Christian (The Beck Brothers Series)

by Andria Large

  Quinn snorted. “No, it doesn’t feel any different.”

  “Oui, I agree, we are still the same.” Margot giggled.

  “When are you going to have the party?” Christian asked.

  “We’ll give you guys time to sort this out before we plan anything,” Quinn said.

  “Thanks, Quinn, I appreciate that,” Christian said solemnly.

  “Sure, if you need anything tomorrow, just call,” Quinn murmured, giving Christian a hug.

  “Okay.”

  “Let me know when you get home. I want to see the baby.” Margot smiled, giving him kisses on both cheeks before she got in the car with Quinn.

  Christian waved goodbye then went back inside. Shea had just walked into the living room as Christian walked into the house. Christian shut and locked the door behind him. When he turned around, he was immediately enveloped in Shea’s arms. Christian hugged him back, tucking his face in Shea’s neck. Christian pulled in a deep breath through his nose, pulling in Shea’s scent. He smelled like his body wash and laundry detergent, since he was freshly showered and his clothes were clean.

  “You okay?” Christian asked him.

  “Yeah, are you?” Shea replied.

  “Yeah, I am.”

  “Good.”

  “They all know,” Christian whispered.

  “Yes, they do,” Shea said. Since his face was tucked against Christian’s, he couldn’t see his smile, but Christian could hear it when he spoke. “And they didn’t care.”

  “You were right.”

  “Aren’t I always?” Shea chuckled.

  “No, shut up.” Christian snorted.

  Shea pulled back from their hug first. He gave Christian a soft kiss on the lips.

  “We’re gonna be daddies tomorrow,” Shea said.

  Christian shook his head at the crazy thought. “That’s insane.”

  “I know, right?” Shea scoffed.

  “We’ll be fine,” Christian said, rubbing up and down Shea’s arms.

  Shea nodded, a determined look on his face. “Yes, we will.”

  ~Chapter 9~

  Holy shit Batman! Shea was nervous as hell. Christian and he were making their way up to the maternity ward in Abington Hospital. He was actually shaking from being so nervous. They were meeting up with Jackie, so she could go over a few things before letting him see the baby. Christian took his hand and squeezed it as they walked through the doors of the maternity ward. Shea took a deep breath and stepped up to the desk.

  “Hi, I’m supposed to be meeting Jackie Young,” Shea told to nurse at the desk.

  “Oh, yes, Mr. Dempsey, right?” the nurse asked as she stood.

  “Yes.”

  “Okay, let me get Jackie for you,” she said, walking through a door behind her.

  A few minutes later, she returned with another woman in tow. Jackie smiled a warm motherly smile as she came out from behind the desk. She was probably about the same age as Christian’s mother. She had soft, caring, hazel eyes and short auburn hair. She held out her hand to him.

  “Hi, Mr. Dempsey, I’m Jackie Young,” she said, introducing herself.

  “Hi. Please, call me Shea,” he replied with a tight smile.

  Jackie nodded. “Okay,” she said before turning her gaze to Christian. “And you are?” she asked, holding out her hand to him.

  “Christian Beck,” Christian murmured softly and shook her hand.

  “Christian is my boyfriend,” Shea informed her.

  “Oh, wow, don’t you two make a handsome couple, jeez,” she said, fanning herself.

  Christian fought not to smile while Shea couldn’t help but chuckle.

  “Thank you,” he said.

  “I’m so glad that you decided to take her. I would hate to see another child go unnecessarily into foster care. I’m just going to need you to sign some paperwork and then I’ll take you to meet her,” Jackie said.

  “What will happen if it turns out that she’s not mine?” Shea asked hoarsely.

  Jackie smiled gently. “Let’s not worry about that yet.”

  Shea nodded.

  Shea signed a whole bunch of paperwork and let a nurse take a swab of the inside of his cheek for the paternity test. Jackie then led them down a hallway toward the nursery. Shea took a deep breath when they stopped outside of the door that separated him from the baby that was possibly his daughter.

  “There is a sink just inside the door. I’m going to ask that you both wash your hands,” Jackie said before opening the door.

  Shea and Christian followed her inside and did as they were told. After they both washed and dried their hands, Jackie led them over toward the windows where there were a few swings set up. Shea’s heart pounded as she stopped in front of a gently swinging swing, where the tiniest baby he’s ever seen was sleeping. Shea’s breath caught as Jackie turned the swing off and turned to look at him.

  “You can pick her up if you want,” she said with a soft smile.

  Shea opened his mouth to decline but nothing came out as he just stared at the baby.

  “How much does she weight? She’s awfully small,” Christian said.

  “She was weighed this morning and she is five pounds, ten ounces. Even though she was a month premature, she is in perfect health, and is big enough to leave the hospital. She’s eating great and should put on weight fairly quickly.”

  “Shea? Do you want to hold her?” Christian asked quietly.

  Shea shook his head. “I can’t.” He breathed. There was no way in hell that he could hold a baby that small. What if he dropped her?

  Christian slipped his arm around Shea’s shoulders. “Do you want me to pick her up?”

  Shea nodded quickly. “Yeah, sure,” he croaked.

  “I’ll give you guys some time with her while I go get the discharge papers. I am also going to ask that you start thinking about what to name her,” Jackie said before leaving the nursery.

  “Name her?” Shea gasped. “She wants me to name her?”

  Christian just smiled and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. “Relax, Shea.”

  Shea shook his head. “I don’t think I can do this, Chris.” He choked, taking a step back.

  Oh god, how could he have ever agreed to this? That baby was so small and fragile, and he was going to break her. He couldn’t be a father! He needed to get out of here; he needed to find Jackie and tell her that he changed his mind. He started backing away but Christian grabbed his shoulders.

  “Hey! Shea, look at me,” Christian said, his tone clipped as he ducked his head to catch Shea’s wide gaze.

  Shea swallowed hard as Christian’s rich brown eyes bored into his. “Everything is going to be fine. I know she is small, but she needs us. We are in this together, Shea. You are not alone, I promise. If you don’t want to hold her right now, that’s fine,” Christian said firmly, squeezing his shoulders.

  “I…I can’t name her…” Shea stammered.

  “Sure you can,” Christian assured him. “Why don’t we name her after your sister?”

  “Skylar?” Shea frowned in confusion.

  “Yes, Skylar.” Christian smiled, glancing over his shoulder at the baby. “I think she looks like a Skylar, don’t you?”

  Shea pulled in a shaky breath and peeked over Christian’s shoulder at the tiny sleeping baby. “Yeah, yeah she does,” Shea agreed, feeling less panicked.

  Christian smiled lovingly and pulled him into a hug. Shea sighed and wrapped his arms around Christian. “What would I do without you?” Shea whispered.

  “Die?” Christian chuckled.

  “Definitely.” Shea grunted in agreement.

  They separated a moment later and Christian went over to the baby and scooped the swaddled bundle into his arms. Christian had plenty of practice with little babies. Shea’s been there from the beginning with his niece and nephews, but he always refused to hold them until they could hold their own heads up. Newborns made him really nervous, he was so afraid of hurting them so
mehow.

  Christian cradled the baby in the crook of his arm and rocked from side to side. Shea didn’t even think that Christian knew he was even doing it. The baby looked even smaller now that Christian was holding her. She made him look like a freaking giant! Shea moved closer so that he could see her better. Christian slipped his free arm around Shea’s waist and tugged him even closer. Shea put his arm around Christian in return. Shea looked down at the baby girl still asleep snuggled tightly in her blanket. Damn, she was gorgeous! Her tiny little hand peeked out of the top of the blanket; Shea reached over - only having to use one finger – and slipped his finger into her hand. She immediately grabbed on, shocking the hell out of Shea.

  “She’s hanging on.” He breathed in surprise.

  Christian’s response was to kiss his temple.

  “She’s beautiful,” Shea murmured quietly, afraid to wake her.

  “Yes, she is,” Christian whispered.

  Shea had no idea how long they stood there, but it seemed like forever before Jackie came back with the discharge papers. Christian put Skylar back into the swing and ran out to the car to get the car seat while Shea signed the papers.

  Twenty minutes later, the three of them were on their way home. Christian drove while Shea sat in the backseat with Skylar – which had been put on her birth certificate – along with his name and Tara’s name. Jackie seemed pretty confident that the baby was his, and insisted that he fill the birth certificate out so that the baby could have a name. She was now Skylar Katherine Dempsey after his little sister and mother. Shea hoped that eventually he would be able to change her name to Skylar Katherine Beck, but one-step at a time.

  The only people that were waiting at the house when they got home were Christian’s parents. Christian told his brothers to hold off coming over until they were settled in some, which they totally understood. Christian pulled into the driveway and parked. He got out and let Shea grab the car seat - he was okay with carrying her that way.

  Anne clasped her hands over her mouth and nose when she first saw Skylar, tears welling up in her eyes. Shea put her car seat down on the floor in the living room. As soon as Shea set the seat down, the baby started fussing.

  “Shit, what did I do?” Shea sighed.

  “Nothing, she’s probably hungry,” Christian assured him. “The nurse said she’s going to want to eat every couple of hours and it’s about that time.”

  Shea nodded tightly. Poor guy, he was such a mess right now.

  “Mom, you wanna grab her while I make a bottle?” Christian asked and started rifling through the bag of stuff that Jackie gave them.

  There were some diapers, wipes, binkies, nose suckers, and a few cans of powdered formula. Christian grabbed a can and headed into the kitchen to make a four-ounce bottle. By the time he got back, his mom was trying to soothe Skylar, but she was not having it. She was wailing. It was the first noise that she’s made since they met her. Shea was standing off to the side looking pale. Christian knew he was overwhelmed and he hoped that he snapped out of it soon, because Christian was going to need his help.

  “Do you want to feed her?” Christian asked his mom.

  “Of course I do,” she smiled.

  Christian put a bib on Skylar then handed his mom the bottle. She took the screaming baby over to the couch and sat down, propping a pillow under her arm and the baby’s head. The crying stopped as soon as that bottle went in her mouth; it was the cutest thing Christian’s ever seen.

  His mother started cooing to Skylar about being a hungry baby, making Christian smile. He was glad his parents were being so supportive. His dad moved over to the couch and sat down next to Anne so that he could see the baby better.

  While those two were occupied, Christian went to Shea, taking his hand and pulling him into the kitchen. Christian turned to face Shea, who was looking a bit shell-shocked.

  “How you holding up, love?” Christian asked softly, brushing his knuckles over Shea’s scruffy cheek.

  Shea closed his eyes and stepped into Christian, loosely slipping his arms around Christian’s waist and tucking his face into his neck. Christian sighed and wrapped his arms around Shea, cupping the back of his head with one hand.

  “I feel like we’ve made a mistake,” Shea croaked. “I don’t know how to take care of a baby, I can’t…I can’t do this.”

  “Shhh, Shea, everything is going to be fine, I promise,” Christian murmured.

  Shea shook his head and clutched Christian tighter as he pulled in a ragged breath.

  “Shea, you’re just overwhelmed. You’ve had this huge responsibility dumped on you practically overnight, but I’m here, we’re going to do this together,” Christian tried to assure him.

  “I can’t even hold her,” Shea sobbed, his whole body trembling as he clung to the back of Christian’s shirt.

  The last time Christian saw Shea cry was when his family died, and that was over four years ago. So for him to be crying now meant that he was feeling lost and helpless and couldn’t see any hope of things getting better.

  “Christian, honey, can I have a word with Shea?” Came his mother’s voice from behind Shea.

  Christian looked up to see his mother standing in the kitchen doorway, her hands clasped together in front of her, a soft but concerned smile on her face. His mother always looked so put together with her crisp blouses, jeans, and perfectly coiffed white hair. He pulled back from Shea, who quickly tried to pull himself together, swiping the tears from his face. Christian looked down at him, giving him a soft kiss on the lips before leaving so that his mom could talk to him.

  He walked into the living room and found his dad holding Skylar while he sat on the couch - she was out cold. The bottle sat empty on the coffee table. Christian smiled; she was definitely going to grow fast if she ate like that all of the time. He went and sat down next to his dad.

  “How are you holding up, Christian?” his dad asked, glancing over at him.

  “I’m okay, surprisingly,” Christian answered.

  “That’s good. Shea’s falling apart, isn’t he?” Henry Sr. frowned, his green eyes looking sad.

  “A little bit.” Christian sighed and nodded.

  His dad then reached over and squeezed his knee. “You stay strong for him, just like you did when his family died.”

  Christian looked over at his father to find him looking at him with love and pride in his eyes. Christian swallowed back the emotion that suddenly clogged his throat. “I will, dad.”

  “You’re a good man, Christian, and I’m glad that you and Shea are together. You guys have always been the perfect pair, and I know that this baby is in the best hands with you and Shea. She is going to be loved and cared for and given everything that she needs,” Henry Sr. said sincerely.

  Christian fought back the tears that threatened to fall. Damn his dad! Why did he have to go and say shit like that right now?

  “Even if she doesn’t have a mother?” Christian rasped.

  “Children don’t need a mother and father. As long as they have someone who loves them with their whole heart, than that’s enough. Whether it be two men, two women, a man and woman, or one man or one woman, it doesn’t matter. Love and stability are what make children happy and grow into good people. You have to teach her how to be a good person, the difference between right and wrong. That is what defines a parent, not what gender you are.”

  Christian nodded, unable to stop the tears from streaming down his face. “Thank you, dad.”

  “I love you, son. You know that right?” his father murmured.

  Christian smiled. “Yes, I do know. I love you, too.”

  “Good. Now, I think you are about to change your first poopy diaper cause this kid is farting away over here,” Henry Sr. chuckled.

  Christian laughed and brushed the tears off his face. His father handed over Skylar and kissed Christian’s forehead. Christian gave him a grateful smile before getting up to grab a diaper. Christian just finished changing the ba
by when Shea and his mother walked into the living room. Shea looked a bit more pulled together even though his eyes were red and puffy from crying. Who knows what Anne said to him. Christian would try to find out later when they were alone.

  “Can I…can I hold her?” Shea rasped.

  “Absolutely, why don’t you sit on the couch?” Christian instructed.

  Shea nodded and moved over to the couch. He sat down and rubbed his hands on his thighs. Christian finished buttoning up Skylar’s pajamas then scooped her up off the other end of the couch where he changed her diaper. He then brought her over to Shea and placed her in his arms. Christian adjusted his hold a little bit before sitting down next to him.

  “Breathe, Shea.” Christian smirked.

  Shea let out the breath he had been holding. “I didn’t even realize I was doing that,” he murmured with a small smile.

  “I know.”

  Christian put his arm on the back of the couch behind Shea.

  “She’s so light,” Shea whispered.

  “Yeah, right now. Wait until you see how fast she grows,” Anne chuckled.

  “Mmm, she’ll be eighteen before you know it,” Henry Sr. said.

  “Oh god, don’t say that.” Shea groaned.

  They all laughed.

  Christian’s parents stayed for a little while longer before heading home. After giving Skylar another bottle, Christian swaddled her and put her up in the bassinette, which was set up in their room. He set up the video monitor that Henry and Claire provided then went downstairs to find Shea.

  Shea was in the kitchen standing in front of the sink, his hands planted on the counter on either side of it, his head hanging down. Christian sidled up behind him and wrapped his arms around him as he kissed the back of his neck. Shea tilted his head to the side, giving Christian better access to his neck. Christian hummed his approval and slipped his hands up under Shea’s T-shirt to run his hands over his tight stomach. Christian pressed his growing erection against Shea’s ass.

  “How can you possibly think about sex right now?” Shea grunted.

  “Because I always think about sex when you’re in the room,” Christian growled, sliding one hand down the front of Shea’s jeans to cup him through his boxers.