Hunting Shadows (Shadow Series #3)

by S. H. Kolee

  “I yelled at her to be careful, that her vardoger was trying to overtake her, but she just laughed. She laughed. She told me that she had called for her vardoger, that she wanted her vardoger to overtake her, because then she’d finally be strong enough to destroy me.” Ryan lifted his eyes to me, pain etched on every line of his face. “No matter the differences we had between us, no matter how many times we fought, I loved my sister. I didn’t realize how much she hated me until that moment.”

  “What happened?” I whispered. I took his hand, squeezing tightly as his eyes became unfocused, as if he was living the nightmare again.

  “All I could think about was destroying her vardoger. I couldn’t let it overtake her. I was convinced that she was so angry she was out of her mind. She didn’t realize what she was saying. I channeled my powers and destroyed it.” His eyes closed. “That’s when it got even uglier. She was beside herself, enraged that I had destroyed her vardoger.” He opened his eyes and looked at me helplessly. “She actually wanted her vardoger to overtake her so she could destroy me, torture me. If she had just wanted to kill me, she could have done it in my sleep. But she wanted to hurt me in a way that would shatter me, and nothing would be worse than her vardoger destroying me. She was willing to sacrifice her life for it. That’s how much she hated me.”

  “I’m so sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say.

  Ryan shook his head as if he was trying to shake off the vivid memories. “My parents were finally able to break down the door. I told them what happened, and it was as if my sister couldn’t take them thinking less of her.” Anguish was etched into every line of his face. “It happened before I could react. We were all taken by surprise. Even with what had just happened, I couldn’t accept what she did next. I couldn’t believe it even though I saw it with my own eyes. She smashed their heads in with my baseball bat before I even realized it was in her hands. It was then that I realized that maybe I hadn’t destroyed her vardoger. Maybe I hadn’t been successful and it was absorbed back into her somehow. I have no other way to explain how she was able to move so quickly. How she was able to kill them both so quickly.”

  I shuddered at his words. My voice was hoarse with emotion when I spoke. “I can’t imagine how horrible that must have been.”

  Ryan took in a deep breath and straightened. “You can never trust a vardoger. There are no limits to their evilness. I’m convinced that the vardoger affected my sister’s mind somehow. There’s no way she could have done something like that on her own. I can’t believe that.”

  “What happened to her?”

  “She was arrested and tried for my parents’ murder. She pled insanity and is serving a life sentence in a facility for the mentally ill back in Seattle. I visit her about once a year, when I can, but she hates it when I do.” His hand around mine tightened. “Her vardoger must still be inside her. She yells horrible things at me whenever I visit. But I know my sister, my real sister, is still in there somewhere. I’m hoping that I can still save her.”

  I felt breathless from everything Ryan had revealed. He seemed so strong, so sure of himself, but he had been through a horrible traumatic event. It was a testament to his strength that he was still standing and still living his life with such purpose.

  “That’s why you have to be careful around Simon,” he insisted urgently. “You have no idea what he’s capable of.”

  I suddenly became keenly aware that we were still holding hands, and I let my hand slide out of his grip. “I understand your reservations about Simon, especially considering what you’ve been through. But he’s different from the other vardogers.”

  Ryan shook his head sadly. “That’s where you’re wrong, Caitlin. They’re all the same. They’re all evil.”

  I rubbed my forehead tiredly. I couldn’t argue about this tonight. My mind was whirling with everything that had happened, and as sympathetic as I was about what Ryan had been through, I didn’t appreciate him using it as a method to make me distrustful of Simon.

  “I’ll be careful, but I’m going to make my own decisions about who to trust.” I stood up determinedly. “We’ll talk more in the morning.”

  “We need to destroy the palladium,” he called out, but I just ignored him and continued down the hallway.

  Simon was sitting on the bed when I entered my bedroom, looking agitated. I closed the door behind me and sat down next to him. I pushed the doubts that Ryan had tried to cast on Simon from my mind. If there was one thing I could trust in all this craziness, it was my belief in Simon.

  “What did he want to talk about?”

  “He asked why I lied about not knowing where any palladium was.” I decided to not tell Simon about what Ryan had told me about his family. Not only was it too personal, but Ryan had told me the story to try to make me suspicious of Simon.

  “When did you talk to him about palladium?”

  “Last night while you were asleep. I woke up from a dream and when I went to take over watching Grant, Ryan stayed for a little bit because he wasn’t tired. He brought up the subject of palladium, and I thought it was better that I didn’t advertise that I had a palladium coin.” I pulled it out of my pocket and fingered it. “I’m still convinced that it can help me somehow.”

  Simon frowned at me, ignoring the palladium. “What dream?”

  I hadn’t had time to tell Simon about my dream, and as I recounted it to him, I shuddered as if I were reliving it. It had seemed so real, and instead of fading as dreams often do, it was still brilliantly vivid in my mind.

  “Did you tell Ryan about the dream?” Simon’s tone was neutral, but I could sense the tension in his body.

  “It was fresh on my mind when I saw him last night, and it was about him,” I replied. “I told him about it.”

  Simon’s jaw tightened. “I didn’t realize he was becoming such a confidante.”

  I sighed in frustration. The last thing I needed was for Simon to get jealous. We had to deal with life and death matters and I didn’t have time for Simon’s possessiveness.

  “Can we not argue about this right now? I’m exhausted and just want to go to bed.”

  Simon gathered me in his arms, holding me tightly as he buried his head against my neck. I could feel the tension radiating through his body and I raised my hands, rubbing his back soothingly. “Simon? What’s wrong?”

  I could feel his warm breath against my neck as he spoke, his voice low and muffled. “I thought I was going to come apart when I heard you scream my name. I moved as fast as I could, but it wasn’t fast enough. When I saw you on the ground… I thought it was all over. I thought I had lost you.”

  “But you didn’t,” I said reassuringly. “I’m okay.”

  “No thanks to me.” Simon raised his head, his eyes looking dull. “I didn’t protect you. If it hadn’t been for him, I might have lost you.” His eyes narrowed. “Although I’m still not convinced that it wasn’t some part of a setup he masterminded.”

  My sympathy for Simon’s feelings wavered. It was like I was being pulled in two directions, and I didn’t relish the feeling. Simon should know my loyalties lay with him. I just needed Ryan to help me defeat my father. That was all I wanted from him. A sliver of doubt ran through my mind as I remembered what it felt like to have his hand around mine, but I quickly squashed the thought. Whatever attraction I had towards Ryan paled in comparison to my feelings for Simon. Still, that didn’t mean I couldn’t be frustrated with him.

  “We don’t know that he did anything wrong,” I said as I pulled back so I could see his face. “Yes, he should have told us about the gun, but that doesn’t mean he purposely planned all of this.”

  Simon gazed at me, cupping my face in his hands as his thumbs lightly brushed against my cheeks. “Let’s not talk anymore,” he said softly. “We’ve done enough talking for tonight.”

  He reached down and gently took the palladium coin from my hand, leaning over momentarily to open the drawer of my nightstand and closing it once he
had tossed it inside. I felt shivers run down my spine when he gently caressed my lips with his as he pulled me closer so that one of his thighs was wedged in between mine. I felt heat course through my body as he deepened the kiss and I opened my mouth, welcoming the velvety wetness of his invading tongue. In that moment, nothing existed except Simon and me, and the thought of doubting him seemed ridiculous.

  “I promise I’ll do a better job of protecting you,” he whispered against my mouth. “I failed you tonight. I won’t let it happen again.”

  I shook my head slightly, my breathing becoming shallow. “It wasn’t your fault, Simon. There was nothing you could do.”

  Instead of reassuring him, my words seemed to frustrate him, and he pressed against my lips harder, as if to blot out my words. A sound of pleasure escaped me when his hands slipped under my shirt and the rough pads of his fingertips caressed my bare flesh. He gripped my sides and pulled me closer so that his knee was pressed against the apex of my jeans, and I couldn’t suppress a moan as need rose up in me.

  Despite my desire, I broke the kiss although it was almost painful to do so. As much as I wanted Simon, this wasn’t the right time for us to be intimate for the first time. I also didn’t want to cloud my mind, and Simon had a definite way of making me lose focus.

  “Too fast?” he asked, his voice hoarse. I nodded and it seemed to take some effort on his part, but he loosened his grip. He lay down on the bed and pulled me towards him so that he was cradling me from behind, and we stayed in that position for a long time. Sleep evaded me, even though I was exhausted, as I wondered if timing was the only thing preventing me from having sex with Simon. As much as I loved him, I could never forget that he was a vardoger.

  Chapter Nine

  The lights from above were bright, illuminating the room harshly. I squinted my eyes, the flood of light painful as if I had just stepped out of a dark room. I blinked in confusion when I saw two people standing a few feet apart, holding swords as they faced each other. My gaze took in the white uniforms and masks they were wearing and my confusion receded as I realized they were fencing. I was unfamiliar with the sport, but knew enough to realize what they were doing. The two opponents were taking turns advancing and retreating, trying to get hits on each other.

  The sound of the swords swishing in the air was the only thing I heard as I watched silently. I was sitting in the front row of bleachers nearby and I felt a trickle of unease as one of the opponents started to become more aggressive. The strokes of their swords became a little more frantic as the aggressor moved forward, forcing the other to retreat farther and farther back. I heard a sound of protest from the person being pushed off the field of play, but the words were garbled through the mask.

  I tried to stand so that I could walk over and watch them close up, but I was rooted to my spot as my muscles refused to cooperate. It was only at that moment I realized this wasn’t real and I was in the midst of a vision. My pulse quickened as I watched helplessly as the more forceful fencer continued to advance on the opponent, but now I knew it was more than likely that the aggressor was a vardoger. Even though I knew it was a vision, my mouth automatically opened to scream a warning, but no sound came out.

  The vardoger raised its arm high and brought it down with slashing force, the sword slicing through the air sounding like a whip. The sword came down brutally against the neck of the victim, and a scream gurgled in my throat when it sliced through the neck, completely decapitating the person. Horror gripped me as blood spurted from the slashed neck and I watched the severed head roll towards me, stopping just inches from my feet. Nausea roiled through me as I stared at the masked head before me in a pool of blood, and my body started to shake violently.

  I gasped as my eyes flew open, fear still pumping through my veins as I got a hold of my bearings. I took a deep breath, trying to wipe the gruesome scene from my mind, but I kept picturing the severed head rolling towards me. I shuddered in revulsion and felt Simon stir next to me. In the next instant, he was awake.

  “Did you have a vision?” he asked softly as he propped himself up on his elbow so that he was leaning over me. I could see in the dim light that he looked concerned. I nodded my head jerkily, but the images were still too fresh in my mind to speak about them. Simon just waited as he stroked my hair, trying to soothe me.

  “It was horrible,” I said haltingly when I was finally able to speak. Simon was silent as I told him about my vision, his expression darkening when I got to the decapitation. When I was done, I voiced the concern that had been worrying me since I had awoken.

  “I didn’t see the person’s face. I couldn’t even tell if it was a girl or a guy. How can I help the person in my vision if I don’t even know what they look like?”

  “I don’t know,” Simon said after a long pause. “Maybe you’ll have the vision again and you’ll be able to see their face next time.”

  I didn’t talk for a while as I mulled over what my next steps should be. I glanced at the alarm clock and saw that it was barely six o’clock in the morning.

  “Well, I know where to start. The fencing team.” Simon didn’t argue as I got up to get ready for the day. I was beginning to believe that he was finally accepting my role as a seer, and I was relieved that I didn’t have to deal with an argument from him on top of everything else.

  I showered and got dressed and walked out into the living room while Simon took his turn in the shower. I was surprised to find the living room empty but the sheets were folded and stacked on the couch with the pillow, as usual. Ryan’s bag was still there and through the window I saw his car parked out in front of the apartment building.

  “Where could he have gone?” I muttered to myself. I realized that I had been counting on Ryan’s help, and his absence affected me more than I thought it would.

  I tried to suppress my disappointment as I turned to go to the kitchen to make some coffee, but before I could make any progress, the front door opened. Ryan walked in with a gust of cold air, and I felt a surge of relief that he hadn’t abandoned us.

  “Where have you been?”

  “I just needed some fresh air.” His hazel eyes honed in on me. “Rough night?”

  I wasn’t sure if I just looked really bad or if he was able to sense that I had experienced a vision, but I told him about it in detail.

  “That’s a tough one,” he said when I was done. “We don’t know what the person looks like, but at least we have a lead with the fencing.”

  “Maxwell has a fencing team, although that’s as much as I know about it. I looked up the team online and found out where they practice. I’m planning on going there this morning.”

  “Good idea,” Ryan said approvingly. “And this will be a perfect opportunity for you to get stronger in preparation for your father.” I couldn’t help but feel a slight flush from his praise. It was reassuring to know that I had someone on my side.

  Simon chose that moment to stride into the living room, and I started guiltily, although I hadn’t done anything wrong. I reminded myself that no one was more on my side than Simon.

  “Did you tell him about your vision?” His glanced flicked from Ryan to me and I nodded. His lips tightened. “Of course you did.”

  I ignored his last comment. “I was just telling Ryan that I’m planning on going to the auditorium where the fencing team practices. I have no idea what their practice schedule is, but their matches are listed on the school website and they have multiple matches next week, so I’m hoping they’ll be practicing today.”

  Simon checked his watch. “It’s seven o’clock. I doubt they’re practicing right now.”

  I raised an eyebrow but didn’t contradict him. “A quick breakfast, then I’m leaving.”

  Breakfast was coffee and a piece of toast. I grabbed my coat but hesitated when both Ryan and Simon did the same.

  “Someone should probably stay behind,” I said. “Sarah and Grant are still sleeping and I don’t think they should be left alone.”
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  “I doubt they’re in danger anymore since Grant’s vardoger is gone, and you told me you destroyed Sarah’s vardoger a while back,” Ryan countered. “And your father’s not close enough to be a threat.”

  “Still,” I said. “I feel uncomfortable just leaving them alone, especially since they’re both still asleep.”

  “I’ll wake them up,” Simon said in a flat tone. I had a feeling he knew what I was going to ask of him.

  “Simon, please. They both had a really rough night and they need their sleep. You don’t want to leave Grant and Sarah completely vulnerable, do you?”

  I could see concern for them warring with his need to be with me, especially with Ryan around, but the depth of his feelings for Grant and Sarah won out and he grimly nodded.

  “Fine, but I expect you to call me once you get there.” He turned to Ryan with a hard look. “If anything happens to her, I’m holding you responsible.”

  “Last time I checked, I was the one who saved her.” Ryan’s tone was nonchalant but his words were meant to puncture, and they succeeded. Simon’s jaw tightened and his fists clenched.

  “Watch it. I can still destroy you in the blink of an eye.”

  “I’m well aware of that. I just wish Caitlin would realize that as well.”

  “Enough,” I said in a firm voice. I leaned towards Simon and gave him a quick kiss. “Thanks for staying. I promise to call you when I get to the auditorium.”

  I brushed my fingertips against Simon’s granite jaw and it relaxed imperceptibly, although he still looked angry when I closed the front door behind me.