Every Time We Kiss

by Christie Kelley

  But when she picked up her ticket, her shoulders sagged. Her ship didn’t leave for five days. Even if she could stay at an inn for that time, her brother would find her. Her family would convince her to remain here. Jennette could not do that.

  After what Matthew did to her tonight, she could never show her face in Society again. She had ruined her family’s name by hiding the truth about John’s death. Her options had run out, it was time to leave.

  As she packed her money away, she thought about what to do. There had to be ships leaving sooner. Maybe even with the morning tide. Unfortunately, most of the ships leaving London were trade ships, not passenger vessels. She prayed there would be at least one ship that would allow her passage. The trip to Portsmouth where she could find a passenger ship would take too much additional time.

  While she’d always thought Florence would be the perfect place to live, too many of her friends knew her destination. Perhaps it would be better to try a different country, farther away from England. She returned to the linen-press and picked out a black hat with a veil. She hadn’t worn this hat since her father died.

  Glancing in the mirror, she knew she looked the part she would need to play. The grieving widow moving to be closer to her…her…cousins, she decided. With tears still welling in her eyes and her heart in pieces, she felt every bit the part.

  Never had she imagined a pain like the one she felt tonight. She’d been so sure of his love.

  She looked over at the small clock on her nightstand and pressed her lips together. If she didn’t leave now, her family would find her. Now, she just had to sneak out the back door.

  Knowing Grantham would not leave his post by the front door until her mother returned, she would have to opt for the servants’ staircase. She peered out the door of her room and noticed no one in the hall. On tiptoes, she raced to the small rear staircase. Stopping at the top step, she listened for voices from below. Most of the servants should have retired for the night by now.

  Her luck held as she walked down the creaky steps. Entering the study, she released her breath when she found no one around. An eerie silence filled the entire house tonight.

  A commotion at the front door indicated her mother, if not Avis and Banning, had returned home. Her feet refused to move forward. Instead, with one hand on the doorknob, she listened.

  “Yes, ma’am. She returned home an hour ago,” Grantham said.

  “Thank goodness,” her mother said. “I will go to her now.”

  “Ring if you need anything, my lady.”

  “Thank you, Grantham. We shall be all right, you may retire for the night.”

  Jennette desperately wished she could give her mother a hug before she left. She wanted to see her mother one last time. But she could not. For all she knew, the investigators would be knocking at the door any minute. Because of her actions, she would never see her family or friends again.

  She opened the door, looked back, and whispered, “Goodbye, Mother.”

  Chapter 24

  After pacing his dusty study all night, Matthew could not wait another moment to see her. He’d spent the night chastising himself for telling Vanessa what had really happened five years ago. He should have known better. A mistress wasn’t always discreet no matter how much money lavished on her.

  Especially a mistress who thought she was in love.

  He’d had no idea what love truly felt like until Jennette. Now he almost understood why Vanessa acted as she had. He would do anything to get Jennette back into his life.

  He hadn’t seen her since last night and it felt as if it had been months. He missed her smile, her sparkling eyes dancing with humor, the sound of her laugh.

  But before he could see her, he had to make himself look decent. He raced up the stairs to ready himself. After quickly shaving and changing into decent clothes, he splashed more water on his face. Hearing the front door open, he assumed it was Somerton. He was the only one who ever called on him…except the one visit from Jennette.

  “Who’s there?” he shouted down the stairs, hoping it was Jennette and not Somerton.

  “Selby. Is Jennette here?”

  Matthew raced down and almost skidded into Selby. “What do you mean? Isn’t she at Lady Elizabeth’s?”

  “Dammit!” Selby yelled, throwing his hat across the hall. “You were my last hope. I thought she might have come to you for an explanation.”

  “I haven’t seen her since last night. You told me to stay away until morning.” He never should have listened to Selby. Speaking with her last night would have calmed her.

  “She left Lady Elizabeth’s around eleven and returned home. Then, a short while later, she departed out the door in the back of the house.” Selby cursed again.

  Matthew grasped the banister for support. How could she have left? Fear and embarrassment, you idiot, his mind reminded him.

  “Where else might she have gone?”

  “I haven’t been able to check with Miss Seaton or Miss Reynard. She might have gone to one of them last night.”

  Matthew stared at Selby’s pale face. “But you don’t think so, do you?”

  “Let’s check with her friends before we go to the wharf.”

  “The wharf!” Matthew’s voice rose. “Why in God’s name would she have gone there?”

  “We’re wasting time, Blackburn. We need to speak with her friends.” Selby picked up his hat and then swung the door open. He strode for his carriage.

  “Selby!”

  “In the carriage, Blackburn.”

  Matthew followed as anger and frustration bit at his heels. An overwhelming ache radiated from his heart. He had to find her. The idea of life without her made his entire body slow to a stop. He would find her. It didn’t matter where she went, he would travel to the ends of the world to find her.

  She had to forgive him.

  The carriage stopped in front of Miss Seaton’s home for orphaned children. He charged up the stairs before Selby reached the first step. After he banged on the door, a small woman with blond hair and spectacles slowly opened it.

  “May I help you?” She glanced around him and said, “Lord Selby, this is a surprise.”

  “Miss Seaton, please excuse our intrusion. Have you seen my sister?”

  “Jennette? Not since two days ago.” Her blue eyes rounded behind metal spectacles. “What happened to her?”

  “She is missing. If she stops by, please send word to Avis and my mother,” Selby said.

  “And keep her occupied here until one of us comes for her,” Matthew added.

  Miss Seaton frowned but nodded just the same. “Good day.”

  Matthew turned around and went back to the carriage. “Where does Miss Reynard live?”

  “Only three blocks away.”

  “Why would she have gone to the wharf, Selby?”

  Selby grimaced. “She had planned to leave for Florence in four days.”

  Matthew stared silently out the window. His heart felt as if someone had ripped it out of his chest. She had planned to leave and not marry him. Not once in all their conversations had she mentioned her intentions to leave. He raised his fists to the side of his head. None of this made sense.

  She’d written that note to him telling him she’d found him a bride. She had dressed as Aphrodite. Why would she have gone to all that trouble if she intended to leave anyway?

  “Her ship doesn’t leave for four days, so she could be at any of the inns by the docks,” Selby said, interrupting Matthew’s internal debate.

  “None of which is terribly savory,” Matthew replied. “Why would she leave here instead of Portsmouth?”

  Selby raised a black brow at him, reminding Matthew of Jennette. “Time is of the essence. She knows I will be searching for her, and quite possible you, too.”

  “Selby…”

  “What?”

  “She might have exchanged her ticket for passage on a trade ship that leaves earlier.” Or had already left.

 
Selby frowned and shook his head. “I know.”

  As the carriage stopped in front of Miss Reynard’s house, Matthew’s foreboding grew. The possibilities of what might have happened ran rampant in his head. She could be hurt. Someone might have kidnapped her.

  Or, she might have just left you for good, his mind reasoned.

  Dread slowed his pace. Selby knocked on the door and an ancient butler showed them both into the small antechamber. Selby talked to the man but Matthew didn’t even listen. His mind continued its crazed debate about why she left and where she could be right now.

  “Lord Selby and Lord Blackburn, welcome.”

  Matthew looked to see an exotic woman with dark hair and almond eyes the color of slate looking at them. He’d heard of Miss Reynard and how she had become the toast of the ton with her ability to make matches and tell fortunes.

  “I need your help, Miss Reynard,” Selby said.

  “Of course you do. But I think Lord Blackburn requires my assistance even more than you, Lord Selby.” Miss Reynard smiled softly at Matthew and then clasped her bare hands with his. “She is safe.”

  “Where is she?” he asked insistently.

  “She feels she must leave.”

  “Then she was here!” Matthew said.

  “No, my lord. She has not been here in days.” She squeezed his hands in comfort. “But I do know my dear friend. She must have decided she had no choice but to leave.”

  “Where?”

  Miss Reynard shook her head and frowned. “I do not know for certain. In fact, I don’t think she knows where she is going. I sense she is safe but in terrible pain.”

  Pain. “Physical pain? Did someone hurt her?” he whispered.

  “You will have to discover that for yourself.”

  “Come along, Blackburn. Miss Reynard cannot help us,” Selby said, dragging him away from the medium.

  Anger surged within him like a raging flood. When the door shut behind them, he said, “She knows more than she is telling.”

  To Matthew’s amazement, Selby laughed.

  “Miss Reynard is never forthcoming with her information. But if Jennette were in any real danger, she would have let me know.”

  “How can you be so confident?” Matthew asked.

  “Without Miss Reynard’s assistance, my lovely wife would have made a huge mistake. When Miss Reynard discovered what Avis planned, she came to me. I trust her.” Selby clambered into the carriage.

  “Now what?”

  “The wharf. We shall check the inns and all ships sailing either today or in the next few days.”

  “That could take days!”

  Selby closed his eyes. “We will find her.”

  If only Matthew had such confidence. The long trip to the wharf only reminded him that every second exhausted could mean losing her forever. As much as he wanted to, he didn’t have the funds to chase her all over the globe.

  They had to find her before it was too late.

  Before he lost the only woman he ever loved.

  Jennette picked up her new ticket and then returned to the inn she’d retired to last night. Thankfully, the inn appeared to be decent enough. Still, she had shoved a nightstand in front of the locked door last evening in case any drunken sailors had taken notice of her.

  As she entered the gathering hall, several men turned and stared at her. She released a breath blowing the lacy veil out in front of her. Even though she was wearing her widow’s dress, one man slowly approached her.

  “Afternoon, ma’am,” he said with a small grin. “Do you need any assistance?”

  “No, thank you. I know exactly what I am doing.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “I’ll bet you do,” he said in a low voice. “I’ll bet you know exactly what yer doin’.”

  “Excuse me. I need to get my things and leave.”

  The man licked his lips as he surveyed her from breast to toe. “What ship are you sailin’?”

  Dear God, no. What if this man was a sailor on the ship? “I never said I was sailing anywhere. Perhaps I just arrived and happen to be waiting for my coach.”

  “Awfully long wait, if yer askin’ me.”

  Jennette drew herself up to her full height and looked him directly in his bloodshot eyes. “I don’t believe I was asking you anything.”

  The other men in the room chuckled as this sailor’s cheeks became as red as his eyes. Before he could say another word, she walked around him and up to her room. Once the door locked behind her, she let out a long-held breath. She lifted the black veil covering her face. This entire situation was mad.

  How could she take such a long voyage without incurring another sailor’s attention? She had no protector, not even a maid with her. Hugging herself, she glanced around the pitiful room. With only a small bureau, bed, and nightstand, the room was still twice the size of the cabin she’d secured.

  How could she do this?

  How could she leave him?

  She shook her head and tensed her muscles. This was all his fault. His mistress announced to the world what she’d done and the only way Vanessa could have discovered the truth was if he’d told her.

  She should hate him.

  Or at least try.

  Instead, all her soft heart could imagine was Matthew lying beside her in bed. His heart beating softly in her ear. His strong arms comforting her.

  “No! I will not let him do this to me any longer,” she shouted in the empty room.

  Digging her watch out of her gown pocket, she realized that the ship departed in four hours. The man who sold her the ticket had told her that she could board now. The time had come to start her life anew.

  A new life…a new identity. No one would be able to find her now.

  She lowered her veil again, then picked up her valise and with a quick look in the mirror, she started her new life.

  Matthew rushed into the next shipping office. They had been searching half the day with no luck at all. Selby had decided to try a different agency. As Matthew raced into the room, the man behind the counter cringed.

  “I need your help,” Matthew said when he reached the counter. “Did a woman come in here today seeking passage on one of your ships?”

  The man scrutinized him. “Why do you want to know?”

  “She’s my wife. We had a terrible argument but I now realize that I was wrong. I must apologize and get her back.”

  The man laughed. “We’ve all been in that situation.”

  “Can you help me?”

  “Yes. A woman dressed as a widow came in here this morning and wanted to exchange a ticket to Livorno to anything that would sail this morning. A Mrs. Talbot.”

  Matthew clenched his fists. He’d missed her. She had already sailed and now he had no way of reaching her. He just had to get through this—then he could return to his dilapidated home and drink himself to oblivion. But for Selby’s sake, he had to find out where she went.

  “What city did she depart for?” he whispered harshly.

  “New York.”

  “Thank you.” He turned to leave but stopped as the man spoke up again.

  “Sir, she hasn’t left yet.”

  Matthew spun around. “What?”

  “We had no ships leaving this morning. The soonest will leave with the evening tide at five.”

  “Can I get her?”

  The man nodded with a smile. “Just be off the ship by half past four. Tell the sailor on guard that Charlie gave you permission.”

  Matthew reached over the counter and shook the man’s hand. “Thank you, Charlie. I will never forget this.”

  “Get your wife, my lord.”

  With lightning strides, he reached the ship and raced up the gangplank. He only had an hour to convince her that she couldn’t leave. The sailor on guard pointed him to her cabin.

  Once he reached her cabin, he stood outside the door for a few moments. Finally, he knocked on the door.

  “Mrs. Talbot, it’s the captain. Might I have a word
with you?”

  Chapter 25

  Jennette smiled hearing the captain’s low voice outside her door. The first mate had told her the captain would introduce himself once he had the time. She’d expected their meeting would occur after they had set sail.

  “Just a minute, Captain.”

  She glanced in the mirror and sighed. The bedraggled sight reflected back looked in no condition to meet anyone. She pushed the stray hairs back into her chignon and knew there was nothing she could do about the dark circles under her eyes. If nothing else, she looked the grieving widow.

  She started to open the door only to have it pushed out of her grip. Stumbling backwards, she gasped when she noticed him.

  Matthew slammed the door behind him and glared at her. “Do you have any idea what you have put me and your entire family through today?”

  Anger surged in her. How dare he come in her room? How dare he find her?

  “Get out. I have already written a note to my family so they will know where I am.”

  His gray eyes turned to hard slate. “And me? I suppose you were going to send me a note too?”

  “No,” she said, glaring back at him. “You don’t deserve a note or anything else from me.”

  “Oh?” He took a menacing step closer to her.

  She parried with a step sidewise. “After all, you were the one who finally realized the only way to regain your name was to have your mistress tell everyone the truth. You don’t need me any longer. You have your name and now some innocent miss will love to be the next Countess Blackburn.”

  His hand snaked out and clutched her arm. As he pulled her close to him, she tried to ignore his wholly masculine scent. She couldn’t let herself fall victim to his intoxicating charms.

  “You are quite wrong about everything,” he whispered. “I don’t have my name back. And I don’t want an innocent miss in my bed or my life.”

  Jennette pulled back and frowned at him. “How could you not have your name back? She told everyone the truth.”

  His lips tilted upward. “Do you honestly think anyone would believe a disgruntled mistress?”