It Always Rains in November

by Richard Hoffman

  As he heard her say, “I’ll see you later” and hang up, he blundered into the bedroom.

  “Alright, Char?”

  “Nathan, fuckoff, I’m on a private call here.”

  “Not cheating on my bruv Michael, are you?”

  Charlotte looked at him with antipathy.

  “No course not. I’ve finished. I’m going back downstairs. What are you doing up here anyway?”

  “Looking for the bog.”

  Charlotte walked towards the door but Nathan was standing in the way.

  “Well, it’s not here. It’s next door.”

  “I don’t need to go yet. I’ll stay and jam with you instead, Char.”

  “We can chat downstairs. Not here.”

  Charlotte tried to push past but Nathan wasn’t finished with her yet. He placed himself inches from her. She looked a bit scared. He just wanted the truth.

  “Did you tell Faye about me and Kelly?”

  “No, I promise you, Nathan. It wasn’t me.” Charlotte paused, looked at him for a few seconds, sat down on the bed, and calmer, explained what she knew. “Faye told me we were seen by Kim and Becky at the college open day. They texted Kelly and told her you were cheating on her. Then she forwarded a load of your texts to Faye.”

  “So it wasn’t you?”

  Charlotte snapped back at him.

  “No, Nathan. It was you. You’re the cheat. You treated Faye like shit.”

  Nathan took another gulp of his lager and looked round. Loads of photos on the wall. He took a closer look at a photo of a group of them at Chessington in the Summer, just before he got off with Faye. As he moved away from the door, Charlotte could have left the room, but she didn’t. She stayed sat on the bed. He turned and looked at her transparent top. Black bra and big tits for a thin girl. She was chung. He took another swig of lager.

  “Maybe if I had the right girlfriend, I’d treat her right.”

  “Yeah maybe Nath, maybe one day you’ll be faithful.”

  He looked her up and down approvingly.

  “I did used to think that one day, me and you would…”

  “Forget it, Nathan, I’m with Michael. He’s your best mate, remember?”

  But Nathan was on a roll.

  “You’re looking...” He sat next to her. She must be up for it. She hadn’t left the bedroom.

  “Nathan…”

  “Y’know I’ve always fancied you.”

  Both stopped on hearing Michael’s voice from the stairs.

  “Charlotte, you up there?”

  “Coming, babe.” And then whispered to Nathan, “I’m not leaving you alone in my bedroom. Go to the bog now before he comes up.”

  Nathan left and emptied the contents of the first lager can in the toilet. He heard Michael coming up the stairs and the lovers jamming.

  “I thought you were outside having a fag.”

  “Too cold, babe, so I went in my bedroom.”

  “Thought I heard you talking though.”

  “Yeah, I was on the phone.”

  “Who to?”

  “Faye.”

  “Nathan’s Faye?”

  “What other Faye do we know?”

  “What did she say? Did she say why she locked it with Nath?”

  “You can ask her yourself. She’s coming over.”

  * * *

  Nathan persuaded Jamie and Duayne to give up their lagers. He needed them more than they did now. Slumped on the floor, he began thinking about his dad. His mum said he was a pisshead and a cheat. Seemed like he was his dad’s son after all. But he had never met him – or at least couldn’t remember. Must be in the genes. Fuck it. Faye was here. She came in the living room. Maybe he could blag it. Everybody had stopped what they were doing to look round at her, and then at him.

  “What’s ... Faye! You’re here, you’ve come back to me,” Nathan slurred, an innocent look on his face.

  “In your dreams...wanker.”

  Charlotte put her arm around Faye and began leading her upstairs.

  “What’s going on here? Faye, you and me need to talk. We can sort this out between us.”

  The girls kept on walking but Faye called over her shoulder.

  “A bit too late for chat, Nathan. Go talk to your slag instead.”

  Nathan moved to follow them but Mark held him back by grabbing his arm.

  “Leave it, Nathan. Let Charlotte sort it out. You want to wait until you’re not pissed.”

  Nathan swung his elbow back to release Mark’s grip.

  “Get the fuck off me!”

  His flailing elbow caught Mark on the nose. It started bleeding. Mark held his face and the others, who had not had a good enough view to judge intention, were quick to spring to Mark’s defence.

  “You’re a dickhead man; he was only trying to help,” Billy remonstrated with Nathan.

  Nathan had been about to apologise to Mark but Billy wound him up.

  “He wasn’t helping. He probably thinks he can get his dick in there himself,” he laughed.

  “Nathan, you’re a fucking pwick!”

  “Oh shut the fuck up, Jamie. It’s me that’s been locked. If you lot had ever had a woman, you might know what you’re on about. Virginal tossers.”

  Nathan took the final swig of his fifth can. He had nothing else to say and was grateful that Michael stepped in to try to defuse the hostility, leaping to his best mate’s defence.

  “Fucking hell, Nathan’s been dumped. He didn’t mean to hit Mark, but you’re all making it worse, having a pop at him when he’s just locked it with Faye.”

  At that point, Faye and Charlotte returned and stood in the living room doorway. The others looked on as if they had front row seats at a live gig. Nathan glanced around the room. Mark had a tissue up his nose. He’d been a bit of a pussy over a small bleed. Nathan needed another piss but that would have to wait. Faye had an announcement to make.

  “I didn’t dump him for no reason,” she announced to the assembled throng. “He two-timed me with Kelly Taylor.”

  “It was a mistake, Faye. It only happened the once,” Nathan pleaded.

  Michael, remembering his bud’s bragging about the number of times that he had sex with Kelly, couldn’t help a grin at this point. Nathan noticed but knew his mate wouldn’t grass him up. Everyone else was listening intently to the conversation. Nathan reckoned that if they were completely honest, most of the lads were jealous. Whilst most of them only came near to buff girls in their wet dreams, he had been at it with two cute girls at the same time.

  Still, they were pissed off with him. He wished he hadn’t drunk most of the booze, hit Mark and lied to them over Faye. Labelling his mates “virginal tossers” hadn’t helped him much. Even so, five cans or not, he could take any of them on if he had to.

  Mutterings and insults were flung at Nathan’s direction from the crowd.

  “You cheated on her, and lied to us!”

  “We let you dwink all the cans coz we felt sowwy for you.”

  “My fucking nose still hurts.”

  “He’s a lying bastard, like all boys.”

  The last one was from Hannah.

  Charlotte decided that enough was enough.

  “Look, Nathan, I want Faye to stay after what you’ve done to her. So could you go please?”

  Only Michael remained as an ally.

  “Faye can stay if she wants, but Nathan’s been part of the crew long before Faye. Anyway J, I didn’t hear you and Mark complaining about Nathan when he was chattin’ up Kim and Kelly the other day. Happy to go along with him then, weren’t you? Didn’t hear you two tellin’ him not to cheat on Faye then.”

  Nathan looked at Faye. She’d been a bitch coming round to wreck it for him with his mates, but she didn’t appear to be enjoying his humiliation.

  “No, it’s fine, Char. I’ll go,” she muttered.

  Now she was playing the martyr. Mark forgot abou
t his sore nose.

  “You can’t walk home on your own, Faye. I’ll come with you.”

  Mark was gagging for her. Nathan couldn’t resist a crack.

  “His tongue’s hanging out and you can see his hard on from here,” he sneered.

  Michael laughed and Charlotte rounded on him.

  “No, don’t go, Faye. I don’t know why you’re laughing with him, Michael. You wouldn’t if you knew that…” she broke off and reddened.

  “Knew what, Char?”

  Charlotte looked at Nathan, then at Faye. She straightened her shoulders and fixed on Michael.

  “When I went upstairs to phone Faye, Nathan came upstairs and interrupted us, and tried it on with me.”

  Michael rounded on his mate. “Nathan, you got something to say?”

  Nathan wasn’t going to allow the lager control his gob for this one. Michael was his best mate and he and Charlotte had been friends for years. It was true he had made a move on her but he’d sobered up and she could have ignored it. He thought about implying that Charlotte had encouraged him. Michael’s insecurity would have soon ended their relationship but Nathan was not prepared to do that and decided to be honest.

  “I did say something, but it was a joke. She took it the wrong way. That’s all, mate, honest.”

  Charlotte’s lip curled in abhorrence.

  “Oh, what? Like I misunderstood you telling me that I looked good and that you’ve always fancied me?”

  “It was the drink talking, that’s all,” Nathan argued, looking round at the hostile faces. He was completely on his ones.

  “We’re supposed to be best mates, Nathan.” Michael pushed him but before he could react, Charlotte was shouting at him.

  “You’d better go, Nathan. Go on, get out.”

  Encouraged by the unanimity, Billy and Mark pushed Nathan towards the door. General shouts of “Fuck off Nathan” and “Get out now” drowned out anything he might have responded with.

  Nathan stood outside Charlotte’s house. Pushed out by his supposed mates. And it was starting to piss down. Fucking weather, why does it always rain in November? What happened to his so called mates’ sympathy after Faye locked it with him? And he could have told Michael that Charlotte was definitely thinking about lipsin him before Michael interrupted them. He hadn’t even told them that he was going to have to see them at school the next day. No girlfriend, no mates and going back to school. Fucking arseholes!

  Nathan saw a half broken brick and contemplated throwing it through Charlotte’s window. That would show the cunts. But then he thought of a more subtle plan. He pulled out his mobile phone and dialled 999. Once connected to the police, he proceeded to explain that there was a party going on in a house in Waddon where a large quantity of drugs was being consumed.

  Sergeant Ellam was the local officer despatched to deal with the complaint.

  Chapter 26

  Wednesday 10th November – The exes meet

  Marie and Louis were sat in their Crouts bunker. Their processors were working, and their intellects were optimised to exploit opportunities, but the data was not forthcoming.

  “This is painful, Marie. Three days here, and we’ve hardly started.”

  “Richard Horton’s resignation hasn’t helped. We only have purchases data from Janice Richardson. It’s not nearly enough, and ....”

  “I thought you were going to see Jeffrey whatisface. I’m sure he’d ...”

  “He’s gone off on holiday. Remember, we heard that story about him being on the phone, pacifying his wife, coz one of his daughters brought home a black boyfriend? Well, his secretary told me that they’ve gone away because Mrs Parker needed a break after being traumatised by a black man at their home.”

  Louis gasped in disbelief.

  “What? You’re joking.”

  “No, it’s for real. When I met him, I felt sorry for his wife but they deserve each other. His 100 year old secretary isn’t much better. She said to me, ‘the coloured man must have tried to burgle their house.’ This place is like going back in time. Colonial right wingers rule.”

  “They belong in the Dark Ages. Geddit?”

  “Not funny, Louis. People like that should be shot. And you know what this means?”

  “Go on.”

  “We can’t sit here doing nothing. I’ll have to phone the creepy Miller bloke. He’s our only key contact now.”

  * * *

  Sitting at his three supervisor workstation with Janice and Marion, it was different for Carl now. His girlfriend was sat next to him, as opposed to his colleague. How was he supposed to act? He opted to try and behave as he had done on Monday, before they became an item. Did Janice feel weird? And Marion? Nobody else in the office had said anything so Marion must have kept it quiet. Martin knew, but he had no friends to gossip with. Talking of the cretin.

  “Carl, come in here, please.”

  Carl shook his head and rubbed his mouth to ensure that any mutterings remained unheard. He hated having orders bawled at him from twenty feet away, but at least Martin had said please. He walked in to his boss’s office, noticing that Miller’s PC was still switched off. Does this guy ever do any work himself?

  “Carl, how are you?”

  “Not great, Martin. Thanks to you.”

  Martin stared blankly at him.

  “You have to get over this, Carl. You are still a well paid member of this team and you have a lot to be grateful for. Do you know how many people we made redundant last year?”

  Carl responded with a rueful smile.

  “Fine. Make me redundant. I’ll get a payoff that way.”

  “Well, if you keep that attitude up that’s what will happen.”

  Carl had had enough of Martin’s threats. The pay freeze had been the final straw. He was sick of doing all of the work for none of the reward.

  “OK. Don’t care. Can I go now?”

  Martin leaned forward, maintaining an emotionless countenance.

  “Carl, an opportunity has arisen...”

  “For you, not for me,” Carl mumbled.

  “The auditors require a combination of system generated reports that you could extract by interrogating our financial systems,” Martin continued, as if he hadn’t heard. “You have the required knowledge of the company bespoke report writer.”

  “Yes, but you don’t. So you’re stuffed.” Carl sat back, triumphant. Couldn’t be too cocky, there were no arms on the chair he thought for a moment that he might fall off. Martin leaned forward wagging his finger at Carl.

  “Look, Carl, if you help me over this, I will make sure that Mr Parker looks favourably on your pay review in six months time.”

  “That’s not good enough, Martin. It’s always jam tomorrow with you. We both know you’ll take the credit for this. Get me a revised, decent pay review and I’ll consider it.”

  “Jeffrey’s on holiday now so I can’t do anything.” Martin stated, flatly. “You’ll have to wait until he returns.”

  Carl sat forward, and he joined in with the finger pointing.

  “You don’t get it, do you, Martin? I’ve had enough of you screwing me over. It’s not just the money. You make mistakes and blame me. I’ve had enough. Do your worst,” he paused before adding, “but if you fire me, I’ll see you in court.”

  Carl was pleased with himself, sticking it to his boss. It felt good. But now Martin was retaliating, continuing the finger pointing. Such a prat.

  “Carl, we aren’t equals here. I’m your boss and I’m telling you to produce this data.”

  Carl grinned at him. “You’re the boss. Try leading by example and do it yourself.”

  “I…I...”

  “You can’t, can you? So that’s it then. I’ve told you what I want. You owe me that much anyway.”

  “Get out of my office Carl,” Martin growled.

  “Fine.”

  Carl leapt from the tatty seat but Martin could not help issue
a further threat.

  “Your job is on the line, Carl. Remember that.”

  “And you remember that I don’t care. Like I said before, I’ll see you at the tribunal.”

  As Carl closed the door he laughed as his angry boss banged his fist down hard on his desk. Carl returned to his own desk smiling. Janice was waiting to find out what had been said.

  “Not often you come back from his office smiling. Has he given you a pay rise?”

  * * *

  When Janice knocked on the audit room door and gave Marie and Louis additional files, Marie was reminded of the previous day’s conversation, when Janice had described her as a pretty useless Mum and Carly as ‘awful, nasty and aggressive.’

  Louis left to copy the files and Janice sat down on the guest’s chair. Marie continued working. Janice appeared not to notice the lack of warmth.

  “Hi, Marie. It’s not too friendly upstairs so I’ve escaped down here.”

  “Oh, is it?”

  Marie did not look up. She had very little work to do but hoped that if she was disinterested and detached, Janice would leave. Marie had no wish to hear more about what a crap mother she had been.

  “I’m sorry. If you’re busy, I’ll leave you in peace. Go back to the war zone.” Janice paused. “You should know though that it’s your audit that is causing the problems.”

  If Janice was going to talk work, Marie was interested. She looked up.

  “No, it’s OK. What’s the problem?”

  “You’ve asked Martin Miller for some data but he can’t prepare it. So he’s asked our Finance Manager, who is my…”

  “What do you mean, he can’t prepare it? He’s the Financial Controller. He must know how to prepare....”

  “No, he can’t. I don’t know why, but he can’t. Anyway our Finance Manager won’t do it for him because Martin cheated him in the pay review. So, Martin is going to have a meeting with the three of you in the hope of embarrassing him...”

  “Oh, not another meeting like yesterday, where the boss tries to humiliate the staff,” Marie groaned. “What is it with this company? This is the 21st century for God’s sake.”