by S. H. Kolee
Chapter Eighteen
We didn’t talk much on the drive to Connecticut in Ryan’s car. I was still trying to come to grips with what had happened to Jenny. A part of me couldn’t believe that she was actually gone. I couldn’t accept that that her life had been extinguished; she was too vivacious and full of life to just be gone in the blink of an eye. I wanted to cry, I wanted to wail at the injustice of it all and my inability to save her, but that wouldn’t bring her back. The only thing left to do was to make sure that her killers didn’t get away with it.
It was late by the time we got to the address Marie had given us. We pulled up to an apartment building that I instantly recognized. It was the one that I had woken up in, the one Marie had brought us to after saving us from Lenore and my father.
Marie buzzed us up after we rang the bell and we made our way up the stairs. When we entered the apartment, a woman who looked to be in her forties was standing beside Marie.
“This is Sophia,” Marie said and the woman nodded, smiling at us nervously.
“Nice to meet you, Sophia,” I said as I shook her hand, although the last thing I wanted to do was exchange pleasantries. I waited impatiently while Marie introduced Ryan and Simon to Sophia, wanting to move the process along as quickly as possible.
“I’ve told Sophia everything that’s happened, like you asked,” Marie told me. “She’s prepared to help us put you under.”
“Good. Let’s get started.”
Simon grabbed Ryan’s arm as they gathered around me. “If you feel anything going wrong, you better pull her the hell out,” Simon warned.
“I don’t want to put her life at risk any more than you do,” Ryan said grimly as he shook Simon’s hand off.
Simon was watching me with worried eyes as I felt myself slip below as the seers’ energies pushed me down into unconsciousness. I felt my body growing weightless and soon I was aware of nothing besides the interior of my own mind.
I strained my eyes, trying to make out the shape in front of me. I tensed when I finally recognized the figure.
“Jenny?” I asked in a trembling voice. “What are you doing here?”
Jenny’s green eyes looked as vibrant as they had when she was alive. She grinned at me as if she didn’t have a care in the world.
“Me? What are you doing here?” Her smiled faded. “Are you gone too?”
“No,” I whispered. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to save you.”
She shrugged, no longer looking concerned. “You can’t always control what happens. You should know that by now.”
“Do you know what happened to you?” I asked.
“Do you?” she countered.
“Your vardoger tried to kill you and I wasn’t strong enough to destroy it before you drowned.” My voice was filled with pain. “I’m so sorry.”
Jenny arched a brow. “Caitlin, is that really what happened?”
I looked at her confused. “Of course. I was there.”
She shook her head in disappointment. “Don’t believe everything you see with your eyes.”
“Then what really happened?”
“I can’t tell you that,” she said gently. “I’m not even really here.”
I was starting to get disoriented so I tried to focus my thoughts. “Do you know if my father was involved? Do you know where he is?”
“Your father is looking for you. A father always looks for his daughter. He knows you hold all the answers.”
“Where is he?” I asked, feeling myself grow frustrated. “How can I stop him?”
“Opposites attract,” Jenny said, her image and voice growing fainter. I wanted to reach out to grab her, to stop her from leaving, but I felt too weak. “Palladium and iridium. You think they’re opposites but what if they’re together? What happens then?”
“Jenny, wait!” I yelled but she disappeared completely before I was finished calling out her name.
I came to with a jolt, sitting upright as my eyes shot open. I was drenched in sweat and breathing heavily. Simon was kneeling beside me, his face tight with worry.
“Are you okay?” he asked. I nodded, feeling weak as I sank back into the chair. Marie, Sophia and Ryan were standing around me with looks of concern on their faces.
“It was difficult bringing you back,” Ryan said, his jaw tight. “I didn’t think you were going to make it.”
I took a deep breath, trying to steady my pulse. “But I did. And I think I may have learned something.”
They listened intently as I recounted what I had seen while under hypnosis. I noticed Sophia’s eyes growing wide in fear at the mention of palladium.
“What do you think about Jenny’s comment about palladium and iridium being together?” I asked when I was done. “What if we combine them and it becomes something we can use?”
“Do you mean like melting them together?” Marie frowned when I nodded. “Palladium is dangerous to seers. It takes away our powers. How could it help us?”
“But maybe the properties change once it’s combined with iridium. Maybe it’s something we can use to defeat my father.”
Marie didn’t look any more convinced. “Even if it’s true, where are we going to find palladium? The only one I know who has some is your father and I doubt he’s going to hand it over if we ask nicely.”
“I have some,” I said. “I brought it with me.”
Sophia’s face whitened and she spoke for the first time since I had come out of hypnosis. “It’s dangerous! You shouldn’t have brought it here!” She looked terrified.
I ignored her, focusing on what needed to be done. “The question is, where can we get them melted together? We can’t exactly do it over the stove.”
“Wait a second,” Ryan said. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. I’m not sure this is a good idea. Sophia’s right. Palladium is extremely dangerous for seers. You shouldn’t be handling it.”
“What do you suggest we do then?” I asked impatiently. “We have nothing else to go on.”
“She’s right,” Simon agreed and I felt a flood of warmth by his support. “We have no other leads right now and we should trust her instincts.”
“I’m not having any part of this,” Sophia said. She turned to Marie with a scowl. “You didn’t say anything about palladium being involved. I’m leaving.”
Marie sighed after Sophia had stormed out of the apartment. “I don’t blame her. Your father has killed a lot of seers using palladium.”
“Marie, please,” I said in supplication. “I think this could really help us.”
She studied me for a few moments and I could see her fighting an internal battle. She then sighed again, seeming resigned.
“Fine. We’ll try it. I think I know someone who can melt the metals together for us. I have a friend who’s an artist. He works with metals and has a studio for metal-working.”
Marie made a quick phone call and I heard her lying glibly to her friend about why we needed help. “We’re in luck,” she said after she ended the call. “He’s willing to help although he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to melt the iridium and palladium since it takes such high levels of heat, but he’s willing to try. We’re going to meet him at his studio.”
I was grateful for Marie’s help. Who else would know someone who worked with metal in Connecticut willing to help us at one o’clock in the morning?
We drove over to her friend’s studio in Marie’s car. We pulled up to what looked like a large warehouse and I could see through the windows that the lights were on. I wasn’t prepared for what I saw when we entered. Huge towering metal sculptures were scattered everywhere, some abstract and some in the shapes of things vaguely familiar that I couldn’t quite recognize. We followed Marie to the back that was sectioned off into a workshop. A large man who looked more like a linebacker than an artist greeted us.
“This is Sam,” Marie said simply. She turned to Sam. “These are the people I was telling you about.”
“Marie told m
e you have pieces of iridium and palladium you want to melt down together.” Sam’s voice didn’t match his body. It was quiet and gentle.
“Yes,” I said politely, and then proceeded to try to match the story I had heard Marie tell him over the phone. “They’re of sentimental value to me because they belonged to my parents who passed away when I was young. No one’s willing to melt them down for me without charging an exorbitant fee.”
Sam raised his eyebrows at me. “I can’t imagine someone being in such a hurry to wake me up in the middle of the night for sentimental value.” I tensed at his skepticism, praying that he wasn’t going to change his mind about helping us. I was relieved when he held his hand out.
“Let’s see them.”
I handed him the palladium coin and Marie gave him an extra piece of iridium she had. He frowned when he saw the palladium. He shifted his hand around, his frown deepening at the shadows it cast.
“Are you sure this is palladium? This doesn’t look anything like it.”
“It’s palladium,” Marie said shortly. “Let’s get on with it so we can all get some sleep.”
Instead of being offended by Marie’s curtness, Sam just nodded and turned away. I watched fascinated as he put on large gloves and goggles and picked up a long metal cylinder that I assumed was a torch. He turned his head back towards us.
“You should move away.”
We all scurried back as Sam proceeded to place the pieces of metal in a blackened round container. I flinched when fire erupted from the end of the torch, the sound surprising me more than the sight. I watched mesmerized as he kept the torch trained on the iridium and palladium, praying that he would be able to melt them together.
It seemed like forever when he finally turned off the torch. He moved deftly for such a large man as he used large iron tongs to pick up the container and pour the molten metal into a small round mold. I moved closer once he had taken off his goggles.
“The palladium took a long time to melt. Longer than I thought it would,” Sam said, wiping his brow. ‘It needs to cool for a bit before it can be handled.”
I stared at the dull piece of metal in the mold, wondering if this was what would help me defeat my father. It looked like a simple piece of round metal and nothing seemed magical about it. I hoped that I hadn’t misinterpreted what Jenny had told me under hypnosis.
We were silent as we waited for the metal to cool down. It was a bit awkward and I was relieved when Sam finally released the metal from the mold and handed it to me. It was still slightly warm in my hand and I gripped it tightly, waiting to feel some sort of energy or vibration from it, but there was nothing.
“Why don’t I hold onto it for you,” Ryan said. “We don’t know what it can do, and it’s safer for you if it’s not on you.”
“No,” Simon said emphatically. “Who knows what the hell you’ll do with it. I’ll hold onto it.”
Ryan glared at Simon and I suppressed a sigh. Both of them were irritating me with the assumption that I needed to be protected.
“I’ll hold onto it,” I said in a voice that brooked no argument. “We have no idea what powers it has, if any. You’re both in no less danger than I am, so it’s pointless to argue about who holds onto it.”
Both Simon and Ryan looked like they wanted to argue. I glanced at Sam worriedly, having forgotten he was there, but he didn’t seem surprised by our conversation. He obviously knew our cover story was fake but it didn’t seem to perturb him in the least.
“We should go,” Marie said before the conversation could continue. She turned to Sam and kissed him quickly on the lips. “Thanks for your help.”
I couldn’t help wondering about the nature of Sam and Marie’s relationship as we walked out. I was no longer surprised that Sam had gotten out of bed and helped us so late at night since there seemed to be something romantic between the two of them. I wondered how much he knew about Marie being a seer. Despite the fabrication she had told him about why we needed his help, he hadn’t seemed the least bit surprised to hear us talking about powers.
We were quiet on the way back to the apartment, fatigue weighing heavily on all of us. I collapsed onto the sofa when we got back and Simon sat next to me, putting his arm around my shoulders. I leaned into him, comforted by his warmth.
“Now what?” Marie asked, sitting in the chair opposite us. I held the metal disk tightly in my hand, trying to will it to give me some insight.
“There’s no reason to stay up all night worrying about what to do next,” Ryan answered. “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m exhausted. I say we get some sleep and try to get a new perspective on things in the morning.”
I didn’t argue because I was tired as well, especially after being put under hypnosis, and Simon and Marie didn’t disagree either. We silently got ready for bed although there was brief argument about who would take the bedroom. I insisted that Marie take it since she had more of a claim on this apartment than any of us, but she refused, insisting that she found the couch more comfortable. It was finally agreed upon that Simon and I would take the bedroom while Marie would take the couch and Ryan would sleep on the floor.
“How are you feeling?” Simon asked softly when we had finally settled into bed. Despite the darkness, I could feel his gaze on me.
“Tired. Confused. Ready for something to happen,” I replied. “I’m tired of waiting for my father to attack. I’m tired of being on the defensive.”
“I know, but you’re not just waiting around for things to happen. You put your life at risk by going under hypnosis today. I would say that’s pretty proactive.”
I couldn’t help giving a small bitter laugh. “That’s not worth much considering how I failed Jenny. I thought I was getting so strong. That I could defeat any vardoger. And then when it mattered the most, I failed.”
Simon pulled me towards him, cradling me close. I buried my face in his neck, wanting to blot out the image of Jenny’s cold gray lips and lifeless body as she lay next to the pool. I tried to replace it with the memory of what she had looked like alive; laughing green eyes and an infectious smile. I remembered the first time we had met. Sarah had introduced us and despite my shyness, I had felt an immediate connection to her as she hugged me enthusiastically despite us being strangers. Even though she hadn’t known my secrets, she had accepted me despite what must have seemed like my quirks and eccentricities. It was so unfair that her life had been so easily taken away. The thought of her life that would never be realized, the thought that she would never graduate college, have a first job, or get married and have children, was too cruel. I felt a wetness on Simon’s neck, not realizing until I pulled back that it was my own tears.
“It’s not your fault,” Simon whispered as he wiped the tears from my cheeks. His eyes glinted in the dim moonlight streaming through the window. “I don’t know what the hell happened when we tried to pull her out. One moment I had my hand around her arm, the next moment I was being shot back like I was electrocuted.” His jaw tensed. “I don’t understand it. I should have been able to save her. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine, not yours.”
He looked down at me and I could see in his eyes that he really believed it was his fault. I reached up and gently caressed his jaw, realizing that I wasn’t the only one in pain.
“It wasn’t your fault. You tried to save her.” I took a deep shuddering breath. “Let’s not waste time blaming ourselves. The real person responsible is my father. I know he’s connected somehow. He’s going to pay.”
Simon gently cupped my cheek with his hand. “We’ll make sure he gets what he deserves. But don’t lose yourself in all the hate. You’re more than just a device to get revenge on your father. You have your life ahead of you as well. Don’t forget that. Don’t do anything that risks your future.”
I knew Simon was telling me not to be reckless and put myself in jeopardy, but I was the last person I was worried about. I didn’t want to talk anymore. I wanted to get out of my
head and just feel. I pulled his head down towards me so that our lips were almost touching.
“Just promise to always stay with me,” I whispered, feeling a sharp need for him. I couldn’t imagine going through this without him and I told him so. “I can’t do this without you.”
Simon tightened his arm around me, pulling my body flush against his. His voice was fierce when he spoke. “You’ll never have to worry about that. I promise I’ll always be with you. I love you, Caitlin.”
Instead of telling him, I showed him how much I loved him with my lips and hands and body. Soon I was lost in a sea of sensations, trying desperately to replace my pain with pleasure.
Chapter Nineteen
I woke up breathless, the images of my dream still fresh in my mind as if it had just actually happened. I tried to squelch the automatic horror at the gruesomeness of my dream so that I could recall every detail. It had been the same one of Ryan lying in a pool of blood in my apartment as he pressed his mother’s iridium medallion into my hand.
Simon was still fast asleep beside me and I tried not to disturb him as I shifted in bed, attempting to get comfortable as I analyzed my dream. It was then that I heard a shout from the living room. Simon shot up in bed at the same time I did, but he was much faster than I was as he jumped out of bed and bounded to the bedroom door, flinging it open. I followed him quickly, my heart pounding against my chest so hard that I wouldn’t have been surprised if Simon had heard it.
Simon flicked on the light and my heart started to calm when I saw Marie sitting up on the couch, rubbing her eyes against the sudden light. Ryan was already up and crouched as if he were getting ready to attack at a moment’s notice. He looked at us blankly when the light turned on, as if he wasn’t fully awake. He slowly seemed to become aware of his surroundings as his body relaxed and he slumped into a sitting position on the floor.
“What the hell is going on?” Simon asked grumpily. “We heard shouting.”
Ryan looked up at us wearily, looking spent. His gaze honed in on me. “That was me. I had a dream about your father. He’s getting closer. I’m able to feel his energy again.”
