Ruined

by Jackie Ashenden

  “We have to act like a real couple...”

  The solution? Mind-blowingly real pleasure!

  Dane “Smoke” Kingsolver and Cat Livingston need to fake a relationship to get her abusive ex off her back. Convincing people their friendship has heated up to scorching levels is unexpectedly easy! But when their red-hot chemistry threatens to ruin everything they’ve ever known can they go back to what they had before? And do they even want to?

  “DARE is Harlequin’s hottest line yet. Every book should come with a free fan. I dare you to try them!”

  —Tiffany Reisz, international bestselling author

  Jackie Ashenden writes dark, emotional stories with alpha heroes who’ve just got the world to their liking only to have it blown wide apart by their kick-ass heroines. She lives in Auckland, New Zealand, with her husband, the inimitable Dr. Jax, two kids and two rats. When she’s not torturing alpha males and their gutsy heroines she can be found drinking chocolate martinis, reading anything she can lay her hands on, wasting time on social media, or being forced to go mountain biking with her husband. To keep up to date with Jackie’s new releases and other news sign up to her newsletter at jackieashenden.com.

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  If you liked Ruined, why not try

  Sweet Thing by Nicola Marsh

  My Royal Temptation by Riley Pine

  Make Me Want by Katee Robert

  Discover more at Harlequin.com

  RUINED

  JACKIE ASHENDEN

  To Jenny.

  You’ve been waiting so patiently for the end of Cat and Smoke’s story

  and here it is at last.

  Hope you like it. :-)

  Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Epilogue

  Excerpt from Sweet Thing by Nicola Marsh

  CHAPTER ONE

  Cat

  IT’S ALWAYS BAD when you’re in the kind of trouble that requires the help of an outlaw motorcycle club. It’s especially bad when you know you’ll do anything to get that help.

  But what do you do when your kid’s in danger? You fight any demons, slay any dragons. It’s hard when you can’t slay those dragons on your own, though. When you have to pay in order to have them slain for you.

  I would have paid anything to get Annie away from her father.

  Which was why I’d ended up standing outside the Knights of Ruin MC’s clubhouse, in the rain, at midnight on a Saturday. In the middle of one of the loudest parties I’d ever heard.

  I didn’t want to go in. I always swore I wouldn’t.

  But when the devil has your kid, and the cops think everything’s fine, what the hell are you supposed to do? There was only one person who could help me, and unfortunately he was inside.

  Dane Kingsolver, aka Smoke, my best friend since I was a kid and a Knights enforcer.

  Who was not answering his goddamn phone.

  The Knights’ clubhouse was in an old brick warehouse on the outskirts of Brooklyn. There were hogs lined up like toys outside, a couple of prospects hanging around looking after them, a couple more on the door. Music blared—the hard-driving beat of heavy rock. A bunch of girls were talking to the prospect on the door, their hair in artfully styled manes, their skirts up to their navels. All looking for a piece of danger, of wildness.

  Idiots. They didn’t know the real danger they were getting themselves into, and I almost wanted to go over there and tell them. But I didn’t. They wouldn’t listen. I’d done it enough times to know that.

  As they disappeared inside I walked up to the prospect, who was standing with his hands in the pockets of his low-slung jeans, probably thinking he was God because he got to say who got in and who stayed out. He was young, with pretty blue eyes and still a hint of softness around his mouth.

  That wouldn’t last long. Soon he’d be a monster like all the rest.

  He eyed me suspiciously, clearly not knowing who I was. Not that he would. I never came down here if I could help it.

  I met his gaze—never look away from a snarling dog. ‘I need to see Smoke.’

  My voice sounded flat and definitely don’t-fuck-with-me. Don’t give them an opening, because the next thing you know you’re on your knees with two black eyes, your dignity and strength in pieces on the floor.

  Never again. Never fucking again.

  The prospect looked even more suspicious. ‘Who’s asking?’

  ‘Cat. Cat Livingston.’

  The kid’s gaze took me in and I knew what he was seeing. A frazzled-looking older woman in skinny jeans and a faded Ramones T-shirt. No make-up. Stained sneakers with the rubber coming off at the toe.

  Unimpressive. Deeply unimpressive.

  I didn’t give a shit. I wasn’t here to impress him. I was here to see Smoke. To save my kid. Because if there was one thing I knew, it was that Smoke loved that kid nearly as much as I did and he’d do anything for her. He’d do anything for me, too—we had each other’s backs like that.

  ‘Yeah... See, I don’t know you,’ the prospect said, ‘And I don’t fucking think—’

  ‘I don’t care what you think.’ I cut him off curtly. ‘I’m Smoke’s best friend, and he’s going to be pissed if you don’t let me in right now.’

  I didn’t want to tell him about Annie. I felt like a big enough fool as it was, without this asshole knowing all about my business.

  ‘Hey, watch your mouth,’ the prospect growled, full of his own self-importance. ‘Show a little goddamn respect.’

  Great. So I was going to be put in my place by a teenage asshole while my violent ex had my kid. And all because of a little ‘respect’. Typical biker.

  I’d opened my mouth to tell him what he could do with his goddamn respect when Tiger came out through the doors, cigarette in one hand, beer in the other. Tiger was one of Smoke’s best buddies, tall and leanly muscled like Smoke. He had dark, almost-black hair that glinted with copper in some lights and strange amber eyes that had apparently given him his road name.

  Tiger was an asshole, but he was less of an asshole than this idiot in front of me.

  ‘Hey, Cat,’ Tiger said as he spotted me, his deep voice rough. ‘What’s brought you down here?’

  Ignoring the prospect, I looked over at Tiger, who was standing at the top of the steps. ‘Is Smoke around? I need to see him. It’s urgent.’

  I didn’t particularly want to talk to Tiger about Annie either. He was opinionated about a lot of things, and kids was one of them.

  Tiger leaned against the doorframe, lifted his beer and took a sip. He looked casual, but the gleam in his amber eyes was anything but. ‘Yeah, he’s around. But I don’t know if you’d want to see him right now.’

  ‘Why not? Like I said, it’s urgent.’ I shifted on my feet, not wanting to give away too much. ‘Lik
e...life or death urgent.’

  ‘Uh-huh.’ Tiger’s gaze sharpened, though he kept on leaning against the doorframe lazily. ‘Well, he’s down the corridor. By the bedrooms.’

  That was all I needed to hear. Not wanting to waste any time, I didn’t spare the glowering prospect a glance as I went quickly up the steps. ‘Thanks, Tiger,’ I murmured as I slipped through the doors past him.

  He gave a low laugh. ‘Don’t thank me. Just remember that this is a party. Don’t blame me if you run into something you don’t like.’

  I should have listened to him. But I didn’t. My head was too full of my kid and the asshole who’d picked her up from school and hadn’t brought her back like he’d told me he would. Who wouldn’t respond to my texts or calls.

  Fear sat heavy and cold in my gut, but I tried to ignore it as I stepped into the clubhouse. Panicking wouldn’t help anyone—least of all Annie.

  ‘Watch out for yourself, Cat,’ Tiger called behind me. ‘You know what a Knights party is like. An unspoken-for woman is fair game.’

  Actually, I didn’t know what a Knights party was like. I’d never been to one. But Smoke had told me enough about them. Lots of drinking, smoking and loud music. Drugs. Public sex.

  Sounded hideous to me, but then again, I wasn’t a Knight and I didn’t go to parties, so it wasn’t my place to judge.

  Still, as I made my way down the corridor I realised I was in the thick of it now. And, yeah, I was damn well judging.

  The common area of the clubhouse looked like a group of frat boys had gone wild in a huge draughty warehouse—fat black leather couches, pictures of bikes and naked women on the wall, a couple of tables covered in beer bottles. The air stank of cigarette smoke, joints and spilled beer.

  There was a bar down one end, where a guy was pouring shots onto the stomach of a mostly naked girl who was laughing and in danger of overturning the shot glasses.

  I headed straight through the doorway without stopping or looking around, trying not to draw the attention of the mass of leather-clad bikers sitting on the couches or standing around near the bar. There were a couple of guys over by a pool table with two very naked women who carried cues, and a few who looked like they were having a serious conversation in one corner—except the woman had her head in one lap while her hand worked the guy next him.

  Jesus. Smoke hadn’t been kidding about these parties.

  I’d only been in the clubhouse a couple of times, but I knew where the bedrooms were and I headed straight there, with my attention firmly on the doorway that led to them. Only to be stopped by a massive dude with tats everywhere, a heavy black beard and the weirdest pale green eyes I’d ever seen.

  ‘Big Red’ the name on his cut said. The VP. I hadn’t met him before, but Smoke had told me about him. Meanest motherfucker this side of Genghis Khan, apparently.

  Just my luck to run into him.

  ‘Hey, darlin’, whatcha doing here?’ he asked lazily. ‘I ain’t seen you before.’

  I gave him a smile, trying to be nice. ‘I’m looking for Smoke. Tiger said he was down this way.’

  ‘Aw, you don’t need to see Smoke. You can see me.’

  Great—first the prospect, now this guy. Could this night get any better?

  I widened my smile. ‘Perhaps I could come see you afterward?’

  He laughed, raised a hand and gave my chin a pinch—which I did not appreciate. ‘Smoke’s kinda busy at the moment, sweetheart.’

  ‘Why? What’s he doing?’

  Big Red laughed again. ‘He’s with Hannah. He won’t want to be interrupted.’

  Of course. Smoke was with a woman. Well, every other guy appeared to be, so why not him?

  Simmering anger coiled tight in my gut. So, not only had I been forced to come down here to beg for help during a goddamn party, I was now being forced to interrupt my best friend having sex. And all because my asshole ex, Justin, hadn’t brought Annie home when he’d promised.

  I caught that anger, held fast to it—because it sure as hell was better than the cold fear that lay beneath it.

  Keeping the smile plastered firmly to my face, I sidestepped the massive VP. ‘Oh, I think he’ll appreciate an extra,’ I said as I moved past him, giving him a wink.

  Leaving Big Red safely behind me, I stepped through the door into the corridor beyond. It was quiet back here; the only sounds were the beat of some kind of heavy house music coming from behind one door and the groans coming from behind another.

  Oh, God, please don’t let him be behind that door.

  I moved down the corridor and was wondering where the hell he was and whether I needed to start knocking on doors and embarrassing myself, when I rounded the corner.

  And stopped.

  Dead.

  A tall figure leaned against the wall. A familiar figure. Six three. Wide shoulders. Lean hips. Hair the colour of black ink cut short and close to his skull. Cheekbones God himself would envy. A strong, hard jaw. Straight nose and straight black brows. A mouth that apparently had sin written all over it—at least it did according to some of my friends.

  Smoke. The person I knew best in the world and who knew me best, too. Whom I’d met when I was five and he was seven and we were next-door neighbours. I was his friend the moment he jumped on his skateboard, a skinny little kid in torn jeans and scraped knees, showing off for the new girl next door.

  He’d done magic on that board. He’d been like the wind—smooth and fluid and powerful. Even at seven. Right then and there I decided I was going to marry him.

  I didn’t, of course.

  Because if I had I certainly wouldn’t be here, standing in a bikers’ clubhouse, watching him with his long fingers buried in the dark hair of the woman kneeling in front of him. Obviously getting a blow job.

  A wave of the weirdest heat went through me. He always had women hanging around, and I’d seen him making out with them on more than one occasion and it had never bothered me. But there was something about this that hit me like the flame from a blowtorch.

  He’d always been a quiet, guarded kind of guy. Never let anyone see what he was thinking, kept everything locked down. Even with me. And if you tried asking him about himself he’d give you a couple of sentences then turn the question back on you—which made him a great listener.

  But that’s why they called him Smoke. Because it was just a smokescreen, a distraction so he didn’t have to talk about himself.

  Yet there was no smokescreen now, and the expression on his face...

  I couldn’t look away.

  I’d always known he was a beautiful man, but I’d never felt it before. Now, though, I was mesmerised by the intensity that burned in his features. By the fierce hunger that drew his impressive jaw tight and made the powerful tendons of his neck stand out.

  He had his attention on the woman as if every movement she made was incredibly important, and his mouth was moving as he whispered things I couldn’t hear. I found myself wondering what kind of expression would be in those dark eyes of his. Whether they would be burning with hunger, too.

  And what it would be like if he looked at you that way, too.

  Shit. I shoved the thought away. Hard. Smoke and I had never gone there and never would. Once, when I was about sixteen, I’d had a major crush on him, but he never gave me any hint that he felt the same way—not once.

  So I’d pushed it aside, forgotten about it. And I definitely didn’t want all those old feelings bubbling up again now. No fucking way.

  I loved Smoke—he was my best friend. But when it came to sex, men were nothing but trouble, and I didn’t want anything to do with them. Perhaps forever.

  As if he’d sensed my presence, Smoke’s head came up sharply, his black eyes slamming into mine.

  And the weird heat that had me gripped intensified.

  Holy shit. There was so
mething in his gaze that made my knees weak for a second, that made me dizzy. Made me forget who I was.

  As if he was looking at me for the first time in his life and really seeing me.

  It was wrong and strange, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. So I looked away, my face feeling like it was about to go up in flames.

  ‘Cat?’

  His voice was usually quiet and deep, but now there was an edge to it, rough and husky, that made something inside me shiver.

  ‘What the fuck are you doing here?’

  I stared fixedly at the wall opposite. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. But...I need you.’

  ‘Christ, I’m a little busy—’

  ‘It’s Annie.’

  He went silent. After a moment he muttered something to the woman kneeling at his feet. There was the sound of rustling fabric, the jingle of the chains attached to Smoke’s low-slung jeans, a zipper being done up.

  I tried to will the blush in my cheeks away, tried to calm the fast beating of my heart. I had no idea what was wrong with me, but whatever it was I didn’t have time for it.

  The woman hurried past me, giving me a pissed-off look. Clearly she didn’t like being interrupted either.

  ‘Talk to me,’ Smoke said shortly.

  I took a moment to calm myself, then looked back at him.

  The expression on his face was the same as it always was—guarded, wary. The walls behind his dark eyes were impregnable. That fierce, hungry look was gone as if it had never been. And there was a part of me that couldn’t help but be sad about that. A part that wanted to see it again.

  Getting a hold of myself, I ignored that part. ‘I’m sorry—I really didn’t want to come out here. But it’s Justin. He picked Annie up from school and was supposed to have dropped her off four hours ago. He didn’t. He’s not answering his phone or his texts or...’

  I stopped, feeling a bubble of panic welling up inside me. I didn’t want to go to pieces now, and there was something about knowing Smoke was here, that he had my back, that made the tension inside me relax.

  ‘Hey,’ he said quietly, and his familiar, deep voice eased the panicked feeling. ‘It’s okay. We’ll get her. You tell anyone else about this?’