50 Hidden Desires

by Jessica Lemmon

  “Damn.”

  Nothing could touch how elated she was in this moment. “Thank you.”

  “Thank you.” Another brief kiss, then he pulled out, taking her next breath with him. He excused himself to the bathroom and she simply lay there, staring up at a ceiling made of pink balloons.

  I know you.

  He knew exactly what she’d wanted for this night. Right down to the fast-food that had surprised her. Yet, it’d been…perfect.

  When he came back into the room, he lifted the covers and helped her under them, then slid in beside her.

  “Now what?” she asked as he pulled her close. She rested on his chest and he dropped his chin on top of her head.

  “It’s your list.” His voice was low and satisfied, his chest expanding to take a deep, deep breath.

  “Let’s rest for a bit…” She bit down on her bottom lip. It was her list. All she had to do was ask. “And then round two?”

  “I can do that.” His chest shook with laughter. “I can definitely do that.”

  Dalton was underneath her, expression twisted into the most handsome mix of pain and pleasure. Holly swiveled her hips, deepening their connection and enjoying the control she wielded over him.

  He knifed up, digging his fingers into her hips.

  “That’s it,” he rasped. “Yes. Yes.”

  She’d never felt more sexy, more beautiful, or more turned on than she did in this moment. Watching the man she’d loved for years unravel every time she—

  “Holly, Jesus,” he panted, his body going taut. She lowered over him, brushing his chest with her breasts as she canted her hips. His hands clamped onto her ass.

  “Come, Dalton,” she whispered against his mouth.

  A mouth that curved into a wicked smile as a gleam overtook his eyes.

  “You first.”

  He tightened his hold on her and thrust deep, and she let out a sharp yip of surprise. Then he did it again. Every time she raised up, he echoed her intensity by pulling her down hard. Soon, they were panting, a thin sheen of sweat sliding between their bodies.

  His hand on her lower back, he pressed her close and growled in her ear.

  “Come, Hol. I’m not asking you again,” he said, his voice thick with passion and his own crumbling resolve.

  He pushed into her again and this time she toppled, pleased when she heard that now-familiar groan as Dalton joined her. They held on to and rode out their orgasms, the room a swell of moans and bleats of pleasure.

  The air between them snapped with an emotion she’d never shared with him before.

  She felt it. When she pulled back and dared look into his eyes, she could see it reflecting in his eyes as well.

  Shit.

  There was no denying what was shimmering in Holly’s eyes. No denying it reflected exactly how he was feeling about her. How he’d felt about her, even though he never admitted it.

  He loved her.

  It took getting physical to realize how deeply that love went. How all-encompassing it was. How groundbreaking, mind-blowing…

  Shit.

  “Hungry?” he blurted, his voice strained.

  She blinked, confusion coloring her features.

  “I’m starving.” He forced a smile and swallowed down the three words currently blocking his esophagus.

  “Of course you are.” She rolled her eyes and kissed him, her adorably cute nose brushing his when she did. “Room service?”

  “Yeah. One of everything.” Hands on her hips, he held on as she slipped away. God help him, he had to resist shuddering when she climbed off him. Nothing felt as good as being inside her.

  “Be right back.”

  He watched her round, bare ass sway as she crossed the hotel room, gold ribbons brushing her shoulders.

  He forced himself out of bed to discard the condom. When he sat back down, he ran a hand down his face, trying to unscramble his brain and think straight.

  Nope. His feelings weren’t gone.

  He was in love with Holly Larson.

  He knew because he’d never been in love before. Right about now, the mere thought of it was making him completely nauseous.

  He’d never successfully walk away from her.

  When the thought occurred that he could lose his job at LLM, he suddenly didn’t care. If he had to go find another job with a lesser firm, so be it. Hell, if he had to sweep metal shavings off the work floor of Winsor Tool & Die, so fucking be it.

  But when he thought of the Larsons, the decision wasn’t as clear.

  Her parents.

  Jace.

  He would care if he lost them. They were his family, too.

  Which was the reason you should have turned her down in the first place, idiot.

  It was too late now. Holly looking at him like he’d hung the damn moon wasn’t helping him compartmentalize, either.

  The bathroom door opened and she exited, gloriously naked, her pert, round breasts bouncing with each fluid step. She pushed her hair over her shoulder and slipped onto his lap, crossing her legs prettily over his.

  “Did you order?” she purred, sliding her finger over his lips.

  His arms closed around her. She fit. In his arms. On his lap.

  In your heart.

  “Not yet.” He stole a kiss from a mouth he’d never tire of tasting. Maybe he was freaking out too soon. What had they done that was so wrong, anyway?

  Nothing.

  In an acute moment of certainty, he said, “Add to the list.”

  “What?” She blinked, eyes going wide.

  “Add more to the list, Holly. More for us to do.”

  “More…sex?”

  “More everything.” He grinned, loving the idea of getting more chances to prove to her how precious she was. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Not yet. Maybe not ever.

  She beamed down at him, closing her mouth over his as she kissed him thoroughly, pleased with his request.

  They tumbled back onto the bed, their hands wandering and mouths sliding. Dalton decided he was only hungry for one thing.

  Her.

  Chapter 20

  THE FOLLOWING WORKWEEK was the best ever, and not because she was back at work. Since the night in the hotel room spent wallowing in plush white bedding with Dalton, Holly was living in a dream she never wanted to wake from.

  After his promise to not go anywhere, her heart nearly levitated as high as the pink balloon she’d carried outside and then let float away the next morning.

  Up, up, and away.

  In the office, they had to be careful not to be overly suspicious, so she avoided lingering glances and was careful not to touch him. But after last night, over Chinese takeout and making love against the wall—and again in the shower—well, she simply couldn’t stay away from him another second.

  “Hey, you.” She sidled into his office, but left the door open. “I just stopped by to deliver this,” she said, dropping a blank manila folder on his desk. Then she leaned in close. “There’s nothing in it. I just wanted to say that Samosa had a lovely time meeting you last night.”

  Her cat had finally deigned to meet him. And like all females around Dalton Thomas, she’d been instantly smitten.

  “She can’t stop thinking about you and wants to see more of you as soon as you’re available.”

  Dalton’s smile was genuine, the heat in his blue eyes giving her chilly bumps down both legs.

  “Samosa feels that way, huh?” he asked, one eyebrow lifting sardonically. He stood and stepped around his desk, pointing to a shelf on the opposite wall. “Let me show you something.”

  Curious, she took three steps to her right, gasping when he caught her up and kissed her, backing her behind the door and running his fingers into her hair. She closed her eyes and held on for dear life, hoping he’d moved them out of view of his office window, and at the same time, not caring.

  He let her breathe, but finished her off with a few short kisses on the center of her mou
th.

  “I take it you’re RSVPing yes for tonight?”

  “Whatever you have in mind, Hol, I’m in. Especially if it involves slipping you out of this dress.”

  “Shh!” She gave him a playful shove, then teased him by running both hands down her skirt. Her smile wasn’t going anywhere. Neither was the happiness saturating her every cell. “I’m going to walk out of here now,” she whispered, “and get a cup of coffee and try not to look completely turned on.”

  “Good luck.” His gruff laugh followed her out the door.

  Once she had poured a cup of coffee, she schooled her expression, offering bland “good afternoons” to a few passing, clueless coworkers. By the time she reached her office, her mind was already turning over the next phase of the Brownsboro project. Deep in thought, it took her a delayed second to notice her brother leaning on her desk.

  She jumped, nearly spilling her coffee.

  “Jace! You nearly gave me a heart attack.” Hand on her chest, she talked her fluttering heart down—again—and moved to her chair.

  “How long, Little?” he grated, straightening from the desk.

  “How long what?” She blinked at his foreboding expression.

  “Don’t.”

  “Seriously, Jace, I have no idea what—”

  “Did it start after the night at Dive Bar?”

  Shit.

  He meant her and Dalton.

  Carefully, she set down her coffee mug and faced him, leaning her ass against the desk much like he’d been doing when she walked in here.

  “How long before?” he grumbled.

  “I appreciate you’re looking out for me but I’m an adult and I can see whom—”

  “Dad asked about you two. He said he’d noticed how close you were standing after the meeting on Wednesday. He said it looked ‘suspicious.’”

  “You can’t be serious! I treat Dalton like everyone else here.” Or, she thought she had. She guessed it was impossible to keep from admiring the strong angle of his jaw, or the curve of his full lips. Or remembering the way his stubble had raked down her thighs…“I try to, anyway.”

  Jace let out a breath that sounded like a growl.

  “What did you tell Dad?” She was trying to be strong here, but the idea of her father finding out, of what it might cost Dalton, made fear carve a serpentine shape in her gut.

  “I told him nothing was going on and he was being paranoid.”

  Relief.

  “Good. That’s the truth.”

  “Little.” Jace’s eyebrows drew lower and he pegged her with that lie-detector stare of his. “I saw Dalt kissing you in his office sixty seconds ago.”

  She gulped. Audibly.

  “You lied to me.”

  “I didn’t. I just…didn’t tell you about us.”

  “How serious is it?”

  With one eyebrow raised she offered a droll, “How serious did it look?”

  “Like I’m too late to give you the talk about the birds and the bees.”

  Her teeth worried her lip again. This was bigger than her brother finding out she was sleeping with his best friend. This was about Clark Larson, about Dalton’s position at LLM.

  “It’s not that serious,” she offered. “I mean, it was. For a bit. But it’s nothing I can’t end. I don’t want to risk what he has here, and I know Dad…He’d demand we end it or fire him.”

  “You’d be lucky if he gave you a chance to explain and didn’t shitcan him immediately. He doesn’t like being lied to, either.”

  “We didn’t lie!” She lifted and dropped her arms, glancing out the door as a few people looked over. “Close that?”

  Her brother shut the door.

  “Listen. We were having some fun, blowing off steam. I’ve never had a chance to do that and Dalton is familiar. Convenient.” The words burned her vocal cords. He was so much more than that to her. He always had been.

  “Convenient?” Jace pushed both hands into his shaggy, blond hair. “Of everyone we know, why him?”

  “Would you have preferred Mitchum Tate?”

  Her brother’s eyes burned, his disbelief morphing into rage. “I would have killed Mitch if he touched you.”

  She felt oddly justified hearing that.

  “Which is a degree worse than what I wanted to do to Dalton when he kissed you. I wanted to strangle him.”

  “Give me a break! I don’t need your protection. Least of all from Dalton.”

  “Did you stop to consider the consequences? Consider what might happen if things don’t work out?”

  “Yes.” Kind of. Mostly she’d focused on the list and making memories while she could.

  “This doesn’t shake out, Hol, we’ll all lose him. Do you get that?” Jace paused for effect. “You’re family, but so is he. If things don’t work out, who do you think is going to leave?”

  She hadn’t thought things with Dalton would last longer than the time it took to complete the list. After, she’d thought she’d just…well, she didn’t know what she’d “just” do.

  Dalton wasn’t “just” anything. He was the love of her life.

  “It’s nothing,” she forced out while her heart shrieked in agony. “I’ll end it.”

  She had to do this for Dalton—the kid from Brownsboro who revealed he would have been punching a time card at a factory if he’d never met the Larsons. Instead he was wearing suits in an office at one of the best companies in Hartford. He’d come so far, and he’d earned it. Worked up from that tiny shack in Brownsboro to a starting position here to Project Director. She wouldn’t risk him losing it because she’d talked him into checking off her list.

  He’d made her dreams come true, and she’d put his in jeopardy.

  “Holly, I saw you. It’s not ‘nothing.’” Jace’s frown intensified. He was right, of course. The kiss in Dalton’s office said anything but temporary.

  “I never said we don’t enjoy ourselves.”

  “Spare me.” Jace winced.

  “Ending it is for the best. Especially if Dad is nosing around.”

  “It is for the best,” her brother agreed.

  Another split down her heart caused her to soul to quake.

  “Right. I know. It never should have gotten this far,” she mumbled. At least that was the truth.

  Jace came to her and squeezed her shoulder, but his frown remained.

  “It was a fun experiment, that’s all.” She waved a hand. “Jace…do me a favor? Don’t tell him you know.”

  “Holly…”

  “Show me you trust me to handle this.”

  He watched her for a beat.

  “Please?”

  “Fine.” He nodded, but to her it looked reluctant. “I won’t say anything.”

  She put a hand on his arm and whispered “thanks” before he exited her office, shutting the door behind him. Only after he’d gone did she feel the pain in her chest tenfold. She backed away from the door and collapsed in the guest chair, staring numbly out the window behind her desk.

  They’d just begun and she already had to end things.

  For Dalton.

  Because she loved him too much to ruin his future.

  Chapter 21

  DALTON WAS NO stranger to the blow-off, so when Holly started ghosting him, he damn well knew what she was doing.

  Their date Friday night? Canceled because she “forgot” she’d scheduled drinks with a friend. Saturday? Shopping with her mom that led to a late cocktail.

  By the time she preempted his text with a text of her own on Sunday stating she had to work at the office, he was seeing red. He wasn’t going to take it any longer.

  At LLM, Dalton climbed out of the car, hesitating at the card-swipe for a few minutes before running the damn thing and letting himself in. If security asked why he was here, he’d say he forgot a file. If someone else nosed around and figured out he and Holly were in the building at the same time—ah, hell. He hated sneaking around.

  Upstairs, he passed his o
ffice and bee-lined for Holly’s. There she was. Her blond head bent over her desk just like she’d said.

  She heard his approach and looked up. When she smiled, his chest relaxed. Had he been overreacting? He couldn’t recall a time in his past he’d felt this unsure about where things were going with a woman.

  “Dalton. Hi.”

  “Hey.”

  “What are you doing here?”

  He tucked his car keys in his pocket and stood awkwardly in her doorway for a moment, trying to decide if he was going to tell her the truth.

  “Thought you were avoiding me this weekend,” he said. “Came to find out why.”

  Okay, truth it was.

  “Oh. Well.” Her smile erased and his heart did a somersault. “Come in. We should talk.”

  Then his heart stopped altogether.

  “I didn’t want to do this here.” She stacked up the papers in front of her and moved them to one side of her desk. Then she folded her hands in front of her. She looked serious. “We should sit. Over there.”

  She stood and took his hand, leading him to the couch. Where she’d first made the proposition he couldn’t, at the time, believe he was hearing.

  She sat down and tugged his arm, and an eerie premonition skittered over his scalp like a herd of spiders. He continued standing, until she tugged his fingers again.

  “Dalton.”

  He sat.

  “What the hell, Holly?”

  He half expected her to fire him. This was worse.

  “You made all my dreams come true. The Lust List was a fantasy and you fulfilled it. You, who I’ve wanted for longer than you can imagine.”

  His stomach twisted as he waited for the other shoe to drop.

  “It’s time we move on. I’ll never forget what we shared, but we need to get back to being Dalton and Holly, family friends, and close the book on this chapter. For good.”

  “Family friends?” He snatched his hand away from her, his temper flaring.

  “Please don’t take your friendship away.” Her eyebrows bent as she pled. “I don’t want to lose you. I know Jace would be heartbroken if something came between you two.”