I barely shake my head just as confused. “I have no idea.”
Lia, Asher, Gavin, and Brody finally come back to the table with their food and more teenagers have occupied the empty tables around us. I recognize a few of the faces from school. Lia sits down next to me. “Hi Evan,” she says softly.
“Hi Lia.”
She has been sitting with Nikki and I for the past week at school. Nikki says Gavin and Brody normally do as well, but with Spencer acting the way he is at school they prefer to hang out in the courtyard. I ask Nikki if she talked to Brody about it and she says she has, but offers up no other comments so I let it drop.
Gavin sits next to Lia; Brody is directly across from me, actually looking at me as he takes the first bite of his brisket.
“What did he want?” he asks, penetrating me with his radiant and burnished colored eyes. They were a perfect mixture of green and brown making them look like sand with specks of black in them. Brody’s focus on me, waiting for me to answer, is relentless and I can’t stop watching his scruffy jaw move as he chews his food.
Nikki takes up for me, thank God. “Just meeting Evan, again.”
“Meeting her again?” asks Asher, bluntly.
Nikki shrugs her shoulders like she doesn’t get it either. Neither do I. Brody looks over at Spencer and Celine. There is some disappointment there, but I’m not sure why. Then he looks back down at his plate and continues to eat. Celine is giving Spencer an earful about something and I assume it has to do with the people at this table; just a hunch.
NIKKI AND ASHER LEAD THE conversation at our table and Gavin and Lia chime in here and there. I mainly sit and listen and watch. The parents have started to filter in, mingling around and in between the tables, talking with their kids. Celine’s mother and father are just as I imagined, prim and proper looking. Her mother looks like a beauty queen, literally. Her father looks like Prince Charming with his belted and pressed khaki shorts and his turquoise three button polo. Spencer’s parents looked pretty normal. His dad’s explaining something to him while his mother is dotting over him, rubbing his back with her hand like a proud mom. All the other moms and dads are at their kiddos’ sides or in near vicinity. It is strange to watch the parents mingle in groups, aligning with their kids’ cliques. It’s like the cafeteria and high school caste system has migrated from our school, transplanted in the Nicholson’s back yard and now has expanded to the parents. What if I have it backwards? Maybe it expanded from the parents to the kids and that is why it’s at the school now.
“Mom!” Gavin suddenly calls out, like really awkwardly loud.
Everyone, including me, looks at him then in the direction he is waving his hand fervently. The silence that falls over the yard of people is intimidating and I want to do something to make the silence stop, but I don’t know what. The talking among clusters around tables starts to pick up, but everyone’s watchful eyes lead me to believe the conversation is about Gavin, Brody, and his mother and their eyes dart between the three of them. My mother and Nikki’s walk next to Mrs. Ferguson as they approach our table. Suddenly, my mom looks around like she notices what I see; the darting eyes and the conversations hiding behind fake smiles. My mom places her hand on Mrs. Ferguson’s shoulder before she and Nikki’s mom split off to come stand by Nikki and me. As Mrs. Ferguson stands between her two boys, I notice the similarity between her hair and Brody’s. Gavin’s hair is much darker than both of them and I wonder if he takes after his dad.
Brody wipes his mouth and rises from his seat. “Hey, Ma,” he says sweetly as he hugs her.
My heart skips a beat as I watch him show affection for her. Gavin just smiles at her and suddenly I feel sad for both of them; they don’t get to share that same bond because of his problem with touch. That is why she couldn’t go to him the other night when Gavin was having a meltdown on the front lawn of their house.
Mom speaks up first, “Sarah, I would like you to meet my daughter, Evan.”
Sarah looks down at me and I realize instantly that Gavin gets his dark, deep set eyes from her. “Hi Evan, nice to meet you.”
Gavin speaks up, “She is my new friend, Ma.”
Sarah widens her eyes at Gavin. “I know,” then she looks back at me. “You are all these boys talk about, Evan.”
A rush of blood floods my face. She said boys, which means both of them have been talking about me. Brody has been talking about me. His eyes meet mine only for a moment before he looks away. I quickly think of something to do. “Mom, you know Nikki. This is Asher, Brody, Gavin, and Lia.” My eyes linger on Lia since it is safe to look there rather than across the table at Brody.
Mom smiles at them. “So nice to meet you all. I’m sure we will see each other again since we all live so close to each other. Hey Evan, I think Dad and I are going to head home. Sarah is going to walk home with us too,” Mom says.
Linda adds, “I’m leaving too Nik-Nik. Dad has already loaded up the Jeep.”
“Asher, tell your mama I said hi, all right?” Sarah asks.
“Yes, ma’am, Mrs. Ferguson. I will,” Asher says as he rises and gives her a hug. “Would it be okay for Nikki to hang out a bit, Mrs. Bell?”
Linda looks at Nikki. “Sure.”
I feel a little out of place suddenly and decide I should probably head home with Mom and Dad.
Nikki stops me. “Hey, where are you going?”
“I think I’m going to go home.”
“Aww, C’mon. Stay!” Nikki pleads.
Asher adds, “You should totally stay, Evan.”
I look behind me at Mom and I swear the words couldn’t have come out faster, “Yes, go, go, go! It’s fine with me and Dad.” Her eagerness is a little embarrassing.
I look across at Brody who is chewing his food, watching me, waiting for my answer. I figure he won’t want me to stay after butting into his business and the cold shoulder he has been carrying for me. “No, I should go home.”
Nikki pulls me close to her and whispers in my ear. “Why don’t you want to stay?”
“I don’t think Brody wants me to,” I say, quietly.
Suddenly, Brody’s voice rises above Nikki’s and my back and forth whispering. “You should stay.”
We both stop talking and I look across the table at him. He sits back in his chair casually. “If you want to.”
The way he says it is like he is daring me or calling my bluff that I won’t stay now that he has made a big deal out of it to the entire table and my mother.
Mom, Linda, and Sarah start to back away from the table and Mom smiles. “Stay honey, but don’t be too late, all right?”
Nikki assures Mom, “We will make sure she gets home, Mrs. Phillips.”
Mom waves at me and walks off with Sarah between her and Linda, but I still can’t shake Brody staring at me, making me nervous and elated under his intense scrutiny.
Loud laughter from Celine’s table has me looking in their direction, distracting me from Brody. Mr. and Mrs. O’Keefe are talking with Mr. and Mrs. Morietti while Celine and Spencer are huddled together at their table watching Brody and Gavin intently. Suddenly, the music grows louder. Celine’s buddy, Avery, has turned up the music and is dancing back to their table. Gavin rises off his chair, nearly lifting the table up. Brody reacts quickly, stands, and goes to Gavin’s side. I rise too, watching Gavin’s panicked sway become quicker and quicker. He is staring into nothingness and running his upper teeth over his lower lip, obsessively.
“Gavin, are you okay?” Lia asks, but Gavin says nothing.
Nikki and Asher are on alert now and a few other parents from other tables are looking at Gavin swaying and Brody trying to calm him without actually making contact with him, which must be so hard.
“I’m going to get him out of here. The music, it is too loud,” Brody says to Asher.
Celine dances past Brody, putting her arm around his shoulder. “Wanna dance Brody, like we used to?”
She looks at me as the words slither from
her mouth. She does it on purpose to make Gavin react. She knows it would cause him to have one of his . . . episodes or whatever.
Brody looks at me, then shrugs her hands off and leans closer to Gavin. “Let’s go.”
Asher passes in the small space between Celine and Brody, making her take a few steps back. “Not cool Celine,” I hear him say under his breath, then he goes to Gavin’s other side and says, “C’mon Gav, let’s go.”
Celine acts like she is completely innocent in the matter, spins around and starts dancing with Avery as other clusters of people start to join in. Nikki takes hold of my hand and pulls me along as she and Lia follow Asher, Brody, and Gavin.
“Bye Evan,” Spencer’s deep voice is seductive and right next to me now. He tucks his hands deep in his khaki shorts, smiling at me. Nikki tugs my hand and I continue to follow them through the side gate and away from the blaring music.
There are still some people heading to the party since it isn’t quite dusk yet, and we pass them as we walk further away.
“What a bitch?” Nikki says under her breath.
“She told Avery to do that,” Lia comments.
Brody and Asher keep walking at Gavin’s side. Gavin’s stiff, narrow, and much smaller frame is overpowered by those on either side of him. He has stopped swaying; that must be a good thing unless he can’t do it when he is walking. Is walking calming him down?
I look at the back of Brody’s neck, where Celine whispered into it. “Wanna dance Brody, like we used to?” Like we used to... she meant that dig to get me back for earlier.
“Where do you want to go?” Asher asks Brody.
Brody shakes his head, then looks at Gavin. “Gav, do you want to go to Dairy Queen. Get a sundae?”
Gavin doesn’t say anything.
“Gav?” Brody calls again to him as we all keep walking.
Gavin doesn’t respond and doesn’t break his stiff cadence.
“Damn it. He isn’t going to say anything.” Brody runs his hand through his sandy brown hair angrily.
I want to ask what is happening to Gavin, but I’m afraid to say anything at the moment; everything is too panicked and rushed.
Asher pulls his keys from his pocket and I hear the sound of his car alarm and two front head lights blink ahead of us.
His car is big enough to hold only five people. I think everyone realizes this as Brody says, “Gavin has to sit in front. The touching thing.”
Nikki tries to find a solution, “Here, Brody, Lia, and I will sit in the back and...”
“Hey I will just walk home guys,” I say trying to make the solution easier. Even though I want to go with them, I’m not sure it is a good idea with Brody being so tense with me around.
“No Evan, I promised your mom we would take care of you. Get in the car,” she says both gently and demanding in her “I’m bossy but not” tone.
I add logic to the mix, “There is no room.”
Asher has already started the car and Brody has buckled Gavin in and is starting to get into the back seat behind Nikki and Lia.
Nikki calls from inside the car, “Evan, just double buckle or sit on Brody’s lap.”
Did she seriously just say that? She chuckles a little.
“What?” I say. My laughter nudges towards hysteria. Sit on Brody’s lap.
“No,” I say flatly and cross my arms over my chest.
Asher groans, “C’mon, get in Evan.”
Brody sits down and takes up the remainder of the backseat. I gesture toward Brody and his manly and UN-teenager looking size. “There is no room to double buckle.”
I can’t help my voice squeaking a little, I think from nerves actually.
Brody leans his out of the open door and gives me this sly smile that definitely affects me. “Isn’t my lap good enough?”
I’m speechless, like literally speechless. I can’t... no. Words. To. Be. Formed. AT. ALL.
For a good minute mind you. Well, it feels like a minute as I stand there looking down the darkening street at the party still going on.
“What? Thinking about going back to join Spencer?” Brody asks.
I snap to attention and glare at him. “No, I just don’t think my company is wanted much.”
He visibly deflates a little and the anger in his eyes melts away. “Your company is wanted, now c’mon and get in.”
He puts his hand out to me and I take it stepping up into the backseat of the Jeep. I stumble a little; princess grace. Brody catches me around my waist with his strong hands, steadying me physically, but sending my blood pressure soaring. I sit down on his thigh; God I hope my butt isn’t too bony? Hell, what am I saying, I have enough padding in the trunk... maybe too much (side effect of my medication). Awkwardly, he reaches behind me to shut the door and I catch Nikki and Lia smiling unabashedly at my... position. I, on the other hand, am sure to be glowing all shades of red simultaneously and Nikki is just eating it up.
With the door shut behind me, I try and rearrange my arm pressed, as it is, against Brody’s chest. I really get a sense in how up close and personal I am with him; my other hand rests on his broad shoulder.
I try not to look at him, because if I do, I might do something stupid like fall into him. “Sorry,” I say, mainly because of how I’m fidgeting to get somewhat comfortable; huh, it isn’t going to happen, Evan.
“It’s all right,” he says and I can hear the smile on his lips. God, he is so cool and calm. I rest my back against the side wall and stretch my arm behind his head and lean against the top of the backseat.
Suddenly, it feels hot in here.
His hand rests on my lower back, not in a strange way, but in a protective way like he is making sure I am steady.
“Comfortable?” His voice is low and husky and does more to me emotionally than it should.
Thank God it is dark in here. I grin then laugh shortly. “No. Are you?”
As the streetlights flash in the car, I realize his face is like really close to mine. Close enough for me to feel the heat from his words. “I’m good actually.”
Okay, it’s reeaaaallly hot in here now.
What the hell am I doing? His anger melts away, and I see the Brody that invited me over to his house to sit on his back porch, only now it’s his lap.
Asher takes a turn a little tight and my body sways with the motion into Brody. I rest my free hand on his chest to keep from falling into him any further than I already am and his hand moves to my thigh, attempting to steady me.
As quick as he is to grip my thigh, he releases it just as I pull my hand from his chest.
Simultaneously, we whisper, “Sorry,” to each other before Brody chides Asher. “Jesus Ash.”
“My bad, my bad,” Asher calls out.
I hear Nikki snicker and I snap my head in her direction to give her the worst look I can muster, but she is already covering her mouth and looking out her side of the window.
I’m thankful the ride to the local DQ is short, not only because I am sitting on Brody Ferguson’s lap, but because I am taking short and shallow breaths... because I’m sitting on... Brody Ferguson’s lap... and I’m starting to feel...the dizzying effects...from it.
Asher insists on treating us, which was really sweet. Gavin is still quiet as we sit outside on the patio tables. Brody happens to sit next to me, which I’m surprised about. I mean, I know he let me sit on his lap, but sitting next to me voluntarily is different, especially for a guy who has been giving me the cold shoulder for the past three weeks.
Nikki chats about some horror movie she really wants to go see, when Brody leans closer to me. “Hey, I wanted to thank you.”
Thank me? I’m definitely confused. “For what?”
He pokes his half eaten blizzard with his spoon, shrugging a little, then rests his gaze on me. “For taking-up for Gavin in English. You know, with Spencer.” The way he says his name gives me a good idea at how much Brody despises him and how he is.
Brody shakes his head a littl
e. “I wish he would just let us be... Anyway, thank you for taking care of Gav.”
I’m definitely surprised by the 180 degree personality swing Brody has taken. “I thought you would be mad.” I scoop a small spoonful of my Reese’s Peanut Buttercup Blizzard.
Brody spoons a large manly scoop of his into his mouth before he responds. “Yeah, about that. I’m sorry for the other night when you asked me about what happened out front. Sometimes it is hard to talk about it with just anyone.”
I can see he is struggling with the idea of trusting me with what I witnessed. He looks off at the passing cars. “Some people just aren’t accepting and it freaks them out when they see Gavin have one of his moments. I don’t know. I guess I wanted to protect you from that in a weird kind of way and protect us too. I didn’t want you to think...”
He wanted to protect me? The thing is that he doesn’t know me. He hasn’t seen the me who resided in social purgatory for the past three years of high school. He hasn’t seen me at my worst, which is pretty bad. I don’t want him to ever see it, but I want him to know I get it.
He sets his cup down on the table and is about to begin talking again when I stop him mid-thought. “I don’t.”
He looks at me, waiting for me to add to my brief interruption.
I fiddle with my spoon, slipping it around, restlessly, in the quickly melting Blizzard, as I explain. “I don’t get freaked out easily, Brody.”
I want to say more, but I don’t know how to say it without giving part of myself away to him and I’m not ready to do that yet.
“Gavin is an awesome kid and I can see why people might... avoid him or think of him as less of a person.” I shake my head in disgust thinking of Spencer and Celine’s antics. “But, I won’t. I won’t ever do that to a single person.”
Because I have been there. I have been avoided and thought to be the dirt beneath another’s feet. I don’t tell him, but I think it. Brody’s eyes rest on mine when I look up at him. He simply nods and his mouth cracks a small smile. “Okay.”
“Okay?” I question, wondering if everything is going to be all right between us now.
Dismantling Evan Page 15
