The New Breadmakers

by Margaret Thomson-Davis

  ‘Mammy! Daddy!’ she gasped breathlessly as soon as she burst into the living room. ‘You’ll never guess what’s happened!’

  Aggie was enjoying a cup of tea. She took another swig. ‘Johnny Pater has asked you to marry him?’

  ‘Och, you’re always tormenting me about him. I’m fed up with it, so I am. I couldn’t care less about John Pater.’

  ‘Aye, that’ll be right.’

  Wee Jimmy lit a Woodbine. ‘OK, spit it out, hen. We’re aw ears.’

  ‘Our Chrissie and Sean O’Donnel have gone away for the weekend. Together!’

  ‘What?’ Aggie and Jimmy cried in unison. Then Aggie said, ‘I’ll murder her. I’ll batter the living daylights out of her.’

  ‘Are you sure, hen?’ Jimmy’s voice became disbelieving. ‘I mean, just because she’s gone away on the Mitchell’s cycling weekend …’

  ‘He’s away as well, Daddy. I’ve just been speaking to Ailish O’Donnel.’

  Aggie said, ‘I told you not to speak to them Papes.’

  ‘You speak to them on the stairs.’

  ‘Just to say hello in the passing, no’ tae stand and blether. You’ll be getting as bad as Chrissie if you’re no’ careful. Mind how some Papes got her into the chapel one time? Ah battered that out of her and Ah’ll do the same with you if you’re no’ careful.’

  ‘For goodness’ sake!’ Maimie rolled her eyes in exasperation. ‘I asked her where Sean was because he’s usually around at weekends. And …’ Her voice hastened on before her mother could interrupt again. ‘I only asked because I suspected what they were up to, and I was right. Sean’s away for the weekend as well.’

  Jimmy shook his head and managed a half-hearted laugh. ‘But hen, that doesn’t mean …’

  ‘There’s no cycling weekend. I phoned the Mitchell. There never was any cycling weekend,’ Maimie ended triumphantly.

  There was silence for a few seconds as Aggie and Jimmy struggled to get over their incredulity. Aggie was first to recover. ‘See her!’ she bawled. ‘Lying like a trooper as well. I’ll bloody murder her when she gets back.’ Her big fists punched the air. ‘She’ll no’ forget this in a hurry. Fancy her sleeping wi’ a Pape! What’s the world coming to?’

  Maimie was overjoyed. Her fat cheeks quivered with anticipation. ‘They must have been going out for ages.’

  ‘Fancy! Behind ma back! Just you wait until Ah get ma hands on her.’

  Maimie could hardly wait, she was so excited and delighted. She prayed that her daddy wouldn’t be out working when Chrissie returned so that he could have a go at her as well. He often worked on Sundays because, for one thing it meant extra pay. But anyway, it would be her mammy who would do all the battering. All her daddy would get the chance to do would be to bawl and shout.

  What a carry-on. Marvellous! Oh boy, oh boy!

  * * *

  It was while they were in bed in the hotel that Sean asked Chrissie to marry him. Everything had been so beautiful in the oak-beamed country house, where they seemed to be the only guests. How quiet and peaceful it had been, sitting together in front of the big log fire sipping their nightcap of whisky. The bedroom had an old-fashioned brass bed with a mountainous mattress, piles of feather pillows and a beautiful patchwork quilt. There had been a fire in the bedroom too and they had undressed by its soft light. They took their time, admiring each other, gently exploring and caressing each other. Eventually, when they were both naked, Sean scooped her up into his arms and carried her over to the bed. How tender and loving and passionate he had been! They told each other how much they loved one another and Chrissie wished they could stay there forever, warm and safe in each other’s arms. She didn’t want to sleep and miss the wonderful awareness of a single moment. She had never felt so happy and content.

  Sean had told her that he felt exactly the same and added, ‘We could be together like this forever. We could get married. Will you marry me, Chrissie?’

  For that magic moment, all difficulties were forgotten and she had gladly said, ‘Yes.’ It wasn’t until they were on their way back to Glasgow and Balornock that the realisation of all the difficulties returned.

  ‘We can’t just walk in together like this. Not just now. For one thing, it would make everything a thousand times worse if our families thought we’d lied to them and been away for the weekend together. We need more time to think of the best way to approach them. We need to make lots of plans and preparations first, Sean.’

  Sean sighed. ‘Yes, you’re right. We’ll have to meet again soon and talk about the practicalities, like exactly when we can get married and where we’re going to live.’

  ‘Right. We’ll separate at the corner as usual. Give me a minute or two to reach my house before you start for yours.’

  He nodded. Then, as she was about to hurry away, he put a hand on her arm and said, ‘I love you, Chrissie, and, no matter what opposition and difficulties we have to face, we’ll overcome them together. We will be married.’

  She gave him a loving smile and left him standing at the top of the Wellfield hill, a tall, elegant-looking young man with a black shock of hair she loved to stroke, a handsome, intelligent face and serious dark eyes that could burn with so much passion. She felt as if she was melting with love for him. She was so happy.

  29

  Melvin had always enjoyed being a martyr. A long-suffering, brave and courageous one, of course. Now, he had found not only a partner in suffering but someone who was dependent on him, someone who was truly grateful to him. Someone who shared the same opinion of Catriona.

  Melvin and her mother had ganged up against her. When Melvin had showed concern that the old woman was struggling down to the bakery in all sorts of terrible weather to spend most of her time there, Hannah had explained that Catriona was so busy all day with her patients that she didn’t want to be disturbed by her mother. Melvin was furious and returned early one day to see for himself.

  There were several people waiting on the bench in the passageway and Catriona was busy with a patient in the consulting room. It didn’t help that this particular patient happened to be a man.

  Melvin hadn’t the courage to say anything then and there. He waited until they were safely away before he boiled over.

  ‘Fancy banishing your poor old mother from my house and making her struggle through the wind and rain to get some shelter at the bakery …’

  ‘I did nothing of the kind, Melvin.’

  ‘… while you carry on with men in that back room.’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous …’

  ‘Aw, shut up! That’s it. There’s to be no more of this. You’re an absolute disgrace. That back door is going to be locked and barred from now on. And, if you don’t get rid of all that rubbish that you call medicine, I’ll get rid of it myself. If I see any of it still there by the weekend, I’ll throw it all in the bin.’

  Something else suddenly occurred to him. ‘And another thing. There’s too many rooms in this place for you to play around in and you know far too many people around here. I’m going to look for another house – up in Aberdeen. Yes, Aberdeen. I can keep an eye on Fergus there as well.’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous, Melvin,’ Catriona repeated. It seemed the only appropriate thing to say. It was all getting beyond her. ‘How could you get to work every day?’

  ‘I’m going to retire. I’m past the age when everybody else does. Why should I keep slaving my life away just to keep you in the lap of luxury? No, that’s what I’m going to do. I’ve been thinking of doing just that for a while.’

  Catriona could see he’d just that minute thought of it. It was simply another way to get the better of her. To isolate her as he’d isolated his first wife, Betty, to have her completely to himself, to own her, to lord it over her, to make himself feel big. Well, she wasn’t Betty.

  For a moment she didn’t say anything. Maybe what he was threatening was no more than empty bluster. Yet she was afraid that he would at least carry out his threat of locki
ng the back door and destroying her stock of medicines. Destroying her therapy business.

  After Melvin had gone to have one of his sympathetic heart-to-heart talks with her mother, Catriona sat thinking of what she could do. She knew what her life would be like without her business. It didn’t bear thinking about. She couldn’t live like that any more. No, no, God no! Definitely not.

  Eventually she thought of a way, the only way in the circumstances. She would get digs somewhere while she looked for a place to stay permanently and suitable shop premises near to where she would live. Springburn would be the best place. For one thing, it was a very busy area, so chances were there would be plenty of customers and patients. Springburn was also on the same side of Glasgow as Madge and Julie. Melvin would not succeed in separating her from her business, from her patients or from her friends.

  She hesitated in going to Madge at this stage because Madge seemed to think that Melvin was the world’s best husband. Madge would support her but would tell her she was ‘a daft wee midden’ all the same. Julie and Sammy would be more sympathetic and understanding and willing to give practical help. She immediately set off to see them and her belief that they would be understanding and helpful proved true. Sammy even said, ‘I’ve often wondered why you put up with him for so long. Of course we’ll help you all we can. I’ve passed one or two empty shops in Springburn on my way to work. I’ll find out who’s letting them, if you like.’

  ‘Oh, thanks, Sammy, and as soon as possible, please. I want to be out of Botanic Crescent right away if I possibly can. I might even book into a hotel in town until I find digs or some place to rent.

  It was Julie who said, ‘I’ve got an idea. You know how you worry about your mother, Sammy. How about Catriona going to stay with her until she gets a place of her own? That way she can keep an eye on your mother, in case your father turns up.’

  ‘Great!’ Sammy enthused. ‘That’s the answer, Catriona. And you’d be on the spot to watch out for anything to let exactly where you want it.’

  ‘Are you sure you don’t mind, Sammy? What about your mother?’

  ‘Not a bit. She’ll love the company. And you’ll be doing me a favour.’

  They went right away and within the hour it was settled. She would go back to Botanic Crescent only to pack up her medicines, her medical books and patient records. Three separate tea chests would hold everything. One for the herbs, one for the homeopathic medicines and one for all her medical books and records. Sammy was going to get Alec Jackson to collect them in one of McHendry’s vans and keep them in the storeroom at McHendry’s until Catriona found her new premises. The van would also lift a couple of suitcases filled with her clothes and personal belongings and drop them off at the flat in Springburn Road. She wasn’t going to take anything else from the house – not even a teaspoon. Melvin was welcome to his precious house and everything in it.

  Something had to be done about her mother, of course. She spoke to her first.

  ‘Mother, I’m leaving Melvin.’

  ‘What do you mean you’re leaving Melvin?’ She sounded just like Melvin. It was exactly the sort of thing Melvin would have said.

  ‘You were right in the first place, Mother. I should never have married him.’

  ‘Don’t you dare blame me for anything, you wicked girl!’

  Here it comes, Catriona thought.

  ‘God will punish you for your wickedness. Melvin McNair is a good man, I see that now. If you desert a man like that, you’ll be punished, just as you were punished for putting your poor innocent child in danger. You were the death of poor wee Robert and you’ll be the death of Melvin yet.’

  ‘I’m leaving Melvin,’ Catriona repeated. ‘I’ve always been unhappy with him. Maybe it’s not his fault. Maybe we’re just not suited to each other. Maybe with different people, we would both have behaved differently.’

  ‘You’ve got another man!’ Her mother was suddenly electrified with horror. ‘You’re going to commit, or already have committed, the sin of adultery. You wicked, wicked girl.’

  ‘No, I have not, Mother. There is no other man. What I need to talk to you about is what you want to do. I’m going to lodge with Sammy Hunter’s mother just now until I find a place to rent. I can look for a place with an extra room. I can’t afford a big house like this, but I hope to find a nice flat in Springburn. Maybe even a three-room and kitchen – two bedrooms, a sitting room and a kitchen, a bathroom too if possible. I don’t think there’s anything as big as that in the main road but I’ll see …’

  ‘I forbid you to leave your good husband. You obviously don’t realise how lucky you are.’

  ‘Mother, I’m not a child any more. You can’t forbid me to do anything. Nor will it work to threaten me with God’s wrath or any of his punishments. I don’t believe in any of that any more.’

  Horror returned to her mother’s face. Her eyes bulged with disbelief. ‘You don’t believe in God? You are rejecting your Maker?’

  Catriona decided it would be a complete waste of time to try to explain. ‘Yes.’

  ‘You are wicked. Truly wicked. I don’t want anything more to do with you.’

  ‘You don’t mean that, Mother.’

  Hannah turned and walked away. Catriona followed.

  ‘All right, you can stay on here with Melvin if that’s what you’d prefer. But I just want you to know that I’ll get a place with an extra room in case you change your mind.’

  Her mother glanced round with a look of disgust. ‘I am not like you. I am a decent, good-living woman. I would not live under the same roof as a man who is not my husband.’

  Catriona struggled to continue speaking calmly.

  ‘I’m not going to live with another man, Mother, and there would be nothing indecent about you living here along with your son-in-law. If you won’t come with me and you won’t stay here, what will you do?’

  ‘I’ll go into a home.’

  ‘Now, there’s absolutely no need for that.’

  ‘Little did I think the day would come when my own flesh and blood would see me go into a home.’

  Oh God, two martyrs now!

  ‘Believe me, Catriona, God will punish you. One day, someone you love will be taken away from you …’

  Catriona wondered if she would ever be able to forgive her for that.

  30

  Alice looked happy. There she was, an ordinary teenager. No, not ordinary – beautiful. That’s what Alice was – really beautiful. She was tall and leggy in her blue school uniform with a schoolbag swinging at her side. Usually she was with a group of other girls, chatting happily. When boys passed by, they nudged each other and giggled. Julie longed to stop in front of her and say, ‘I’m your real mother.’ But, so far at least, she had managed to control the urge.

  She wondered about going to the house across the road and speaking to the couple who had adopted Alice. She kept rehearsing what she would say.

  ‘I’m Alice’s real mother.’ Or ‘I live across the road and I have just found out that …’ Or ‘I don’t want to cause any problem but …’ Or ‘I thought perhaps you ought to know that …’

  She tried not to keep looking out of the front-room window or talking about Alice when Sammy came home from work. She knew it worried him. She kept telling him, ‘I don’t want to cause any trouble for anyone, Sammy. All I want is for Alice to be well and happy.’

  ‘She is well and happy, Julie.’

  ‘I know, but don’t you think she’s entitled to be told the truth about herself and her true background?’

  Sammy gave her a long, serious stare. ‘Her true background, Julie? Would knowing that really make her happy?’

  Julie didn’t say any more. If she did speak to Alice about her background, she’d have to lie about who Alice’s father was. How could she say, ‘You were conceived as a result of drunken copulation with a stranger on VE night’?

  No, she would have to lie about that. If Alice asked, she would have to say he was a pil
ot who was shot down and killed during the war. She would have to pretend the father was Reggie. But what if Alice tried, at some point, to check facts – especially the dates? No, better just to say he had been killed and not give any details of what service he had been in, when he had been killed or anything.

  She watched for Alice continuously and, when she wasn’t standing waiting at the front-room window, she was constantly thinking about her. Or she was across at the shops or loitering near the school, hoping for a glimpse of the girl.

  ‘Julie,’ Sammy said eventually, ‘this has to stop. You’re making yourself ill.’

  She widened her eyes. ‘What?’

  ‘I knew we shouldn’t have come here.’

  ‘I love it here, Sammy.’

  ‘You’re not even aware of the place, the area, this house. I bet you couldn’t tell me the names of our neighbours. Or the names of any of the shops. Alice has become an obsession with you, Julie. I’m telling you, it’s not healthy.’

  ‘Nonsense. You’re exaggerating. All right, I wanted to come here to be near Alice but now I am near her, I’m happy. That’s all.’

  ‘No, it’s not all and you know it.’

  She looked away from him. ‘I haven’t a clue what you’re talking about.’

  He sighed. ‘Try not to do anything rash, Julie. For the girl’s sake. She seems perfectly happy. Don’t spoil it for her.’

  ‘How many times must I tell you? All I’ve ever wanted is her happiness.’

  ‘All right. All right.’

  He never mentioned the subject again and she tried all the harder to control her longings. But with not the slightest success. She could not bear a day to pass without at least catching sight of the tall, slim figure.

  Then Alice disappeared. One day after another passed without a sight of her. Julie felt distracted with worry. She wondered how she could find out what had happened. Eventually, in desperation, she told Sammy of her concern over the child.