Beyond the Cut

by Sarah Castille

  But Dawn … in this … So fucking sexy he could barely breathe.

  He lifted her and settled her on the desk, parting her legs with his hips to give him better access.

  “You’re hurt…”

  He cut off her protest with two hands around her heart-shaped face, tilting her head back so he could ravage her mouth some more.

  “Cade…”

  Even as she kissed him, even as her hands smoothed over his shoulders and her fingernails dug into his skin, he heard the hesitation in her voice. Desperation seized him. He wanted her to want him as much as he wanted her. He wanted her to need him as he needed her. He wanted her to know him as he was now, consumed by her, and not the Cade that went from bed to bed looking for what now trembled in his arms.

  So he threaded his hand through her hair and tugged her head back because he knew she loved it.

  So he slid his lips down her neck, to that sensitive spot on her shoulder that made her moan.

  So he yanked the dress over her head, baring her to him, knowing his dominance aroused her.

  But he wasn’t prepared for what lay beneath. Creamy, voluptuous breasts nestled in a froth of white lace. A pure, lush, decadent feast. A bride. And he was a bastard because he was going to take her here on a hard desk in a filthy office, instead of a nice soft bed in a fancy hotel room, and there was fuck-all he could do about it. He’d never felt want as he felt it now: pulsing, throbbing, pounding want.

  “Dawn, babe. You are so beautiful you could make a priest sin.”

  “Good thing then I already have a Sinner.”

  When his palm cupped the smooth perfection of her breast, and his thumb brushed gently over her taut, rosy nipple, he couldn’t hold back. With a groan, he eased her back on the desk, wrapping her legs around his hips.

  “Touch me,” she whispered.

  “What my old lady wants, my old lady gets.” He smoothed his hands along her inner thighs, his fingers brushing over the lace tops of her stockings and along the garter elastics, until he reached her lace panties. She liked lace. He remembered tearing lace panties off her before, the soft rend of material as erotic a sound as her whimper when he stroked her wet pussy.

  “More, Cade. Don’t tease.”

  His body shook like it was his first time, like he had at the age of fourteen when he discovered he could lose himself in a woman’s embrace and the shouting and crying and screaming he heard at home would fade away beneath moans and whimpers of desire. He couldn’t stop the pain, but at least he could give pleasure.

  He cupped her breast in his hand, tugging down her bra to take her nipple in his mouth.

  “Oh God.” Dawn arched off the desk, offering him more. Her hands slid over his chest, sending wave after wave of heat down to his cock. Unable to stop himself, he ground his erection against the curve of her sex until he was on the verge of spilling himself like a teenage boy.

  Her hips rocked against him, her heels digging into his back. With her head thrown back, her hair spread around her in a golden wave, she was a goddess, devastatingly beautiful, irresistibly wanton … and his.

  Mine. Overwhelmed with a need to claim her, he grasped the edge of her panties and eased them over her hips, sliding them over her lean legs and off. Too pretty to tear away.

  He heard her gasp, and if he hadn’t been so wound up, he would have savored her, licked the salty sweetness from her skin, and teased her nipples until she writhed beneath him. But that was for another time. Another place. A night when they weren’t the guests of honor at their own party and everyone would be wondering where they were. Now was about sex. Rough and raw. Pure and primal. Now was about making her truly his.

  “Are you wet for me, babe?” His hand dropped to his belt and he worked at the buckle.

  “So wet.”

  “Are you hot?” The buckle gave way and he tore open his fly.

  “So hot.”

  “Legs on my shoulders.” He pulled a condom from his pocket and ripped it open with his teeth, then sheathed himself as she positioned herself, calves on his shoulders, her glistening pussy wet and inviting.

  “Now,” she demanded.

  He entered her with one hard thrust, his hands around her thighs, holding her in place. Dawn arched against him, rocked into his rhythm, her hands clenched tight on the lip of the desk.

  “God, you feel so good.”

  The desk squeaked across the floor as he hammered into her. When he felt the little quivers in her sex that told him she was close, he traced his thumb over her clit, spreading her moisture up and around until her legs tightened around him and her heels dug into his freshly dressed wound. Pleasure-pain suffused his body and he felt a familiar pressure at the base of his spine.

  The doorknob rattled and Cade froze. “Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Not again. Someone’s gonna die.”

  “Hey you two,” Tank yelled. “Come outta there and join the party, or else we’re coming in.”

  Cade heard laughter and the sound of voices. His cock throbbed so painfully his eyes watered. “Fuck off.”

  “Maybe we should…”

  He thrust deep and Dawn’s back arched. “Oh God. So close. Make them go away.”

  “Pleasure.” Cade reached across the desk for his gun. Sex with his old lady was serious business. Not to be disturbed. Especially when he was so damn close he had to grit his teeth against the pain.

  “No. I didn’t mean—”

  He fired at the door, aiming his shots at the ceiling. A woman screamed. The brothers gathered outside the door roared with laughter.

  “Catch you at a bad time, brother?” Sparky shouted. “We need to know if you’re fighting at the next fight.”

  “This is worse than a civilian wedding,” Dawn muttered. “Although we’re supposed to be in a fancy hotel room when we’re hazed.”

  Cade placed the gun on the table beside her. “My woman doesn’t get interrupted when she’s about to come.”

  “That’s sweet, in a terrifying-ruthless-biker-I’ll-be-totally-humiliated-when-we-walk-out of-here kinda way.”

  “Fucking me is not humiliating. Most of the girls out there would die to take your place.”

  Dawn glanced from side to side, taking in the dingy room, and then laughed. “First of all, I am reassured that you do not suffer from a lack of self-confidence. Second, how about you get on with the program? Since they all now know what we’re up to, we might as well enjoy it so I can lord it over all those girls who are dying to take my place. And third, if you do any more shooting, someone probably will die.”

  He wasn’t sure if she was joking, but he would be damn proud if she wanted to share just how hard he made her come. After all, he might have an old lady, but he still had a rep to protect.

  “C’mon, old man. Keep up.”

  With a growl, he pulled out and slid deep inside her. He slicked her juices up and around her clit until her hips bucked against him and her cheeks flushed. His balls tightened, lifted, and he pressed hard on her clit. “That’s it, babe. Come with me.”

  Dawn threw an arm over her mouth and climaxed, muffling her scream as her pussy clamped around him. Cade hammered into her until his body stiffened. He gripped her hard and climaxed in long hot heated jerks, listening to his old lady moan with pleasure.

  “Not bad for an old man,” she murmured.

  He collapsed on top of her, taking his weight on his arms. “I aim to please.”

  Dawn tunneled her hand through his hair. “So you liked my present?”

  “Best present I ever got.” He nuzzled her neck. “But I like what’s inside the present better.”

  “We should get back to the party or your brothers are going to break down the door. What fight were they talking about?”

  “We hold fights on the last Saturday of every month at the clubhouse with our key support clubs. Mandatory attendance. Get a fire going, barbecue, coupla cold ones, old ladies and sweet butts…”

  “I usually work on Saturdays.”


  He wanted her there. He wanted her to watch him fight. His woman should see his strength and rest assured he could defeat anyone who challenged him. Or threatened her. “Take if off.”

  She gave him a tight smile. “I need the money so I can see the girls.”

  He withdrew to dispose of the condom. When he turned back, she was already off the desk, her dress in her hand. Frustrated that their moment of intimacy had been so brief, he dressed in silence. But when they were both ready to go, he leaned against the door.

  “I got money…”

  “I don’t want your money. I earn enough to pay Shelly-Ann and my expenses and save up for when the girls come home.” She hesitated. “They are coming home, right? That was the deal.”

  Cade shifted his weight and rubbed his palms on his jeans, unaccustomed to asking for anything, and especially something he desperately wanted. “Yeah. I talked to Jagger after the meeting. He’s gonna speak to Wolf as a courtesy to let him know what’s going down. But the fight … you got an obligation as my old lady to be there.”

  “I have on obligation to my children, Cade. They come first.” She straightened her clothes and ran her fingers through her hair. “I’m sure you’ll be amazing.”

  When his brow creased, she looked away and bit her bottom lip. “I thought you’d be happy. We both benefit from his arrangement and the sex is hot. But I’m not looking to tie you down, and I don’t want to get too involved with the club.”

  His hand fisted by his side. He knew her well enough to know she wasn’t being entirely truthful with him. This wasn’t just about sex to her. She cared enough to bring Hegel to check his back, and to dress up tonight; she’d opened up to him outside her house. And those little glimpses into who she really was made him greedy for more. He figured her hesitation stemmed from a lingering fear of Jimmy. But if she came to the fight, he could show her he could protect her. He had ten straight wins under his belt. Maybe then she wouldn’t run away.

  “I want you there.”

  She gripped the purse in her hand so hard her knuckles tightened, and when she looked up the pain in her eyes shocked him. “I can’t handle the violence, Cade. Okay? Is that what you want to hear? Trust doesn’t come easily to me. And the way I feel about you scares me. The things you do scare me. If I have to see you actually fight in the ring, I don’t think I’ll be able to trust you not to hurt me. Every time I’ve trusted someone I’ve been hurt and betrayed, and I don’t want to feel that way about you.”

  “Every time?”

  She hesitated and dropped her gaze. “It wasn’t just Jimmy.”

  His body went taut, blood heating through his veins. Jesus Christ. His girl just couldn’t catch a break. “Who?”

  “After my parents died in a car crash, I was sent to live with my uncle. I didn’t have any other living relatives. He … touched me. At first, I thought he was just comforting me. Then he wanted more. He wanted me to show my gratitude for his care. I didn’t know what to do or where to go. I was lonely and lost. I didn’t have any friends or family in Seattle, and I was afraid if I told someone, I would have no one. So I endured it for a year until my fifteenth birthday when he made it clear touching wasn’t enough.”

  Cade couldn’t move for the pounding of his heart. If he’d ever thought his life had no purpose, he had a path now. First, Mad Dog. Then the uncle. Then every other person who had ever hurt his girl.

  “That night when he came to my bedroom, I grabbed my bedside lamp and knocked him out. Then I ran away with my purse and the clothes on my back. I didn’t even take a picture of my parents with me. I took a bus out of state and got off in Helena when my money ran out. For a while, I lived with in an abandoned building with a group of street kids, and when my luck ran out and a pimp decided to add me to his stable, I met Jimmy.”

  “Never again.” His seething brain couldn’t form the words he knew she needed to hear. The murmurs of sympathy and understanding. The words of consolation. He couldn’t even touch her, because if he did he would never let her go. Her pain was his pain. Her past was his future.

  “It’s okay, Cade. It’s over. It was one more lesson about how to survive and fight for what I want. I don’t waste any time thinking about it.”

  Fucking hell. What a woman. All the fucking abuse she suffered, and she owned it.

  “You’re the only person I’ve ever told.”

  “Means everything to me,” he said. “Tells me everything I need to know.”

  “What do you know?”

  He crossed the distance between them and took her in his arms. “I know I never met a woman as strong and smart and beautiful as you are. Never met a better mom than you, doing so much for your kids with so much damn love it fucking shines around you. Never met anyone I wanted to share the worst part of my life with. And I never had a woman give me a present that made me want to ditch my own party so I could spend the night showing her how much it was appreciated.”

  “I bought two presents.” She went up on her toes and kissed him, her voice a breathy whisper. “One naughty. One nice.”

  His tongue parted her lips and he thrust inside, consuming her. The world melted away until there was only Dawn, her soft body pressed up against him, her fingers threading through her hair, his hard length between them, and her hot, wet mouth on his.

  “Please tell me this is the naughty one ’cause I’m fucking hard all over again.”

  Dawn feathered kisses up his neck and along his jaw, and then she pressed her lips to his ear. “Cade, honey, this is the nice one.”

  FOURTEEN

  I will wear the symbols of brotherhood with pride.

  SINNER’S TRIBE CREED

  Dawn placed the steaming plate of bacon and eggs on her tray and lifted it from the counter. The diner was unusually quiet this morning so the cooks had been overly generous with the portions. Stan wouldn’t be pleased. He was only just back from a vacation he’d decided to take the day after Cade visited the restaurant and things had slipped in his absence.

  “Table three wants more coffee.” He came up behind Dawn, his belly brushing against her back as he reached for the coffeepot. Dawn cringed. Despite Cade’s warning, nothing had changed. Or maybe, it had. She felt different today. Although she needed the job, she wasn’t prepared to sacrifice her self-worth to keep it, or to tolerate any disrespect.

  Just like a Sinner.

  She spun around and shoved Stan away. “Back off.”

  Stan’s mouth dropped open and he took a step back. She’d never warned him off so forcefully before, but today the words slipped out before she could stop them.

  “I like working here, Stan. This is the only restaurant close to the school and you’ve been very accommodating by letting me take my morning break during our busy time so I can see my girls. And of course, I need the money. But all this touching has to stop. Whether it is accidental or intentional, I don’t like it, and if you touch me again, I’m going to break your arm.”

  She didn’t know if she could, in fact, break his arm, although Doug had taught arm bars in his self-defense class and she figured if she twisted hard enough, it just might break. But it sounded good and it felt even better. Resolved. Like she was holding a loaded gun. Maybe if she showed that kind of attitude to Shelly-Ann she wouldn’t be hiding under trees wearing a wig to see her own kids. And she wouldn’t be forking out all her extra cash so Shelly-Ann could drive a Cadillac while she had to take her girls around on the bus.

  The front door slammed open and the little bell in the doorframe tinkled. She looked up and smiled when Doug walked into the restaurant, still riding the high from making Stan back down.

  “I’ll take table six.” She gestured Doug to an empty booth in the corner and joined him a few moments later.

  “Hey, Doug. You’re looking good.” He always looked better in civilian clothes than in uniform, and today he was clean-shaven and all decked out in a blue-and-white-striped shirt with crisp blue jeans—the kind of jeans Cade would never
wear. Her mouth watered at the thought of Cade’s worn, low-rise jeans, tight in all the right places, and she almost missed Doug’s next words.

  “You missed our monthly drinks last night. And you didn’t return my calls. I was worried about you. After what happened at your house…”

  Damn. She’d totally forgotten about the monthly meet-up with her self-defense class. After moving to Conundrum, she’d taken the course as part of a therapy program to get over Jimmy’s abuse, and made some close, supportive friends, including Doug. After the course finished, Doug suggested a monthly drinks night to stay in touch, and Dawn had never missed a night.

  “I’m so sorry. I totally forgot. I was at … a party.” She couldn’t bring herself to tell him she’d spent the night becoming Cade’s old lady in more ways than one.

  “Good to hear you’re getting out.” He fiddled with the napkin on the table. “I thought maybe you’d turned to the dark side and joined the Sinners. Your friend Cade can be pretty overbearing. Kinda like Jimmy.”

  Ouch. That stung. And so unlike Doug she almost couldn’t believe he’d said it. Sharp barbs were so not Doug’s style.

  “He’s nothing like Jimmy.” Aside from the violence, beatings, and torture that seemed to be as much a part of Sinner life as it was with the Brethren. But the violence was directed outside the club, not in.

  Doug clasped Dawn’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “I came to see you this morning because I’ve got some exciting news. We’ve been through the tapes from the bus shelter and the sheriff agrees we have enough evidence to charge Jimmy for assault. When we bring him in, we’ll question him about the break-in as well.”

  “That’s great.” She smiled through clenched teeth while her stomach twisted in a knot. What had she been thinking? There was no way the police would be able to hold Jimmy. Once he was out on bail, he’d come for her, and he would show no mercy. Where would the police be then? According him due process while she bled out on the floor? Although she hated to admit it, the biker system worked better. There was no presumption of innocence, no proof beyond a reasonable doubt. There were no long delays before trial, plea bargains, or paying off judges. Jimmy did something bad, Jimmy was punished. End of story.