Undescribable

by Tessier, Shantel

  She places both of her hands flat on my chest, and starts guiding me backwards until the back of my knees hit the bed. I sit down and place my hands on her hips as she comes to stand between my legs.

  “You don’t want me?”

  I dig my fingers in her hips and pull her closer to me. Christ, can she not feel how much I want her? I only have one plausible excuse I can use.

  “You’re drunk.” Her tits look perfect. Without thinking, I reach up and run the pads of my fingers slowly over the top of them. They’re just as smooth as the rest of her skin. I realize what I’m doing and snatch my hand away, placing them back on her hips. I look up at her face, and the naughty smile she has tells me she’s not buying that lame drunk bullshit either.

  “So, you’re telling me you’ve never messed around with someone while they were drunk?” She lifts an eyebrow. Is she challenging me?

  “Well...” I try to think of a way to bullshit myself out of this situation, but before I can, she is kissing me. Her kiss is raw, yet full of passion. I can feel the want she has for me, and I want her just as much. I let my hands glide down to her ass, cupping each cheek in a hand. Her hands twist in my hair. Fuck, I love how she touches me, like she can’t get enough of me. Her touch is like fire and ice, sending chills down my body while boiling my insides.

  She pulls back and whispers against my lips, “Please, Slade. Let me taste you.”

  Holy. Fucking. Shit.

  That is the hottest thing I had ever heard. How can I tell her no? How can I tell myself no? I want this just as much as she does. My hands are still on her ass, so I move them to my jeans so I can unbutton them.

  “No, let me.”

  As she begins to unzip my pants, a million thoughts go through my head.

  What the fuck am I doing?

  How will I keep myself from just picking her up, throwing her body on the bed, and having my way with her?

  How will I stop myself from taking her in all of the ways I‘ve imagined?

  I’m trying to take this slow. I don’t want her to think I just want to use her, then send her on her way tomorrow.

  “Slade.” She pulls me back to her.

  “Yes, Angel?” I look up to her face and lift my hand to stroke her cheek with the back of my knuckles. Her skin is so soft that I could spend all night running my hands over it.

  “I’ve never done this before.” She looks down, embarrassed.

  What? Never done this before? Wasn’t she with that guy for, like, eight months?

  I instantly get pissed thinking of her with him. Then the thought crosses my mind that we are about to share something that she has never experienced before. The thought makes me smile. I take a deep breath and look at her, lifting her chin up so those beautiful green eyes are looking into mine.

  “Don’t be embarrassed, Angel. I’m glad your first time is with me.” I look down and finish releasing my cock out from behind my pants. She watches me release myself from my jeans, and her eyes grow big as I begin to stroke myself. She licks her lips.

  Fuck.

  The wait is killing me. I’m so hard for her that it’s painful. “Get on your knees, Angel,” I command, not even recognizing my own voice. It is so rough with need that I sound pained. I have never felt a need of this magnitude. It’s as if I’m dying, and she is my lifeline.

  She takes in a big breath, then slowly goes down to her knees. I look down at her, and it makes me feel powerful. She looks so timid, yet she is willing to try something unfamiliar to her just to pleasure me.

  “Take my cock in your hand.”

  Her eyes go wide, but she does as she’s told. Her touch is soft, like she is afraid she might break me.

  “Now put me in your mouth and suck on it, Angel.” How else do I explain what I want her to do?

  She gives a curt nod, bends her head down, and puts me in her mouth. I can tell she is worried she is going to hurt me. She is treating my cock as if it is a piece of glass that will break in her hand. I tangle my hands lightly in her hair, and pull her head back.

  “Angel,” I said softly, “put your hands behind your back.”

  “I—”

  She starts to speak, but I don’t let her finish. “Put your hands behind your back and leave them there,” I say as my hands tighten in her hair.

  She closes her eyes and lets out a little whimper. Fuck, she is driving me crazy. I want to order her to lie flat on the bed as I rip her fucking clothes off and show her what dominating her body really means. I tighten one hand in her hair, and grab a hold of my cock with the other. I guide her down and she wraps her perfect little mouth around me and begins to suck again.

  “Fuck!”

  It feels so good. She starts to move her tongue around, licking me up and down as I gently rock my hips, just giving her a little more each time. “Ah, that feels so good. Your mouth feels so fucking good.” I still have one hand in her hair, but she is controlling her rhythm. It is slow and soft, leaving me wanting more.

  I grab her hair tighter and take over. She moans, and it vibrates all the way down my cock to my balls. My body jerks at the sensation. I throw my head back and close my eyes, feeling her suck me like she needs it.

  I don’t want to hurt her, so I slow down a bit. I have to restrain myself. I pull her head back slowly as she runs her tongue up the length of me. I shudder.

  “Shit, baby.” I pant.

  She moans again, and picks up the pace. I grip her hair harder, making her body jerk slightly.

  “I’m almost there,” I grit through my teeth, but it only makes her suck me harder. I open my eyes and gaze down at her. Her eyes are closed, her hands still behind her back. I look at my hand in her hair, my cock pumping in and out of her perfect mouth...Fuck, it feels amazing. I can feel my body tensing.

  “I’m going to come. You need to...you need to stop...stop, Angel, or I’m gonna come in your mouth.” I don’t want her to stop, but I also don’t want to blow in her mouth if she doesn’t want that.

  She responds by lightly grazing me with her teeth, then sucking me hard. I pick up the pace, and my body jerks before coming in her mouth. I come so hard that I feel it in my chest, and it knocks the breath out of me. She continues to suck, swallowing every last drop.

  I release her head, and fall back on the bed. My heart is beating so fast. Fuck that was amazing! My body feels so alive; she makes me feel so alive. How can her mouth make me feel this way?

  I lean up on my elbows to look at her. She’s still kneeling on the floor with her hands behind her back, but her head is bowed and she’s breathing like she can’t catch her breath.

  “Are you ok?” I ask, getting off the bed to kneel down in front of her.

  She lifts her head to look at me. Her hair is wild and in her face, so I reach up and brush it back to get a better look at her. Her lips are swollen and red, and I take her face in my hands, giving her a long, soft kiss.

  She pulls away, nodding. “Just tired.”

  “Come on, let’s go to bed.” Reaching down, I help her to stand. She sways a bit as she stands, and she won’t look at me. Maybe I hurt her, or gave her a headache from pulling too hard on her hair. “Would you like some Tylenol, or a glass of water?” I ask as I help her sit on the bed.

  “No, thank you.” She’s looking down at her hands in her lap.

  “Would you like a t-shirt to wear to bed?” There is no way I am letting her leave here tonight. I want her in my bed, wrapped under my body as I hold her close to me. I kneel back down in front of her, trying to get her to look at me.

  “Yes, please,” she whispers.

  Something is wrong. She still won’t make eye contact with me. I think I hurt her. I stand up and pull out a t-shirt from my dresser, then walk back over to the bed and hand it to her. I bend down and kiss her on the forehead, then head to the bathroom to give her some privacy to change.

  I stand there for a few minutes, wondering what went wrong. Maybe I had taken it too far? I brush my teeth, th
en pull out an extra toothbrush still in the wrapper.

  Turning the light off, I leave the bathroom, but stop short at what I see in my bed. Angel is on her stomach with her head turned to the side, her dark hair fanned out over the pillows. My chest clenches at the way she looks wearing my t-shirt. It swallows her tiny body up, and I want to see that more often.

  I walk over to my side of the bed, and quickly strip down to my boxers. Climbing into bed next to her, I pull her tightly against my chest and smile as she snuggles herself even closer. I lean down and kiss her forehead. “Good night, my angel.”

  My last thought is how good she feels against me. It’s like she is made for me and that thought makes me happy, extremely happy.

  She belongs to me, whether she knows it or not.

  A big muscular body is wrapped around me with one arm over my side and a hand flat against my stomach. His muscular thigh is lying over my legs, and I can’t help but think how safe he makes me feel.

  The night starts to come back to me, and I cringe. Me, being a stupid drunk bitch, slapping him, and what we did once we got to his house.

  I slide out from underneath Slade as slowly as possible, trying not to wake him. Once I’m standing next to the bed, I look back at him. He didn’t even move an inch; he must be a sound sleeper. I can’t help but run my eyes over the parts of his body that aren’t covered by the sheets. This is the first time I’ve seen him without a shirt on, even though I still can’t see much. He is lying on his side with the covers pulled up under his arm. His arm is so sculptured that it makes my mouth water. I can’t help but remember what it did to me last night.

  I pull my eyes away from his arm to look at his chest. I want to crawl back under him and wake him up. Just let him hold me as he calls me Angel. Then I want him to show me what all he can do with my body.

  I shake my head. I can’t be thinking this now. I turn and head straight to the bathroom. I close the bathroom door and lean back against it, closing my eyes. What in the hell did I do? I embarrassed myself, that’s what I did.

  God, I begged him. I begged him to sleep with me. And he didn’t. He sleeps with every woman he comes across, but he wouldn’t sleep with me. What the hell? I’m not good enough to sleep with?

  Ugh!

  Well, screw him. I will never beg him again.

  I know that’s a lie.

  How does he get me so frustrated in a matter of seconds?

  I put my head in my hands. His dominate side lit my body on fire. I can only imagine how amazing sex would be with him. Too bad I won’t be experiencing that. He definitely won’t want to sleep with me after that blow job. I sucked at it. He pretty much told me so. That was embarrassing. How am I going to face him now? I couldn’t even look him in the eyes afterwards.

  Of course, I passed out before I could ask him to take me home. Shit!

  With a big sigh, I pull my head out of my hands and gasp when I get a good look at the bathroom. My thoughts of last night are momentarily forgotten. The walls are painted a soft gray color. While the floor is tiled with three different colors alternating; black, white and gray. To my right sits his and her sinks that set in front of a huge square mirror, and to my left is a glass shower. It’s so big that it has two shower heads, one on each end. Sitting directly across from it against the other wall is the white tub which curves out from the wall. At the other end of the bathroom is a vanity with a lighted oval mirror.

  I turn back around and catch sight of the toothbrush he must have left out for me. It gives me an uneven feeling in my stomach. How many other girls have spent the night? Do all of them wear his t-shirt to bed and get a toothbrush?

  Does it matter, though? That is what I wanted last night.

  I yank off the wrapper and brush my teeth quickly, trying to not think about the other women. I rinse out my mouth and place the toothbrush back on the countertop. I take a few seconds to look at myself in the mirror. I cringe at the sight of my makeup. I look awful. I take a quick second to fix the smudges of black eyeliner and mascara from underneath my eyes. Once I think I look decent enough, I turn to the bathroom door.

  As I open the door to the bathroom, I take in his room. There’s a big window on the far wall but it only gives out minimal light due to the dark brown curtains. The walls are painted beige, and his four poster bed is dark oak with dark brown satin sheets and comforter. There’s a night stand on both sides of the bed, and a long dresser on the right. As I walk farther into the bedroom, I see a huge flat screen TV hanging on the wall behind me with an entertainment system underneath it.

  Slade is still passed out in the same spot. I stand there and let my eyes roam over his body once again. I have to tighten my legs together as my need for him returns, and I feel a pain in my chest at the thought of him turning me down last night. I want to ask him what it is about me he doesn’t like, but I can’t. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to know the answer.

  I take in a deep breath, go to the side of the bed and dig my phone out of my purse. I need to get the hell out of here. I don’t know what the hell is going on with me. Who sleeps with a man they don’t know? Or worse, begs them to sleep with her! Not me.

  I pull up the number for the cab company that I use for drunk customers at Larry’s, but just stare at it. Can I just leave his house after last night and get away with it? Act like it never happened? Can I avoid him? He knows where I work. Shit, he even knows where I live.

  I shake my head to myself. No, there’s no way around this. His brother is one of my best friends. I clear out my phone and place it back in my purse. I may have been a drunken idiot last night, but the one thing I am not, is a coward. I’m an adult, and I will take responsibility for my actions, no matter how irrational they are.

  I walk to the bedroom door on a mission to find the kitchen. I’m starving, hung over, and pissed off at my behavior last night. I need to do something to make up for what happened outside the bar; guess cooking him breakfast will have to do.

  I didn’t pay any attention to the house last night, so I have no idea which way the kitchen is. I turn right and after a few steps I come to a door. It’s closed so I don’t open it. I walk a few more steps and come to a room on my left. It’s open, so I peek inside. It looks to be a theatre room. It has a rather large white leather couch and the biggest TV screen I have ever seen in my life hanging on the wall in front of the couch.

  I pull the door back to where it was cracked then continue walking. I come to the end of the hallway and notice another door to the left. I push it open to reveal a set of stairs. It must be a basement. I take a few more steps and to the right is the kitchen. I walk in and stop in awe. It’s huge, with all stainless steel appliances and a big kitchen island.

  I started to go through the fridge and pantry, trying to find something to cook us for breakfast. I find things to make biscuits, gravy and sausage. I find the coffee bags and the coffee pot over in the corner. I start to make the coffee, thinking it might help calm my nerves from last night.

  I can’t stop thinking about last night. What am I going to do? I don’t know! Does it even really matter that I don’t have a clue? Like I said once; this is what he does. He uses women, then throws them away. Why should I care what did or didn’t happen between us? I turn the coffee pot on and start looking around for his pans. I turn on the stove top and start cooking as my mind keeps replaying last night.

  It’s not long before I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up; it’s crazy how in tune my body is to his since last night. It’s like it’s drawn to him now. He hasn’t said anything, but I know he’s watching. I continue to cook, wondering how I’m going to get out of here. Maybe he’ll just take me home right away. Maybe I’m putting too much thought into this and he wants me to leave just as badly. I can’t help but feel disappointed that he wants me to leave. Does that mean I want to stay? Of course I want to stay!

  “Good morning.” He finally speaks to me.

  Thank God!

  �
�Morning.”

  Keeping my back to him I reach over to pour him a cup of coffee, but stop when I feel him come up behind me. I’m still wearing his t-shirt so I can feel the sweatpants he’s wearing against my bare legs and his t-shirt against my arms. He wraps his hands around my waist, pulling me against his chest, and my heart starts to pick up speed.

  “Now,” he whispers as he leans down to speak in my ear, “are you going to tell me what’s wrong? Or am I going to have to make you tell me?” He pulls me further in to him, his hard length pushing up against my back.

  A shiver runs through my body at his words. I would love to know how he plans on making me tell him the problem, but of course I can’t ask him that.

  “It’s nothing.” I flip the sausage.

  “Bullshit,” he says so softly that it’s intimidating.

  His arms leaves my waist as he reaches over to turn off the stove. He slides both hands over my shoulders and up the sides of my neck. I take in a shaky breath as he slides them into my hair, pulling it back and off of my neck. He pulls it into one hand, then tugs my head backwards and to the right, keeping a tight hold on it. His other hand comes around my neck and grabs my chin, keeping my head in place. I can’t pull away and my heart is racing so fast I know he can feel it. I close my eyes and just let my body feel his hands on me, but he tightens the hold he has in my hair, making me whimper.

  I open my eyes.

  “You’re lying. Tell me what’s wrong, Angel. Did I hurt you last night? I didn’t mean to be so rough.”

  I get so lost in those blue eyes that it takes me a moment to comprehend what he just said. He thinks he hurt me? Why does he think that? Last night was wonderful. Well he was wonderful. Me, not so much.

  “I….um, I’m embarrassed.” I feel my throat start to clog up. Why do I feel so vulnerable right now?

  His eyes go wide. “Of what?”

  “Everything I did last night. Slapping you...begging you...how I sucked at, you know.” I can’t even say it.