Undescribable

by Tessier, Shantel

  “And Holly is going to be working.”

  “And?” I press for more information.

  “Holly texted me a while ago...She said Sam works tonight as well.”

  I feel a smile on my face. “Well, I guess I can join you for a beer or two.” I feel rather happy about the thought of seeing my beautiful angel tonight.

  “Thought so.” Micah turns to walk out of my office, but stops at the door and turns around. “Hey, Slade?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Just so you know, I didn’t come tell you that so you could sleep with her. I know you like her and I told you that so you could get to know her. I have a feeling you’re going to have to work hard just for that much from her.” He pats the door then walks out.

  My brother and I have always been close. Really close. We are only two years apart, and were always getting in trouble together. He was never the partier like I was, I had Josh for that, but Micah was always doing stuff to get us in trouble. It just didn’t involve alcohol. I would drag him around from party to party with Josh and myself, so we could fuck around with the girls we wanted, and Micah could be our designated driver.

  Then we grew up, he met Holly, and everything changed. I’m happy he met Holly. He loves her, and she makes him very happy. I just never thought that kind of life was for me. Settling down and falling in love? It’s overrated. Who wants to put up with all of that relationship bullshit? Not me.

  He knows I want Angel, but the way he just said it made it sound like I wanted more from her than just a fuck. Do I? It’s physical, yes, and it was also really hard leaving her in her bed the other night. I wanted to crawl in next to her and just hold her. Show her that I was there for her and that she wasn’t alone. What does that say?

  I’m anxious, and somewhat nervous about tonight. As I park, I look over to see Angel’s car a few spots down from me. I smile, knowing I’m going to get to see her again.

  “Slade!” Josh shout from a table when I walk in the door.

  “Hey, I didn’t know you were coming.” I pull out a seat and sit down.

  Josh shrugs. “It was a last minute decision.” He picks up a water bottle and takes a drink.

  “Water?” That’s surprising.

  He nods his head. “Thought I would take one night off.”

  “Probably a good idea.” I take a quick look around. “Where’s Micah?”

  “He’s in the back with the girls. Holly asked him to help her with something...wait, there he is.”

  I turn around to see Holly, Micah and Angel walk out from the back. My eyes are glued to Angel as they travel from her messy ponytail down to her tennis shoes. She has a pair of tight black jeans on and a white tank top that has the usual Larry’s logo across her chest. I turn around, having to readjust my pants.

  “You okay?” Josh laughs.

  “Yes” I snap.

  He puts his hands up in the air as he laughs his ass off at me.

  “Glad I can amuse you.”

  “You do. You do,” he nods, still laughing.

  “What is so funny?” Micah asks as he sits down at the table.

  “Nothing.” I eye Josh, daring him to say something. Thank God he doesn’t.

  “Hey guys,” Angel says cheerfully as she comes to stand between Micah and Josh. Then her eyes land on mine, that smile drops off her face and she takes in a deep breath as if it’s going to kill her to talk to me. “What can I get you to drink, Slade?” How can she already be mad at me? I just got here.

  “I’ll take a Bud Light. In a glass, please.” I give her a tight smile.

  She nods her head, then turns to walk off.

  “How did I already piss her off? Anyone know?’’ I look to my friend and brother who are shaking their heads no.

  “Told you it was going to be hard,” Micah says, taking a drink of his beer.

  “I don’t know her all that well, but I was in here often while you were out of town. I’ve never seen her be mean to anyone but you.” Josh smiles.

  “Figures.” The one girl I want is going to be the hardest for me to get.

  “Here you go.” She comes back, placing my beer in front of me. She turns to walk off, but I grab her hand. She turns back around, looking down at our hands then up to my eyes.

  “Need something else?” she asks with that bitchy tone that I love.

  I can’t take my eyes off of her. I want to know what I did wrong, and for once in my life I want to fix whatever fuck up I did. I want her to give me her full attention. I want to see her gorgeous smile. And I want her to stand here for a few minutes and just talk to me!

  “Tell me something about yourself, Angel.” She tries to pull her hand away, but I hold it tighter.

  “There’s nothing you need to know.” She tugs on her hand again. This time I let it go. “Do you need anything else?” I shake my head no, and she turns to help another table.

  “You two need to tell me everything you know about her.” I take a drink of my beer before I place my elbows on the table.

  “She was with Jax for eight months and for the time that I’ve known them, he was a jack ass to her, treated her like shit. So don’t be your normal dick head self. You need to talk to her nicely.” Micah tells me, taking a swig of his beer.

  “Nicely? I was talking to her nicely.” He knows how I usually talk to women. He knows that was nice for me. We can’t all be sweet and romantic like Micah.

  “Nicer.” He says slowly. “This may come as a surprise to you, Slade, but to get someone different, you will have to act different.”

  Act different? How am I supposed to act? “Fine. I will go talk to her nicely.” I pick up my beer and stand up. I turn around to walk to the bar, but don’t make it two steps before I run right into Angel and spill my beer all over her.

  She gasps, throwing her hands out to her side, and looking down at the mess I created. I stand there frozen, watching it run down into her chest between her rather large tits, soaking her shirt in the process and letting me see her tan lace bra underneath. My already tight jeans get tighter.

  “Slade,” Angel hisses, getting my attention.

  “Fuck. I’m so sorry.” I seem to always be telling her I’m sorry.

  I pick up a couple of napkins, and start wiping off her chest.

  “Slade!” She squeals, jumping back. “It’s okay. I can do that.” She takes another step back, snatching the napkins from my hand. “Thanks, though.”

  “I’m really sorry, Angel.” Her head snaps up. She looks pissed; probably because I have a smirk on my face. She looks so fucking hot in the beer covered tank top. I just want to tear it off of her as I lick it off her chest.

  She gives me a look of hatred as her eyes bore into mine. “I’m sure you are.” She pulls her shirt away from her chest as she wipes it down.

  “I’m going to go change.” She turns and starts to walk off.

  “Need any help?” I call out as the guys try to cover their laughter by coughing. They fail miserably.

  Angel stops and turns around, taking a few slow steps toward me. “I think you’ve helped me enough.” She gives me a slow sexy smile that makes my hard erection twitch, then turns and walks off.

  I sit down at the table, “I think she’s playing with me,” I say to myself more than anyone. Giving me that gorgeous smile when she was clearly pissed off at me.

  “She hates you,” Josh laughs out.

  “We’ll see about that.” I stand and head to the back of the bar. I find her as she walks out of an office, now wearing the same tank top just in black.

  Her eyes meet mine as I walk right up to her. “What’s your problem with me?” I demand.

  I can feel the hatred coming from those bright green eyes as she puts her hands on her hips. “Slade, I don’t want to do this.”

  “Do what?” I place my hand on her shoulders, and she jumps back.

  “Have this conversation with you. Why don’t you go back and drink with your buddies while I go back to doing my
job?”

  “Why won’t you let me explain about Jax?” She is seriously pissing me off.

  “Why do you want to talk about Jax now? You should have talked to me about him when you knew he was sleeping with someone else!”

  I grind my teeth in frustration. “How many times do I have to say this? I didn’t even know him, Angel. I had no idea what was going on. Listen to me. I don’t know what he was doing with her. I mean, yeah. Sure, guys fuck around on their girlfriends.” I shrug. “But to be with her over you?” I shake my head, confused by that thought. “I know in a way you think it’s my fault, since I was the one who invited her back, but I never thought she would bring him.”

  She holds up her hand. “Wait. So you’re saying it is somehow my fault that he was fucking around?” Her voice rises.

  I start shaking my head, trying to back track my current statement.

  “And you!” She lifts her hand to gesture at me. “Why would you invite her over? Were you sleeping with her, too?” She pulls her lip back, disgusted by that thought.

  I sigh, rubbing the back of my neck. I’ve already lied to her once, and I don’t want to lie to her ever again. “I’ve slept with her.” I watch as the disgusted look turn to amusement.

  “Of course you have.” She throws her hands up in the air before they land on her hip. “Was she your girlfriend, or just another someone you slept with?”

  “I’ve never had a girlfriend, Angel.”

  “I just don’t understand.” She shakes her head, looking down at the floor.

  “What don’t you understand?” Why I slept with her? Sometimes I would ask myself that same question.

  “Why he didn’t just leave me if I wasn’t enough?” she whispers.

  I have never wanted to treat a woman as badly as Jax treated Angel. I mean, yeah, I had never had a relationship with one. I just fucked around, but they never thought it was more than that. I never told them I loved them, then went behind their backs to be with someone else.

  I take a step toward her. “Angel.” She looks up at me. I expected her to have tears in her eyes, but she doesn’t as they stare into mine. “I wanted to tell you. I did. I even picked up my phone the next day to call and tell you, but something came up and I forgot. I never meant for you to get hurt.”

  I reach out slowly and cup her cheek in my hand. She doesn’t pull away, so I take another step closer until my chest is touching hers as I look down at her. I can feel her heart beating fast as she breaths heavy. I know she can feel my hard dick in my pants, but I can’t pull away. I need to be close to her, touching her, showing her how sorry that I am.

  “I will always regret not telling you.” I run my hand through her loose ponytail. I feel a finger slide over a cut. From when he shoved her down?

  I want to kill Jax. I want to rip him to shreds for hurting her. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to calm down. It wasn’t all his fault; in a way I had a small part to play in that outcome. “I’m so sorry that he hurt you.”

  She takes a step back as my hand falls to my side. “Who told you?” she whispers, looking down at the floor.

  “Does it matter?” She looks up at me with a sad face.

  “No. I guess it doesn’t. Why would you care what did or didn’t happen to me, Slade? You don’t know me.”

  “I want to.” I take a step towards her. I want to know everything about her.

  “Why?”

  Can she not see the way she makes me feel? Why wouldn’t I want to know her? Any man would kill to get to know her.

  I take a deep breath; there’s no need to lie to her. I have always been honest when it comes to just fucking around, and I need to be honest about this too, even if I don’t know exactly what this is yet. “Because you’re special.”

  It’s as simple as that.

  I watch a smile form on her face, and I think I’ve finally got through to her.

  I smile as she takes a step towards me. “You surprise me, Slade.” Her smile drops. “I never expected you to be the type to say bullshit just to get a girl in bed with you,” she adds flatly.

  “Um, what do you...um, no.” I shake my head. Fuck, does she confuse me! “That’s not…” I shake my head again.

  She gives a little laugh, “Right!” and walks back to the bar.

  Well, I want to punch Micah now! I tried something different, and it obviously didn’t work. I need a drink, something stronger than a beer. I walk up to Holly who is wiping down a counter behind the bar.

  “I need three rum and cokes.” I pull out my wallet.

  “Don’t worry about that. Micah has a tab running.” She sets the drinks down in front of me.

  “Okay. Just let me know what the total is at the end of the night. I’ll cover it.” She starts to say no as I walk off, but I ignore her.

  “Here we go, guys.” I place the three drinks down on our table.

  “It went that badly, huh?” Josh asks.

  “Something like that.” I’m going crazy. What the hell do I have to do to get through to this woman? “Well, you’re advice sucked ass.” I look to Micah.

  “What did you say?” he asks cautiously.

  I shake my head and sit down. I’m not going to tell him what I said. They’ll laugh at me. I take a long drink.

  “Did you guys need something?” When I turn my head, Angel’s hips and stomach are right there. I can’t pull my eyes away. She bends over and looks at me. “Did you need something, Slade?” She gives me a soft smile.

  I know she’s being sarcastic so I let my eyes drift down to look at the top of her cleavage. Fuck, I want to place my hands on her body, feel her cry out my name. I’m so turned on, remembering how they looked when soaked with my beer. “You, naked in my bed, as you call out my name.”

  Shit. Did I say that out loud?

  “Thought so,” she whispers as she wipes the smile off of her face and walks away.

  “Man,” Micah laughs.

  “You want a shovel, Slade? Help dig you out of that hole?” Josh laughs.

  “Fuck.”

  I can’t help the reaction I have to her. Nothing I’m doing is working. I tried the nice and honest thing. For fucks sake, I told her she was special! I know she’s different. Otherwise she wouldn’t consume my every thought. But I let my normal dick head self out, took it the sexual route, and that just got me a go to hell look.

  “Slade.” I lift my drink when I feel two arms wrap around my neck and come to a stop on my chest as a set of lips settle on my ear. I turn my head slightly to see Amy. I turn back around looking at my drink thinking I should push her away. I am not in the mood. I’m pissed off and lost. Where the fuck did I go from here? What does Angel want me to do? I’ve never had to chase a woman before; they always came to me.

  I close my eyes and take in a deep breath as Amy starts sucking on my ear. I picture it being Angel, sighing my name. Picture her standing there, telling me she wants me with a beautiful smile on her face.

  “Come home with me.”

  The sound of Amy’s voice ruins it for me.

  I open my eyes and they lock with Angel as she stands across the bar, staring at me. Fuck!

  I look to Micah and his eyes narrow on me before he looks away taking a drink of his beer. I don’t have to look over to Josh to know he’s giving me a go to hell look as well. I pull Amy’s arms away from my neck. “Not tonight.”

  “What?” she asks, obviously surprised.

  I first hooked up with Amy in high school, and we’ve continued to sleep together throughout the years. She was a beautiful blonde back in high school, after graduation she cut off her hair, dying it jet black, pierced her nose and started wearing leather all the time. She also fell in love with tattoos; they cover her entire body. I’ve never been attracted to a woman covered with tattoos, or wanted to fuck the same woman more than once. But Amy and I have always wanted the same thing; no attachment fucking, so what we did worked for us, and she could do whatever she wanted to do with h
er body.

  “I said not tonight.” I stand up, grabbing my rum and coke. I have to tell Angel that what she just saw was not what it looked like. I don’t know why. I just don’t want her to think I’m taking Amy home.

  “Angel?” I say as I come up to the bar.

  “What, Slade? Does your table need something?” She keeps her back to me, counting out some change.

  I clear my throat. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  Holly is giving me a small smile. She can tell I’m trying with Angel, so how can Angel not see it?

  She turns around and walks out behind the bar without even looking at me. I follow her as she goes to the back to give us some privacy.

  “What?” She crosses her arms over her chest, looking down at the floor and still refusing to make eye contact with me.

  “I…” Fuck, how can I explain this? “I don’t know how much you saw, but it’s not what you think.”

  She looks up at me. “Doesn’t matter what I saw. What you do is none of my business.” She shrugs.

  “I’m sorry.” Why do I keep apologizing? Oh yeah, because I keep fucking up.

  Her cold green eyes stare into mine and my gut clenches. I should have never let Amy touch me. I should have pushed her away. “Why are you sorry? I never once thought that I was the only girl you’re trying to screw.” She says with a straight face.

  I stand there, caught off guard. “Um, no. It’s...I...but not—”

  She places her hand up, cutting me off. “Spit it out. What do you want?” She demands harshly.

  I swallow, why in the fuck do I feel like I’m sinking in quicksand, and how in the hell do I get out? This is becoming a fucking train wreck.

  “I just wanted to apologize and let you know it’s not what it looked like.”

  “Don’t apologize for what you do. You don’t have to explain your life to me.” She walks past me, knocking her shoulder into me.

  “Sam,” Holly calls out to her, sounding worried.

  “Don’t want to talk about it,” she replies as she picks up her tray and walks over to another table.

  My life? She’s right, fucking different women has always been my life. Why do I feel the need to change that now? I shake my head. How do I continue to ruin shit with her?