chores while they’re gone. Chantilly wants to know if Sarah would like to help feed the small animals.”
Florentine kneeled down until the water enveloped her waist. “How does that sound, Sarah? Margot has a lot of animals. You’ll be able to hold bunnies, chicks, and I bet Harley’s piglets are still small enough you could hold one.”
“Really?” Sarah nodded. “Can I?”
“Yep. Let’s get you up on the bank.” She helped Sarah out of the water and turned to Cole. “Are you going, too?”
He cocked his brow, and she knew he waited for her to send him away. He seemed to need an excuse to be around her. If he believed she wouldn’t encourage him, he didn’t know her well enough. She still had hope that she could change his mind. All he needed was a little incentive.
“Stay.” She dropped her gaze to her chest, readjusted her bikini top before looking at him again, and smiled. “Please.”
He kept staring at her, and then called out to Chantilly. “Can Sarah ride with you, Chantilly?”
Florentine had to back out deeper in the water to keep from laughing. He was more transparent than the big picture window in the living room.
“Sure. I’d love to take her,” Chantilly said.
Cole put his hand on Sarah’s hair and tilted her head back. “Mind your manners, and listen to Chantilly at all times.”
“Awesome!” Sarah skipped over to Chantilly, raised her arm, and settled herself on the horse as if she was born in the saddle. “I’ll be good. Bye, Dad. Bye, Florentine.”
She waved.
He waited until the last horse rounded the bend out of sight. Then he turned and looked out at Florentine. She stood in the middle of the river, water up to her waist, and crooked her finger, beckoning him to join her.
“No. You come here.” He pushed back his cowboy hat.
She shook her hair around her. “You’ll have to come to me.”
“I don’t have
any swimming trunks with me.”
“This is the country, cowboy. There’s not a neighbor for miles.” She tilted her head, while cupping water in her hands and letting it drizzle down the valley between her breasts, cooling her off.
While they stared at one another, Cole pulled the front of his shirt apart. An artillery of snaps split the air as the pearl buttons came undone. He unhooked his belt and undid the first two buttons on his Levi’s. Next came his boots, and then he removed his jeans and boxers. She never took her gaze off him.
He embodied sexy in his faded jeans, work-worn shirt, and black boots, but stripped from the overlay, he was perfect. Ripped abs. Broad shoulders. Proud stature. She licked her lips. Those thighs. He had the most muscular, well-defined legs she’d ever seen on a man.
It took all her power to wait for him to come to her. Then, because she couldn’t wait any longer when he took his sweet time over the sharper rocks in the water, she met him halfway, unable to keep her hands to herself. She ran her fingers over the delineated muscles. He was amazing in the darkness of the barn, but out here, under the bright afternoon sun, he was real.
The most intense need to know everything about Cole swept through her. She wanted to know what he did first thing in the morning, what he loved to do after the chores were done, and if he ever got so tired he laughed himself silly.
“Cole?” Her heartbeat echoed in her ears. A low thump thump thump overtook any rational thoughts.
“You’re killing me, darlin’.” He trailed his finger along the line of her skimpy bikini top.
No man had ever looked at her with such obvious need. It was intoxicating and made her feel beautiful, bolder. All the crazy, wanton urges she’d suppressed the last couple of years surged to the surface.
She pulled down her shorts, worked them over her feet, and held them in front of her, dripping wet. “I hope you have a good pitchin’ arm, cause I’d hate to walk back to the ranch with my lily white ass out for everyone to see. I might scare the herd.”
He chuckled and wadded the material into a ball. His eyes sparkled more brightly in the reflection of the sun on the water and his smile softened into almost a boyish grin. He threw the shorts and gave a masculine grunt of approval at the plop of the soaked material hitting the rocks.
Excitement shot through her, and she tilted her head back and leaned into him, bare stomach to bare stomach. “I love having nothing between us.”
He growled and picked her up. “Hang on. Even the cold water isn’t doing a thing to slow me down. I feel like I’m gonna explode if I don’t have you again, but I don’t want to go too fast this time.”
Florentine wrapped her arms around his neck. “I don’t want you to wait.”
She closed her eyes against the sun as he leaned in and grazed his lips against hers, until she parted her mouth and demanded more. His hands cupped her butt, shifting her hips and she felt the evidence of his hardness against the heart of her being.
“Shit.” He stiffened.
“What?” She kissed his collarbone, not stopping when he tried to pull away.
“Florentine?” he muttered. “We’ve gotta stop.”
She continued kissing him, his neck, his jaw, the bridge of his nose.
“Dammit, darlin’. I don’t have a condom.” His body tensed and he tried to put her down.
She tightened her legs around him, locked her ankles together, and moaned. “It’s okay.” She licked the curve of his bottom lip. “I take shots so I don’t have to deal with my period while riding.” She pressed her breasts against him. “It also works as birth control.”
He looked closely into her eyes, until he was seemingly satisfied with what he heard. “Good.”
She rotated her hips, unable to remain still when what she wanted was right there, nudging her thigh. He rocked, mimicking what he wanted to do with her, making her want to feel his thickness inside of her, filling her.
In seconds, she manipulated her body into position and Cole slid into her. Moaning into his mouth, she trembled as he slid his hands along her thighs, taking her slowly. She didn’t care how outrageous she was being. How out of control her emotions were with Cole. All she wanted was his touch, everywhere on her body.
“You’re beautiful.” He ground against her.
She couldn’t answer. Her gasps came fast, heavy. His warm breath tickled her cheek. She rocked against him, leaning her head back, letting him kiss his way down her neck. She liked the strong way he took her higher. He held her up, letting her soar.
Encompassed by the coolness of the water, the heat of the sun, and the strength of Cole’s body doing everything right, she groaned in pleasure. Her fingers dug into his shoulders and she convulsed as jolt after jolt of pleasure exploded in her lower belly.
As she floated halfway back to reality, the coiled tension in Cole radiated through his body and he held onto her as if any moment the strength in his legs would give way, and they’d both float away in the current.
Together, under the big sky of Montana, in the middle of the bluest water this side of the Rockies, she held him. Minutes ticked by, and Cole finally kissed her bare shoulder and set her on her feet. She gazed at him, unsure where they went from here. He was trying, she’d give him that much.
They’d had an agreement last night, but there was no way she could walk away from Cole and Sarah and not miss what she had found. After she competed, she’d have a week off before the board came to a decision. That’s if she managed to win the championship. Maybe then, she could take time to see Cole, away from the ranch, on neutral ground, and talk about where they’d go from here.
He held out his hand, and she clutched onto him, not wanting the feelings to end. “We better get you out of the sun. Your shoulders will start burning.”
They returned to the bank, redressed, and then Cole led her over to a group of bushes and spread his shirt on the ground. She sat down in the shade across from him, waiting for him to broach the subject of what would happen next.
“What are you thinking?” she asked.
“That you’re beautiful out here with your guard down, not so determined to win, but sharing yourself with me. I like that side of you. It feels real.”
“This is real. What we have together is special. It doesn’t change because of what I do for a living.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said. “I told myself this wouldn’t happen again after last night, and then changed my mind today. Tomorrow, you go back to the circuit. What happens then?”
“I win.” She shrugged. “It’s a part of me, too. No amount of ignoring it will make it any different. You have to accept who I am.”
He nodded. “You’re stubborn, I’ll give you that.”
“I’ve been called worse.” She shrugged.
“I didn’t achieve what I set out to do by bringing you to Pike. Not that I regret our time together.” He glanced away, staring over the river. “I’ll see you through the next three rides. That’s the best I can do for you. I’ve honored the agreement in our contract.”
“That’s all I ever asked for,” she whispered.
The silence sliced through her heart, one layer at a time. Everything had changed. She was falling for him, and even though she knew the timing was wrong, the circumstances were wrong, and bull riding to him was wrong. There had to be something she could do.
What came next for her wasn’t going to ruin what they were experiencing. He gave her no reason to think they’d continue what they started, but he’d made love to her again. That had to mean something. She needed it to mean something.
She’d discovered so much about Cole in the time that they were together this week. She couldn’t help enjoying what he brought to her life. He made her feel like a real woman, not a bull rider, and that made her happier than she ever expected. Having someone to love, and to be a part of someone’s life, appealed to her. She’d snuffed out that dream long ago, concentrating on her professional life. Cole challenged her to find o
ut what would happen next if they could start a real relationship.
Together, they could work through their differences. They had two very different lives, but other people had conquered bigger hurdles. So could they.
“Florentine.”
“Hm?” She scooted closer.
“Jack’s taking Sarah and me to the airport tonight.”
“What?” She frowned. “I thought we were flying out together tomorrow.”
“No. I want to take Sarah back to the ranch.” He hooked his finger with hers, and stared down at their linked hands. “It’ll give me time to get her settled back into a normal routine and check in with Pete to see how everything is going.”
“A-are you coming to the final?” she whispered.
He nodded. “I’m still your sponsor, right?”
“Yeah.” She pulled away from him and brushed the grass from underneath her thighs. “It won’t be too long, and you won’t be saddled with a bull rider any longer…”
“True.” He held her gaze. “I need to drop Sarah off at home with my dad first. I don’t want her…shit.”
Cole would never change his opinion of her choice of career. She looked away. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. I wish things were different.”
She nodded. “I’ll say goodbye to Sarah before you leave.”
“She’d appreciate that. She cares about you.”
“I care about her, too.” She gave him a tight smile. “We better go back to the house.”
They walked to the horse Cole brought with him. She picked up the towels she and Sarah had brought.
“I think it’d be alright if you rode in front of me on the way back.” He leaned over and kissed her forehead. “I’ll make sure to go slow and hold you tight.”
She smiled, even though she didn’t feel like things were going to be all right ever again. “Nah, I’m going to walk. The exercise is good for me, and in two days I’m off the doctor’s restrictions.”
“I’ll walk with you.” He held out his hand.
She shook her head. “No. Go on. I’d like to stop near the bluebonnets on my way back to have a moment to think. I’ll meet you up at the house.”
