For Forester (For You #2)

by J. Nathan

  “Before we get in any deeper.”

  He jumped to his feet, tunneling his fingers through his hair. “What the fuck, Marin?” he growled. “I’m already in deep. And so are you.”

  Ignoring his words—his accurate words, I trudged on. “Look. Right now the only ones who’ll be hurt are us.” I averted my gaze, unable to bear the anger in his eyes or the splintering of my heart.

  “CJ will be hurt, and you know it,” he said through clenched teeth.

  My eyes dropped to my lap, knowing what I needed to do. “I need someone who’s going to be here for CJ. I thought my feelings for you were enough. But I have a little boy who needs a consistent man in his life.”

  His eyes narrowed. “What?”

  “And even though you’ll be back in May, it’s only temporary. You’re heading to the pros. You know it and I know it.”

  “So?”

  “So, we’re not following you around the country. CJ needs stability, more so now than ever.”

  “You knew when you asked me to hang out with him I’d be leaving. And when you decided to be with me, that was a risk you were willing to take. What the hell has changed?”

  I couldn’t even look at him. I hated what I was doing. I hated how I was hurting him. I hated how I was hurting me. “I know this hurts right now because it’s hurting me too. I care about you, Trace. So much.” I tried to keep the quiver from my voice from breaking through, but it did. “But I can’t have CJ hurt any more than he’s already been hurt. And you and I can’t keep carrying on like a couple of newlyweds. It’s been fun. You reminded me what it’s like to be happy again. To feel so cherished. To be wanted—”

  He dropped to his knees in front of me and grabbed my hands. “Then don’t do this. I can be here for him. I can be here for you.”

  I closed my eyes, dragging in a shaky breath. “I need to be the adult here. I need to be the voice of reason. Don’t make this harder than it already is.”

  His grip tightened on mine. “You think I’m just gonna let you walk out of my life?”

  “You’re the one who’s leaving.”

  “Don’t. Don’t use that. I’m three hours away.”

  “You have games on weekends. You can’t be driving home when you have free time. I want you to enjoy school. Enjoy being a single guy with professional dreams. I don’t want your obligation to me and CJ to hold you back. You’ll end up resenting us and we don’t want that.”

  He dropped my hands and stood up, glaring down at me. “I need to get outta here before I say something I’m gonna regret and I don’t wanna do that.”

  I nodded, completely understanding that I’d blindsided him. I held back my tears until he’d walked out the door, slamming it behind him. Then I dropped to the floor and let them spill.

  Trace

  I stormed into my parents’ kitchen, slamming the door behind me. Marin had gone and lost her fucking mind.

  “Trace?”

  Great.

  My mother stepped into the kitchen, pushing her hoop earring into her ear looking ready for a night out with my dad. “I didn’t know you were coming home.”

  I shrugged, though the anger had to be rolling off me in waves.

  “Do you have plans with...”

  “Stop! Just stop acting like you really want to know?”

  She lifted a shoulder, feigning indifference. “You two have a fight?”

  “You’d just love that, wouldn’t you?”

  “Don’t act like I’m the bad guy here. I can’t help if I feel like you’re throwing everything away for some woman and her kid.”

  “For the last time, they have names.”

  My father stepped into the kitchen, his eyes taking in the tension clearly visible between my mother and me. “Trace. Good to see you.” He walked over and gave me a hug.

  “I’m just passing through,” I explained, trying not to take my anger out on him.

  “He’s here to see them,” my mother said.

  Anger pulsed inside me. Not only had Marin gone and fucked everything up, but now I had to deal with my mother’s shit.

  “Trace. You’re in college,” she continued. “Do you plan on coming home every time the boy has a game? Or when she needs you to watch him while she runs errands? It’s impractical to think it can work with you at school and her here. Why put the boy through this? Why put yourself through this?”

  Her words were so eerily similar to Marin’s. My eyes narrowed. “Did you talk to her?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “That’s exactly the shit she just fed me.”

  My mother’s face lit up for a brief moment before she controlled it. “Well, she’s smarter than I gave her credit for.”

  “Did you offer her money?”

  “What?”

  My stunned eyes shot to my father, looking for him to confirm what I already knew.

  He shrugged. I should’ve known. He couldn’t control my mother any more than I could.

  My eyes shot back to my mother. “Did you threaten her?”

  Her eyes rounded. “I can’t believe you’d ask me something like that.”

  “Why not? She ended it out of nowhere. You have to be holding something over her.”

  She pressed her hand dramatically to her chest. “You give me a lot more credit than I deserve.”

  I shook my head, needing air. Needing to let off steam. Needing to punch a fucking wall. I turned and stormed out. I’d go back to Marin’s and talk some sense into her. I’d make her see she was wrong. I could be there for her and CJ.

  The only problem was when I rounded the corner to her house, her car was gone.

  Marin

  As soon as Gayle’s front door opened, I walked into her opened arms, my tears streaming down my cheeks.

  “I wanna kill him,” she said.

  “How is he still controlling me?”

  “That’s what men like him do.” She squeezed me closer, allowing me to cry into her shoulder.

  “I was so blind.”

  “Oh, honey. You thought you were in love. No one faults you for Charles being an asshole. There’s gotta be something we can do to stop him,” she said.

  “There’s nothing,” I sniffled, wiping my runny nose on her shirt. “This is the only way.”

  “Can I at least slash his tires?”

  “He’ll probably think it was me.”

  “Not if I leave a note in spray paint across his windshield,” she said.

  I normally would’ve laughed at her crazy antics, but I physically couldn’t. Charles had single-handedly destroyed everything good in my life, except my son. The son-of-a-bitch just couldn’t let me be happy. “What did I do to deserve this?”

  “Nothing. This is all him wanting to stay in control.”

  “But how long am I going to have to pay for marrying him?”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Trace

  “Dude. What’s wrong with you?” Caden dropped down beside me on the sofa.

  I was crushing another opponent in the video game I’d become obsessed with since getting dumped. It was the only thing that occupied my mind and stopped me from going fucking ballistic because Marin wasn’t answering my calls or texts. The irony hadn’t been lost on me that she thought I’d be the one to hurt her.

  “You can pretend I’m not sitting here, but I know you can hear me. So if you got some chick pregnant, I’m here if you need to talk.”

  My attention shot to him, my brows pinching together. “What?”

  He shrugged. “It’s the only thing I could think of that would make you walk around here like a zombie for the past week.”

  “On what planet does zombie equal getting a girl knocked up?”

  “It’s not just that. You haven’t brought a single girl home since we’ve been back at school.”

  My attention returned to the game, in no mood to unload on him.

  “Fine. Stay tight-lipped,” Caden said, playing on his phone while I destro
yed my opponent.

  After a long stretch of silence, he said, “You’re seriously not gonna tell me?”

  I glanced to him, shooting him the universal glare for no.

  “You having problems with...?” Caden’s eyes dropped to the crotch of my basketball shorts.

  I shoved him. “Fuck you.”

  He laughed. “There’s the Forester we all know and love.”

  “I hate you.”

  Caden laughed as he jumped up and headed into the kitchen, returning with two beers. He handed me one.

  I took the bottle and twisted off the cap and took a long swig. “Liquoring me up won’t change the fact that you’re not my type.”

  He laughed. “Hey, I’ve got no problem if you’re—”

  “I’m not.”

  He twisted the cap off his bottle and chugged. “Are you hurt?”

  “Hurt?”

  “Yeah. If you are, I won’t say anything to Coach,” he assured me.

  “If I tell you will you leave me alone?”

  His eyes widened, like he didn’t actually think I’d cave.

  “I hear Coach is benching our starting quarterback.”

  Caden paused, like he actually bought it for a second. Then he balked. “Real nice.”

  I flipped him off, focusing on destroying my opponent until I was too exhausted to keep my eyes open.

  Marin

  Charles pulled into my driveway at six. He knocked on the door, and when I pulled it open, he stepped inside, leaning in to kiss my cheek. I spun away quickly. If CJ wasn’t there, I would’ve slugged him for such a stunt. He made my skin crawl. Every part of me hated him. Every part of me wanted to hurt him the way he hurt me and was continuing to hurt me.

  He dropped down on the sofa beside CJ who was drawing. “What’s going on, little man?”

  “Hey, Dad.”

  “Whatcha drawing?”

  “A football.”

  Charles’ lips tightened as he stared down at the picture. “How’s school going?”

  “Good. My teacher made me the line leader.”

  “That’s a great job.” He glanced to me standing in the doorway. “How about you, Marin? How’s school going?”

  Could he not see the disgust on my face? Could he not see that I hated him for what he did and what he made me do? I smiled defiantly. “Great. I should’ve gone back years ago.”

  He lifted a brow—the same condescending brow I’d grown to despise. How had I forgotten that? “What do you say we grab some pizza?”

  “Can we, Mom?” CJ asked.

  “You two go,” I said.

  “Come on, Marin.” Charles’ tone reminded me what I gained to lose if I didn’t play nice. “I want you to come with us.”

  “Come on, Mom.”

  I looked into CJ’s hopeful eyes. He must’ve been ecstatic to have both his parents there with him. How could I refuse him? “Okay.”

  CJ and Charles jumped to their feet and walked to the door. I grabbed my handbag from the coffee table, noticing CJ’s colorful drawing of a football. The words To Trace were written in CJ’s shaky kindergarten handwriting. I pulled in a deep breath and willed back the tears that clung to my eyes. I could do it. I could remain strong for my son.

  I locked the house and approached Charles’ car, grabbing the passenger door handle. I glanced up at the sound of a passing car.

  Trace’s mother drove by, staring with wide eyes.

  Fan-freaking-tastic.

  Trace

  “I want you running an out pattern,” Caden called in the huddle during practice.

  I nodded as I stuck my mouth guard in and headed to the line of scrimmage. On the snap, I took off running, bypassing our defense. I easily nabbed his pass at the twenty yard line, the ball dropping into my hands as I ran it into the end zone.

  “Nice catch, Forester,” Arnie said as I grabbed a bottle of water from Finlay on the sideline and dropped onto the bench.

  “Thanks, Arnie.”

  “How’s the little guy you brought out here this summer?”

  “Good,” I lied, feeling like an asshole for not knowing.

  “He coming to the first home game?”

  Seriously? “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe.”

  “How about his mom? Now she was a looker,” Arnie persisted.

  What the hell? I didn’t need reminding of what I’d lost at every turn. What I needed was to move the fuck on. “Well since he can’t drive yet, they’re kind of a package deal.”

  Arnie laughed. “She said you were just friends. But I could see it,” he assured me. “I can always see it.”

  “Yeah, well, I’ve got charm,” I said, standing and hoping to escape his inquisition.

  “You? The girl’s the one with charm. Don’t mess it up.”

  You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

  What I really wanted to say was it had been the first time I’d been committed and what did I have to show for it? Not. A. Fucking. Thing.

  My phone rang on my way out of the locker room after practice. Mom appeared on my screen. Great.

  “Hey.”

  “I saw your friend yesterday.”

  “That’s why you’re calling? To tell me this?”

  “She wasn’t alone.”

  I could almost see her gloating on the other end. “Okay, I’ll bite.”

  “Her husband was there.”

  I stopped and leaned against the building. “So?”

  “So, the three of them were going out together.”

  “Again. Why are you telling me this?”

  “Because I don’t want you at school wondering if she’s at home thinking about you. She’s moving on. You can’t fault her really. They share a child. It’s in everyone’s best interest if they reconcile and stay married.”

  “And you think that’s what they’re doing?”

  “It would seem that way,” she said.

  And for the first time ever, I fell prey to her gossip. Because even I knew, it usually held a lot more truth than fiction.

  Marin

  I carried the heaping laundry basket upstairs, trying to be quiet while CJ slept in his room. I walked into my empty bedroom and placed the basket down on the chair in the corner, wanting to hold off until I wasn’t so exhausted and emotionally drained. But it wouldn’t get done that way.

  I grabbed a couple shirts and walked to my dresser. My phone vibrated in my back pocket. I slipped it out only to find a text from Trace. Another one that would go unanswered. Are you back with him?

  I couldn’t believe it had actually taken Janine twenty-four hours to tell him. Her gossip skills must’ve been slipping.

  I placed the phone down on the dresser and pulled open the top drawer. Trace’s shirt, the one he’d let me keep, lay folded on top. I placed the other shirts down and reached for his. I didn't unfold it, just lifted it to my nose. His aloe scent still clung to the fabric. I knew the smell would eventually disappear, and all I’d have left of him was a T-shirt and the memories of the times we shared.

  I blinked back tears as I dropped onto the edge of my bed, clutching his shirt to my chest. If anyone could see me they’d think I’d lost my mind. And maybe I had. Or maybe I was just exhausted. Lonely. Sad. I’d been through hell with Charles and then this light—this shining light in the form of a college football player—entered my life and helped me see I controlled my happiness.

  Little did he know he was the cause of much of it. And with him gone, a dark cloud descended.

  Tears trailed down my cheeks as I cried myself to sleep yet again with Trace’s shirt in my arms.

  Trace

  I sat on the porch concealed by darkness. I watched the lightning bugs deep in the nearby trees. I’d taught CJ how to capture them in a jar. I couldn’t believe he’d never done it before. That was one of the first things my dad had shown me that truly fascinated me when I was his age.

  Fuuuuuck.

  My brain was in constant battle with itself. One minute guilt
flooded me, knowing I was on campus and not back home. Knowing if I’d only been able to stay, I still would’ve been part of Marin and CJ’s lives. The next minute anger replaced the guilt, and I was pissed at Marin for ending it. She wouldn’t even respond to my calls. And now I was getting information from my mother—the town gossip.

  Was Marin back with her ex? Was she just too embarrassed to tell me after all the terrible things she’d revealed about him?

  I shook my head trying to clear the clutter from my mind. I was Trace Forester. I wasn’t some pussy who sat around brooding over a girl. I needed to get over it. I needed to figure my shit out.

  The screen door beside me creaked open and Caden stepped outside. He leaned against the railing in front of me. “As your friend, I need you to tell me what’s going on.”

  I glared up at him. “As your friend, go to hell.”

  “Dude, something’s clearly up.”

  I shrugged.

  “And as team captain—”

  “Co-captain,” I reminded him.

  “Fine. As co-captain, if something’s wrong with one of my players, I need to help fix it or find someone who can.”

  “Did you take that wisdom outta the captain handbook?”

  His brows pushed together. “There’s a handbook?”

  I shook my head. “I appreciate you doing your co-captain duties, but nothing you say is gonna fix my shit.”

  His frustration with me shone in his entire face. “Well, let me ask you something. What would you do if the tables were reversed?”

  I shrugged.

  “I’ll tell you what you’d do. You’d get involved like you did when me and Finlay broke up last year. You gave me your two cents and from what Finlay tells me, you gave her some advice, too. So, I’ll ask again. What’s going on with you?”

  I dragged in a deep breath. I was exhausted. And bottling it up had gotten me nowhere. Avoiding Caden’s eyes, I watched the lightning bugs flashing. “There’s this girl back home.”

  “I knew it.”

  “She’s not pregnant.” My eyes cut to his. “At least right now she’s not.”

  His forehead scrunched. “What’s that mean?”

  My eyes moved back to the lightning bugs. “She’s got a kid.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Where’s the baby daddy?”