Beyond Reason (Beyond Love Series #3)

by Bolton, Karice

  The look in Austin’s eyes was like a wounded animal, and my chest tightened as I watched him. The complete arrogance from only minutes before was completely wiped away as he watched me.

  “I deserve that. Listen, I’m sorry. This is just a lot for me to handle. I thought I was fine with seeing you again, but it’s shaking up all of the old resentments and feelings that I wasn’t expecting. All I can do is apologize and hope you’ll let me show you the real me.”

  “I keep waiting for that to happen, but you keep changing it up on me,” I laughed nervously. “And I honestly don’t think I can keep up any longer.”

  “From this moment on, no games. I promise. Just trust me. I don’t want you leaving Utah thinking I’m a complete creep,” he continued.

  “Just a partial creep?”

  “No creep at all.”

  “We’ll see about that,” I laughed, as I grabbed the flower and stood up. “Well, let’s get back on the hill so that I don’t forget what you’ve taught me.”

  He nodded, standing up and making his way over to where I was, and he slid his hand along my waist, and I kind of liked it. Even with everything.

  “At least, I’m learning some good snowboarding techniques,” I said, as we walked outside.

  “I’m more than just a snowboard instructor,” he said, grabbing his board off the stand.

  “Only time will tell, my friend,” I teased. The uneasiness from before slowly dissipated as we walked to the mid-mountain ski lift. I anchored my butt on the seat as we were whisked up the mountain.

  “I will make it off the lift this time,” I vowed.

  “Only time will tell,” he replied.

  I rolled my eyes at him and wondered if I was making things a bigger deal than they were. What was I expecting him to do? Yell at Stephanie and make a scene?

  He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him as I watched the hillside glide by. I couldn’t deny the familiar sensation that his embrace aroused, or how his body felt against mine. Maybe, that was what was holding me to an idea that there was something more behind his charades. But matters of the heart were never easy, and the same man that helped me through everything years ago was still inside. I just had to dig him out and make him stay.

  His lips pressed against my knit cap, and I felt the slightest of kisses on top my head as we came to the unloading area. He released his arm from me and gave me a quick nod.

  “You’ve got this,” he said, standing up as his board hit the snow.

  I quickly followed and guided my board down the tiny hill and out of the way, landing next to him with great satisfaction and relief.

  “Nicely done.” He grinned and adjusted his goggles.

  “Thank you. It’s because of your superb teaching skills.”

  His eyes met mine, and I didn’t detect any of the game playing I’d experienced earlier.

  “Ready?” he asked.

  I nodded and slowly followed him across and down the mountain, working on stopping and turning. Every so often, he would stop and wait for me or give me pointers, but I could definitely tell I had improved tremendously. He flagged me over to a snack bar and I followed. We’d been on the mountain another couple hours and I’d already mustered up quite the appetite again. Quickly releasing my feet from my board, I followed him over to the line.

  “I’m buying,” I said, jumping in front of him. “What do you want?”

  “I’ll take a polish dog and tots.” His smile anchored me in place as I remembered back to the many times before when that same smile stopped me in my tracks, made me forget myself and my problems.

  “Do you remember that one time we went camping?” I asked.

  “When we almost floated away in our tent? Yeah. Hard to forget,” he laughed, as I placed our order and paid.

  His laughter sounded right—not like earlier today—and I hoped I could make it last this time. I liked this side of Austin. It was the Austin I remembered.

  I walked over to grab some napkins and was pleasantly surprised to feel Austin’s arms wrap around me and tug me into him.

  “The best part of camping was getting to spend time with you,” he whispered.

  “Even though all of our stuff was drenched, you didn’t want to go home,” I laughed. “You put our things in the car with the heater on full blast to dry the stuff out, rather than just call it quits.”

  “It was worth it, wasn’t it?” he asked, as he spun me around in his arms.

  I looked up into his eyes and nodded. “Yeah. That was a special time.”

  I felt the familiar ache in my chest as my mind drifted to the memories I had spent so much time forcing out. I ruined what we once had and now expected things to fall magically into place? Who was I kidding?

  “Remember when we went hiking and got lost?” I teased.

  “We weren’t actually lost,” he confessed.

  “What do you mean? We went in circles like three times.”

  “That’s because I kept telling you to go the wrong way so we could spend a little more time together.”

  “Are you serious?” I smacked him just as our order was called.

  “Take a seat and I’ll go grab everything,” he said, grinning.

  And for once, this felt right between us. But I couldn’t help but wonder if that was enough? Was having a sense of history enough to anchor two lives together?

  “Small world,” Stephanie’s voice interrupted my peace as she plunked down in front of me.

  All I did was sigh as I glanced over at Austin. “So it looked like you two were getting cozy. I thought that wasn’t what this was about.” Her brows furrowed as she waited for a response.

  I didn’t say a word, but watched as Austin quietly walked up behind her.

  “He’s not ready for a relationship. Anyone who meets him knows that. But I’ll do my damndest to be sure I’m the one there when he’s ready. You got that?”

  “Is that so, Steph?” Austin’s voice shocked her back to reality. “I had no idea I was so easy to read.”

  He placed the tray on the table and stood next to me. “I think it’s time for you to get back on your board before you make even more of a fool of yourself.”

  “You didn’t hear what she said to me first,” she hissed, standing up so quickly the tots tipped over on the tray. I quickly rewound what just transpired and realized I hadn’t said anything. But it wasn’t worth giving her a rebuttal.

  “It doesn’t really matter what she said to you. I heard enough.” His eyes fell to mine, and I realized the games had finally ended.

  “So is it everything and more?” Ayden teased, as everyone else settled in the kitchen, laughing and talking over one another, while Ayden and I were setting the table for dinner. I hadn’t expected that line of questioning, joke or not. I glanced up at him and grinned.

  “Things feel really…” I stopped myself.

  What did things feel? Familiar and comforting, possibly? Not out of this world, but that wouldn’t be very realistic…

  “Things are great,” I said, placing a fork at the head of the table.

  Ayden stopped moving along the table and his eyes steadied on mine. “I wasn’t sure with everything this afternoon—”

  “You mean everyone?” I laughed. “Yeah, that wasn’t the highlight of my day. But things got tremendously better after she left.”

  Ayden’s jaw tightened as he dropped his gaze. “How so?”

  “He apologized, and when she reappeared again on the mountain, he stuck up for me.” Once I uttered the words, I felt completely embarrassed. That really wasn’t that praiseworthy of behavior. “Anyway, he’s been pretty honest with me, and I’m surprised he’s even talking to me. I’m just taking things one step at a time and enjoying his company. Sooo, that’s the Austin update.” I felt completely awkward talking to Ayden about today’s events, and I wasn’t sure if it was because he could see through me or if I felt judged, which was something we both promised we wouldn’t do.
<
br />   “And you’re enjoying his company?” Ayden’s voice was husky as he shifted the place setting.

  “Yeah. Very much so.”

  “Lasagna, baked ziti, hot dogs, and potato salad coming up,” Gabby’s voice rang out as she carried a large dish into the eating area.

  I started laughing. “Hot dogs and potato salad?”

  “Sorry. It’s me,” Sammie said, grinning and raising her hand as she walked into the eating area. “My appetite’s been off recently.”

  Brandy and Gabby started laughing, and I realized I was completely missing some inside joke thanks to a day with Austin.

  “Let’s eat,” Ayden said, clapping his hands so loudly I jumped. “Little nervous?”

  I rolled my eyes and sat down in the chair closest to me as Jason, Mason, and Aaron carried in the rest of the food. Brandy followed behind holding two bottles of wine and placed them on the table while everyone took their seat.

  “I think hot dogs sound like the perfect appetizer,” I said, grinning at Sammie. Ayden sat next to her, which was only logical, but watching the care he took with her took me by surprise, and I looked away quickly. It felt like I was intruding.

  “So did we scare Austin away?” Jason laughed, hopping back up from his seat. “I forgot the garlic bread. Be right back.”

  “Nope. He had some vendor meeting tonight.” I scooped up a big spoonful of ziti and plopped it on my plate and grabbed a hot dog. Never too old to try new things, I guess.

  “That’s too bad,” Mason replied, grinning. “I was kind of hoping he could be our entertainment for the evening.”

  “You’re as bad as your brother,” I laughed.

  “No. I’m way worse,” he laughed, and I glanced at Ayden who was talking quietly with Sammie.

  “Thank god he had a meeting then.” I scowled lovingly at Mason.

  “We heard there was some female with you guys?” Gabby asked, obviously unimpressed.

  “Female?” I laughed. “Yeah. There was an extra female. And you heard that from Ayden, I assume.”

  “Nope. Sammie filled us in,” Brandy replied.

  “What’d I do?” Sammie asked, breaking away from her conversation with Ayden.

  “You told us about the SWF hanging around Austin and Lily,” Brandy replied.

  “That I did, but I don’t think I used Craigslist terminology,” Sammie said, decorating her hotdog.

  “That seems really rude,” Brandy replied, looking at Gabby for backing.

  “It does. We didn’t haul you down here to be mistreated.”

  “Guys, I wasn’t mistreated. She’s just some friend of Austin’s who happened to be grabbing lunch at the same time as us so she took a seat,” I assured them.

  “If it was no big deal, then why were you ready to bolt?” Ayden smirked and I wanted to punch him. He really could see right through me.

  “Okay, well. She wasn’t a very friendly friend. And she seems to feel she’s got ownership rights on Austin once his lease is up, but—”

  “You’re making excuses for a guy that…” Ayden started.

  “Sshh.” Sammie motioned for Ayden to calm down. “Love is a complex emotion.”

  “I’m not in love with him,” I spurted out. “He’s just a friend.”

  Surprised by my own reaction, my cheeks warmed as Ayden’s gaze met mine. A flicker of intensity shot through his eyes as he watched me, and a slight smile tucked behind his lips. I felt that charge of electricity run between us and immediately became flooded with guilt. My eyes broke from his, and I glanced at Sammie. Whatever feelings were churning up inside of me were completely inappropriate and uncalled for. I was sure I was misreading Ayden’s expression.

  “You guys make a really cute couple,” I said, hoping to switch the topic away from me.

  Deflection time!

  “Oh, we aren’t a couple,” Sammie said, her eyes wide as she stared back at me. “We’re just friends.”

  “I thought you guys dated?” I asked.

  Ayden scooted back from the table. “Anyone want some more water? I’m gonna go grab some.”

  Everyone shook their heads as we all stared at Sammie, except for Mason. Mason just continued to shovel food in his mouth with a big dopey smile.

  “Been there, done that. Won’t be doing it again,” she laughed. “Don’t get me wrong. He’s a great guy…”

  “What?” I asked, unable to hide my surprise.

  “Completely platonic,” she said, giving me a quick wink.

  My mouth betrayed me by plastering a smile on my lips. “Well, never say never,” I offered.

  “Oh, I don’t think my soon-to-be baby’s daddy would be all too thrilled with that kind of surprise.”

  My eyes fell to her flat stomach, and her empty ring finger before rising quickly back to her gaze.

  “You are…” I replied. “But you don’t…”

  Sammie smiled. “Three months along. This was my last time to snowboard before it became unsafe so I thought it would be a fun trip. Plus, it would keep my mind off the fact that I miss my guy, Mario. My fiancé is over in Italy settling some affairs before he comes over and we start nesting.”

  “Wow. You look amazing.”

  “It’s the hotdogs. They do wonders for the complexion. All the preservatives. But I haven’t been able to wear my engagement ring since my fingers bloated up last week. I don’t know if they’ll deflate or not,” she said, glancing down at her manicured hand.

  Ayden came in with a freshly-filled glass of water and slid back onto his chair.

  “So when did you tell Ayden the good news?” I asked. My brow arched at Ayden as he stiffened in his chair. Mason started laughing. Twins could be so annoying.

  “That party you hired me for, actually,” she said, patting his shoulder. “And thanks by the way. That was kind of my last hoorah before the baby.”

  “You were perfect for it. It was my last hoorah at the firm too,” I laughed.

  “Oh, yeah. Ayden mentioned that,” she said, her gaze shifting playfully to Ayden.

  “So, how did Ayden and you meet?” Jason asked, completely amused with the situation.

  “Oh, you don’t want to hear about that,” Ayden said, as he grabbed a slice of lasagna and placed it on his plate.

  “Oh, but I think we do,” Brandy agreed.

  “I’ll second that,” Gabby laughed.

  “Well, the table has spoken,” Sammie laughed. “Sorry, buddy.”

  I looked down at my plate and felt a pulse of excitement and jubilation course through my veins. For what in particular, I wasn’t sure.

  “We really don’t have to go into details,” Ayden replied, staring at Sammie. His lips were pressed together, and he turned in his chair to plead with her. But he was going to lose. Sammie had already made up her mind. I really liked her!

  “You’re only making us want to know the story even more now,” I hushed Ayden.

  “So when I was still in college, some guy propositioned me to try out modeling,” she began. “It wasn’t really modeling but whatever.”

  Please tell me that wasn’t Ayden. This sounded far too creepy.

  “I was on campus and apparently there was some underground fighting club that needed girls.”

  “To hold up the cards,” Mason interjected.

  I glanced over at him and he shrunk into his seat and laughed. “Not that I’d know.”

  “Like Fight Club?” I asked.

  Sammie laughed. “Not quite. But you’d have to ask Ayden the behind-the-scene specifics.”

  My stomach knotted, but I couldn’t pelt all the questions I had at Sammie because she kept going.

  “Anyway, the first night I showed up to some secret location and was given a skimpy bikini to wear. It was so awful with its hot pink glittery sequins sewn all over it. Completely classy. The guy that found me explained that all I had to do was walk through the makeshift ring between rounds, holding up the poster. The money was amazing, and I just gave up a couple
hours once a week. They were really paying me for my silence, but I didn’t figure that out right away.”

  “So that’s where we met,” Ayden interrupted, pouring some wine into his glass.

  “I don’t buy it,” Aaron replied. “There’s definitely more to the story.”

  “Oh, there is,” Sammie assured us, grinning.

  Ayden looked completely uncomfortable, and I almost felt sorry for him, but I was far too nosey to let my sympathy get in the way. I didn’t want to stop this train!

  “It was my second week on the job, and when the fighters were announced, I glanced over and saw Ayden. He didn’t look like any of the other fighters I’d seen, and his smile was so endearing.”

  “Wait what?” Brandy and I both shot back.

  I glanced at Ayden, and his lips were pressed together, his arms folded in front of him as if he was bracing himself.

  “You were a fighter?” Brandy asked, her voice a click higher than normal.

  Ayden’s eyes bounced to mine, and then met his sister’s as he nodded.

  “Did you know about this?” Brandy demanded, staring at Mason who also gave her a slight nod.

  Somehow this admission stirred something completely carnal inside of me. As if I wasn’t having a hard enough time keeping Ayden in the friend zone, this latest revelation made it almost impossible. I wanted to find out more about this side of Ayden.

  “How come you don’t have any scars?” I asked.

  “I’m good,” he replied flatly, his jaw tense.

  “Anyway, I didn’t think much of it. I’d seen how girls completely threw themselves at the fighters, and I thought it was kind of gross, but Ayden didn’t seem to be into any of that. He just showed up, did his job, and left,” Sammie continued. “It was like the fourth or fifth time I worked the event, and some guy was hassling me. I had just changed into my outfit, and this really creepy guy followed me down the long, empty hall to the restroom. When I came back out of the bathroom, my heart raced once I saw that the guy was still there. The guy pushed me up against the concrete wall and wouldn’t let me go. Before I knew it, Ayden came out of nowhere and stepped in to end it. And boy did he end it.”