Once Burned

by Suzie O'Connell

  She chewed on her lip for a moment, wishing she didn’t have the fears she did. Resting her head on Henry’s shoulder and letting him comfort her, she took a deep breath and plunged ahead. Better to just get it out. “It’s stupid to even think this, but when I see you playing with Dylan, a part of me wonders if Noah and I are just a rebound family for you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She didn’t answer immediately, taking a moment to gauge his response. He didn’t sound offended but rather curious and concerned.

  “You thought you were a father, and you didn’t just accept that, you embraced it, and I understand how painful it was when that was taken away from you. I’m not saying I’d blame you if you’re confusing love for us with the filling of that hole because how could I when I know how much that hurt you?”

  “I hope I haven’t give you any reason to doubt how I feel about you and Noah.”

  “No, you haven’t. You’ve been nothing but committed to us, which is why I feel so thickheaded for letting this fear get a foothold, but I can’t help it. I’m sorry.”

  “There’s nothing to be sorry for, Lindsay. How you feel isn’t a reflection of either of us or our relationship. It’s a reflection of assholes like Max and Logan, who taught you to look for every relationship including ours to fail like all the rest have.”

  The words, so similar to what her mother had warned her against more than once in the last few weeks, made her sit back and stare at him.

  “Your parents and I had a good long talk yesterday while you and Mom were baking pies and cookies with the kids,” Henry explained, “and they advised me I might have to work hard to break those habits. I want to be Dylan’s godfather, Lindsay, because he was a big part of my life and had a major impact on me, but I won’t do it if it makes you too uncomfortable.”

  Again, she let him hold her close as a sea of doubt swirled through her. She loved him so much, and she wanted what they had to be the real deal, but he and her parents were right. Max and Logan had taught her too well to expect love to fail.

  “What can I do to prove to you that I’ll never do what they did to you?”

  “I don’t know,” she whispered, cursing the tremble in her voice and the tears that burned her eyes. “What you’ve already done should have proven it to me.”

  “But you still doubt.”

  She nodded. “And I don’t want to. I want to just believe and let go of everything else.”

  “There’s something more I think I can do to prove it. Stay here, and I’ll be right back.”

  Lindsay climbed off his lap and stood beside the picnic table to wait, shivering in the absence of the heat of his body. She hugged herself to ward off the chill and let her gaze wander. As her eyes took in the winter wonderland that was Northstar, she asked herself if she could live and work here even if she and Henry didn’t work out. It looked like she already had a job if she wanted it—giddily, she admitted that she did—and it was true that this place held a freedom and peace for her that existed nowhere else. Noah loved it here, too, and though he hadn’t asked her if they could stay, she imagined he would the second he realized it was a possibility. She didn’t know how she felt about him going to such a small school, but Henry and his brothers and Beth and Vince and many others she’d met in Northstar had, and they all seemed to have benefitted greatly from their experience.

  Her doubts fell silent, drowned out by hope. Her dream of opening her own catering company was, for the first time in almost a decade, right in font of her just waiting for her to reach for it. She still had no idea how to reach for it, but she definitely wanted to. She’d done everything else by herself, and if need be, she could do that, too. Of course, she didn’t want to do it by herself. She wanted Henry to be right there, standing beside her and reminding her that she could because he had that power—the power to make her believe she was strong enough to conquer the world if she so wanted.

  That’s your proof right there, a voice in the back of her mind whispered. If you were just a rebound to him, he wouldn’t bother to lift you up.

  Henry strode around the corner of the house with Noah almost bouncing through the deepening snow. A matching wonder claimed both their faces, and right then, the sight of them together melted her heart. My boys.

  “I know what you and I feel is the real thing, Henry. I believe,” she said when they were close enough to hear. And when she let go of the doubt, she knew it was the truth. “I don’t need any more proof.”

  “Well, tough because you’re going to get it.”

  He handed her what two thick pamphlets, and when he gestured for her to look at them, she saw that one was for the culinary arts program at Olympic College back home in Washington and the other was for a business management degree at the university in Devyn.

  “Devyn doesn’t have a culinary degree,” Henry explained, “but they do offer a restaurant emphasis as one of the options for business management. Since you’re already so skilled in the culinary side of a catering business, I thought a business degree might be more useful to you. And before you even think of asking how you’re going to pay for it, let me show you my proof.”

  “These weren’t it?”

  “Nope. Noah, come here for a second.”

  When her son leaned in close to him, Henry pulled a small box wrapped in heavy metallic blue paper the color of a clear night sky and tied with a ribbon of silver gossamer. He handed the box to Noah to open. With a delicacy Lindsay had never seen, Noah carefully unwrapped the box and lifted the lid off. Inside, there was another box, one with a hinge that looked suspiciously like a ring box. She stared at Henry, but his attention was on Noah, whose face shifted into a mask of shock when he opened the smaller box.

  “What do you say, bud?” Henry lifted his eyes and met Lindsay’s gaze.

  “You really mean it?” Noah asked, eyes wide with hope and excitement.

  “That’s what this is for—to prove that I mean it. So… may I?”

  “Oh my God! Yes, of course you can marry my mom!”

  With his arm around Noah’s shoulders, Henry took the smaller ring box out of the larger white box and turned it so Lindsay could see. Cushioned on black velvet was a rose gold ring with a round blue diamond flanked on either side by two midsized white diamonds and channels of smaller white diamonds.

  “I saw it that day Noah and I went to the mall to get your mixer, and it made me think of your beautiful red hair and your stunning blue eyes. When I was sure, I went back and bought it.” His voice was soft, disarming. “What do you think, Lindsay? Will you be my wife?”

  Her heart stopped in her chest, and for a moment, she forgot how to breathe. Yes, she thought. Just say yes already. “I… I can’t.”

  “But, Mom,” Noah said, “he loves you. He even loves me. And you love him, too, right?”

  “Yes, I do. So much.”

  “So why can’t you marry him?”

  “Max.”

  “What does Max have to do with us?” Henry asked.

  “I can’t say yes until you’ve met him and know what you’re getting into.”

  “Do you want to say yes?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Then say it because I’m not going to change my mind about you no matter what happens when I meet him.”

  “But you don’t know him.”

  “Do me a favor, will you, and try the ring on.”

  She was afraid to. Afraid she would lose the strength to say no if she did. But she held out her shaking hand and let Henry slide the gorgeous ring on her finger. It was a perfect fit, which in itself shocked her because the standard size seven most engagement rings were didn’t fit her. Upon close inspection of the band, she noticed the tiny mark left when it had been resized.

  “How did you know?” she asked.

  “I asked your parents… right after I asked them for their blessing, which, by the way, they gave with an almost overwhelming enthusiasm.”

  “Of course they were enth
usiastic,” she murmured. “They adore you. All right! Yes, I’ll marry you!”

  Henry picked her up, and she beamed, hugging him tightly.

  “But you can change your mind if you decide you can’t deal with Max.”

  “You’ve made that clear, but I won’t. Max doesn’t matter. Sorry, Noah, but he doesn’t. Not to this.” Setting Lindsay on her feet but keeping one arm around her, he pulled Noah into the embrace. “All that matters is us. You and Noah and me.”

  “What about Dylan?”

  “What do you think I should do?” He lifted her left hand and kissed her knuckles. “Now that you officially have a say.”

  She inhaled deeply and let it out in a sigh. “Your heart is telling you to say yes, so that’s what your answer should be. I think it will bring you far more peace than trying to cut him out of your life would.”

  “I think you’re right. Now, regarding college and paying for it, since I know you won’t let me do it, I found a bunch of information on scholarships and grants you can apply for.”

  She tightened her arms around him and buried her face against his neck, fighting hard not to cry. “I’m not sure I deserve you.”

  “That’s all right because I’m certain you do,” he replied. “Let’s go break the news, shall we?”

  The three of them headed back inside and immediately addressed Mel and Doug. Dylan reached for Henry, who shook his head.

  “We’ve made a decision about your proposal.”

  “And?” Mel asked.

  “My answer is yes, but….” He paused long enough to make sure it sank in that he had conditions. “It will be on our terms. We’ll maintain a friendship with you and Dylan and even get together now and again for holidays and birthdays and the like, but I will not be another parent for him, and I will not be in any way responsible for taking care of him. I have my own family, and I will not put your family before them. Ever. I have one more condition. If I am to be Dylan’s godfather, Lindsay will be his godmother because we’re in this together.”

  Lindsay glanced sharply at him, at once miffed that he hadn’t asked if she wanted to be Dylan’s godmother and stunned and gratified that he was so sure of them that he would make that demand. He glanced at her with his expression waxing briefly apologetic and pleading. She nodded. Yes, she was willing.

  “Are you both amenable to those terms?” Henry asked.

  “Your terms? We?” Mel asked.

  “Yes, we and our terms as in Lindsay’s and mine.” Henry lifted her hand to display her engagement ring.

  “Congratulations, man,” Doug said, looking interestingly relieved. “Isn’t that great for Henry, Mel?”

  “Yes. Congratulations.”

  “And yes, those terms are acceptable,” Doug added. “Right, Mel?”

  “Yes, those terms are fine.”

  Melanie’s tone confirmed Lindsay’s and Tracie’s concerns that she was thinking primarily of Henry as an insurance policy, but Lindsay no longer had any reason to believe Henry would allow that idea to survive. She wasn’t proud of the smugness that pulled her head and spine straighter, but she was proud of Henry for reaffirming the line he’d drawn when he’d walked out of Mel’s life.

  “Dammit, Henry,” Nick muttered across the room. “You said you didn’t have any big announcements to make this evening.”

  Henry shrugged at his grinning older brother. “Sorry, bro. Circumstances moved it up the schedule.”

  “Well, we’re not going to wait any longer just so you can have the spotlight tonight because I’m sure there are a few here who’ve probably figured it out anyhow.”

  “Far as I’m concerned, the more good news, the merrier.”

  “Good news?” Tracie asked.

  Nick held his hand out to his wife and hauled her to her feet. The way the light played over her body, their news was obvious, and Lindsay suspected Beth had worn that particular sweater for that exact reason.

  “Oh my goodness. Beth! How did I not notice?”

  “You’ve had two beautiful new soon-to-be daughters to think about,” Nick’s wife replied. “And I’ve tried to hide it until we were sure it was going to take. But the real news isn’t that I’m pregnant.”

  Matching frowns from everyone in the room, and for what seemed like at least five minutes, no one spoke. Beth nodded and Nick, and he stooped to pull a present out from under the tree. He handed it to Tracie, who unwrapped it without taking her eyes off her eldest son and his wife. At last, she looked down at the gift and breathed, “Are you kidding me?”

  Nick and Beth grinned, shaking their heads.

  “What is it?” John asked. Joining his wife, he peered over her shoulder. “Twins?”

  “Yep.”

  “When are they due?”

  “Mid July.”

  “Looks like the Hammond clan is growing by leaps and bounds this Christmas,” Tracie said, turning her head over her shoulder to kiss her husband.

  Henry turned to Lindsay as congratulations were offered to Nick and Beth, Henry and Lindsay, and Aaron and Skye. Clasping her face, he kissed her to the cheers of their families.

  * * *

  Following Lindsay’s directions, Henry navigated the winding streets of Max and Giselle Ulrich’s upscale suburban neighborhood, glancing occasionally at the ring glittering on Lindsay’s hand to keep his heart rate at a steady if slightly elevated level. It wasn’t nervousness that coursed through him. It was the urge to punch Max the second he met the man. Noah hadn’t wanted to leave Northstar to spend a couple days with his father and had, last night, lowered himself to begging. He’d even called his father to ask if he could come some other time, but Max had staunchly refused.

  So, here they were, pulling into a slushy gray driveway in front of a two-story mini-mansion. Henry sneered as he climbed out of his truck and took in the sight of the house’s sharply peaked roofs and professionally landscaped yard. Max and his wife could afford this but they couldn’t be troubled to help Lindsay buy things Noah needed? They climbed the steep, terraced walk to the front door and knocked. Moments later, a stunning woman who could have graced magazine covers opened the door. Standing beside her, Lindsay was comparatively plain… and ten times more exquisite because hers was a natural attractiveness bolstered by the beauty of her fighting spirit. On her heels was a man Henry guessed was Noah’s father. Max was a couple inches shorter than Henry and dressed smartly in slacks and a crisp button-up shirt and looked Henry over with all the haughtiness his rich suburbanite abode and attire encapsulated.

  “What is he doing here, Lindsay?” Max demanded, turning sharply to her. “I distinctly remember tell you I didn’t want him around our son.”

  Henry replied before either Lindsay or Giselle could recover from their shock at Max’s less than civil greeting. “You gave up any right to tell Lindsay who should or should not be allowed around her son when you left her to raise Noah alone. Let’s get something out in the open right now. I don’t like you any more than you like me, and we can either make asses out of ourselves by getting into a knock-down-drag-out fight right here on your front steps with all your neighbors watching, or we can act like grown men and set aside our dislike and prevent every dealing we have with each other from today forward from turning into a brawl.” He extended his hand in a peace offering, and Max stared at it for a moment. “It’s your call, and I strongly suggest you take my offer for Noah’s sake because Lindsay and I are engaged, so we will have to deal with each other a lot.”

  Max continued to ignore his hand, so he dropped it.

  “I’ll excuse your behavior because you don’t know me. Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Henry Hammond, youngest of three sons. My family owns a large cattle ranch in Northstar, Montana, that I helped them run until after I graduated from college with a degree in industrial arts. After that, I worked as a welder and machinist in Denver—making six figures a year, if you care to know—until I moved back home to the ranch in August, which is when I met Lindsay. I love
Noah as much as I would love my own son, and I will do everything in my power to make sure he knows that and what it is to be a good man.”

  He refrained—barely—from adding, That’s a lesson he sure as hell isn’t likely to learn from you.

  “Get off my front steps,” Max snarled. “And stay away from my son.”

  “I don’t want him to stay away from me,” Noah snapped. “He loves me a lot more than you do, and he wants me around!”

  The unexpected outburst cooled Henry’s anger, and equally unexpectedly, one corner of his mouth lifted in amusement and fondness. They were going to have a wonderful life together, the three of them, and as he’d told Lindsay, Max couldn’t take that love away from them, and if he tried, well, he’d only end up making it even stronger.

  “Noah,” he said quietly, giving the boy’s shoulder a squeeze. “It’s all right. You don’t need to defend me because your dad’s just looking out for you, doing the same thing I would in his place. Aren’t you, Max?”

  Noah’s father didn’t respond. He stared at his son in utter disbelief. Noah glared back, unflinching.

  “Not fun to be on the receiving end of his frustration, is it, Max,” Lindsay remarked without heat. “I’ve been putting up with it for years, and it isn’t fair when I’m not the parent who keeps routinely breaking his heart. And since it’s patently obvious Noah spending New Years with you is more about avenging whatever wrong you think I did to you, I’m going to change my mind. No, Noah, you don’t have to stay. You can come with Henry and me, so why don’t you go wait in the car?”

  Noah didn’t have to be told twice. He bounded down the steps and had ensconced himself in Henry’s truck before Max could pull the words of his objection together.

  “No,” he said. “I have rights to see my son.”

  “Yes, you do, but the beauty of our open agreement is that we never specified when or for how long. You’re the one who wanted it that way, remember?” Lindsay glanced up at Henry and flashed him a smile before turning again to her ex. “It’s past time I let go of whatever ridiculous guilt I feel over your unwillingness to be a father and decide what is best for my son.”