The Rangers Are Coming

by Phil Walker

  “I’m wearing my new dress, I got at the Emporium,” said Charlene.

  “I’m wearing my shorts and my USA shirt,” said Henry.

  “I’m certainly not going to dress up,” said Gladstone. “I’m hoping to look like a typical American. It’s the very least I can do.”

  The same kind of sentiment filled the room. People had collected special articles on their visits and were wearing them. There would be lots of shorts, even among some of the men, and a lot of the women had taken a liking to the sleek jeans. They would be varied, but colorful.

  It was a lovely day in New York when the plane landed and the buses took the Europeans to the place where the parade would begin. They had a joyous reunion with the astronauts and words of praise for their achievement and bravery. President Gallagher made a little speech.

  “You folks were the only crowd to see our fellows off, except the ground crew, plus you’ve been travelling around the country making lots of friends, but the country has not gotten to see you altogether or in person yet. So we’re making this a special double occasion. I hope you all enjoy yourselves.”

  Gallagher got a cheer. He walked over to the float representing America. Actually all the floats were covered trucks pulling a flatbed that had a scene built on it by volunteers. It was very colorful, but so were the floats for each of the countries represented from Europe. They were told America would go first, but that all the other countries were fairly represented in alphabetical order, and the people along the parade route knew that.

  With so many immigrants from Europe, there was a sizeable contingent of rooters from every country.

  A company of Rangers let the way in dress blues and with the flag of every nation represented. Arcadia had wisely ordered Rangers to line the parade route and be on the lookout for anything that might be embarrassing. She thought that was enough. Nobody, including ordinary Americans, were anxious to cross a Ranger.

  The parade began. People had been streaming into New York for days for the big event, so the route was jam packed for two miles with tens of thousands of people and hundreds of buckets of ticker tape was ready to shower the procession.

  The Rangers clicked into order and began to precisely march. The American float with the President and the Astronauts came next. Then the colorful European floats flowed down the parade route. Gladstone’s family was sort of in the middle as Great Britain. They marveled at the crowd and the piles of ticker tape flowing down. They smiled and waved at all. Herbert kept taking his buffalo hat on and off. Charlene was really lovely in her purely American peach dress. Henry got lots of applause with his shirt made to look like a flag. William Gladstone wore a simple pair of trousers and had on a t-shirt that said “Thank You, America” on it.

  When the Gladstone’s passed the section filled with those who had immigrated from Britain, there was a huge outburst of applause and cheers. There were more British than any other group.

  The other delegations received similar applause from their countrymen. They waved and smiled happily. It was just a great day.

  The group flew back to Washington and watched themselves on television on the news reruns and specials at dinner in the restaurant on the big screen. There were lots of jokes and good-natured comments on how everyone looked.

  President Gallagher came up, took the mike and said, “Before the orchestra starts playing, I want you to know we are going to teach you all a special American Dance. It’s called a line dance, and you do it in rows of 20 across. The staff are pushing all the tables to the side so there will room for you all, young and old. I want you to know how proud I was of you today. Give yourself a round of applause.”

  The group did so and added a bunch of cheers.

  “The last thing I’m going to say is this. We are coming to the last part of your trip to America. I know a lot of you have been wondering why we did this. Well, I have some things to say about that. I have a little business to discuss with you. We’ll do that tomorrow morning starting at 10 AM in the Capitol in the House of Representatives. This meeting is for everyone, except the small kids, so don’t sleep in. Goodnight. See you tomorrow.”

  He left to applause. A woman jumped on the stage and said, “You’re going to love this. She then organized the group into lines of 20 wide and 16 deep, with an arm’s length between them all. Then she taught them a lively, but fairly simple line dance, complete with foot stomping, handclaps and Yehaws.

  Gradually the band started to join in and keep time as the group went through the routine. In a few minutes, they had it down. The band made up with guitars, drums, a few horns, fiddles and a real western beat, paused for just a minute and then began to play the fun, tuneful, and happy song. The instructor held up her hands and yelled into the mike, “NOW! She was joined with a group of singers and the dance was on.

  The crowd didn’t want to quit after they had done the dance three times. They were really getting the hang of it now, and having the time of their lives. They were still going strong half an hour later.

  Arcadia and Gallagher watched them through the monitor. They were now a precision team to match the Bolshoi. In perfect unison they stomped and clapped as if it was a single sound. Arcadia smiled, “Remind them of their unity and precision tonight, tomorrow.”

  “I will, indeed, Arcadia,” said Gallagher. “I don’t know when you thought this one up, but it’s perfect.”

  As Gladstone was getting on the bus to the Capitol the next morning, he said to Leopold of Belgium, “I wonder if this is when we get the check for the party?”

  The buses pulled up to the Capitol and everyone went in. Their guides escorted them to the House of Representatives. In the center, there were nameplates on desks. They were in alphabetical order, so Gladstone and his family found themselves once again kind of in the middle.

  Across the front of the big podium was the flag of every nation present, with the flag of the United States in the center.

  President Gallagher came out a door on the side and up to the podium. He was smiling as always. “I thought you might like to see how much fun you were having last night. He picked up his clicker and the big screen in the front of the room came on.

  Every one sat forward and smiled as they saw themselves moving in perfect unison as the music played. There was not a person in the room who did not laugh and point at themselves as they sashayed with the best of them. They stomped together, they clapped together, and they Yehawed together as the music pierced them to the core of their souls, as it had the night before.

  “Quite a show, don’t you think,” said Gallagher? “When was the last time any of you can remember doing anything together so well?” He paused to let that settle in.

  “Is there anyone here who would like to have all we have for your country?”

  The audience, used to responding to Gallagher, shouted out “Yes! and Of course we would”

  “OK,” said Gallagher, “How would you feel if we gave the wonders of America to just a few of you, we’d determined were ‘special’?”

  That caused the audience to squirm a little in their seats.

  “To carry this line of reasoning a little further, how would any one of you feel if we were to move into your country, use our technology to take over and start telling you what to do and how to live?”

  That was definitely something that nobody liked.

  “You would have the advantages of all the wonderful toys you have enjoyed this past month, but the goodwill in which you received it would be gone. You would resent our imposing an authority, for which you did not ask.”

  “To state the obvious, what is the difference with us doing that, then what you are doing today in the Congo, in South Africa, in Morocco, in India, Kenya, Tanzania, China or a dozen other cultures in the world? You are the superior power with the better technology. You say you are bringing these people better lives, and you might be, but you are also stripping these countries of their wealth in natural resources, and have to station arme
d forces in these countries because the people resent what you are doing and resist.”

  “This policy, used by every nation in this room, has additional complications. You resent your neighbors gains, and do everything you can to prevent any of your neighbors from getting an advantage over your country.”

  “So what is the result? In the last 70 years of the 19th century, you have fought 37 wars with each other, and killed 20 million of your fellow human beings. I’m afraid I would have to say the Lord does not honor this.”

  “To add more, each of your countries is spending a significant portion of your annual income in developing weapons and maintaining a large armed force.

  “Doesn’t it occur to you there is something wrong with this?”

  While the European delegations where eyeing each other to see if what Gallagher was saying was having the same effect on them, Gallagher ran the video of a happy, unified group of people marching in unison.

  Gallagher challenged them all. “If you would rather have this,” he said loudly pointing to the screen, “rather than what is waiting for you when get home, please stand up.”

  The President was not at all surprised to find the first people out of their seats were the woman and the older children. Gallagher waited patiently. As he expected, the first real leader to come to his feet was William Gladstone, the most powerful country in Europe.

  All of the leaders eventually stood up. Again, Gallagher was not surprised to see the last to stand were the actual Monarchs of their country.

  “Congratulations, my friends,” said Gallagher, “You have just taken your first vote as the United Nations. This is, and has been, the ultimate goal of the United States. America is a neutral nation. If one your countries’ receives a piece of advanced technology, all of you will receive the same technology at the same time. Furthermore, we are prepared to begin to share everything we have to all of you immediately.”

  “We have criteria for this. We ask each of you to establish a residence in America; not an Embassy, which is nothing more than an isolated island of each countries’ sovereign territory, but a home among us.”

  “We ask that all of you return to Washington, for two days each month for the next six months, and after that for one week, every six months. The purpose of your time here will be to act as United Nations to discuss disputes and disagreements you have with one another.”

  “Further, we ask that none of your countries fire a single shot in anger, until you have spoken to each other here in America.”

  “If it is your wish, the United States is willing to serve as a fair broker to arbitrate your disagreements. We have no vested interest in any country in the world.”

  “In return for your agreement to these modest requests, all you have seen, all the technology you have enjoyed, while being our guests in the United States, will begin to flow to your ports starting today. We will send technicians with the materials to teach your workers and scientists to help you bring these products on line as soon as possible.”

  “Does anyone have any questions?”

  Charlene Gladstone raised her hand, “President Gallagher, I gather that you will now allow each country to speak with each other regarding your very generous offers. My question is this, Are the women present here today permitted to raise the issue of extending equal rights to women, as you have in the United States?”

  “We believe that all men and women are created equal. We have no slaves; our population of Native Americans enjoys the same privileges of citizenship as I have. What is fundamental in our philosophy, is that all have individuals have natural rights, which are given to them by God. Therefore the rights of government are derived from the governed…the people.”

  “If that is the case,” said Charlene Gladstone, “I hereby move that the first order of business of our United Nations is to extend equality and voting rights to all adult women.”

  A big rumble of conversation broke out among the Europeans. Before it got very far, the wife of the French Chancellor stood up and said, “I second the motion of my good friend from England.”

  Arcadia was watching the proceedings from her home in Georgetown. When he heard the women speak out, she slammed her fist into her hand and said, “Yes! Membership in the United Nations will require new applicants to agree with international laws. This is our portal into the heart of Islam, and the beginning of their marginalization. “

  Back in the House of Representatives, the President gaveled for order. He held up a big piece of paper. “Ladies and Gentlemen, just to set the record straight, everything the United States has pledged, has been unanimously approved by the Congress and I hereby add my signature to this document.” He signed the paper with a flourish. Aides passed through the group and gave a copy of what had just been signed to each person, man, and woman. The document said everything Gallagher had said and added a few other benefits as well.

  “I think you folks have some things to discuss,” said Gallagher. “I will leave you to it. Lunch will be served in the cafeteria, when you want to eat, and the buses will pick you up at 5 PM.”

  Gallagher and every American left the room and the Europeans were alone.

  47

  U.S. Congress, Washington, D.C.

  For a very long time, there was silence in the House of Representatives. People were reading the manifesto of the government of the United States. It repeated exactly what President Gallagher had said.

  It was William Gladstone, who finally rose to his feet. He looked over the people he had come to know and like so well in the last month. He could see that Gallagher’s words had deeply impressed them. He approached the problem from the back door. “Is there anyone in this room who rejects this proposal entirely and is unwilling to discuss its properties in open debate?”

  There was silence. “That is a very hopeful sign to me,” said Gladstone. “We are being presented the biggest blank check in history. Now we must decide if we can cash it.”

  The wife of the French Chancellor stood up and said, “There is a motion on the floor with a second. I want this matter debated here and now. We women either, have a stake in this or we don’t. If we do, I want to be able to vote on the proposal. If we don’t, then the women are wasting our time, because you men were just on vacation and were oblivious to everything you’ve seen and heard in the past month.”

  “Make your case, madam,” said Gladstone.

  “Very well, in the past month we’ve witnessed, first hand, a civilization in which women function in every position in society. We saw them in the schools, in the factories, driving the buses, serving as our guides. The men in America are neither afraid nor intimidated by their women and give them the respect they certainly deserve.

  “You might recall that the only thing the government fears is an uninformed electorate which is why all citizens are required to pass a Master Civics Examination before they are allowed to vote at age 21. This applies to both men and women. You men have been telling women for years that we do not possess the sophistication or insight into government or business to be able to exercise the mandate to vote. As we have clearly seen here, that is not the case at all.

  “As President Gallagher said, “We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all PEOPLE are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights and that the power to govern is by the consent of the PEOPLE.”

  “Madam Moncrieff,” said Leopold, “the fact of the matter is we do have a considerable number of women who are not qualified. We might exclude the present company, but back home it’s just not practical.”

  “Back home, only men who own land are allowed to vote, and none of the women. The United States is offering us a way out of this sorry condition. Nobody is saying it is going to be done overnight, and the Americans understand that. However, Leopold, you correctly said present company was excepted. I agree with that. If we accept the United States’ solution, I want to have a say in that decision.”

  That last remark seemed to
stir up a good many of the women, and for half an hour, they dominated the debate. The men were confused and flustered. Most of them did not want to give the vote to women, but most of them did not include their own wives in their reckoning. A good many of them consulted their wives on matters of state on a routine basis.

  Charlene Gladstone held up her hand and rose. “Very well, I amend my motion to say that for the purposes of this debate and the issue at hand, that all persons over the age of 21 shall be entitled to a vote.”

  “Second,” said Madam Moncrieff.

  “I call the previous question,” said William Gladstone. All persons in favor of suspending debate and moving to a vote on the motion raise your hands.”

  It wasn’t even close.

  “Therefore, the question being called, all persons who believe deciding on the offers of the United States should include all persons over the age of 21, raise your hands.”

  Arcadia took a deep breath. There was no question in her mind the practical minded women in the group would push the American proposal to acceptance. She also knew how to extend this victory for these women was the same as giving it to all women. Give her five years in the schools and women would be passing the Master Civics Exam faster than the men.

  “I do not like war,” said Moncrieff of France. “It always brings tragedy and the need for higher taxes.

  Giovanni Lanza, Prime Minister of Italy said, “It’s so simple of a plan. When Gallagher said it, I wondered why I hadn’t thought of it before. Certainly, the benefits are worth more than mustering an army and going off to capture a weaker country, just because they have a gold mine.”

  Count Alfred von Potocki-Pilawa, Minister-President of Austria, brought up the crucial question, “Over half of Europe is ruled by Kings and Monarchs, most of whom are related in some way. When we begin bringing in the American improvements it will significantly improve the standard of living for the common person and will produce a robust middle class. This group has been seeking a more representative form of government and a bigger say in the affairs of the country for years. Now they will have the numbers and the influence to get it. The Kings who are still real kings and not constitutional Monarchs know their days are numbered, but will, nevertheless resist with all their strength. Our King Franz-Joseph could not be bothered to come to America, so he sent me. How do you think he will react when I go home and tell him that Austria-Hungary, has just joined a United Nations and that this group will interfere with his sovereignty, at least as it relates to waging war?”