A Mother's Sin

by Mia Henry

  They would often demonstrate their affection to Ella. They would verbally tell her how much they loved her and thanked her for helping them. From school one day Stella sent Ella the following text message, ‘U R the world’s best aunty and so caring and thanks for everything you’ve done 4 us <3 <3 <3 <3.’

  Most gratifying to Ella, though, was how they were blossoming at school, and how well they were keeping up with their school chores and assignments.

  This is a report for the Family Advocate from Stella’s class teacher at the end of the first school term, not more than two months after she started at the school:

  ‘Since arriving at the school at the beginning of the year, Stella has made tremendous progress. The standard of work that she is producing in the classroom is pleasing. Stella is conscientious and a diligent pupil who takes a great deal of pride in her work. Her results in her class tests indicate that she is preparing well for them. Homework is always completed on time. She is involved in the school’s extra-curricular activities and displays fine athletic ability.

  Stella is not hesitant to ask for assistance when faced with any difficulties. Socially she has a good rapport with her classmates and is most popular with her peers. Stella has established friendships with a number of fellow pupils. She is respectful and well mannered and has impressed all those who teach her.

  Emotionally she appears to be coping well with all that she is faced and although there were tearful days earlier in the year, she now appears to be happy and settled.

  As a Grade 7 pupil, Stella has been appointed a monitor and she has fulfilled her various roles and responsibilities admirably.

  Stella always looks neat and presentable and wears her school uniform with pride. She was in my opinion underweight at the onset of the year but has since put on some weight and looks a far healthier child for it.’

  It was a report so different to the one just a few months earlier from her previous school.

  Richard, Ella and the family were bursting with pride at Stella’s achievements. Her marks were on par with class average. Her class teacher remarked on her class report:

  ‘Stella has settled superbly at school. She is an enthusiastic worker who always gives of her best. Stella displays an excellent range of ideas and initiative. She can certainly be well pleased with her achievement this term.’

  The principal’s comment on the report was:

  An outstanding report – congratulations Stella. Stella has settled down so well at school and there has been a marked improvement in her work ethic. Well done, Stella. I am so proud of you!’

  There was a complete turnaround in not even three months. She had proved to herself that she could do it. She could overcome her turmoil and show her true self and potential.

  The teacher’s report to the Family Advocate about Gina was just as encouraging. It read:

  ‘I have had the privilege of working with Gina since her arrival at the school at the beginning of this school year.

  Gina has settled in very well. She is well looked after by her guardian and has flourished since starting at our school. She has a healthy appetite and always has what she needs in terms of lunches and extra items needed for her sports activities. Gina has become stronger and has really developed into a sociable member of our class.

  She appeared very reserved and insecure when she arrived. I am happy to say that this has all changed and Gina is a very happy and sociable learner. She has forged some very strong friendships. Gina has not only gained confidence but has formed a strong relationship with her guardian and me. She is able to open up and share things that are confusing her. Gina has also become more self-assured and is happy knowing her routine and is aware that she is, surrounded by people who want to help her and are always there for her. She has made good progress academically as well.

  Gina initially struggled with her reading, phonics and handwriting. It was very evident that Gina had either missed a substantial amount of school, or if she was attending was unable to absorb the information. On reassessment she had shown great improvement in her reading and is filling in the missing gaps with regards to her phonics. Gina’s numeracy has also improved and she is very eager to tackle new challenges, also something that has developed since her arrival. She has also had assistance from a remedial teacher. Gina really enjoys these individual lessons. As far as her handwriting and spatial awareness, we have had her eyes tested and found that she has a cross dominance issue, which is being addressed, by her guardian and myself. I have further suggested a scholastic assessment as I feel Gina will benefit from an Occupational Therapist. Mrs. Ella Kennedy, her guardian has agreed to this and we will be following up on this soon.

  Gina and I have formed a very strong bond and I have enjoyed seeing her blossom over the last few weeks.’

  Despite the obstacles along the way, the girls were flourishing. It had been a bumpy road, very trying at times, but the effort and endurance was paying off in how well the girls were thriving in a happy and structured family environment. Their destination now looked promising.

  CHAPTER 23

  THE ONGOING OBSTACLES

  During the early days of the girls stay, much dirty laundry would surface. Innocently the girls would say something that indicated what life had really been like for them on the farm.

  A few weeks after their arrival, Ella had collected Stella, Gina, Troy and Amy from their schools. Travelling together in the car, something about dagga came on over the radio.

  Gina asked, ‘Is that what Pedro smokes?’

  ‘I am afraid it is’, responded Ella

  ‘My mom also smokes it. My mom and Pedro would roll this brown stuff in newspaper then smoke it. I asked my mother what it was and she said it was just homemade cigarettes’, Gina added.

  ‘Where they together when they did that? Did they smoke those cigarettes together? Ella asked.

  ‘Yes, they would go pick up the stuff from a place down the road from our farm.’

  Ella asked her, ‘If you had to take your dad there and show him where it is, would you remember how to get there?’

  Gina responded, ‘Yes it’s easy.’

  She then proceeded to freely express herself concerning other things she had seen on the farm. Ella just listened. Stella never disputed anything choosing to say very little.

  ‘My mom would go out a lot in the middle of the night.’ Gina chatted on. ‘There was this man, called John, who would come to our house and give my mother a lot of cash.’

  ‘You know my mom once hit Pedro so hard on his back with a golf club that it broke.’

  Troy aghast, asked, ‘Why did she do that?’

  ‘I don’t know. She just got angry with him’, she answered.

  ‘My mom and Chad would fight so much. My mom would scream and swear. One day Stella, Chad, my mom and me, were on our way home from a horse show. Along the way, on the road, we stopped and met someone in a black car. The person in the black car gave my mom a packet.’

  ‘Do you know what was in the packet?’ asked Ella

  ‘No I don’t’, Gina replied.

  Stella then added, ‘That same black car also used to come to our farm.’

  ‘Could you see who was in the car?’ enquired Ella

  ‘No, the windows were very dark’, responded Gina.

  The girls were opening up more freely about life on the farm. It was heartbreaking to Ella, that they had been exposed to so much at so young an age.

  The Family Advocate encouraged Ella to carry on being the supportive figure, which they so badly needed. It would be good to allow them to express themselves, but no matter what they said, Ella was to remain neutral, never running their own mother down. Ella could also never forget what her mother, Nancy, had instilled in her, ‘only open your mouth if what you are about to say is more beautiful than silence.’ She made a concerted effort to do that, al
though it was difficult and the children could sense when she was visibly upset due to something their mother had said or done.

  Amber was not allowed any contact with the girls for the initial few days according to the ruling by the Family Advocate. The wisdom in that ruling was clearly evident following the first call from their mother. It unsettled them terribly. They became emotionally upset and disappeared into their bedrooms, completely withdrawing from the Kennedy family. This was a recurring pattern and became so problematic that the Family Advocate ruled that Amber was only allowed to phone the girls once a week on a Sunday.

  She was allowed no visitation with the girls unless she submitted to weekly drug testing and was free from drugs for a certain period. Characteristically Amber ignored the ruling, regularly messaging and calling Stella on her cellphone. This proved very unsettling for Stella and trying for Ella.

  Time and again what Ella had attempted to rectify would topple down after Amber had been in contact with Stella.

  Eventually after Stella had spent some time in consultation with the Family Advocate, she agreed to not accept her mother’s calls or respond to her messages.

  Amber was now trying very hard to contest the reasons for her children’s removal. She did eventually confess to drugs but made out that it was only a recent problem and that she had not touched drugs since she had kicked Chad out. She would brag to her friends however, that she new how to mask the drug content in her urine. She had her own concoction that worked well, she claimed.

  She was going for weekly urine checks and they were coming up negative. After a month of the urine being negative she was granted permission to visit the girls. They weren’t permitted to go to her. She needed to come to them. She pleaded poverty and claimed that it was not her idea that she had to come to the girls. Richard kindly paid for her flights and accommodation at a hotel where she could stay with the girls for the weekend.

  Two weeks before Amber’s visit, Monica, her sister in law, was in the Bay to attend one of her friend’s fortieth birthday party. Ella thought it a good idea to take all the children to a nearby resort for the weekend and have Monica and their cousin Kent, join them.

  During the same time, Amber’s affidavit denying the accusations that were made against her, had also been sent to Ella via the lawyers. Ella needed to respond but waited for Monica so they could discuss it and if anything needed to be raised with the girls they could do it together over the weekend. Ella was very reluctant to raise any issues with the girls relating to their mother. She would listen. She would tell them that drug addiction is an illness and reassured them that as soon as their mother got better they would be allowed to go back to her. She would however, need to prove to the Family Advocate, that, she truly had changed and would not behave like she had before. She let them know that the process could take a long time.

  In Amber’s affidavit she claimed she was a good mother, she would make the children lunch for school, fix their clothing and would attend to their material and physical needs. She claimed that she would always attend school meetings but on occasion Chad would prevent her from doing so.

  A paragraph in her affidavit read:

  Stella has always expressed her dislike for her Aunt with whom she is now residing. I have no doubt that if my children were asked, they will be firm in their indication that they wish to live with me and be cared by me. I am devoted to my children and we spend much time together doing various usual activities. We always spend free time together. We would swim together, dress up together, play with animals and go window-shopping together. The children, and especially Stella would often have her friends invited to our home.

  Ella felt obliged to approach Stella. She read the above to her.

  Stella was furious. Her response, ‘my mother is such a liar! She just wants us back so now she’s lying.’

  Ella allowed Stella to read an extract from her mother’s affidavit that contradicted what the girls had been saying.

  Again Stella was irate claiming that her mother, ‘is such a liar’.

  ‘Ok, I tell you what Stella, why don’t you write down how you feel and also what you feel about your mom’, suggested Ella.

  Ella kissed Stella good night and said to her, ‘If you want to write your feelings you can. But it’s also OK if you don’t.’

  ‘I am just so scared of my mom if she finds out what I’ve written,’ replied Stella.

  ‘Your mom can’t harm you for being truthful,’ she reassured Stella.

  Ella knew Amber was lying. She didn’t need Stella to confirm it.

  The next morning when Stella hugged Ella goodbye before leaving for school she handed Ella two pieces of paper. She had written:

  My mom did not always check my homework. Most days we did not have lunch to take to school. Some days we would get tuck money.

  My mom did not attend most athletic meetings and school meetings.

  We would always stay at friends. My friends would never stay at our house.

  I have a close bond with both my parents

  I have never expressed my dislike for my aunt. I have always loved my aunt very much and enjoy being with her.

  I do want to live with my mom but when she is on drugs I do not. I am happy living with my aunt until my mom gets better

  My mom was never devoted to us because of Chad and the drugs. They often fought with each other. The main problems was hitting each other, screaming and swearing.

  Chad and my mom used to go out often at night and leave Gina and me with the kitchen boy or the maid.

  The car that stopped on the side of the road when we were coming from a horse show was the same car that often used to come to the farm. A packet was given to my mom on the side of the road. Sometimes a white car also used to come to the farm.

  Just before moving to my aunt I was sitting in my room playing my Nintendo Wii and overheard my brother and mom talking about the police coming to search the house because Chad had told the police about the drugs. My brother told my mom that everything would be alright and my mom said, No Pedro, ‘what about the stuff on top of the fridge’. So I quickly ran to the fridge, jumped on the table next to the fridge and looked inside the ice-cream tubs that were there. Saw like dried brown grass. Often there would be lots of violence like throwing things to each other and aggression. At one time, I got so scared that I took Gina with me and went to my room. Another aggressive moment was when my mother hit my brother with a golf club on his back. Signed, Stella.

  The lies were relentless. Ella felt exasperated. All her attention was directed towards the two girls. Richard had employed an au pair that helped them with their homework in the afternoon. That greatly alleviated some of the new responsibilities.

  Ella was grateful that her three children seemed strong and capable enough to be put on the sideline for a little while. They remained extremely supportive. After a couple of months Tammy moved out. She and her friend got a little apartment together. Under normal circumstances a child leaving the nest would have created all sorts of emotions but Ella hardly even remembers how she felt as all her energies were being directed towards her nieces and she was dealing with so many other emotions.

  There were times that Stella became manipulative. If Ella reprimanded her about something, Stella would sulk and disappear and then be on the cellphone texting. Obviously messaging her mother.

  The weekend before Amber would be coming to visit the girls, Monica and Ella, her three children, the girls and Monica’s son, Kent went away together. The girls were thrilled to see their aunt Monica and their cousin Kent. As soon as they arrived they couldn’t wait to show them their bedrooms.

  During their weekend away, Ella and Monica were sitting around the dining room table drinking coffee and chatting.

  Monica said to Ella, ‘the truth will all come out in the end.’

  Overhearing the conversation, Stell
a asked, ‘what are you talking about?’

  Monica responded, ‘like your mom claiming that you don’t like your aunt Ella. And, by the way, she also claims you don’t like me.’

  ‘What!!’ Stella shouted.

  ‘Well your mother says that you and Gina call me Hitler,’ added Monica.

  ‘What! Who does she get that stuff from? She is just making that junk up. I’ve never said that in my life!’ Stella was furious.

  Then Ella added, ‘Gina said the other day that your mom and Pedro roll up the dagga and smoke it together. Is that true?’

  Stella responded, ‘Yes it is! And that black car that Gina told you about? That car use to come to the farm all the time.’

  Monica then asked, ‘Why did Chad always take you girls to school?’

  ‘Because my mother was always sleeping! She was always tired!’

  ‘Was your mom very moody? Asked Monica

  ‘Yes. If I wanted something, she would be nice to me, and then the next minute she would get so angry and start screaming. Then later, all nice again.’

  Stella then continued. ‘There was one week that I saw my mom only smoke one cigarette. That was like amazing.’

  ‘Gee, I’m impressed,’ Monica replied.

  ‘It was probably because she was smoking too much dagga’, was Stella’s response.

  Then Gina added, ‘my mom did nothing for us. Chad did everything for us.’

  Then Monica turned to Gina and said, ‘By the way Pee Boo says hello.’

  Gina referred to Chad as Pee Boo.

  ‘Pee Boo!’ Did you speak to him? Please please please, tell him I say hello. And tell him that I love him soooooooooo much!’ responded a very excited Gina.

  ‘Can I call him, then you can tell him that yourself?’ Monica asked Gina.