Hard Love

by Meredith Wild

  We’d talked through as much as we could and we both agreed to meet with Sid after the hearing to see if he might be able to find the code. I didn’t want to ask him to put his own freedom in jeopardy, but my desperation was growing by the minute. Beyond that small sliver of hope that Sid might be able to help, I was struggling to see any light at the end of this dreadful tunnel. We were no closer to finding Trevor than we had been when I’d come home from Dallas.

  Arguably, I was still in shock that Blake had been led away in handcuffs only a day ago. And now this… Now he wasn’t even going to be able to come home to me.

  “They denied his bail, Marie. I can’t even see him. I don’t know what I’m going to do now. We were going to try to get to the bottom of this together, and now he’s not even here.”

  Marie brushed away the tears that kept coming, hushing me softly. She did that until my sobs slowed. I hiccupped, trying to catch a full breath through my misery.

  “Baby girl, look at me. It’s going to be all right,” she whispered.

  I stared into the beautiful caramel irises of her eyes. Her hair fell in long twists around her face. She was a beautiful woman with a beautiful heart. But when it came to the hard realities of the world, she could be naïve. I’d seen her heart break too many times to believe she could stop this freight train of hurt that I was riding right now.

  “I see fear in your eyes, but I see your fire too. I know you want Blake to be the strong one. When it comes to protecting you, I believe he always will be. But he needs you now. He needs you to be strong.”

  Strong. What did that even mean in the context of what was going down now? I considered myself strong. Flawed, sensitive, sure. But when times got hard, when life served up its worst, I’d always found a way to pick myself back up.

  I’d been a strong person all my life, but somehow going it alone was different now. I took responsibility for my own pain, my own struggles and circumstances. Now I shared those with Blake. As much as we’d like to battle our demons alone, when one of us was hurting, so was the other. We’d joined our joys and our burdens.

  And nothing could release us from the ways we were bound together now…

  “I’m pregnant, Marie.”

  A mix of joy and concern filled her eyes. “Oh my God. Oh my God. Erica, why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I only found out a few days ago. We had an appointment on Monday, and everything looks good. We weren’t going to start telling people yet.”

  More tears came, raining over that remembered happiness. How could this all have fallen apart so fast? When it seemed like Blake and I couldn’t be any stronger or happier, circumstances had come in and threatened to take it all away.

  Marie was silent for a long time. When she spoke, her eyes glistened. “I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now, honey.”

  I pressed my fingers against my eyelids, trying to stem the tears that simply kept coming.

  “I can feel Patricia looking down on us right now.”

  I looked up, Marie’s face blurry through my tears. Through all of this, I hadn’t thought about my mother, but suddenly I could feel her too… through Marie’s love.

  “And I know that she’s happy, beaming with joy. What you’re going through isn’t easy, and my heart is breaking for you, Erica, but this is a blessing you’ve been given for a reason. Hold on to it. Fight for it. Let this be your reason to stay strong for all of you.”

  A spark of hope lit inside me. I reached for it, but I was so far from any kind of comfort. My tears had slowed and I sucked in an unsteady breath. “I’d like to believe that having her here right now could make things better somehow. I just don’t see how it could get any worse.”

  She brushed away an errant tear and tucked my hair back. “Why don’t you come back home with me for a little bit?”

  I looked down and twisted my wedding bands around my finger over and over again without answering her.

  “You shouldn’t be in that big house all by yourself. Come stay with me. Even if it’s only for a day or two. A change of scenery can’t hurt.”

  I’d only just come back home. But she was right. Every second in the house reminded me that Blake wasn’t in it.

  “I should go back. Blake’s parents are close by if I need anything,” I muttered.

  “I know, but they’re dealing with their own grief over this. Let me take care of you for a little bit until Blake can come home. You’re tired and overwhelmed. I know how you are. You’ll sit with this and make yourself sick over it. Stay with me and we can talk it out.”

  Maybe she was right. I nodded, surrendered to the idea. “Okay. Let me go home and pack a bag.”

  “Want me to drive you?”

  “No, that’s okay. I’ll go with Clay and have him give me a ride to your place a little later. I want to talk to Blake’s parents and see what the attorney said.”

  I still had to swing by the office, too. As hopeless as I felt, I couldn’t go hide out at Marie’s, convalescing until this blew over. I had to pursue every lead I could until it brought me closer to the truth.

  “Okay. Call me when you’re on your way or if anything comes up.”

  “I will. Thank you.” I sighed heavily, unburdened of some tears, but feeling no lighter.

  Marie caught my hand and held it tight. “I’m always here for you. No matter what.”

  I thanked her again, stepped from the car, and let her drive away. I found Clay on the other side of the parking lot. He drove me back to Marblehead and dropped me at Blake’s parents’ house. I paused at their door, wondering if I should knock, but decided to just go in.

  Fiona, Catherine, Alli, and Heath were in the kitchen.

  “What’s Parker going to say?” Heath asked.

  Fiona pinched the bridge of her nose. “I honestly don’t know what to say to him. I can try to explain that Blake was just trying to protect me, but obviously this is a huge invasion of privacy.”

  The door clicked shut behind me and I walked in.

  “Erica, honey. Come in.” Catherine motioned me over.

  She hugged me when I was close enough. My whole body tensed. I couldn’t cry anymore. I’d decided last night that I was done crying, yet I’d already broken down today.

  She released me with a shaky breath. “Come on. Let’s go sit down.”

  She ushered us to the living room, where we all sat. Greg’s figure caught my attention. He was on the deck, leaning against the railing, his back to us.

  The water was angry today, blending into an unfeeling gray sky. Sometimes I would wonder what it might be like to be out there, stranded in the midst of the waves and the cold, at the mercy of a merciless Mother Nature. That’s how I felt in this moment. Maybe I wasn’t alone in that either.

  My heart ached for Catherine and Greg. Today had been devastating for me. I couldn’t imagine what this was doing to them. And they didn’t know about the baby yet. Alli and Heath knew, but I was glad now that we hadn’t told the rest of the family. Knowing Blake’s freedom was in jeopardy, I couldn’t share the news with them now.

  “What did the lawyer say?” I asked.

  “He’s got his work cut out for him,” Heath said. “The police traced Blake’s computer activity when you all got back from the honeymoon. We all know he hacked Parker’s accounts. Obviously he wasn’t trying to be malicious, but they’re going to try to nail him on it.”

  Fiona’s phone rang. “That’s Parker.” She shook her head and set the phone to vibrate. “I can’t believe Blake would do this. What the hell was he thinking?”

  “He was only looking out for you, Fiona,” Catherine said.

  “He should know better. My God, how many times does he need to learn his lesson?” She threw her hands up, as angry as I’d ever seen her.

  “This is what he does, Fiona. You know he doesn’t always follow the rules,” Heath said.

  “He invests in real estate and software development. I didn’t realize he made a habit of illegal
ly hacking into people’s affairs.”

  Catherine shook her head, her eyes glistening again. “All these years, and I can’t believe we’re right back here again. It’s a nightmare. A living nightmare.”

  Alli was silent beside me. My hand rested on my stomach. I wasn’t sure if I was reassuring the baby that everything was going to work out, or if I was silently asking it for reassurance. In this room surrounded by family, I felt like we were a team of two.

  “This is who he is,” I finally said. “I don’t like it any better than any of you do, but frankly he can’t help that it’s so easy for him to do these things. It’s a talent—an unethical one, maybe. But it’s who he is. It’s why none of us will ever want for anything. You can’t vilify him for that.”

  Silence fell on the room. Catherine blew her nose into a tissue and left the room without a word. She returned with a bottle of wine under her arm and both hands full of wineglasses.

  Heath gave her a concerned look. “Mom, it’s not even eleven o’clock.”

  “I couldn’t care less,” she muttered.

  I heard the front door open and close again, and a few seconds later, Parker was joining us in the living room.

  Fiona’s eyes lit up. “Parker… What are you doing here?”

  His lips were tight. “You’re not answering my calls. I was worried.”

  She tucked her short brown hair behind her ears and avoided his stare. “I guess we need to talk.”

  He winced. “I already know about all of it. Your brother is a nosy bastard.” He shot a knowing look among all of us. “And I don’t give a shit. I care more that I haven’t seen you or spoken to you with all this going on.”

  As her gaze fluttered to his, her lower lip trembled. “I’m sorry. I thought you’d be angry.”

  His eyes fixed on her, as if she were the only person in the room. “Fiona… this doesn’t change anything.”

  She exhaled audibly and stood up. He reached for her. She took his hand, and he pulled her into a tight embrace. They stood that way a moment before a flushed Fiona led him swiftly away from the room and us.

  Catherine sighed and shook her head. “Thank goodness,” she muttered under her breath as she began to pour the wine into glasses.

  “I’m going to go make myself some tea, if you don’t mind,” I said when she set a glass in front of me.

  “Let me make it for you, dear,” Catherine said.

  “I can get it,” I insisted and disappeared into the kitchen.

  A minute later, Heath came up beside me and took a mug from the cabinet for himself. Catherine’s and the other’s voices were a mere murmur. Fiona and Parker were nowhere to be seen.

  “You okay?” he asked, helping himself to the tea bags.

  “What do you think?”

  His light hazel eyes were filled with the concern I shared. “Gove will get him out of this, Erica. Blake isn’t the first wealthy guy to get out of a legal bind.”

  I closed my eyes and rested my hands on the counter. “I’m tired of people telling me that everything is going to be okay. I’m tired of walking through life with this blind faith that everything will magically work out. That somehow I can trust everyone to care as much as I do, to do their jobs, to find the truth that no one seems to want to find as badly as I do.”

  His jaw tightened. “Gove wants to start moving some of Blake’s assets over to me and you, in case things get worse.”

  “No,” I said simply.

  His lips thinned. “Do you want to have faith, or do you want to start planning for the worst-case scenario?”

  “Neither. I want to fix this.” I paused and faced him. “And I will.”

  “Let Gove do what he needs to—”

  “You want to motivate me, Heath?” I looked up at him, my jaw resolute. “Then tell me no. Tell me I can’t, or that I shouldn’t.”

  “All I’m saying is that I know that more than anything Blake wants you safe and taken care of.”

  “If he wants me taken care of, he can come home and do it himself. Otherwise, I’m taking care of myself, and I’m going to get to the bottom of this if it’s the last thing I do.”

  Before he could respond, my phone dinged from my pocket. I pulled it out. A text came in from a local number I didn’t recognize.

  I have what you’re looking for. Park Street station.

  I read the text over, my heart racing. Was it Daniel?

  Heath finished making our tea, while I contemplated what to write back.

  E: When?

  One hour. I’ll find you.

  I checked my watch. As long as we didn’t hit traffic, Clay could get me there on time.

  “I have to go,” I said suddenly.

  Heath frowned. “Where are you going?”

  I ignored his question and went toward the door. “Tell Catherine I’m sorry. I had to run.”

  I hurried home, packed an overnight bag for Marie’s, and directed Clay to drive us into the city. He pulled us up to the Park Street station with five minutes to spare.

  “Wait for me here,” I said.

  We made eye contact in the rearview.

  “You need me to go in with you?”

  “No, I’ll be fine.” This wouldn’t work with Clay hovering.

  He turned in his seat, eyeing me cautiously. “I’ve known you long enough to know the look you get when you’re doing something Blake wouldn’t want you doing.”

  “If it were up to Blake, I’d never leave the damn house. I’m just going to meet someone quick. I’ll be fine. I promise.”

  He hesitated. “It’s my job to keep you safe, Erica.”

  That was the second time he’d used my name. Both times had gotten my attention. I appreciated his concern but I couldn’t let it get in my way right now. “It’s a busy station, Clay. If I’m not back in ten minutes, you can start worrying, okay?”

  He turned back and dropped a hand on the steering wheel. “Five minutes.”

  I rolled my eyes but didn’t waste another second booking it down to the trains. Park Street was a busy station, even busier at the lunch hour. How would this stranger find me in the crowd?

  I stood awkwardly, trying to seem natural, which was impossible when two trains came and went without me. More people crowded on the platform, waiting for the next train. I scanned faces and froze when I landed on one I recognized.

  Shit. I turned and started walking toward the stairs that would bring me back out of the station. I wanted to run but moved slowly enough to seem natural. This could not have been a worse time. I silently prayed that he hadn’t seen me and I could escape unnoticed.

  “Erica!”

  The man’s voice was barely audible over the screaming of the approaching train.

  I kept walking, until a hand came around my wrist and kept me from going any farther. I looked up into Detective Carmody’s eyes, shaded under a baseball cap. He was in street clothes, but there was no mistaking his face. My heart pounded wildly. I yanked my hand back, feeling something small and hard against it. Opening my palm revealed a tiny black thumb drive. I shot my gaze back up to the detective, but that quickly he was gone.

  A rush of warm air blew through my hair as the train pulled away.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  BLAKE

  They’d moved me to a county jail that afternoon. The almost ritualistic process of moving me from place to place and room to room helped keep my thoughts off this morning’s events. The vision of Erica’s face, so hurt, was imprinted on my mind. But now all I had was time and I couldn’t get her out of my head. I felt like someone had ripped out half my insides and told me I could live without them.

  Except I couldn’t fathom how I’d live without Erica for any extended period of time. I could live without money, possessions, or success. But I couldn’t live without that woman.

  At lunchtime I sat down at an empty table and moved my food around the tray. It wasn’t so much disgusting as completely inedible. I dropped my fork and opened the sma
ll carton of milk that reminded me of a hundred school lunches I’d endured.

  I guzzled it down and glanced around me at the offenders who sat at other tables. I couldn’t help but draw parallels. This was far from the school cafeteria, but I wasn’t going to fit in any better here than I had as an angsty adolescent. I convinced myself that I had nothing in common with these people. I had every intention of keeping to myself. Who knew how long I’d have to call this place home?

  “Hey.”

  Max sat down across from me, wearing the same uniform as I was. He set his tray down, as if meaning to stay.

  I sat back and glared. A fine pale line branched across his cheek and instantly I knew it was from the beating I’d given him. The last time I’d seen his face, no one would have recognized him. I balled my fists, reliving the memory and seriously contemplating putting it into action all over again.

  “What the fuck do you want?”

  He wrinkled his brow. “I don’t want a damn thing from you. We’re both in here. I figured you might want to see a friendly face.”

  “Just because we both happen to be here doesn’t mean we’re anywhere close to friendly.”

  “Yeah, well, it doesn’t hurt to have allies.” He glanced around the room before looking back to his food.

  “If you want allies, keep looking. I’m fine on my own.”

  “Whatever,” he muttered.

  We were silent for a while. Unable to ignore the roar in my stomach, I took a bite of my cardboard lasagna and chewed over the hatred I felt for Max. People at the other tables spoke among themselves, ignoring us. True enough, Max didn’t seem like he belonged here any more than I did. He didn’t look like the pretty boy he once was though. His blond hair was overgrown slightly. The pallor of his skin was not its usual unnatural glow.

  “You’re looking pretty rough. No spa in here, huh?”

  He squinted. “You’re one to talk.”

  “Yeah, well, I never cared too much about appearances.” I scrubbed my hand over the stubble on my jaw. I hadn’t shaved yet. Didn’t figure that mattered much now.

  “It showed.”