His smile widens and all the tension I had been holding onto is completely released from my body.
“Okay, Evan,” he says before he scoops another spoonful of Blizzard into his mouth and glances humbly away from me.
In the bright fluorescent lights, I notice the pink tinge of a blush on his cheeks. Oh my God, I have Brody Ferguson blushing. The markedly gorgeous guy who has had me blushing every time I am in his presence, or sitting on his lap in the back of a Jeep. I have to admit, I feel a small victory having broken the trend, even if it is just this one time, and it makes Brody seem accessible suddenly in a strange way.
“Um, Gav you finished with your sundae?” Brody’s question is clipped and he rises swiftly from his seat. The roar of a truck behind me has everyone rising to their feet, except me. It is Spencer with two of his Neanderthal football buddies hanging out each of the backseat windows. Guess who occupies the front seat next to Spencer? Celine.
Spencer honks the horn three times before he kills the engine and I quickly look after Gavin because I know the loud echoing sound might bother him, but he is already making a bee-line to Asher’s car with Lia by his side. Nikki nudges me in my seat. “Get up Evan.”
I quickly stand next to Brody expecting him and Asher to start walking to the car. I think Nikki does too, because she kind of nudges me, but it is impossible to move with Brody and Asher standing stoically, apparently holding their ground, as Spencer, Celine, and his friends approach our table.
“Brody! How have you been man?” Spencer says smiling ear to ear as he gets closer to us.
Brody buries his hands deep in his pockets to hide his clenched fists. He can’t hide his working, tense jaw though. “Good. You?”
“Good man. Football season has started off with a bang,” Spencer adds angling his head to see if his comment draws a reaction.
With Brody and Spencer standing eye to eye, they are both taller than Asher and the other guys, but comparable in size to each other. Spencer isn’t as muscular as Brody though, so I can see how Brody could hold his own against him if he needs to. God, I hope this isn’t one of those “need to” moments. My heart picks up the pace and my legs weaken just thinking about it.
Brody scratches the side of his chin and shoots back, “Uh, I wouldn’t know, but good for you Spencer.”
His sarcastic comeback definitely effects Spencer. He moves his eyes over Brody, sizing him up like he is going to start something, then looks over at Asher who is standing as stoic as a sentinel ready for an attack. “Ash,” Spencer says.
“Spence,” Asher returns.
This is all kinds of uncomfortable.
“Well, now that the greetings and salutations are over, we are leaving. Let’s go Brody,” Nikki says
“Why so soon Nikki? I kind of wanted to chat with Evan a bit,” Celine says.
I turn back too look at Asher’s car to check if Lia and Gavin are safely inside and notice one of Spencer’s jock friends talking to Lia. She doesn’t seem to be enjoying the conversation.
“Just back off, Chad,” Lia says as she stands with her back against the Jeep. I nudge Nikki and say, “Um, maybe some other time. We really should be getting going.”
Nikki looks at me and I tilt my head toward the car, she takes the bait and leaves my side walking over to the Lia.
I glance up at Celine, her arms folded and a cocky smile on her face. “Too bad. I wanted to get to know more about you, Evan.”
Yeah, sure.
“I would like to get to know her too,” says Spencer as he elbows his friend next to him.
Brody takes hold of my hand, lacing our fingers together. “Yeah, well that will never happen,” he says.
Celine’s eyes shoot down to Brody’s and my interlocked hands then back up at me, apparently shocked. I am just as shocked.
Spencer raises his hands in surrender and laughs it off along with his two cackling friends. “Whatever man. I’m good with leftovers.”
Celine elbows him. “Asshole.”
Brody starts to loosen his hand from mine and shifts toward Spencer. Oh shit, shit, shit. I quickly tighten my hold on his hand and pull it close to my side.
“Let’s go,” I say quietly.
Asher puts his arm out to stop Brody as well.
Casually Spencer backs away, his eyes on Brody until he breaks his stare and winks at me. I want to throw up in my mouth.
Just as he turns around with Celine, and his two idiot friends, I call out, “Hey Spencer.”
He turns around along with Celine and the others.
“Seems you don’t fare well with leftovers. Maybe if you weren’t such a dick you might fare better. Just sayin’.” It just spills from my mouth, I have no other explanation because I’m not typically that orally brave to coordinate such a comeback. It feels liberating.
I witness Spencer’s and Celine’s mouths drop for a split second and it is the most glorious sight I have ever seen.
Still holding my hand, Brody pulls me along after him and Asher. Both of them are smirking. “Damn girl. You put him in his place,” Asher says in surprised amazement. “Didn’t know you had that in you.”
Brody opens the Jeep door and talks through his teeth, “He shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”
He starts to release my hand, but I hold his firmly. “Hey,” I say, trying to get him to look at me.
Brody’s sad hazel eyes rest on mine.
“I handled it.” Frankly I’m more surprised than anyone that I did; I wonder where this bravery is coming from.
Brody puts his hand on the top of the Jeep door and leans against it.
“You sure did, sweetheart. Shit, Phillips, you have a mouth on you,” Nikki says as she hoots then laughs.
Lia joins in laughing.
“You must be rubbing off on her Nikki,” Asher says as he starts the Jeep.
Brody pats the top of the door frame with his hand, then we release our hands as he climbs in. I wait for him to sit, then step up into the Jeep. This time, I’m not as reserved when I sit on his thigh.
Lia asks me, “What made you stand up to Spencer?”
I’m wondering the same thing. “I know what it is like to be picked on and when he did it to me...,” I look at Brody as I continue, “and when he did it to Gavin at school...” I look out the side window immediately trying to escape Brody’s steady gaze. Gavin is in the front seat sending his hand in large waves out the window breaking the wind with his fingers. The one word that springs from my head is freedom. “It was time for me to stand up that’s all.”
The interior of the Jeep is silent except from the light breeze passing through the rolled down windows and the sound of passing cars. I look over at Nikki. Her head is resting on her hand supported by the door. As the lamppost lights flash into the interior, she is looking right at me smiling lightly and swaying with the motion of the car.
Once again, my shallow breaths assault me and I am a little tipsy when I step out of the truck in front of my house. Asher shuts the engine off and the rest of us climb out.
“Well, it wasn’t a dull night,” Asher says, jokingly.
Gavin steps on the sidewalk with the rest of us and says, “I’m tired. Thank you Asher. I’m going in now.”
He turns away from us and starts to walk toward his house, then stops suddenly and does a 180. His dark eyes land on me. “Thank you Evan.” He doesn’t show any sign of emotion, but him saying those words is more than I could have expected after his silence. I feel kind of special and honored, actually.
He stands there for a moment longer, then turns on his heels awkwardly and walks toward his driveway.
“I better head in. Thanks Ash,” Brody says to Asher as he holds his hand out to him.
Asher pulls him in for a manly hug, then releases him. Brody looks down at me and smiles. “Thank you.”
“You’re wel...” Before I can finish responding, he is jogging after Gavin, making sure he gets in safely.
I stand there
for a bit, watching them disappear up their driveway, wondering again what is it about Gavin. What is going on with him? I mean I know Nikki listed a few things she has heard over the years, but she never told me what exactly was going on with Gavin.
“Well, I’m going to head home too. Thank you for the ride and Blizzard, Ash,” Lia says as she turns and starts walking.
I am kind of worried about her walking. “How far is your house?”
She turns around, continuing to walk backwards as she talks, “Not far. Just four houses down on the left. Bye.” She smiles before turning and picking up her pace along the low lit sidewalk.
“Bye,” I call after her.
Nikki stands in front of Asher, her hands entwined around his neck and his around her waist as they stare into each other’s eyes. “Thanks again. I’ll see you two on Monday.”
Before I get too far away, Nikki calls after me, “Hey Evan.”
I turn around to acknowledge her.
She is looking at me, leaning her head against Asher’s arm playfully, but has a sobering expression. “What you did tonight...I know it was hard, but you did it and that means a lot to us. I just want you to know when I say thanks. I’m speaking for all of us.”
So this is what it feels like to have someone else’s back and be a friend. My heart fills and the weight of the ugliness that happened earlier disappears instantly.
Asher adds, “I knew you had a kick ass name for a reason Evan. Kick ass name for a kick ass girl.”
I laugh to myself; I can’t believe Asher just called me kick ass.
“Bye ya’ll,” I say, shyly, as I head up to my front door. It isn’t until I get inside I realize I just said ya’ll.
11:00 p.m.
12:00 a.m.
1:00 a.m.
Ugh! I can’t sleep. I listen to a branch scrape against my front window as the wind blows it from side to side and I picture it swaying in the warm Texas breeze. I’m wondering when the weather will get cooler here, when Gavin’s stiff voice breaks through the void.
“‘Tis now the very witching time of night,
When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out...”[4]
“Gavin, shhh,” Brody says in a low hiss. Upon hearing Brody’s voice, my heart leaps and a surge of energy gives me rise without a second thought.
I slip out of bed, put on my dingy white knit “wear around the house” sweater to disguise my lack of a bra at this hour, grab my flip flops, put my camera strap around my neck, and open my door enough to look out with one eye. I listen for Mom and Dad. The house is silent except for the wind howling through minuscule seams in the windows, door frames and the fireplace chimney.
Stealthily, I move downstairs and into the kitchen. Out the window over the sink the porch light is glowing from the Fergusons’ yard and Gavin’s distinct voice calls out again.
“Contagion to this world: now could I drink hot blood,
And do such bitter business as the day
Would quake to look on.” [5]
His voice sounds strong, solid, confident. The words are definitely not Frodo Baggins’ from the Lord of the Rings. I open the back door, slip through and close it silently in one swift motion.
Immediately, the cool air whips and swirls my hair. The complete shift in temperature, from balmy and hot to crisp and somewhat chilled, makes me wish I had something warmer on my legs and feet. I slip on my flip flops and walk down the steps of the porch, tucking my hands into the sleeves of my sweater. The only light is the one reflecting from Brody and Gavin’s porch. The moon is hidden behind heavy, dark, cotton ball clouds blanketed overhead. The wind picks up again, sending me in motion toward the fence.
The chain links of the chrome toned fence shine, absorbing the porch light of all it offers. I squat down to be at the perfect angle of light, contrast, and balance to snap the picture of the diamond shaped links glowing among the creeping green vines that have taken up residence on the fence.
“What are you doing?” Brody’s voice catches me off guard as he hovers above me on the other side of the fence. Ungracefully, I topple backward onto my butt; Nice Evan.
I scramble to my feet feeling the hot embarrassment of falling wash over me. I look at him only for a second, then down at the fence as I point to it like I am blaming it for my clumsiness. “I was taking a picture of the fence.”
Brody’s eyebrows rise. “A picture of the fence? Why?”
His know-it-all tone does nothing to ease my embarrassment. I mumble as I fold my arms over my chest protectively. “Contrast of the chrome on the fence, just... never mind.”
Gavin steps up to the fence next to Brody. “What are you doin’ Evan?” He asks inquisitively with a smile.
Looking between them now, I recognize how they are brothers. The shapes of their faces are almost identical even if their size and form over all vary so greatly. Brody is broad and muscular while Gavin is slim and well, not muscular at all. Suddenly, they both smile and I see even more similarities in their toothy grins.
Brody asks me again, expecting an answer. “Yeah, what are you doing out here?”
I think over why I am standing here. Telling them I am out here because I heard their voices and want to hang out is the last thing I want to say even though after tonight, Brody holding my hand, talking to me, sitting on his lap... all I want to do is hang out with him. I mean, that would sound so desperate if I said it out loud and even if I am desperate, I don’t want to throw it out there. I think it through then clear my throat. “Um, I was just up you know and I heard the wind.”
I nudge my camera with my hand still buried in my sweater sleeve. “I thought I would take some night shots, when I heard Gavin’s voice.”
Looking at Gavin now I ask, “Was that Hamlet?”
Gavin holds the fence with his hands and leans his body back playfully, smiles bashfully and nods.
“Sorry about that,” Brody says, shaking his head. “I tried to quiet him down.”
I don’t want an apology. “No, it’s all right. I wasn’t going to sleep yet.”
“Can’t sleep?” Brody asks.
I shake my head and pull the flowing strands of hair from my face, holding them down against my neck until the breeze slows again.
Brody looks at Gavin, hanging on the fence, then spins around into the yard carefree. “Yeah, neither can we,” Brody says scoffing a little just as he runs his hand through his messy hair. He is still wearing the same jeans and shirt he had on earlier tonight. That one thought has me thinking about what happened earlier; the BBQ, the car ride, sitting on his lap, him taking my hand in his at the DQ, Spencer’s crass words, Celine’s attitude, and everything else that went down. Mostly I think about why Brody held my hand. Was it some kind of protective thing?
“Why did you hold my hand tonight?” Oh shit! I just said that out loud!
I hold my breath, frozen in his gaze, expecting him to... to... I don’t know what... explode maybe? Damn, he makes me nervous sometimes.
Brody looks down and kicks the bottom link of the fence, making a funny jangling sound as the chrome meets chrome. “I knew Spencer would start shit. I just didn’t want you to be left... vulnerable.”
“Protecting me like you watch over Gavin?” Oh Evan, just shut up and let him talk!
His warm, hazel eyes land on me; the weight of them is strong, but at the same time I love the feeling his look gives me. “Kind of like that,” he says softly.
Is he protecting me like Gavin or is it something else? It feels like something else and God I hope it is, but I’m not sure.
“I guess I wanted to let Celine and Spence know I wouldn’t let them hurt you.” Brody leans his head back, the wind rustles his copper brown hair. “That didn’t work out to well though. Spencer was still a dick.”
“Yeah,” I nod my head and clutch my arms around my body.
“Why did you hold my hand tighter?” Brody asks.
My heart skips a beat. “What? I didn’t...”
His grin is slight, but enough to make his eyes light up a little as he slowly nods. “Yes, you did.”
“I just tightened...” I try to explain.
“Ah, Ah! See you did,” his grin widens as he lets out a triumphant laugh.
His smile is contagious; I catch it. I shake my head and look down, coyly. It doesn’t stop me from trying to explain though. “I didn’t want you to make a move on Spencer. The only way I could think of keeping you from a fight, was to hold your hand tighter.”
Brody’s head bobs up and down. “So you were protecting me?”
I answer quickly, giving him a taste of his own medicine with the vague answer, “Yeah, kind of.”
His grin softens and becomes smaller yet still visible. God, he is super cute when he does that with his lips.
Lips. Watching his lips makes me think of sitting on his lap in the back of the Jeep. How close we were, feeling the heat of his body near me, the heat of his breath on me. UGH!
I so don’t need to be thinking about this now! Brody watches me carefully as I shift nervously from one foot to the other and tighten my arms closer to my body. Thank God for the lack of light from the porch, or he would definitely see me all shades of red. I raise my chin toward Gavin spinning into the middle of the yard and say distractingly to Brody. “So, Gavin really likes Shakespeare.”
“Yeah, that and the Lord of the Rings books,” Brody says smiling and looking out into the yard as Gavin stops spinning and begins walking a wide lined circle in the center of their yard.
I am hypnotized by his grin, but the spell is broken when he looks back at me. I look back at Gavin. “Hearing his voice, the confidence he has in what he is saying, the words, he is brilliant.”
Brody folds his hands across his body and watches Gavin again. His smile falters a little and a seriousness falls over his once playful lips. “Yeah, brilliantly unstable.”
His words are sad and I want to ask why he would say that, but I remember who I’m talking to and try and be tactful. “Brilliantly unstable?”
He looks back at me just long enough to catch my eye, then focuses back on Gavin. “He is a genius when it comes to math, English, all the subjects really, but the things he does and says... the way he reacts to things like touch, sound... anything can set him off. He is unpredictable and if I’m not there...” Brody doesn’t finish his comment as he closes his eyes, visibly marred by this concern, worrying about his brother’s instability and what could result if he is left alone, unprotected. “It’s just... Gavin can be erratic sometimes.”
Dismantling Evan Page 16
