Memories of Gold

by Ali Olson

  His uneven, wobbly steps with the crutches finally took him to the door, where he stood for a moment and breathed the fresh air, taking in the scenery. The large vegetable patch near the door looked well-tended, but he could see the small hints of weeds poking up around the edges. Considering that Guadalupe was alone, she had done a very good job taking care of the garden. The even rows of vegetables were growing profusely. There were fruit trees with the last of the late-summer harvest nearly ready for picking, and a field that stretched into the distance, with small plants of indistinguishable breed sprouting up.

  He looked at Guadalupe, impressed. “How do you manage to do all this on your own?”

  She looked down, a small, proud smile on her lips. “It is not too hard. My husband and I would work together, and he did most of the planting before he—before the accident. Now, I just work a little longer to take care of what we put in the ground.”

  She paused, caught in her own thoughts as Jimmy looked again at the large field.

  “I have not done everything I would like to, though. Fernando was going to change this area into grapes for more profit. Wine grapes would make us much more money than strawberries, and it is good land for them. He was going to spend time this summer and fall cutting wood to hold up the plants, and was going to sell the strawberries and save enough for baby vines next year. I have not saved as much as would be needed to do this, so it will not happen. Not this year.”

  She shrugged. Jimmy understood what she had left unsaid; the money was spent on burial costs, and a woman selling fruit and vegetables would likely need to sell her wares at lower prices than a man who had been respected in the community would. The past month’s difficulties had hurt more than just her heart. It had hurt her pockets as well.

  “Still,” she went on, interrupting his thoughts, “I have plenty to get me through the winter, and I will be able to start those changes in a few years more.”

  She looked at the field, and he imagined she was picturing the small vineyard that would one day sprout forth. After a few moments, she turned back to Jimmy. “You are not pulling weeds. I will not let you back in my house if you cover yourself in dirt and hurt your leg.”

  Jimmy looked around. “Well, if that’s not an option, how about I chop some wood? Or pick the last of the fruit?”

  Guadalupe rolled her eyes and shook her head vehemently. “You will hurt yourself! You cannot do those things.”

  “Well, I must do something or I might go off my nut. What do you need done that you will let me do?”

  He smiled encouragingly at her, but she just sighed and looked around. “You can pick plums. I will give you a basket and you can put them all in it for me to make jam. Only pick the ones you can reach. Do not even think of climbing into a tree or you will need to stay in bed for the rest of the week.”

  He nodded his acceptance of her terms, and she set a basket out under a tree. After several more admonitions and much worrying, she allowed him to get started. It amused him how quickly she had fallen into the role of protector and mother hen with him. He expected her to eventually start checking to make sure he washed behind his ears each night.

  The plum trees were rather small, and he could reach all the plums hanging from the branches on the bottom half of them, so he immediately got to work grabbing a plum, tugging and twisting to split it from the tree, and then dropping it in the basket and hobbling within reach of the next piece of fruit. Though it was late for plums and most of them were already picked or had fallen, he still managed to get the large basket half full in a short time. They were good, productive trees.

  Jimmy paused and breathed in the cool, fresh air, feeling it on his face, and looked up at the dazzlingly blue sky. The summer heat still enfolded him like a blanket, but an occasional cool breeze heralded the coming of fall.

  Just a few more days and he would be back with Maria. The harder he worked, the faster the time would go.

  He looked up into the trees. He had picked all the plums within his reach. He considered using his good leg to hoist himself up into the lower branches to reach a few more pieces of fruit, and then smiled to himself as he imagined Guadalupe’s reaction if she saw him climbing. She would in all likelihood tie him to the bed.

  Jimmy looked around. What else could he do? No other trees needed picking, and he had already been admonished for wanting to get on the ground and work in the garden. His gaze took in the trees, the fields, the grass, relishing the natural beauty around him. The lift in his heart from the open space made him think of San Francisco again. It had never made him feel anything like that. San Francisco was no place for a person as wild as Maria, and it was no place for him either. The decision made him feel lighter.

  The field in front of him grabbed his attention, and he thought about what it would look like with grapevines growing there; what would they need to push out of the ground and survive on this land?

  Stakes. Grapes need stakes. Jimmy looked down at his carved crutch, smiling to himself. Then he began hobbling quickly to the pile of wood on the side of the house.

  Maria closed the door slowly, inching it into the jamb as quietly as possible. She sat down on the edge of the bed, listening for any noise. When she was sure the silence was complete, Maria lay back, resting the upper half of her body on her bed, her feet on the floor.

  It had been a long day, but she finally had a moment to relax. Emma was asleep on the couch, where they had been sitting with Sarah while discussing the small home they had looked at. It wasn’t much, and could certainly use a few repairs—Simon had already willingly offered his services for that—but it was enough, and Maria was fairly certain she would be able to afford it.

  She was amazed at herself. Suddenly, she was living in a different town than she had her entire life, and she would soon have a place of her own where she could care for her sister, make Josie’s last days as comfortable as possible, and provide for herself without working at Daisy’s or any other establishment of the kind.

  There was only one thing missing, one thing that continued to ache inside her: Jimmy wasn’t a part of it. She was without him, and there was nothing she could do to bring him back.

  She closed her eyes and breathed in, willing herself to shift her focus back to the accomplishments of the day and the final piece to put everything together. She needed to find students who were willing to pay to learn from her.

  But what would be the best way to go about that? Word of mouth would probably be difficult in this large town full of strangers, though Sarah would more than likely be willing to help. A sign in the general store could very well be a good bet. She sat and thought about the house, the number of students she would need, and all the other tasks at hand.

  Still, the back of her mind stayed on the hurt and pain. It never left her for very long.

  For the next three days, Jimmy spent every waking hour cutting wood to the correct lengths, tying them together, and pounding them into the ground with his good arm. As the sun rose on the morning of his departure, he hammered home the last of the neat row that lined the edge of the garden, ready for grape vines.

  Guadalupe beamed as she surveyed them, and it made him smile to see her looking genuinely happy.

  He said, “There. Now you’re one step closer to your grapes. I’m sure they will grow beautifully.”

  She hugged him gently and kissed his cheek. “Thank you. This will help.”

  “Are you sure there’s nothing else I can do for you? I’ll be leaving soon, but you saved my life. If there’s anything—“

  “You have done enough,” she cut in. “I am happier because you were here, and I will work on my grapes and my land. There is no more to do.”

  He wished there was; his debt still weighed on him, but she seemed happy. He went inside to prepare for his journey. He promised himself to send her some money by post when he got back. He knew she would never take it if he handed it to her, but she needed it.

  Once he had healed some more
and could truly make a difference and be of use, he and Maria would come back for a visit.

  Maria. He was finally going to see Maria. He was so excited, his hands shook slightly as he got ready to leave. He missed her with his body, heart, and soul. All three cried out for her, and he couldn’t wait to pull her into his arms, kiss her deeply, and feel her body against his. He was so close now.

  He’d never felt so calm, so at peace with himself. He knew exactly what he wanted, and it was her. Just her. His ambitions, the discontent, had turned into a faint memory. He couldn’t wait to tell her.

  It was almost noon when Jimmy slowly lowered himself from the post coach he had ridden in for the previous four hours. He was finally back in Shasta. It had been an exhausting ride, his leg ached from the jolting, and he had no idea how to find Maria. But he was neither tired nor worried. He was again in the same town as her and would be holding her in his arms soon, and that was enough to keep him optimistic. A small negative voice in his mind refused to believe that he would get what he wanted, that he would find her and live his little fantasy, but he ignored that. He was so close to turning everything right again.

  He cautiously put his weight on his good leg and maneuvered his crutch under his arm. His first stop would be Daisy’s, of course; he oriented himself in that direction and began to hobble down the road. On his slow trek through the town, he absorbed the familiar sites: the general store, the tailor, and a dozen other places. Seeing them again after so much had happened filled him with a sense of unreality.

  Daisy’s was only a short distance from the post office, but the walk felt like an eternity. If he could just get there, he could find her. He clenched his jaw, frustrated, as he hobbled through town.

  Finally, he stopped. There, in front of him, was Daisy’s. Maria was so close he could barely contain himself. He began moving again, faster than he knew he probably should, but he couldn’t help himself. At the door, he paused to allow his eyes to adjust to the dimness inside and to catch his breath.

  The room was large and empty and silent as dust motes floated in the streaks of sunlight filtering in the window. A cloying voice, too loud in the quiet room, called out to him. “Can I help you, sweetheart?”

  He turned to the bar area to find the woman he had seen after the earthquake, Daisy, leaning against the counter. It was clear she didn’t recognize him from that brief encounter.

  Now that he was so close, his throat felt tight and unyielding. “Maria,” he croaked.

  Daisy frowned, and Jimmy felt the pit of his stomach go cold. “Do you mean Mary? She’s gone, but I have plenty of other wonderful girls here that will be sure to satisfy you. Our establishment is closed at the moment, but we’ll be opening in a couple hours, hon.”

  His mind only caught the first few words. Gone? His mind ran through the possibilities brought up by this word. He needed more information. “Gone where?”

  “She moved out of town, down to Redding. She didn’t tell me why, but it seems she had a man waiting for her there. Seemed pretty determined about it all. Shame to lose her. Why do you want to know?”

  Jimmy turned around and stumbled out the door. He stopped in the bright sunlight, biting the corner of his lip. She was gone? A man waiting for her? How could that even be possible?

  He leaned against the wall, taking his weight off his bad leg, trying to come up with a plan, some idea of what to do next. He imagined a happy homecoming, and now he was being told that she was not there, that she was no longer his.

  He looked down the wide dirt road that cut through the middle of the town, feeling the despair in him fighting to overwhelm him. After a few moments, his eyes focused on a flurry of activity at the end of the street. A woman, a child, and an elderly man were climbing onto a cart full of items, preparing to depart for some unknown destination. The woman, even from a distance, seemed vaguely familiar.

  Jimmy squinted and shaded his eyes until he realized who it was. Josie. She looked paler than he remembered, but it was most certainly her. He moved his body off of the wall and tightened his grip on his crutch, shuffling forward as quickly as possible. He had to talk to her, get details about what happened to Maria, but she was so far away and his damn leg made everything so slow.

  “Josie!” Too far away. She couldn’t hear him over the bustling of the horses and creaks of the cart. He shuffled faster, ignoring the pain in his leg.

  “Josie!” She looked up. She heard him, or at least seemed to think she heard something. “Josie, wait!”

  Josie finally turned towards him, a man hobbling towards her on a crutch. It took several seconds for her brain to register who she was seeing, and several more for her to actually believe that her eyes were not playing tricks with the light.

  Jimmy, seemingly back from the dead, was making his way towards her, moving at a slightly slower pace now that he was sure he’d caught her attention. Mr. Swenson turned towards her, not having noticed the goings-on of the previous minute. “Well Josie dear, are we about ready to go?”

  She absent-mindedly shook her head as she stepped off the cart and moved towards Jimmy. Mr. Swenson, not one to be overly curious, sat back and listened to Josie’s daughter chattering away to her doll.

  Josie and Jimmy stood a few feet from each other, Jimmy trying to catch his breath and grit his teeth against the fresh pain, and Josie staring at him in dumbfounded wonder. After a long silence, they both began to speak at the same time.

  “What hap—“

  “Where’s Maria?” Jimmy rushed out, unable to control his near-panic. Please don’t say she’s gone. Please.

  “Oh God, Mary! She doesn’t know you are alive!”

  The astonishment on Josie’s face turned quickly to elation, then to an expression of pain as her body was racked by coughs. After a long while, the coughing subsided and she was able to speak. “She thinks you’re dead.”

  Jimmy had worried as much. Josie seemed unwell, but this wasn’t the time to discuss it. “Where is she, Josie?” he asked again, his voice laced with desperation.

  “She’s down in Redding. We were packing up the last few things and going to meet her at her home.”

  Jimmy’s head dropped to his chest. What Daisy said was true. The panic that he had felt morphed into numbness. He began to turn away from Josie, though he had no destination planned.

  “Where are you going?” Josie exclaimed, a shout so loud that it morphed into another fit; once master of herself again, she continued, “You must come with us. She needs to see you!”

  “She won’t want to see me,” he said quietly.

  “Like hell she won’t!”

  Jimmy looked up, surprised at her cursing, but Josie was too worked up to even notice. Her face was pale, but her cheeks were two bright red spots. “Jimmy, she thinks you died. She loves you more than anything. You need to come down with us right now.”

  His breath caught in his throat and his heart tightened with pain. “Can’t you just tell her I’m alive? I don’t want to get in the middle of whatever she is doing and hurt her more; it’s too late.”

  Josie seemed even more flabbergasted, but Jimmy’s mind was elsewhere. “Too late? Too late for what?”

  “For anything. She’s with someone else now, and I don’t want to ruin things for her more than I already have. If she’s married—“

  He was cut off by Josie’s laughter, though it quickly devolved once more into coughing. Something was definitely wrong with her.

  “Someone else!” she exclaimed. “Whatever put that fool notion into your head? You are the only fellow she has eyes for even if she thinks you’re dead. That was why she quit Daisy’s and moved, after all.”

  Jimmy was staggered by the news. He couldn’t believe what she was saying. Without another word, he walked back with her to the cart and allowed Josie and the old man to help him in. Josie had spoken to him and to the other man, but he had no idea what she was saying. The cart began to move, heading towards Maria.

  After a
ll the emotions of the day, he was exhausted. He sat in the back of the buggy, his bad leg carefully stretched out, and closed his eyes, focusing on his mental picture of Maria. Lovely Maria.

  “Very good, Anna! You’re getting better already!” Maria looked at the neat letters on the slate and smiled at her first pupil. Anna came to her from a neighbor’s house, sent by the kind Sarah; she had gone to school at the nearby schoolhouse, but was trying to master French for the first time. Her first lesson consisted of writing a few key words, and she’d clearly worked hard in the meantime to remember all of them.

  Anna blushed with the praise of her new teacher. The rest of the lesson went by smoothly, Anna concentrating deeply as she tried to write the common words in different combinations to make her first short sentences in French. At the end of the hour, she went home with a determined look on her face, and Maria felt confident that she would come back next time ready for something even harder.

  Even though she’d only been in town a few days, she’d managed to get settled and even get a couple of students, with a promise of more to come. The income from teaching was a necessary part of her plan, and she was proud of her accomplishments in such a short time.

  Josie and Alice were supposed to arrive either this day or the next, and she had wanted to do more work to the place before they got there, but for a moment she couldn’t convince herself to get up. She thought, for the thousandth time, of Jimmy. She wondered what he would say if he saw her new little home. He would be impressed, she was sure. He would make some joke, tease her in some curious and wonderful way that would make her laugh and warm her heart.

  The tears, always so near the surface, tried to break through yet again. Maria took one deep, shuddering breath, shook herself back into the present, and got up to start working again. At that moment, she heard Sarah calling from outside. “Maria! Your friends are here from Shasta!”