Her Heart for the Asking

by Lisa Mondello

  Most all the supplies were tucked underneath a tarp in the back of the truck. They left everything in the truck and went inside.

  Beau wasted no time at all in lighting a gas lamp set on a small table in the center of the room. The light cast an amber glow against the room. Mandy hugged herself to keep the chill of the cabin from making her shiver. But she did anyway. Wet clothes, cold cabin didn't make for warmth.

  She pushed past the thought that only being in the warmth of Beau's arms would chase away the chill.

  "We'll drop everything inside first and unload it later."

  She looked around the compact cabin. It was only meant for a few cowboys while the herd was in the high country. Certainly not meant for a romantic interlude.

  The sturdy wood table sitting in the center of the room was about all the furniture the small cabin had. A small kettle wood stove stood at one end of the room while on the opposite side four bunks were built into the wall. They were bare of bedding, just clean, bare mattresses.

  She needed to get out of there. Following Beau outside, she felt a drop of rain on her cheek and then another. Looking up at the dark clouds, she sighed. They needed to work fast to unload the truck so they could head back. The rain made her work quicker and it was better to put this anxious energy to physical work rather than allowing her mind to wander to thoughts of Beau.

  The clouds were practically sitting on their shoulders as they unloaded box after box of supplies that the hands would need for the cattle drive. Half way through unloading the sky opened up and swallowed them in a downpour.

  Beau yanked two bright yellow rain slickers from the rack in the cabin and handed Mandy one.

  "We have to hurry or we'll never make it back."

  Beau didn't need to say more than that. There was no way Mandy was going to get caught alone with Beau until weather cleared and the road dried. Her aunt and uncle would worry, regardless of the fact that she was now an adult, quite capable of living on her own.

  Once they were done, and completely out of breath from running back and forth from the truck to the cabin, they settled in the cabin and pulled off their wet slickers.

  Beau shook out the slickers and hung them near the stove to dry while he watched Mandy.

  "I hope this rain cools off the air," Mandy said, pulling off her straw hat and fingering the wet ends of her hair. She pulled out the comb she'd secured earlier in the back of her head and used it to free the snarls caused by the wind and choking humidity.

  "It'll probably sizzle as it hits the ground. Won't do much if we don't have any breeze."

  "Should we chance unpacking everything or just head back before the road washes out?"

  "You in a hurry?" he said.

  "Aren't you?"

  Beau didn't answer. What on earth could he say? The thought of being stranded in the cabin with Mandy was just too tempting. He thought about the dirt road down by the creek and knew they were taking their chances staying too long. It was only a matter of time before the creek jumped it's banks and flowed over the road. There'd be no passing it by truck. The only way they'd be able to get back to the ranch was by horse. And since they didn't take any, they'd be stuck.

  He had to admit he'd give anything to just spend some time alone with Mandy, try to capture some of that magic he'd been feeling between them. But his conscience getting the better of him, he conceded. "You're right. We'd best be getting out of here. We can leave this for another day when the weather is on our side."

  She was fiddling with her hair with some pearly comb she'd had hidden under her straw cowboy hat. As soon as she was finished brushing out the ends with it, she'd twirled her hair into some kind of twist and secured it with the comb.

  He was finding it difficult to breathe. Not that it was any surprised to Beau. Mandy had always had a way of catching him off guard, making his mouth go dry for wanting her. It had been a long time since he'd been caught in the tidal wave of feelings that he'd held for Mandy alone.

  She'd had some special loves, she'd said on the ride up. Beau had always thought there may be someone special, had hoped that she'd been happy. He just didn't think it'd feel so much like a kick in the gut to know about it. He'd wanted her to be happy with him, kissing him in his arms like she used to do. He wanted to think that the smile she shined up at him in the moonlight when their kisses ended was reserved only for him.

  He'd been a fool. She'd had a few special loves in her life. Part of him couldn't help but wonder if what she'd shared with another man was as special as what they'd shared together. Was it that egotistically of him to want that?

  They started the ride back in silence, almost as they were on the ride from the airport to Steerage Rock. Except Mandy wasn't quite hugging the door to keep from being close to him. She wasn't sitting snug up against him like she did when they were together, and suddenly Beau realized that was exactly what he wanted.

  "Have you seen your family much since you've been home?" she asked finally.

  Small talk, he realized. Mandy had never met his brothers or his parents. Beau had been too fearful to tell them of his relationship lest his father take revenge on Hank Promise's niece. But he'd talk to Mandy about them a lot.

  "I see Brock and Jack some. Cody is too much of my father to see past anything I do, so I steer clear of him most of the time."

  The shift to talk of his family made Beau's insides burn. They weren't the typical big happy family you see on TV.

  "What about your parents?"

  "Mom died a few years back," he said in a low voice. The words caught in his throat and made it hard to swallow as it did every time he talked of his mother. Despite his father's mean spirit, Eleanor Gentry loved the man, although Beau had a hard time seeing how. She loved her boys and ranching.

  Mandy reached across the seat and placed a gentle hand on his arms. "I'm so sorry, Beau."

  The emotion in her voice was genuine. He nodded, as he didn't trust his voice to say much more.

  When he finally felt the emotion pass, he went on. "It was a stupid accident. I guess she was climbing a ladder to straighten a picture on the wall and slipped. Broke her neck and died instantly. Brock found her."

  "How horrible."

  Beau had to agree. He knew his kid brother had gone through some rough times after finding his mother dead like that. He'd been so young, barely ten when Beau left on the road and just shy of fifteen when they'd lost his mom.

  "It must be so hard for your father."

  "I wouldn't know," he said harshly.

  He didn't look at her. Didn't want to see the shocked look on her face. Despite knowing how much Mike Gentry despised Hank Promise, Mandy had never been able to understand how he could toss aside his family for something as frivolous as land. And because she didn't understand, she'd never understand the decisions Beau had made over the last eight years where his family was concerned.

  "You're not telling me you haven't seen your father since you've been back, are you?"

  "I've been busy."

  "Too busy to talk to your own father?"

  "Let's not discuss this, Mandy."

  "Why not? You came running to Hank's side, but you haven't even taken five lousy minutes to see your own dad. What does that say?"

  "We said what we had to say to each other a long time ago. There's nothing more to say."

  "I don't believe that."

  "Believe what you want, Mandy. You just don't understand."

  "Well, then try me. I'd like to understand."

  He glanced at her and for a split second he saw the girl she was eight years ago. The girl who believed that love could conquer all, who believed that what was good and right about the world would prevail over bad. He saw Mandy, the woman who'd taken his heart and shut the door to any others who'd come along since.

  "He didn't call me to tell me my mother had died," he said past the tightness and anger lodge in his throat. "Cody called me three days after the funeral because I never showed. He was madder
than a bull chasing a rodeo clown because he thought I didn't care enough to come home to my own mother's funeral. Dad told my brothers he'd take care of calling me, but he never did it."

  "My God, how could he have done that to you?"

  "How? Because that's Mike Gentry. Never forgave me for ‘siding with the enemy’ or for leaving the ranch to go rodeo. He never forgets, and he always pays you back for the wrongs you do to him. Denying me the right to say good-bye to my mother with the rest of the family was my payback for leaving."

  "You've never spoken to him since then?"

  It took a moment for the old wounds to close up and for his heart rate to calm to a steady beat again. He waited until he could trust himself to speak. "I left as soon as Cody called. Went to mom's grave and saw all the flowers from the funeral wilting in the hot sun. I couldn't believe she was lying there underneath it all." He wondered if his heartache would ever fade. These days he didn't fall to the ground and cry like a baby as he had then. But the years hadn't made talking about the loss of his mother any easier.

  Beau wasn't a man who admitted his emotions much. Like all the Gentry boys, he'd been taught by the strap and the harsh word to be a man. Cowboys don't cry. He'd never seen gentleness in any man until he'd met Hank Promise.

  The hand Mandy held on his arm tightened. He didn't want to look at her, didn't want her to see the shame he felt in not being there for his mother. For leaving her and not coming back. Lord only knew why she'd loved Mike Gentry or how she'd put up with his ways for so many years. She'd deserved more.

  "Dad found me at her grave," he went on. "It was almost like he was waiting for me there in the shadows, waiting to have the last say again." Beau shook his head, trying to will the memories and hatred away. "I told him I'd lost my beloved mother and as far as I was concerned I had no father. They were the last words I ever spoke to him."

  Mandy was quiet for a long while.

  "You were angry."

  "It was much more than anger."

  "Hurt, yes, I know. He hurt you badly. You were both hurting. It may not be the same for us, but I do know how you feel."

  He glanced at her then and his heart did a flip. "Yeah, you do, don't you. But your dad would never do something so cold-hearted to you though."

  She shook her head. "No, he wouldn't. And things aren't as bad as they used to be with us. It wasn't always easy for me to accept some of my father's ways, but we've worked through a lot. It's easier now. Maybe because I'm older. I don't know. Maybe now that some time has passed you should try to talk to your father--"

  "No!"

  "You were both hurting. People do terrible things some times when they're in pain."

  "He's still the same man. And what's worse is he's turning my brother Cody into the same stock."

  "Beau."

  "Forget it, Mandy, it was in the past. Any feelings I have for that man I've just shut off and left behind."

  She just stared at him until he turned to look at her.

  He could see it in her eyes, the questions, the conclusions she was coming to. Was it that easy to let go of us, too?

  He wanted to say the words out loud. Tell her that, no, it had nearly killed him to leave her behind. He'd had no choice. As he drove out of Texas that day, he'd prayed that they'd both find happiness some day without each other. Because he knew his father would make it impossible for them to be happy together. It had taken all his strength to keep from turning around and racing to the airport to catch her before she left his life forever.

  But he'd clung to hope that Mandy would eventually be happier without him. That's what had kept him moving forward even when he doubted his decision to leave her.

  The rain had subsided some since they'd left the cabin. Although Beau had the urge to gun it back to the ranch, he took it slow to keep from getting caught in a rut and sliding off the muddy road. The windshield wipers whined as they smacked back and forth against the ends of the windshield. Mandy had her window open to catch what little relief from the heat she could despite having the rain wiping her in the face.

  He couldn't help himself, he had to ask.

  "You never answered me, Mandy."

  She crinkled her nose into an adorable frown.

  "Have you been happy these last eight years? I mean really happy?"

  She tossed him a wry grin. "You mean the kind of happy that follows you around like the moon?"

  He chuckled. "Yeah, something like that."

  "Beau, that's a fairy tale and you know it."

  His heart fell deep in his chest. "Happiness isn't a fairy tale, Mandy. It's getting up and knowing where you are and where you want to go and feeling good about it. It's not something that only people in books have. You deserve that, too."

  "Are you happy?"

  "Sometimes."

  She looked at him thoughtfully and he wondered if she was thinking of what had been between them. What could have been. He knew he'd been thinking a whole lot about it these last few days.

  Easing the truck down an embankment toward the creek, Beau groaned out loud.

  Mandy took in the expression on Beau's face, already not liking what it meant. "Is it bad?"

  "Ruts are filled with water. The tires are skidding."

  Mandy remained quiet and let Beau concentrate on his driving. If they skid off the road, it would be an easier walk back up to the cabin than all the back to the ranch. It was late enough in the day that she knew Beau would take the alternative to head to the cabin over heading home.

  Raindrops pounded on the roof of the truck, making her ears ring. The windshield wipers whipping to and fro did little to help the visibility. Mandy kept her window open and moved toward the middle of the cab. It was easier to see the bank of the road through the open window, despite the rage of rain flying into the truck.

  "Don't go too close to this side of the road."

  "I'm trying to keep her steady in the middle, but already the ground is like a mud pit. Oh, no," Beau said, groaning. He slowed down as they made it to the bottom of the hill and rolled down his window all the way to look outside.

  "What wrong?" Mandy asked, not being able to see anything in the direction Beau was now looking.

  "Cattle are one of the most beautiful of all God's creatures and sure as spit they're the dumbest."

  After stopping the truck in the center of the washed out road, Beau pushed open the door.

  "Why do you say that?"

  "One of the cows broke from the herd and decided to birth her calf in the middle of the swamp. A swamp, for crying out loud! She could have had the whole damned mountain and she chooses here and now of all times to give birth."

  "It's not like she had a choice of when, Beau," Mandy said, moving over to the driver's side so she could look in the direction Beau was pointing.

  "No, but she could have chosen a more practical spot to have her miracle. Like one I wouldn't have to wade through to go rescue her baby. If I don't get that calf out of there, her momma never will be able to once the creek rises. The calf will end up drowning."

  "Oh, no. Then we have to get her."

  "Keep yourself dry in the truck. I'll take care of it."

  "I'm already soaking wet."

  The rain was loud as it hit the roof of the truck that Mandy hadn't heard the plaintive mooing of the cow or the much softer call of her calf until she slid out of the truck and slammed the door. She followed on Beau's heels down toward the creek. The creek was rising steadily. Even Mandy could tell the difference between now and when they'd first driven up to the cabin. It was only a matter of time before the banks were flooded and the entire area around them would be under water.

  She carefully stepped over rotten stumps and twigs toward the calf.

  "You should have stayed in the truck," Beau said. "This ground is like a sponge. You're liable to lose a boot in this mud bog."

  Too late.

  "Ah, Beau?"

  He halted his stride a few yards ahead of her and angled back
, tossing her a questioning glance beneath the rim of his cowboy hat.

  Mandy just smiled sheepishly, trying her best to stand steady on one foot.

  Beau shook his head and chuckled as he strode back up the embankment toward her. "I will never understand the female species," he muttered.

  "You don't have to understand them to enjoy them," she said, smiling wickedly.

  Had she really said that? It felt so nature a comeback, like the easy banter they'd shared years ago. She was flirting with him, she realized, and the twinkle in his eyes told her he knew it. What surprised her more was that she actually liked the feeling of flirting with Beau again.

  Beau walked past her to the point where she'd stepped out of her boot. As he pulled it from the muck, it made a suction sound. He shook it a few times to rid it of mud, but it didn't seem to help all that much.

  He was laughing as he stooped down in front of her to help her put it back on. She couldn't keep her own laughter at bay either.

  "I can't guarantee it'll be clean and dry when you put your foot back in it, Cinderella, but there's nothing I can do about it just this second, short of carrying you to the truck and-"

  "That won't be necessary," she insisted. Placing her hands on his shoulders to steady herself, she said, "Just help me get my foot into the boot and I'll live with the mud and grit."

  He was touching her foot. When she'd stepped out of her boot her sock had half slipped off with it and now Beau gently pushed it back up into place. The feel of his hand on her seemed too intimate. She'd never thought of her foot as being at all sensual, but the care in which Beau touched her and eased her boot back into place made her suddenly feel lightheaded. She wondered vaguely if this was how Cinderella felt having her glass slipper placed on her foot by the Prince.

  Chuckling to herself as she put her foot back down on the ground, Mandy decided that she may have one thing in common with Cinderella, but she was sure the fairy-tale princess hadn't found herself in the pouring rain having to rescue a calf in a swamp afterward.