Undescribable

by Tessier, Shantel

  My thought of him being alone is short lived. As I stand in the doorway, I can see Jax on his back with Bridgette’s right arm draped over his chest. The rest is covered by blankets. Thank, God! I start to think maybe they passed out before they actually fucked, but then my eyes fell to the open condom wrapper on the floor.

  Shit.

  I run a hand through my hair. What to do, what to do. I can’t tell Samantha this. I’m going to lie. Fuck! I don’t want in the middle of this mess, but what other option do I have? I don’t want her to come over, beating my door down.

  “Samantha, he’s here, asleep.” I close the door quietly behind me and head back up the stairs. I don’t know why I didn’t tell her what I saw. It’s not my place, right? I mean, I don’t know what kind of relationship they have. I’ve had friends who have very open relationships. Maybe she even knew he was out with Bridgette. You never know. Or maybe they are broken up, and she’s one of those crazy bitches who thinks they are still together, which would guarantee a scene if she found out he was here with another woman.

  “Oh thank God!” she breathes into my ear, sounding like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She sounds like she had been worried about him all night.

  “Slade?” She says it so breathless that my body comes to a stop at the top of the stairs, frozen in place. It is like a caress of pure seduction. I can feel it down deep in my balls. I can see her lips move when she whispers my name. While her legs are wrapped around my waist, I’m bending down to taste each breast, my cock moving in and out of her. It’s like she’s pulled me into a dream. A dream I have no control over.

  What the fuck is wrong with me? I don’t even know this woman, but I want to, and that thought alone makes me conflicted. I’ve never wanted a woman like this. I take a shaky breath. “Yes?” It’s all I can manage, still standing at the top of the stairs like an idiot.

  Josh walks by with a cute brunette under his arm. He whispers in her ear, then swats her ass as she walks off down the hall, heading to one of my back bedrooms. He turns to me and stares as he takes a drink from the bottle in his hand. What is he doing?

  “Thank you so much for your help, and I’m really sorry for bothering you. I promise it won’t happen again.” She hangs up before I can say anything to her.

  I stand there for a few more seconds, finding myself, hoping that she calls me again. I look up to Josh as he finally speaks.

  “I’m guessing that was Sam, since you were looking for Jax?” He slurs.

  “Yes.” I croak out.

  He shakes his head. “She’s a nice girl. Jax is such an ass.” He shakes his head again before walking off.

  How does he know her? I stop him before he gets too far down the hallway. “How did he get invited back here? I don’t know the guy.”

  “You invited him.” He leans on the wall, needing the support to stay standing.

  “What? Why would I invite him?”

  “Actually, you invited Bridgette back to join you and Jessica.” He nods his head in agreement with himself. “She ended up inviting Jax here for herself. Good night. See you in the morning.” He drags himself to my back spare bedroom to get his dick sucked.

  I look around and notice I still haven’t moved from the spot above the stairs. I finally find my legs and proceed to walk towards my room.

  When I enter, Jessica is still lying there. I wish I wouldn’t have let her fall asleep. I don’t like women spending the night. I prefer to fuck them, then say goodbye. I’m in no mood to have to explain shit to her in the morning. Sighing, I turn around and walk out of my bedroom, closing the door behind me.

  I walk down the hall to my office and take a seat behind my desk. Leaning back in my chair, I run a hand over my face, tired and somewhat confused. I can’t get Samantha out of my head. God, that voice. So sweet and gentle, it had taken my breath away when she spoke my name. I have never experienced anything like it before. What had made me react that way? Was it because Jessica already had me all worked up?

  I shake my head. That’s not it. I know that Jessica had nothing to do with it. Hell, I could have gone back to bed, woke Jessica and fucked her. I didn’t, though. I no longer want her. Does that mean I want Samantha now?

  What the fuck? What am I thinking? What is wrong with me? She is just another woman. No reason to get this worked up over her.

  I sit up and pull a few papers out of my desk. I can go over the ones regarding a client. Yeah, that will get my mind back on track. I pick up the papers, stand up from my chair and walk around, feeling the need for some movement.

  My eyes scan the material that covers my clients’ information. I don’t make it halfway through his last name when I throw them down on my desk, unable to think about work right now all I want to do is think about Samantha, not fuck with work.

  Placing my palms on top of the desk, I lean on it for support and hang my head as my mind continues to have thoughts about Samantha. I wonder what Samantha looks like? It’s not that I’m picky. I don’t have a certain type. I’m just curious.

  “Slade?”

  I close my eyes and sigh heavily before I turn to face Jessica. She’s standing in the doorway, naked. “Go back to bed, Jessica.” Wow! Did I just say that? Who turns down a naked woman? I sure as hell never have.

  “Come with me.” She takes a few steps into my office.

  I shake my head. “I have work to do.” Why am I coming up with an excuse? I don’t have work to do. I just no longer want her.

  “It didn’t seem like you were working.” She stops a few feet in front of me, and I swallow, trying not to look at her naked body so close to me. Close enough for me to reach out and touch her. I could pull her into me and take her right here in my office. I could imagine that she is the face to the sweet voice that continues to play through in my head.

  “Well, I was,” I argue, trying to reassure myself. My dick is playing tricks on me. Getting hard and wanting to fuck her. It’s not really her that I want, though.

  “Slade,” she huffs.

  The way she says my name pisses me off. It sounds nothing like that wonderful sweet voice and it makes me tense. Unlike Samantha.

  “I said I’m working.” I turn around and sit back down in my chair. I gather up my papers and put them into a neat pile in front of me.

  “Well, you weren’t too busy working before that girl called you,” she spits out.

  I look up at her, my mouth in a hard line. “That’s none of your fucking business,” I growl.

  “I won’t allow you to talk to me like that,” she says, trying to sound strong but failing.

  “Then go home,” I say carelessly. This is why I never do anything more than a one night stand, and why they never spend the night. I don’t feel the need to explain any aspect of my life to any female. A questionable woman is an annoying woman.

  “I’m working,” I say again, raising my voice when I see her still standing there.

  She narrows her hazel eyes at me and leans up against my desk. “When will you be done?”

  I look up at the clock behind her on the wall. It reads a quarter past five. “Fuck!” I run a hand through my hair. My plane leaves at ten. Thank God for the time change, and the fact that court is later in the day tomorrow. The only sleep I’ll get will be whatever I manage to take on the plane.

  I pick up my papers and shove them into my bag. Standing up, I walk out of my office, leaving Jessica behind. I’m hoping she will get the fucking hint and leave. I enter my bedroom, place my bag on the floor, then head into the bathroom and turn on the shower.

  “Are we taking a shower?” she asks, happily entering behind me.

  When is she going to get the hint that I’m done with her? I take a deep breath. I’ve tried to be nice, but the bitch is getting on my nerves.

  “No. I’m taking a shower.” I grab a towel out of the cabinet. “Alone.”

  She continues to stand there. “Well, what am I supposed to do? Want me to go wait in bed for you?�
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  “No. I have to be at the airport in a few hours. I told you, I have work to do before I have to be at court. I’m going to shower, get ready, then do some work before I leave. So you can show yourself out.” I rush to get out of my clothes.

  I open the shower door to step in, but she holds the door open before I can close it. “So, I’m to leave? That’s what you want me to do?”

  “Didn’t I already tell you that?” I turn my back to her and grab my shampoo. I flinch as she slams the shower door shut. Thank God she’s finally leaving. I am in no mood to put up with a pissed off woman. I shouldn’t have gone out last night. I should have told Josh no.

  I rinse off the shampoo and grab for my body wash, when a thought hits me. If I hadn’t have gone out last night, the call from Samantha wouldn’t have happened. I can’t get her sweet voice out of my head. Having to endure a day in court with no sleep is going to make for a very long and frustrating day.

  Placing one hand on the wall in front of me, I grab my cock with the other and jerk off as I think of her sweet voice screaming my name.

  I roll over and notice Jax still hasn’t been home. I look at my clock on my night stand. 8:30 AM Last night I was worried, terrified even that something had happened to him. When Slade said he was asleep there at his house I was relieved, knowing he was somewhere safe. That relief, however, only lasted a few minutes. As soon as I hung up with Slade, my emotions went crazy, bouncing around like a pinball machine until they finally landed on furious; furious that he had no respect to call me and inform me he was going to stay. How could he not think that I wouldn’t worry about him? Maybe he knew I would, and just didn’t care.

  With a heavy sigh, I get out of bed and head to the bathroom. I need some therapy. Retail therapy. The mall doesn’t open until ten, but I need to get out of this house. I take a quick shower, throw my hair in a messy ponytail, and put on just a tad of makeup. Top it off with a pair of capris, a tank top and a cute pair of heels and I’m out the door within twenty minutes.

  I stop off at Starbucks first to grab a black cup of coffee. The tanning salon is right next door to Starbucks, so I sit in my car and drink my coffee while waiting for it to open.

  After the coffee and tan, I feel more awake, even though I only got four hours of sleep last night.

  I wasn’t at the mall fifteen minutes when Holly calls me. “Hey, what’s up, Holls?” I ask as I walk into Buckle.

  “Not much, girl. What are you up to? Did you ever get a hold of Jax last night?”

  “Yeah, Slade found him passed out in one of his rooms.” I try to sound like it is no big deal so she will drop it. My voice sounds like it doesn’t bother me, but inside there is a storm building. Thankfully she gets the hint.

  “That’s good. Glad he is okay.” Is that sarcasm? “So, Micah wants to take me out for dinner tonight. I was able to put together a cute outfit from my closet, but I was wondering if I could borrow a pair of red heels?”

  “Of course. I’m at the mall right now. When do you want to come over?” I ask as I examine a cute pair of Miss Me jeans.

  “Well how long will you be at the mall?” I can practically hear her biting on her nails.

  “I can leave now if you need me to. I’m just looking around.” I walk out of Buckle as I check my watch. It is a little past ten and I still haven’t heard from Jax.

  “That would be awesome. Thanks, Sam. You’re the best. I’ll head your way.” I can hear her keys rattling as she shuts her front door which makes me laugh.

  “Okay, I’m on my way as well. Bye.”

  I go to put my phone in my purse, I notice I have a new text message. I walk through the glass doors to the outside parking lot and open it up. It’s from Jax.

  Finally.

  Jax: Where you at?

  Really? He couldn’t say, hi! I’m alive. Sorry I missed all your calls and text last night, I passed out. How courteous of him to wonder where I’m at. Not!

  I hit reply and type one word.

  Me: Mall!

  I toss my phone in my purse, and start digging out my keys while I walk in the direction I parked my car. When I see my 370Z, a smile appears on my face. She always makes me feel better. I bought her last summer when I was feeling down and needed a pick-me up.

  I pop the trunk and throw my bag from MAC in the back before I climb in the driver’s seat. The bright red color of my car reminds me of a coveted ruby. A precious gem, yet she can get me where I need to be in a hurry.

  I sink down into the black leather as I turn the ignition, then squeal out of the parking lot with my stereo blaring Taylor Swift’s new album Red all the way home.

  As soon as I open the door to our house, I know something is wrong because that black tank top on the floor does not belong to me. I can hear a woman’s voice muttering ‘baby’ from our bedroom. My heart is pounding so hard that I’m having problems breathing. I’m not nervous about what I will find in there.

  I’m pissed.

  Pissed beyond words because I know exactly what I am going to find behind that door. That’s why he wanted to know where I was? So he could bring some woman back to our house to have sex?

  I stop at the bedroom door with my heart beating wildly, and take a deep breath. I rest my hands down to my side and give them a shake, not knowing what the hell I’m about to do. Before I let myself think too much, I reach out and shove it open, shoving it so hard that it bangs loudly as it hits the wall.

  “What the?” Jax squeals as he jumps off the bed, trying to cover himself with his hand. His eyes are wide as they land on me. “Baby, I’m sorry. It’s not what it looks like.” I stand there, watching him as he grabs his pants. “Baby, let me explain.” He puts his hands up in the air. “She doesn’t mean anything. You know I love you. I love you more than anything, baby. This was just a mistake.” He picks his shirt up off the floor. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, but it was a one-time thing. I don’t know what I was thinking. I promise it will never happen again.”

  My heart is hammering in my chest, and I’m finding it hard to breathe. I straighten my back. He starts to walk towards me with his hands out like he is going to hug me. I put my right hand up to stop him, and take a step back. If he lays one hand on me, I won’t be able to hold back the bile that is threatening to come up.

  He stops walking, but starts to talk again. “We can fix this. I love you, baby. Baby—”

  “Quit calling me baby.”

  I’m surprised at how calm my voice is. My body is far from calm, though. It is so tense that it feels like it is about to snap like a rubber band. I want to throw myself at him and ask him why while I bawl my eyes out.

  What is wrong with me?

  What did I do wrong?

  Have I ever been enough for him?

  How many other women have there been?

  Has he been safe?

  I want to ask the woman lying in my bed if she knows about me, or has he lied to her to as well? I want to believe that he has made a mistake, but there is no way he can fix this. My heart is already broken and lying at my feet in a thousand pieces.

  I finally take my eyes off of him and look over at the blonde lying naked in what used to be our bed. She is clinging to the covers that are pulled up to her chest, so I can’t see much of her, but she looks to be very petite. Her dark blue eyes are trained on Jax. If looks could kill, he’d be up in flames right now. I believe she wants him dead more than I do.

  My eyes move back and forth between the two of them a couple times before it hits me. I can tell by the tears in her eyes that this is not a one-time thing. She’s in love with him. There is no doubt in my mind that he has been seeing her for a while.

  My throat tightens and my eyes start to sting. I take a couple of deep breaths. I will not let him see me cry. Hell, there is already one woman crying in this room because they love him. There’s no way I will give him the satisfaction of two crying women.

  I close my eyes, hoping this is a nightmare. A very bad nig
htmare, and when I wake up he won’t be standing in front of me, half naked with a women in our bed. Closing my eyes tighter, tight enough to keep my tears back, tight enough to erase this horrible dream, I take in another deep breath.

  When I open my eyes, he is still standing there and she is still lying naked in our bed.

  The bed we used to make love in.

  The bed where he told me I was perfect and that he wanted a life with me.

  The bed where I was the only one for him, and the bed where I believed every single lie he ever told me.

  How could I have been so stupid?

  I have to dig down deep to find the courage within myself to do what I know I have to. No matter how much it hurts.

  “It’s over, Jax,” I whisper. “I’ll be back tomorrow for my stuff.”

  I hear Holly’s car pull up. I want to sag to the floor with the relief that rolls over me. My best friend is here, and I need to get out of this place. Turning to the closet, I grab the pair of shoes Holly wants, then turn back around and walk to the front door.

  “Get in your car, I’ll follow you,” I say as calm as I can when I see Holly get out of her car. It is just all too much, and I need out of here.

  “What’s wrong, Sam?” She takes a few steps to me.

  “Get in your car, Holly!” I yell. I feel bad when I notice the look on her face. I start to apologize, but Jax interrupts me.

  “Baby, please believe me, I’m sorry. I love you. For fucks sake, I asked you to move here with me. I wouldn’t have asked you to come if I didn’t want to be with you.”

  I turn to see Jax walking out onto the front porch. I have to look away. Every time I look at him, it breaks my heart all over again.

  I turn back to Holly whose eyes dart from me to Jax a few times. Then the look of confusion turns to shock, and she narrows her eyes. I look over my shoulder and see the blonde dressed in one of his shirts and a pair of his basketball shorts, grabbing Jax’s arm. “Come on, Jax. Let’s go back inside. She said it’s over. Don’t beg her.”